Outaishihi ni Nante Naritakunai!! Chapter 175

"Lidi?"

When I entered the office, Brother called out to me from inside.
Before answering, I surveyed the room.
… Freed isn't there.

"Good day, Older Brother… Where's Freed?"

Did he go for an inspection somewhere, or is he at the Chivalric Order's swordsmanship practice.
I haven't heard of him having a break around this time.
When I asked Brother questioningly, he stood up from his desk and while puzzled came here.

"Have you passed each other? Freed just went back to his room"
"Huh? Why?"

Not understanding why he'd do that, I asked Brother.
In a voice that for some reason sounded like he was blaming me, Brother said.

"He was making an awful face… I thought he simply got in a quarrel with you… Was I wrong?"
"We didn't quarrel"

I'm aware Freed's state has been strange recently, but we didn't quarrel.
And even if I say strange… I only haven't been embraced for a few days, and the frequency of physical contact has been reduced, that's all.
However, there's no way I can tell that to Brother.
At my answer, Brother tilted his head.

"Eh… How strange… I thought there couldn't be a reason for him being down aside from you…"
"No idea… Anyway, Freed went back to his room, right? Then I'll also be going back"
"Nn? Yeah, well if it's you he'll spring back. Please comfort him well"
"To say comfort…"

When I frowned at the implication behind Brother's words, he showed an unpleasant grin.

"I'm saying to comfort him with your body as always"
"… Thank you for your usual insensitiveness. Shitty brother"
"Oops, you always use this hand… Ouuuuch!!"

Predicting my swing Brother got on guard, but having read that I stepped on Brother's foot without holding back in the slightest.
Brother, who got caught completely off guard, jumped up from pain.

"Lidi! Bastard! How dare you step on my foot with all your strength!"
"Hmph, it's because Older Brother's only saying stupid things"
"That ain't how you use your feet… You, really, if not for Freed you'd never find somebody to receive you as a bride!"
"Shut up already. Isn't it fine. I have Freed to receive me"

Rather, I feel like everybody has been pushing me to it. Well, I don't particularly mind this late… Because I love him.

"Well, if it's him, no matter what you do he'll call it cute… Aah, I don't have time to talk like this"
"Nn?"

Brother continued while returning to his desk.

"I said it before, right? Freed went back to his room. Because of that I'm busy. Quickly go back and see how Freed is doing. If you didn't quarrel, he might be in a really bad condition…"
"Y, yup. Got it"

Hearing he might be unwell, my face tightened.
It'd be awful if he had a cold. Certainly, I better hurry up and go back.

"Sorry, I'm going then"
"Yeah, please take care of Freed. If he's unwell, call for the court physician. And, put him to bed, even if forcibly"

Brother who said that also looked slightly tired. It might be natural, since he took over Freed's work.

"Got it… Older Brother too, don't overdo it. It'd be meaningless if you collapsed"

I was worried quite seriously, but Brother looked back and meaningfully smiled.

"Idiooot, who are you telling that to. There's no way I'd be so serious. You only need to worry about Freed"

I breathed a sigh as Brother pointlessly showed off. Brother is always befuddling others like this.

"… I'll leave it at that. Then, Older Brother"
"At that… Really, you ain't cute. What has the world come to that this is the Crown Princess and the future Queen"

At Brother's words, I stopped walking towards the door.

"I take offense at the first half, but I agree with the second. I never would have thought it would come to this"
"I bet. Since it was you, I thought you could somehow escape from it"
"Actually, me too"

I deeply nodded in agreement.
I feel nostalgic that just a few months ago I was sure I could manage somehow. At that time, I absolutely didn't think I'd get perfectly caught like this.
Looking at each other, we wryly smiled.

"Aah, I wasted enough time. This pointless talk is over. Hurry up and go back"
"Yup"

Rushed by my Brother waving his hand, this time I left the office.

"Freed?"

Having parted from the royal guards in front of the room, I went in. Inside was still as death, looking around I couldn't see anybody.
There's no figure of a person on the sofa, and I can't hear anything.
It's evening, and though the sun hasn't yet set, the slightly dark room isn't lit. I once again looked around the surroundings. After all, he isn't here.
But, Brother said Freed had returned to his room, so if he isn't here, he may be in the bedroom.
Recalling Brother saying he might be unwell, I hurried towards the adjoining bedroom.

"Eh… Lidi?"

As soon as I set food into the bedroom, my eyes met with his as he listlessly sat on the bed.
Seeing Freed's pale complexion as he looked at me with surprise, I became flustered that he really is unwell.

"Freed? Are you okay? Should I call the court physician?"
"I'm alright. You don't have to worry"
"But…"
"Nothing's wrong… Really, don't worry"

I tried rushing over to him, but Freed's voice stopped me.
His voice coldly rejected me. Having never heard such a voice from him, I solidified from surprise.

"Eh, F… Freed…?"
"Sorry. My bad, but could you not get closer"
"Eh…"

His words clearly rejected me. Not knowing what had happened, I just stared at Freed.
He averted his eyes from me. My chest hurt terribly from his obvious avoidance.
Slightly hanging his head, Freed quietly spun words.

"You're early… I thought you'd be with him a little longer"

It took me a few seconds to realize that by him he meant Sion.

"Eh… No, err, it wasn't anything important, besides I wanted to talk with Freed…"

So I came here, but before I could say that Freed interrupted my words.

"I know"
"Eh"

I blinked my eyes. Did Freed just say that he knows.
But, what? What does Freed mean by he knows.
That I want to confess? No, can't be.
Without waiting for my response, Freed continued on his own.

"… After meeting Sion, Lidi's heart has never been here. So it's that kind of thing, right?"
"That kind of thing… Say what?"

My eyes went round at the words beyond my expectations.
When I asked him back not understanding what he's saying, Freed showed a self-depreciating smile.

"I know Lidi has been troubled lately…. You chose Sion, not me… You want to say that, right?"
"Ha… Why? Eh?"

Told something beyond my expectations again, my voice squeezed.
Me? Choosing Sion?
What the hell is with that. Still, going by Freed's words, it looks like it got exposed that I've been troubled for these past few days.
I've been worrying whether to talk about my past life with Freed and how to explain the tactician's matter.
And, apparently he misunderstood me uncharacteristically worrying.

"So you even confessed to Sion? And he accepted? Isn't it good. So I should say, but it's simply impossible for me"
"No… wrong"

… Perhaps, he didn't embrace me for these past few days out of that anxiety?
Thinking I might have chosen Sion, he didn't touch me?

I have truly no idea what led him to the conclusion that I love Sion, but having finally realized why Freed hadn't been laying hands on me, I denied in a fluster.

"T, that's wrong! Nothing like that happened! I don't see Sion in that way!"
"Then, why? It's the truth Lidi's been worried all this time, right? I'm always only watching Lidi. I understand that much"
"It's different!"
"… You don't have to hide it"
"Freed!"

I raised my voice in denial, but Freed didn't budge.
Turning his face further away from me, he said.

"Sorry, but could you leave me alone for now. I can't sort out my feelings. I don't think we'll reach an understanding, anyway I want to be left alone for a while"

I was completely overwhelmed by the words that refused me.
Why? Why has it turned out like this?
Because I've kept silent all this time?
And that caused such an incomprehensible misunderstanding?

I simply stood stock still in shock. But, in the next moment, for some reason an angry feeling boiled up. Even if I know it's originally my fault, my emotions welled up.

… I thought he'd be happy.
Having finally realized, I hurried back thinking of confessing!
Why did this have to happen!!

The welling-up anger overflowed just like that.
I screamed at Freed with all my strength.
With that shout I thrust my feelings at him.

"Idiot idiot idiot!! Freed, you idiot!!"

Author's note

Thank you very much.
It's Tsukigami who always cuts off at such spots (`・д・´)キリッ

Chapter end