His Invisible Halo 24 Chapter 23

I deleted his number. Mas mabuti ng malaman ko ng maaga na wala pala syang nararamdaman para sa akin kaysa lalo akong umasa. I just decided to act normal like nothing happened. I don't want anyone to perceived me as weak or see me vulnuerable because of that guy. I want to change myself and face him feeling nothing.

"How's your date with Draven? I'm starting to like that guy for you." Ersy asked. I remember again what I did to him last time. He's too good for me pero madalas akong lutang o di kaya naman ay may ibang iniisip pag kasama sya. Mas mabuti na nga sigurong may iba syang pinagkakaabalahan ngayon kaysa nauubos yung oras nya sa akin.

"We're just friends. Ikaw pa din bestfriend ko." sagot ko na ikinatuwa nya. Humawak pa sya sa braso ko pero mabilis nya ding binitawan ng magkita sila ng boyfriend nya. I'm more than happy for her as I watched the video of River singing infront of her here in Cambridge. I told her that I'm on her back kapag may nanira sa kanya o sa kanilang dalawa.  Halos mamatay pa naman kami sa kilig kagabi kaya't hindi ako makatulog ng maayos.

I don't want to tell her what happened to Asher and I noong isang araw dahil ayokong mag alala pa sya sa akin. But knowing her, alam nya na hindi kami ayos dalawa. Pagkarating namin sa cafeteria, nakasalubong ko ang mga players ng basketball. Joaquin is waving at me kaya't nung makorder ako ay doon ako umupo sa pwesto nila. Nagpaalam ako sa bestfriend ko na hihiwalay ako ng table. I want to give personal space for them din naman.

"Hi." Bati ko sa kanila. It's the first time that I saw them here. Balita ko kasi ay palagi silang lumalabas para kumain tuwing break unlike Asher and River na dito kumakain.

"We haven't talk for long during River's birthday. Why do you left so early. Something happened right?" ramdam ko ang panunukso sa boses ni Maki. Umiling naman ako sa kanila. I don't want to tell them that Asher gave me that kind of stupid dare.

"Masama lang talaga ang pakilasa ko." I answered. Thank God they didn't ask for more.

"What about this Saturday? Are you free?" ngayon naman ay si Andre ang nagtanong. Usually, the four of them including Ervin are always the one who's asking me. I noticed that Dexter and Caleb are quiet for now that's why I'm wondering what happened to them. Maiingay din kasi sila nung birthday ni River kaya naninibago ako.

"Wala naman. Bakit? Anong meron?" tanong ko.

"We'll do mountain climbing. Did you already experienced that?  Ervin asked. I can't help but to get excited upon hearing that.

"Not really. But I want to try something new." I answered. Kung matutuloy yung sinasabi nilang mountain climbing sa sabado, iyon pa lang ang unang pagkakataon na makakaakyat ako ng bundok. I'll tell Ersy about this at paniguradong matutuwa iyon.

"So are you in?" I answered Andre's question with a nod while smiling.

Noong mga sumunod na araw ay sa kanila ako sumasabay sa pagkain. I haven't seen Asher. Sa sobrang laki nitong University namin ay hindi kami magpangita ngayon or ayaw nya lang talagang magpakita sa akin. I'm getting curious but I didn't bother to ask any of his friends. Looking at Laurene a while ago, I noticed how different her smile is. I'm very sure that it's because of him.

"I can't go with you, Kel. Alam mo naman kailangan kong umuwi sa bahay ngayong linggo." paliwanag nya.

"I'll just cancel it then I'll go with you." wika ko pero hindi naman sya pumayag. Kahit anong gawin kong pakikipagtalo ay hindi ito pumayag sa gusto ko.

"I already told River na sya na ang bahala sayo. Don't worry, Kel. Ayos lang ako." paliwanag nya. Noong gabing iyon ay hindi pa din ako makampante kaya't tumawag ako kina tito. Sinabi nya sa akin na maayos naman daw sila at wala ng kailangang ipag alala. Ayoko lang talaga na maulit yung nangyari dati. They're having financial problems and Ersy is not telling me about this.

I just decided to fix my things for our mountain climbing at hinintay ko si River. I already messaged him but he's not replying. Akala ko ay hindi na matutuloy dahil alas singko na ng hapon pero hindi wala pa din sya dito. Ganito nga siguro kapag excited, hindi natutuloy. Maya maya ay natanggap ko yung text nya, he told me that he's already outside kaya't nagmadali akong kumilos. They didn't gave me the exact time kaya hindi ko alam na tuloy pala. Lumabas na ako ng apartment pagkatapos ko ayusin yung mga gamit ko. I am surprised when I saw that he's not the one driving.  Pinagbuksan nya ako ng pinto at pinaupo sa una bago sya pumwesto sa backseat.

"Good morning, Kel." naasiwa tuloy ako sa bati nya. Hindi na ako nakapagreklamo pa at umupo na lang sa unahan.

"Good morning, Asher." bati ko at malawak na ngumiti sa katabi ko. I just want to show him that I'm alright at wala na akong kahit anong inis na nararamdaman para sa kanya. I thought that he will not come with us today since wala namang nabanggit si Joaquin na sasama sya sa akin.

Hindi ko alam na medyo malayo pala ang pupuntahan namin. Bukas siguro kami magsisimula kaya't ngayong gabi kami umalis. Sa kalagitnaan ng byahe ay nagsalita si River.

"It's too boring here. Kung alam ko lang na ganito kayo katahimik dalawa sana hindi na lang ako sumabay." reklamo nung nasa likod. Sinulyapan ko naman ito habang nagkakamot ng batok.

"You can go out and commute on your own." Asher said showing no emotions while his eyes are very focused on driving. Bakit ba ang sama ng ugali nito sa kaibigan nya?

"Stop the car. Bababa ako." nagulat ako sa sinabi niya. I never thought that he will take that seriously. Inihinto naman ni Asher yung kotse at ang kumag na si River ay bumaba nga.

"Hoy! What the---

I wasn't able to continue what I'm saying. I just saw River waving at me.

"Stop the car, Asher! Sasabay ako kay River." reklamo ko pero hindi nya naman inihinto yung kotse.

"Why don't you want me to drive you?" he asked. I was about to answer when I heard my phone beeps. I saw River text message on the screen.

River: Enjoy your date.

Nakaramdam naman ako ng inis ng mabasa ko iyon. Kaya pala nararamdaman ko na parang may mali. Everything was planned and I was late to realize about it.

"Stop the car, Asher. Ihinto mo." sigaw ko sa kanya. He's acting like a deaf for not hearing what I'm saying. I look at outside. The sun is already setting down but I don't care. I just want to get rid of him. Ayokong sumama sa kanya kasi nangako ako sa mga kaibigan nya na sasama ako sa kanila.

"Stop the car! Ayokong sumama sayo!" sigaw ko, nagbabakasaling makikinig sya. Ginawa ko lahat para sumunod lang sya sa gusto ko. I even distracted him while driving. Sinubukan kong galawin yung manibela.

"Fuck!" mura nya. Mas lalo akong nainis kaya hindi ako tumigil sa ginagawa ko.

"Kapag hindi mo ako hinayaang makababa, mababangga talaga tayo." pananakot ko.

Maya maya ay inihinto nya ang kotse. Ginamit ko ng pagkakataon iyon para makalabas. I'm in the middle of nowhere right now. Mayroong mga ilaw na nagmumula sa mga poste at nakakarinig din ako ng mga creepy na sounds ng insekto. Na'san na ba kami ngayon?

I just decided to look at my cellphone. Great! Ngayon pa talaga nawalan ng signal. Narinig ko ang pagbukas ng pinto ng kotse at nakita ko na lang na lumabas si Asher bago ito lumapit sa akin.

"There's no taxi here. You should get inside the car." he commanded. I don't know why he's doing this. May mga araw na wala syang pakealam sa akin tapos ito na naman sya ngayon.

"Why will I follow you? Why are you doing this?" magkasunod kong tanong. Kung balak nya lang din naman palang paglaruan yung feelings ko, pwes huwag na nyang ituloy.

"I know you're still mad at me. I just want to make things clear for us." he replied. Doon na nagpantig ang tenga ko sa sinabi nya. I told myself na hindi na ako magagalit pero ito na naman sya at gumagawa ng rason para magalit ako.

"I'm sorry." he exclaimed. Galit akong tumingin sa kanya.

"Wag mo na akong guluhin, please lang! I'm trying my best to forget about what happened, Asher. Pilit ko namang isinisiksik sa kukote ko na wala naman akong karapatang magselos kasi hindi naman kita boyfriend. It's all my fault. I just let myself fall on your trap not knowing that you're just fooling me. Kahit na sabihin ko sayong nagseselos ako sa inyo ni Laurene wala ka pa din namang pakealam di'ba? Kasi hindi mo naman ako gusto!" pakiramdam ko ay nanghina ako matapos kong sabihin lahat ng iyon. Saying those words made me felt like someone stabbed me in my chest. Realizing that he felt nothing about me makes me hurt this way.

"Is that what made you mad? You're jealous?" he asked again. That make me more even pissed. Damn him!

"I already said it! Bakit ba kailangan paulit ulit pa? Fine! You already won on your stupid game Asher! Umasa ako! Ako na yung assuming kasi inakala ko na pareho tayo ng nararamdaman. Happy?" he's just silent when he said those. He's not saying anything. Mabilis kong pinahid yung mga luhang nagbabadyang pumatak mula sa mga mata ko.

"Pero wag kang mag alala! Kung ano man yung nararamdaman ko para sayo kakalimutan ko na. I will forget my feelings so could only focus on your girl, Laurene. Kasi kahit hindi mo sabihin sa akin, ramdam ko naman yung totoo. Na sya yung mahal mo. " I answered while tears keep on flowing down my cheeks. Before I could make a step as I turned my back, he held my hand. The next thing I knew, my right hand was already on his chest.

His heart is beating too fast like what I am experiencing whenever he's near.

"Now tell me who's the girl I love." he commanded. Hindi ko maiwasang maguluhan sa sinasabi nya sa akin ngayon. Hindi pa din sya bumibitaw ng titig sa akin.

"It's t-too late. Kakalimutan ko na yung n-nararamdam

"I won't let you move on from me. I won't  let you forget me. I've never been inlove to anyone not until I saw you. So please stay. Be with me just for this night."

Chapter end