"If you can feel it, you can control it." This was the first time Shi Xiaonian had opened her heart to him since arriving here. This was a good thing.
Was it because Gong Ou had come? Indeed, the crux of the matter lay with Gong Ou."But I need to look like a normal person, at least for the next two days." Shi Xiaonian said, his eyes revealing an incomparably determined look.
"Why?" "For so long, I've never suggested that you take a drug because of the BABY in your stomach. If you did, what would you do if there were any consequences?"
The baby is so fragile that everyone wants to give the child the best.Hearing this, Shi Xiaonian's gaze gradually dimmed as she lowered her eyes to look at her bulging stomach. Her hand that was hanging down gripped the corner of her clothes tightly, bit by bit, to give herself enough courage, "What if I say that I'm not prepared to have this child?"
"What?"
Rollie stared at her in shock, incredulous.
"When my foster mother died, I decided to give up on this child." Shi Xiaonian said each word with great difficulty, as if he was biting his own flesh.
Min Qiujun's death was the last straw that broke Shi Xiaonian's spirit. From then on, she made this decision.
She didn't want to hurt anyone anymore."Do you want to say no now? You can only induce labor now. Do you know how much damage induced labor can do to pregnant women? " "This child is a life. Are you going to selfishly decide his fate for him?"
"…"
Shi Xiaonian lowered her head and did not speak.Yes, not having children was also a form of selfishness. She was very selfish.
Her face was terrifyingly pale. Seeing her like this, Luo Lie relaxed his attitude and pulled over a swivel chair to push it towards the window. "Mrs. Gong, since you're willing to chat with me, I think we should talk properly."
"Gong Ou is waiting for me downstairs. I'll be leaving after I get the medicine."
Shi Xiaonian said. She was afraid that she would not be able to control herself and would not be able to face Gong Ou, causing Gong Ou to become suspicious.
It was about his future, his life.
"Finish chatting with me. If you can move me, I'll let you go." He walked to the window, raised his hand and pulled open the curtain, allowing the sunlight to fall on the swivel chair. It was extremely bright. "Sit."
Shi Xiaonian raised her eyes and looked at him, unable to do anything else as she walked forward. One foot stepped forward, gradually stepping into the sunlight.The sunlight made her look weak.
She sat down in the swivel chair, and as he leaned against the window, as if he were a doctor, the gray curtain on the other side flapped slightly, and he said, "Speak, and persuade me."
"I'm not fit to be a mother." Shi Xiaonian sat on the swivel chair, and as if he was a believer receiving the teachings of God, he narrated all of his sins in detail. "Because of my mistake, Solanum nigrum suffered from the aftereffects of gunfire and fear, hurt Holy at such a young age, and left him with a shadow that he wouldn't be able to remove for his entire life. I can't even take care of the two children I have now, how can I take care of the one in my stomach?"
In the past, she thought that the child inside her would be filled with happiness once it was born, so she persisted and even Gong Ou was not stubborn enough to win against her.It was only now that she understood that if she was going to make the child unhappy, it must be because of her.
"Go on."
He decided to wait until she was finished.
Shi Xiaonian sat in the swivel chair, her entire body was covered in sunlight, as though her entire body was covered in darkness, she clenched her fist again, and said softly, "I killed many people, if I was not caught in the trap, those people would not have died, if I could accurately predict the consequences of my decisions, my foster mother would not have died."
It was just like a student trying to answer a question. She had seriously read every question, but in the end, she could only choose the wrong answer.And this time, there was no chance for him to start over again.
"Your kind of self-denial is typical. You think that all the negative emotions are caused by yourself, but think about it carefully." Luo Lie leaned against the window and started to speak, "Firstly, your adopted mother already had a death wish, if you don't go, she will commit suicide. Secondly, a lot of people died in Hill's incident, but the reason for it was all planned by the Mr. Gong."But he did it for me." Shi Xiaonian said in a clear voice, "If he didn't understand me and didn't know my human nature's weakness, he wouldn't have planned such a thing. If I was smart enough to make him feel relieved, he wouldn't have planned it."
"…"
Luo Lie was rendered speechless. She actually thought this way.
After a long period of silence, Shi Xiaonian raised her head. She looked at him in a daze and asked, "Dr. Lo, is my logic wrong?"
"I …"
He felt that her words were full of questions, but he was unable to find a way to refute them.
She was trapped by this logic."Isn't that right? I've also been thinking about it for a long time. No matter how I think about it, it's still a problem for me. " Shi Xiaonian said bitterly, "Rather than that, I might as well do it with absolute certainty. The baby is in my stomach, he's still unconscious, so he doesn't have to be like the Solanum nigrum and the others who came to this world to be implicated by me."
The child was supposed to be the most carefree in the world, but what were her children experiencing?
"Mrs. Gong." "If you lose your child, Mr. Gong will also be injured. I think you don't want him to feel sad.""It could be called an accident. This way, the damage would be minimized."
Shi Xiaonian said.She had even thought about this. It seemed like the idea of an abortion wasn't coming to her mind for a day or two.
When she was completely bathed in the sunlight, she seemed exceptionally weak. Her soft lips moved slightly as she said, "Give me the medicine, Dr. Lo."
If he was any slower, Gong Ou would have found him. He was an impatient person, but he wouldn't be able to wait for her for too long."Mrs. Gong, your child needs the protection of his parents. If you don't think your ability is enough, there is still the Mr. Gong, right?" "I can see that you really love Mr. Gong and admire him to a certain extent. You should believe in him."
Hearing that, Shi Xiaonian's eyes became even gloomier, her lips pursed.
"Mrs. Gong …"
"Gong Ou has a paranoid personality disorder. Although he has gotten better these few years, there are still a lot of things that make him crazy." Shi Xiaonian said softly, "Originally, I thought that the adults shouldn't drag the children into this, but Gong Ou would never think that way. He is too paranoid about me."
"…""In Hill, he could have prevented the two children from encountering danger, but he was worried that I would do something stupid after I was captured, so he decided to arrange for two young children to stay by my side and let me worry so that I would have the will to survive." Shi Xiaonian lowered her eyes and said, her voice became more bitter, "I am not a good mother, and he is not the father with 100 points."
"…"
"Dr. Lo, I don't want to feel indebted to my child anymore." Shi Xiaonian said as she looked at him pleadingly, "Give me the medicine, let me calm down a little. At the very least, I cannot let Gong Ou, who has the guts to go crazy for me, leave in worry."If that was the case, who knows what Gong Ou would do?
Rollie really wanted to persuade her, but somehow he felt like she had persuaded him. She was mentally unstable, but her condition was not as bad as he had imagined.Because she had thought a lot, thought a lot, and came up with a corresponding solution.
A person with a total mental breakdown could not do this. She was much stronger than he thought."Have you really thought about it?" "Perhaps you can chat with Mr. Gong and let him choose to change his mind properly. He won't need to do everything absolutely to protect you and make him understand that harming the people you care about is also hurting you."
"It's paranoid personality disorder."
That was Gong Ou, if he could change it completely, he would have changed it long ago."…"
Luo Lie had been completely defeated. Towards Shi Xiaonian, he could not persuade her otherwise, because she had thought too much into it.
Shi Xiaonian looked at him and Luo Lie sighed. She walked to the shelf by the wall and removed a bottle of medicine from it.
"Thank you."
Shi Xiaonian walked in front of him.Luo Lie tightly gripped the medicine bottle and still looked at her with some hesitation. "Have you really thought it through?" This is your child. It is a life. "
"I really have." Shi Xiaonian resolutely nodded, "When I send Gong Ou off and let him settle the matters in England, I will choose to take this child away.""Maybe when Mr. Gong returns, everything will be better. Things will no longer be as difficult as they are now." Luo Lie clenched the bottle, still hesitating.
"As long as a person is alive, trouble will always exist. I can't afford to hurt the people around me." Shi Xiaonian said, her eyes were clean but gloomy, "Furthermore, I did not dare predict the outcome of Gong Ou's trip here, so I have prepared for the worst. I do not want him to leave, filled with worry."She didn't want Gong Ou to think about how good my Shi Xiaonian was in the country. She also didn't want him to think about whether he was safe or obedient.
She reached out to him slowly.
"Perhaps, after this matter is over, you can choose to leave the Mr. Gong for a period of time to calm your mind. At that time, you might not be thinking this way, you might not have to force yourself to kill this child." Luo Lie still wanted to persuade her.
If she just wanted to avoid bringing harm to others, she could choose to leave alone.
Shi Xiaonian shook her head, "I can't leave Gong Ou."
No.
She couldn't do it because Gong Ou had given too much for her.
"…" Luo Lie had nothing to say. After hesitating for a long time, he finally placed the medicine bottle into her palm, "Mrs. Gong, I misjudged you before. Your mental state is not too good, but you are the strongest woman I've ever seen."
"Thank you."
Shi Xiaonian lowered her eyes and looked at the center of her palm. On top of it was a small, white medicine bottle.
Chapter end
Report
|
Donate
Oh o, this user has not set a donation button.
|