His Invisible Halo 23 Chapter 22

About that kissing incident, it's only between the two of us. I'm very confused these past few days.  I'm afraid because he never give me any assurance. We're not in a relationship and yet he has the right to feel jealous and kiss me whenever he wants.

Asher: Have you eaten your lunch?

I read his text message. I am with Draven now eating in a fastfood chain. He's in Cavite now for a seminar because he was chosen as one of the representatives.

Asher: Who are you with?

Hindi tuloy ako makakain dahil panay  tanong sya sa akin.

"Why don't you reply?" Draven asked. Ininom ko muna yung coke sa harapan ko bago ko sya sinagot.

"Why would I? Di ko naman sya boyfriend." I answered bitterly. I heard Draven laugh kaya hindi ko alam kung may nakakatawa ba sa sinabi ko or ano.

"Hmm, looks like the two of you are indenial. Did he already confess his love for you?" napakunot naman ang noo ko dahil sa sinabi nya. Why does he always want to talk about Asher? Sa tuwing kakain kaming dalawa ay hindi maaaring hindi ko maiisip ang lalaking iyon.

"Ewan ko, Draven. Wag na lang muna natin syang pag usapan." wika ko. Hindi ko lang kasi maiwasang mainis. Palagi na lang syang nagagalit tuwing may kasama akong iba tapos kapag nakikita ko naman silang magkasama ni Laurene, hindi ko magawang magselos.

"He's too slow. Baka mamaya maunahan ko na." biro nya pa. Nagkibit balikat na lang ako sa sinabi nya. I know he's not serious when he said those.

The next day, parang gan'on pa din ang nangyari. Asher keeps on texting me pero hindi ako nagrereply. Ayoko syang kausapin. Bahala sya sa buhay nya.

I just waited for Draven in the carpark. He told me na may pupuntahan kami pero hindi nya naman iyon sinabi kung saan.

"You're not smiling again. Forget him for a while, Remy. You'll enjoy this day I promise." he winked. Siguro nga tama sya. Walang mangyayari sa buhay ko kung patuloy kong iisipin si Asher.

Medyo malayo ang binyahe namin ni Draven pero hindi naman hassle kasi hindi traffic. He brought me to a place na sobrang familiar sa akin.

It's the place where she left me. At the same time, it's also the place where my parents found me. It feels like home being here again in this orphanage.

"Why are you crying? Tell me what's bothering your mind, Remy." umiling ako sa sinabi ni Draven at pinunasan yung luha ko. I wonder if its just a pure co-incidence that he brought me here. Ngayon lang ulit ako nakapunta dito.

"B-bakit pala tayo pumunta dito?" tanong ko.

"Let's just say na malapit ang loob ko sa mga bata dito. I'm always going here every month, Remy." he replied. Hindi na ako nakapag antay pa na pumasok sa loob. Sinalubong kami ni Mother Tessa. Hindi ko alam kung natatandaan nya pa ako since mahigit siyam taon na din kaming hindi nagkita.

"Kelsey, anak. Ikaw na ba 'yan?" salubong nya sa akin bago ako niyakap.

"N-naaalala nyo pa po ako?" tanong ko. I was eight years old ng ampunin ako nina mommy. I will never forget her since sya yung tumayong magulang sa akin dito sa ampunan.

"Aba'y oo naman. Hindi ko malilimutan kung gaano katigas ang ulo mo noon, anak." pabirong wika niya. Maya maya ay tumingin naman sya sa kasama kong si Draven.

"Kung buhay pa siguro si Phillip paniguradong matutuwa iyon na dumating ka ulit dito ngayon, iho." wika ni Mother tessa. I never expect that Draven is like this. Hindi ko inakala na malapit pala ang puso nya sa pagtulong sa mga bata.

I miss being here. It's not that I'm not happy with the life I have now but because of this feeling when you went back to the place where you started. Maya maya pa ay sinalubong ng mga bata si Draven. They are very happy seeing him here habang ako ay nandito pa din sa tabi ni mother Tessa.

"Ang liit ng mundo para maging kaibigan mo ang mabait na batang iyon. Sana lahat ng kabataan ngayon ay tulad nyo na hindi pa din mawawala sa puso ang pagtulong." wika nya habang hindi pa din natatanggal ang tingin kay Draven. I look at him and how he put smiles on their faces.

Nilapitan ko sila. I want them to know that I also feel what they are suffering now at their young age. Alam ko din yung pakiramdam na maiwan ng sariling ina. Seeing these kids now, I don't know how they still manage to smile despite the painful reality.

"This is ate Kelsey. She's cute right?" Draven asked. Nagsilapitan naman yung mga bata sa akin. Umupo ako para maging kapantay ko sila.

"Hi. What's your name?" maraming mga bata dito pero may isa talagang nakaagaw ng atensyon ko. She's a young girl with pale skin and the wig that she's wearing serves as her hair. When I asked mother tessa about it, she told me that she had a blood cancer. My heart slowly breaks into pieces hearing that. It's not because of pity, sympathy or what but because of her captivating smile without minding her condition compared to the others here. She's very cheerful as if she's also normal like the others.

"Lea po ate." sagot nya.

I asked her some questions at hindi ko maiwasang matuwa sa sagot nya.

"Malaki po ang tiwala ko kay God, ate. Alam ko po di nya ako papabayaan." she said. It's maybe one of the reason why I don't  feel so much hatred about my mother who left me here years ago. All the people here in the orphanage taught them to don't live their life in anger but to live it with a faith in God that everything happened has it's reasons. It's either a better plan or what He think that is best for us.

I can't explain how happy I am right now. Draven is playing with the other kids while on the other side, I am reading a story book with the cancer patients. Tuwang tuwa silang makarinig ng kwento na puro happy endings.

Natapos na yung araw ng magpaalam kami ni draven sa kanila. Before leaving, I told him to just wait for me inside the car because I have something to tell with mother Tessa.

"Kilala nyo po ba yung totoong nanay ko?" tanong ko. Nagbabakasakali lang ako na baka kapag nakausap ko na sya, mabubuo ko na yung sarili ko. I'm happy and contented with my parents now but I felt like there's are missing pieces. Hindi ko naman sila susumbatan kung bakit nila ako iniwan kasi alam kong may sarili silang rason. I just want to meet and thank them dahil kung wala naman sila, wala ako sa kinatatayuan ko ngayon.

"Wala akong ideya, anak. Pero sigurado ako, mahal na mahal ka ng totoo mong ina." wika nya. I know she loves me. Wala naman sigurong ina na hindi mahal ang anak. At alam ko kung gaano sya nagsisisi sa ginawa nya base sa mga sulat na ipinapadala nya sa akin. Her letters always contained her apology and how she loves me.

Nagpaalam na ako kay Mother Tessa. I look at my wristwatch. It's already 6 pm. Hindi ko na namalayan yung oras.

"Are you happy now?" Draven asked. Tumango naman ako sa tanong nya.

"Salamat." sagot ko. I just realized this day that we have a similarity. Parehong malapit ang loob namin sa mga bata.

I'm sure that Ersy is worried about me now that's why I texted her. Binuksan ko yung messages ko. Asher's last message is nung 3 pm pa. I haven't receive any from him now. Hindi naman sa umaasa ako pero baka busy na naman sya sa ibang babae kaya hindi na nya ako kinukulit.

I decided to see the latest news in Cambridge. Unang bukas pa lang ay halos sumabog na ako sa sobrang inis.  Halos madurog ko na yung cellphone ko dahil sa inupload ng page ni Frida. Seeing Laurene and Asher hugging each other makes me mad. Nakauwi na pala ang lalaking iyon tapos ito agad ang bubungad sa akin.

Why did he kissed me? Why did he acted like a jealous boyfriend to me when he already have Laurene? Hindi ko alam kung pinaglalaruan nya ba ako o may galit sya sa akin.

"Are you okay?" I heard the guy beside me spoke.

"Hindi ako nagseselos." sagot ko.

"You didn't answer my question. It's him again right?" I didn't answered him. I felt sorry for Draven. He did everything to put smile on my faces but what I'm doing is to act this way. Thinking of Asher and being a jealous girlfriend as is we're in a relationship. Ano naman kung magkayakap sila? Bakit ako magseselos? Wala naman akong karapatan.

"Do you want to go to somewhere else?" umiling ako sa tanong nya ng huminto na yung kotse dito sa may apartment namin.

"Hindi na. Thank you for this day, Draven. Medyo pagod na kasi ako." sagot ko. The truth is, ayoko lang talaga na maubos ang oras niya sa akin.

I watched his car leave before going inside. Before I was able to take my step, I saw a familiar guy staring at me. Muling umayat yung inis sa dibdib ko.

Mabilis nya akong naharangan bago pa man ako mapasok sa loob.

"Did you enjoy your date with him that's why you're not replying?" I laugh sarcastically because of what he said.

"Why are you putting the blame on me? I am not replying kasi baka makaabala pa ako sa inyo ni Laurene. Kaya pwede ba, padaanin mo na ako kasi gusto ko ng magpahinga!" galit na galit kong sigaw sa kanya. I can't understand myself why I am acting this way.

"What are you saying?" he asked acting like an innocent.

"I don't want to see you anymore. Please, leave." pagod na pagod kong wika.

"I want to know what made you mad." he added. Hindi ko na napigilan yung sarili ko na umiyak sa harap nya. I don't know that he's a kind of stupid for not knowing what he did to make me jealous.

"Please leave."

"I'm sorry." hinawakan nya yung pisngi ko pero mabilis ko iyong iniwas mula sa kanya.

"Didn't you hear what I said Asher!?Umalis ka na! I don't want to see you. Please leave! Huwag ka ng magpakita pa sa akin!" sunod sunod na sigaw ko sa kanya habang pilit na pinapahid yung mga luha ko.

He didn't say anything. I just watched his step as he made a distance away from me.

It hurts inside when I'm pushing him away but you know what hurts me the most?

It's when he gave up just easily. He didn't do everything he can to win my forgiveness. I just saw him walking away without looking back. I guess I'm very wrong when I assumed that he has feelings for me. The truth is, Laurene is the girl he like and not me.

Chapter end