Outaishihi ni Nante Naritakunai!! Chapter 226

"Haa…"

Holding the bundle in my hands, I sighed.
It's actually not that heavy, but it weighs heavily on my heart.

―― It's a matter from just before.
I was called to Father's office. Just like many ministers and commanders, Father who is the Foreign Minister has an office for his exclusive use.
To be honest I didn't want to talk to him, but told it's an important story I couldn't not go. If it's about national politics I can't ignore it as the Magician Division Commander.

"…Esteemed Father, I have come"

Granted permission to enter I went inside Father's office while enduring a hazy feeling. Inside there's no one except Father, at a glance I understood he cleared it of people. It seems it wasn't a lie than it's an important talk.
I was relieved by that.
I spoke, wanting to quickly finish the talk.

"Then Esteemed Father, just what is that important talk…"
"Glenn's marriage talks were broken off"
"Ha?"

Such were the words Father told me all of a sudden.
For a moment I didn't understand what was being said, then when I did I thought, "Ah, I see".
Father doesn't know, but it's a famous story among us childhood friends that there's a certain woman my little brother has always had feelings for. I understand his womanizing tendencies are his reaction to the unfulfilled love. Of course, it's not something praiseworthy.
But, I know the pain of an unrequited love. I can't indiscriminately condemn his actions… Still, I do sometimes criticize them to vent my anger.
Glenn understands more than enough that he can't marry that woman.
He understand it much better than me that eventually he will have to take as a wife a woman other than the one he loves.
So when I heard of his matchmaking a while ago, I only wondered if that time had come.
I don't feel pity for him. Because, sooner or later I will have no choice but to follow the same path.
Upon hearing that Glenn's marriage talks were broken off I asked Father.

"It's unthinkable, but did Glenn refuse?"
"He didn't. It was the other party. She said she couldn't marry Glenn no matter what, and Glenn too accepted that"
"… Is that so"
"I thought it was going well. But it didn't go as expected"

Father didn't break his discontent expression.

"We were in a superior position. I tried questioning him for the reason, but that Glenn persisted that it's his fault. It didn't seem like a lie… I decided to lay down my arms"
"So that happened"

I'm probably overlapping my little brother with myself.
I feel extremely relieved that my little brother's time limit has been extended.
… I'm the worst.
While I bit my lips to suppress my feelings from growing dark, Father said.

"Glenn has countless marriage proposals. There's no need to be persistent"
"…"

Father turned his eyes to the heap of files placed on the desk. I got a bad premonition.
Just as I'd thought, Father easily said.

"Glenn's new marriage candidate. Something like this repeating would shame Pellegrini house. As an older brother, look over them once and recommend a few names"
"Wha… Me?"
"They need to be carefully examined. You wouldn't want your younger brother to be talked about behind his back, right"
"T, that is true, but…"

I grimaced at Father's words to choose my little brother's marriage talks partners.
Father must've noticed my displeased face. He said.

"Don't think I'm only talking about Glenn. More than half of those files are for you. White files are Glenn's, Will, the red ones are prepared for you. Of course, look over them"
"Esteemed Father!"
"Honestly, I'm not in a hurry about Glenn. Who I'm worried about is you, Will"

Father glared at my face.

"You're so annoying I conceded that anybody is fine, and yet you don't even try to choose a partner. Do you understand. You are Pellegrini ducal house's heir. Like this I can't retire no matter how much time passes"
"… I don't particularly desire the court rank. I hope Esteemed Father never retires"

These were my true feelings, but Father seemed to be displeased by my answer. He scowled.

"His Highness Friedrich too is getting married. Don't think you can remain an unmarried man forever"
"…"
"Don't go too far with obstinacy. You haven't returned to the mansions recently… Both Glenn and you, why not think of following His Highness's example a little and obediently marry"

… His Highness can marry a person he loves――!

Such words appeared in my throat.
I desperately swallowed them.
His Highness and I are different.
Certainly, His Highness may have resigned himself to the marriage at first. But, the fiancée he obtained as a result has become His Highness first love. Not only that, His Highness's love has even been fulfilled.
Wanting to make her his both in name and reality, His Highness is eager to marry as soon as possible, but I perfectly understand him.
If the partner was my beloved person, I too would want to marry her as soon as she became an adult.
However, ironically the person I love is the person His Highness loves… And that person - Lidi took his hand without hesitation.
The lovely bashful faces she's been showing particularly often recently tell of how happy she is more than anything.
The gaze she directs at His Highness is always sweet, His Highness too is very delighted to receive it.
Soldiers and court ladies all bless them.
Their happiness is transmitted through their attitude and the aura they give off. Everybody prays for that happiness to continue. Everybody looks forward to the wedding. They eagerly await the day she becomes a mother and becomes His Highness's Queen.
… Only I can't honestly be happy.

"Will! Answer. Honestly… Well, you don't have to say it immediately. Everybody is busy preparing for His Highness's marriage. Let's talk in detail after that settles down"
"… I do not feel like doing it"

Me marrying once His Highness's wedding finishes?
Am I supposed to welcome a woman I don't desire right after seeing His Highness at the height of his happiness after obtaining Lidi.
I absolutely don't want that.

"Will, you are too selfish"

I got irritated by Father's words. Selfish? Who is being selfish here?
Isn't that Father for continuing to ignore my wish.
I understood the feelings I suppressed within swelled up.

"If you want me to marry so much, I wish you had allowed me when I had desired to"
"What was that?"
"Did I not appeal many times that I want to marry her, Lidi! However, Esteemed Father persisted that I cannot. There was no problem with either social status or age difference! Just a single one, that Esteemed Father wasn't pleased with it!"
"Will!"

Father shouted, but that didn't matter.

"I wanted her. I desired her alone. Had you granted that, I would've been satisfied!"
"Princess Lidiana received the King's Flower and is set to become His Highness's princess consort. Even before the wedding she's already recognized as a member of royalty in the Royal Castle. Don't say discourteous things like you want her"
"That's why I had wanted her as my wife before that happened!"
"Will!"

Father raised his voice again.
But I won't yield. I don't want to yield.
While scowling, I said to Father.

"Anyway, I do not want to have that conversation. I was told it's an important talk, but no matter how I look at it, it's absurd"
"Absurd?"
"Yeah, it's absurd. My answer will always be no"
"Do you not realize you are the heir to a ducal house"
"… Glenn can succeed it. I won't insist on the status of a duke. I'm fine with being the Magician Division Commander and the fact I'm His Highness's close aide"
"… Is that Princess so good"

Dad groaned those words.
Of course she is. I've always been telling Father that.

"I should have told you. I don't want anybody but her… My feeling will not change"
"Are you saying you want to steal His Highness's princess consort"
"No way"

I objected to Father's words.

"She does not have feelings for me. She can only see His Highness. Moreover, His Highness too truly loves her. What meaning would there be in me acting in such a situation? I want Lidi to be happy. If she is happy with His Highness, I… will bless them, nothing more"

Most importantly, on her chest is the King's Flower. It's already settled she will be joined with His Highness in marriage.
During past few months I've been made to realize that, so much I hate it.

"… Do you mean to say you will remain unmarried for the whole life. I can't allow it. Stop pointlessly struggling"
"… Something like what I will do. My current emotions are too much for me, I cannot possibly see what will happen in the future"

When I told so with self-derision, Father let out a large breath.

"… It seems we both need the time to calm down. Anyway, take these files. Even leaving you aside, I want to get at least Glenn engaged"
"… I understand"

Father must still have things to say to me. But, I know we won't reach an agreement and it's not the place for such a drawn-out talk.
Because I didn't want to start over despite withdrawing, I only reluctantly received the files.

Chapter end