Outaishihi ni Nante Naritakunai!! Chapter 150

For the first time in a while I got an opportunity to walk alongside her.
It feels like she who's walking next to me has become more beautiful than before.
Receiving royal treatment in the Royal Palace and loved by His Highness, she becomes more beautiful with each day.
She's getting farther and farther out of my reach.

Taking care that she doesn't notice, I shifted my gaze to her hand.
A brand new golden ring was put on her hand.
The golden ring with dedicated craftsmanship. Fitted in the center is a jewel with the same blue color as His Highness's eyes.
Even if I hate it, the contrast of gold and blue reminded me of the colors of His Highness's eyes and hair.

'Show off'

Alex said it jokingly, but I think that it's exactly like that.
It clearly demonstrates she's his, I was shocked speechless how happy Lidi seems to be to wear it.
I know she hardly ever uses accessories.
I also know that even if she received some, they'd end up stowed away in a jewelry box.
That's exactly why I was surprised by her behavior.
With pleasure she's wearing the ring adorned with plenty of jewels that would be nothing but a nuisance to her.
Today's dress beautifully shows her shoulder line. That too is natural.
On her chest the King's Flower is shining.
Immediately I understood that His Highness probably had such a dress arranged.
The King's Flower and the ring.
With those two combined, I can't help but feel His Highness's presence behind her.
Moreover, the nape of her neck. Inadvertently I can momentarily see it.
Blood marks are scattered in the place she's not aware of in the least.
At a glance you can tell by them she's loved by His Highness every night, even though I wanted to avert my eyes I couldn't.
Unwillingly I followed her with my eyes.
You can see His Highness's deep attachment to her.
I can't speak for others, but it makes me want to laugh.
―――― Because, I know I'd do the same in his position.

"Actually, I'm thinking of making a new dish for Freed"

Lidi has been talking about nothing but His Highness from some time ago.
Being told that the inspection was fun, and so as promised she's thinking of a dinner menu, I put my best effort in nodding without saying anything.
My chest hurts terribly, it feels like it's going to burst open. Rather, I thought it might even be a relief if it does burst open.

"I see…"
"Nn, but curry is alright too, there'll be no problem if I make it on the spicy side. I wonder if I should put my heart into Chinese food rather than Japanese. Ah, I want to make gyouza!!"
"Gyohzah?"

I muttered another word of hers I didn't understand.
She, whose hobby is cooking, has a diverse repertoire.
She creates one new dish after another, it seems she's unaware, but slowly but steadily she's starting to gain widespread recognition.
Lidi wrapped even the Royal Palace kitchen around her finger.
She's unrivaled now that she's in the environment where every ingredient she wishes for is gathered. From now on she'll create many dishes too.
… Probably, for His Highness.

"Ts…"

Pain once again ran through my chest.
Unconsciously I clutched my chest that sharply hurt like something pierced it.
When she managed the restaurant in secret, I was always next to her.
Curry.
The secret between just me and her.
Even that has been snatched away.
The days I volunteered to escort her, as she firmly believed she was keeping it a secret from her family, were fun.
I was also happy to be mistaken as her lover, I thought that was fine.
I couldn't convey my feelings, even so I was happy.
But, I lost even that role.
Probably she'll do it together with His Highness from now on.
After that, so that we can spend even a little time together like this, there's nothing but to create opportunities.

"His Highness… is fortunate"
"I wonder. You think so?"

She's cute as she bashfully smile.
How good would it be if she showed that face because of me.
She's both hateful and cute as she smiles thinking of His Highness, I have no idea what I should do.

"Aah… I'm jealous"

Unconsciously my true feelings flew out.
Damn it, I panicked, but after absentmindedly opening her eyes wide, she smiled.

"Don't worry, I'll let Will eat my new work too. You've always been eating my cooking since I made daifuku. I'm happy you like my cooking"
"Ah… yeah"

… Different. It's different.
Unable to correct Lidi as she splendidly misunderstood that I'd been talking about food, I hung my head.
I'm not jealous of her cooking.
I'm jealous of His Highness who's loved by you.
I'm jealous of His Highness who can monopolize your cute smile.
I wish I could say it, but after all nothing came out of my mouth.
My eyes grew hot. I desperately covered up the gradually welling-up sensation.

"Aah, Will, the kitchen isn't that way. This way"
"Eh… Aah, sorry"

Suddenly, Lidi caught my arm.
I was startled by the feel of her hand.
My head felt like it'd boil over for an instant.
Lidi's hand holding my arm was soft, I felt her heat gradually transmitted from it.
Lidi worriedly looked up at me who was like this.

"Are you okay? Are you tired? Since a while ago you've been looking absentminded"
"… No problem"

When I shook my head to convey that I'm fine, she released my arm with a suspicious expression.
Instinctively I wanted to cling to the warmth that separated from me.

More, I want you to touch me. More, come closer.
More, more.

At that moment, I felt a familiar scent from her.
I grew pale as I understood that it's obviously a men's fragrance.
I know its owner.
It's His Highness's long-favorite fragrance.
It coming from her means they're together so much she's been permeated by his smell.
Completely ignorant of me who solidified from shock, she spoke in astonishment.

"Will, actually you don't know where the kitchen is, right? Then you didn't have to force yourself to escort me. It wouldn't be funny if the Magician Division Commander collapsed from overwork"
"I'm fine"

Please. Don't say such unkind words.
No matter how shocked I am, I still want to stay on your side.
Don't take the precious time away from me even more.
At least let me enjoy us walking together.
I don't wish for anything more.

"Are you sleeping properly? Are you eating nutritious things?"
"Yeah"
"I wonder about that"

When I nodded, happy that her words mean she worries about me, Lidi looked like she pondered for a moment, and having prefixed with In that case, made a proposal.

"If you're okay with me, should I make something to raise your energy? In the end you look tired… Or I wonder if it's not my problem. There are brilliant cooks in Will's house too"
"… Wha"

I couldn't hide my surprise at the unexpected proposal.
It's only natural, I thought I'd have no chance to eat her home cooking again.
Still, I had no choice but to refuse. Because, I haven't been going home recently.
Even if it was delivered, I wouldn't be there.

"… Sorry. Actually, I haven't gone back to the ducal residence recently… I'm staying here all the time"

That's why, I'm sorry, I tried continuing when she said.

"What? The Magician Division Commander is so busy? So that's why you have a tired face. But, you have to eat properly. Health comes first. Hm… After all, I'll make it. Anyhow, Will, since it's you, you aren't eating decently, are you. I'll make it and deliver it!"
"No… Then His Highness…"

Won't forgive me, is what I thought.

Isn't this much fine, the devil whispered in my ear.
You've been enduring all this time. It's fine to at least get a side benefit.

Without noticing me fall silent, Lidi continued the talk.
I understand her face is serious and she seriously worried about me.
And yet I'm thinking something so foul.
It makes me want to cry that I'm dirtying her pure consideration for me with my foul feelings.

"Looking closely, I also have a feeling you're thin. Because I'm much obliged to Will, I'll do my best. Should I deliver it to Will's office?"
"…"
"Will?"
"Ah, yeah"

When I vaguely nodded, Lidi showed a relieved face.

"It's work so perhaps it can't be helped, but you can't overdo it. Everybody is worried"
"I'm alright"
"Ah! I can see dark circles under your eyes. Are you really sleeping?"
"Yeah… It's probably because I read too many books"
"I see, then it's fine…"

It's a lie. I'm not sleeping. If I sleep, I remember her. I dream of her.
They're dreams filled with regret of what I could have done differently, I don't want to see them.

"… We've arrived at the kitchen"

When I pointed at the kitchen to gloss over the subject, Lidi turned her face that way.

"Eh, ah, it's true. See you, Will. Thanks for escorting me! I'll make something good right away!"

Before I could reply, Lidi ran away with the pitter-patter.
When she turned to me and vigorously waved her hand, I could only respond by raising my hand.
To get surrounded in the twinkling of an eye by the cooks who had grown tired of waiting, she is the rightful ruler of the kitchen.
Having confirmed that, I turned on my heel.
… My mind was in disarray.
While returning to the tower where Alex is waiting, I muttered in penitence.
I could only do that.

"… I apologize, Your Highness"

… Still, please allow this much.
I know Lidi is clad in your scent and has feelings for you.
That's why, I'm not thinking of stealing Lidi from you.
It's fine if she's happy.
However, at least this much.
Please allow me to eat her home cooking.

… I had a passing thought about whether I'd allow it if I were His Highness, and with all my heart regretted thinking that it was okay.

Chapter end