Outaishihi ni Nante Naritakunai!! Chapter 185

This marks the start of volume 8 content. Updated the accordingly.

Author's note

※ Although thinly, matters related to death are presented.
I depicted it because it's necessary, however those weak with it please return to the previous page, otherwise please read understanding that.

"Are you happy right now?"
"Yeah, very"

Seeing her smile as she said that, my breath was taken away.
I had never been able to make her smile.
I had no idea she could make such a face until now.
I understood my complete defeat from the smile that showed she's happy from the bottom of her heart.
Although I was dumbfounded, before I noticed words escaped me.

"So you… could smile like that"

The door closed with a bang.
I put a hand to my forehead, and crouched in place. While leaning on the door, I looked up at the sky.

I'd known, however I feel like it was flaunted at me.
Why she chose His Highness Friedrich.
After all, until now I'd not once seen her make such a happily smiling face.
Her face when she looked at me had always contained sadness.

To only notice that this late――――.

"Sakura…"

Just by muttering that name, everything that happened until now came up like I was looking at a revolving lantern.
When I met her, and we started dating.
When I hurt her by not noticing my feelings and she chose to say goodbye.
When I realized I love her over two years after we'd broken up.
When, having been told her address by the friend who'd made me notice that, I visited her house to apologize and convey that I still love her.
And――――.
The undeniable truth that when I visited her she was already dead――――.

Lying in the coffin, Sakura had a very calm expression.
I couldn't accept the current situation at all, still I reached out my trembling hand.
Her cheek was cold to touch, and once soft, now it was completely stiff.

"Aa… Aaaaaa"

My tears overflowed endlessly.
I can't believe it. I don't want to believe it.
Here is her - Sakura's empty shell.
She died. Thinking that I hadn't made it in time, I was overcome by the feeling that I wanted to die with her.

"―――― The day before yesterday, she was attacked by a slasher"
"I've heard the culprit was caught… But it was indiscriminate, wasn't it? I feel sorry she got dragged into it"

I heard whispers of her friends.
She died in the evening the day before yesterday.
A little while after I heard about her location from my friend.

If at that time I had immediately gone to meet her, I might have been able to save her.
When I thought so, only regret swirled in my chest.
Why, why didn't I go there immediately.
I felt like beating to death the me from the day before yesterday. If I hadn't carelessly drunk with my friend at a bar, perhaps I could've made it in time.
Once the wake ended, I unsteadily went outside.
It doesn't feel like reality.
That Sakura is no longer in this world――――.

The whole time I hadn't noticed my feelings.
The day when we somehow naturally began dating with Sakura's confession as a trigger.
Everything started from there.
I was driven by the feeling of true happiness that I pretended not to notice.
And so a year and a half passed…
Stuck with the impression that I couldn't like somebody that way, during that time I kept unconsciously hurting her.
I didn't tell her that I love her even once.
I always prioritized myself and only read books, and didn't pay her enough attention.
I'd never given her anything like a gift.
Having reached the limit of her patience, Sakura said goodbye, but even then I was too stupid to notice and couldn't chase after her… After over two years had passed, in the evening the day before yesterday I was finally able to face my feelings thanks to my friend who lost his temper.
And then I understood――――.
Ever since I saw her for the first time, all this time until now.
The hard truth that I still love Sakura.

That's why I went to meet her.
I thought that I wouldn't fail or make a mistake this time.
I intended to sincerely apologize to her, convey my love, and then communicate it any number of times until she forgave me.
―――― I was too late for anything.
Because, she's not in this world anymore.
She, who I should convey my love to, doesn't exist in this world anymore.

"Sakura… Sakura…"

My tears wouldn't stop.
Why, her? What the hell did she do.
A feeling of wanting to kill the slasher man with my own hands welled up.
However, I immediately realized it would be meaningless. Even if I did that, she won't come back.
That's right. She went to a place forever outside my reach.

"Why? … I wanted to apologize… I wanted to tell you I love you"

I entered a narrow alley, and with all my strength hit a concrete wall.
My hand went numb, but I couldn't care less about that.
The pain in my heart of losing Sakura was much bigger.

"Sakura… I love you, Sakura… If you are going, I wish you had taken me with you…"

My tears wouldn't stop.
Before I noticed it started raining. It seems the area grew darker.
A sudden thunderstorm. I wonder if it's a shower. A strong wind rolled up my coat, and an even stronger squall drenched my clothes with rain. I heard a lightning strike nearby. My body trembled with a start at the loud paralyzing sound.
It felt just like I was being condemned.
You were a fool, I felt like the heavens were laughing at me.
―――― I now understand that without needing it pointed out.

"Haha… Hahaha…"

I laughed with a stiff, dry voice. Even then, my tears wouldn't stop.
But, thanks to the heavy rain, nobody could notice me crying. That's my only salvation.
Tightly closing my eyes, I once again drove my fist into the concrete wall.
Roughly at the same time, an intense lighting that I could see with my eyes closed struck, and in the same moment I heard a clap of thunder. Close.
I'd rather it fell on myself. When I thought so.

"Eh…"

―――― Suddenly.
A soft, warm wind blew.
At the same time, I felt a smell of greenery. Before I noticed, the rain stopped. I can't hear thunders. While surprised by the smell impossible in the middle of the city and the gentle wind, I opened my eyes.

"Ha…?"

I don't understand what happened to me. The location I was standing at was the middle of a prairie.
It's all green, there's nothing around. No, at a distance I could see a village with tents scattered around, but that's all.
… There are no buildings to be seen.
Even the concrete wall I'd been punching disappeared before I noticed.

"Wha… what is it?"

I took an unsure step forward, and tripped over a pebble. Having lost my balance, just like that I collapsed into the greenery. What I feel is unmistakably the characteristic grassy smell of greenery.
Just like that I looked up at the sky. The excessive radiance made me narrow my eyes. The wake finished late at night. It shouldn't be so bright.
I thought so, but.

"The moon… is red?"

Judging from the brightness, it's still daytime. And yet, right beside the sun a red moon was shining as if to assert its existence.

"… Where is it"

I unconsciously muttered. My voice was stiff. After all, on Earth a bright red moon during daytime is impossible.
I didn't just go to a different place. It's completely different, I seem to have come to a completely different world.
I first thought it may be a dream, but I immediately denied it.
Because, the pain I felt when I fell over just now was real.
There's no sign that somebody kidnapped me… and brought me to a different place. Besides, it's strange that I immediately appeared in an empty place. Moreover, I don't know why I would expressly be chosen.

―――― A coincidence. I wonder if this is something like the widely known phenomenon of being spirited away.

As I brushed off the grass and stood up, I recalled the legends and folk tales that remain all over the country.
One day, people suddenly disappear.
It's said they aren't kidnapped, neither do they die or go missing - but that they go astray to a completely different place.
Some of them seem to have come back, but――――.

"… At any rate, first of all I must understand the current situation"

It's true that I'm still confused, but I can't afford being absentminded.
It's still fine since it's daytime, but in such a place at night… if I was attacked by a carnivore, I couldn't offer any resistance.
Besides, it'll probably get cold at night. With my clothes drenched by the rain before, it may prove fatal to me.
For now, I decided to walk towards the village I'd seen at first.
I'd be grateful if I could obtain some information and be given a lodging for the night.
Thinking so, I took a step forward in this unfamiliar place.

Chapter end