NHK ni Youkoso! Vol 1 Chapter 7

Chapter 07

Part One

it was that kind of summer. Before I knew it, I had been locked in a kind

"Help me!" Nothing—not love, dreams, hope, effort, friendship, or

At least Yamazaki had some opinions about his future. Even though

some sort of ambition. He'd been thinking about his family's business

"I'll get out of this shitty countryside and make a name for myself in

talent! I may not know what kind of talent, but I have it!"

The Revolving Rock

fate would force me to return to the countryside, as well. The

roads made unnecessarily wide by local politicians, and only one

awful, crappy countryside. I contemplated this destination with heartfelt

I shouted in a beautifully manly way, too. "Waaaahhh! It's terrible,

though, something certainly was terrible. In fact, so many terrible things

For one thing, my allowance from home finally stopped. Even so, for

worn down, I still couldn't go outside. My title as a "high-level

expenses at the least, or else I might be chased out of my apartment as

With my student credit card, I brashly borrowed money. Following

computer, kotatsu, and bed to a secondhand shop near my house. I also

managed to raise enough money to live on, I'd bought myself a little

Slightly more secure, boredom became the main problem. Both

attention. "What should I do? I have nothing to do."

He seemed to be at the end of his rope. Lying face down on his 

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desperate a position as you, Satou—yet for some reason, I can't calm

rejuvenating way, if possible."

me. "Speaking of escaping, that's what people do in their fleering youth,

"Yeah."

I shook Yamazaki's shoulders back and forth. "That's right, rock and

Yamazaki stood up, swinging his fist about wildly and bellowing

Jerry Lee Lewis."

"He's the lolicon rocker who, defying social convention, married his

world. His way of life was truly anti-establishment! Great Balls of Fire!"

violence." If we steered our lives in that direction, we might be able to

that was our hope, and we clung to it.

The Revolving Rock

Sex

minors under 18," erotic games! Even now, Yamazaki kept working on

was lonely. That was all I knew. I had no idea why, but it made me want

Drugs

serious drugs.

I hung my head. "What else can I do? There's no way I could buy

"Pathetic. That's so lame."

Finally, Yamazaki and I ended up fighting in my six-mat, one room

fighting stances. I imitated Bruce Lee, whom I had recently seen on TV.

Welcome to the N.H.K.

Then, we tried to beat up each other. As soon as we started, though,

possible. The pain brought tears to my eyes.

"Don't say that."

the park?"

fun of them just because they're legal. They still work pretty well. We'll

Actually, the drugs did work. In fact, the trip was so bad, I thought I

I thought that maybe I should die.

However, I didn't die.

I did technically, have plans to meet someone. As evening fell and all

stomach with a late dinner. When it was dark, I set off toward the

I sat on a bench and looked up at the moon and stars in the sky. A

reflection of streetlights.

The Revolving Rock

Misaki materialized, there in the park.

noticing me, she energetically jumped off. The black cat crept over to

struggle.

food out of the bag on her back. Apparently, she'd been feeding the cat

"What's great about them?"

alone."

appropriately. "Cats don't really understand gratitude."

"It'll forget all about you soon, Misaki. Investing in cat food is such a

"As long as I give the cat what it wants, it'll be fine. She'll remember

gently stroked the cat's back as it gobbled down the food. When it

We sat down on the bench. Misaki took her "secret notebook" out of

hikikomori life began.

words had been more than strange, so I totally thought it was some kind 

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"You're late. It says in the contract that you'll come after eating

"I just ate dinner—"

How the hell should I know that?! I wanted to yell, bur I held it back.

your first 'escaping hikikomori life' counseling session now, okay? Here,

I moved next to her on the bench, as instructed. Misaki sat beside

The park at night. . . no one else was there. What in the world was

put down the huge bag she carried and started rummaging around inside

Whispering something like, "Oh, here it is, here it is," she pulled out

written in black marker.

"A secret notebook."

"Uh. . . it's a secret notebook." Misaki opened the secret notebook

now?"

voice was serious, though. Not understanding what was going on, I

The Revolving Rock

Misaki started her lecture. "Um. . . I'll begin with an outline of the

you know, Satou? Hm? You don't? That's what I thought. You dropped

question, Satou. I know. I'm smart, after all. I'm studying for my GED

She laughed a little more before she continued, "According to the

are caused by an inability to conform to one's environment. Basically,

arise."

many different ways to get along with the world. For example, take the

eight million. . . Huh? Eight million? That's a little excessive, isn't it? Is

seems they ease the suffering of quite a lot of people, like those at a

other means. For example, philosophy."

head inside the enormous bag, she finally found what she was looking

handed it to me. The title of the book was Sophie's World.

that this one book can teach you everything you need to know about

okay?" 

128

while Misaki's lecture droned on. "Um, well then, after philosophy, we

nineteenth century, after some guy named Freud thought of it. People

disappear. For instance, do you remember any dreams you had last

Satou."

ocean, and I stuck a thick sword into an apple. Also, I blasted away all

Upon hearing this, Misaki withdrew another paperback from inside

Book, You Easily Can Grasp the Depths of Your Psyche!

was searching the index when suddenly, she looked away, face

park.

"Hey! What are the results of my dream analysis? Misaki, tell me

ignored my attempts at sexual harassment.

different direction. Well then, let's start a Jungian psychoanalysis."

"As far as I can see, you're 'introverted,' and 'emotive'! You're afraid

The Revolving Rock

shadows. How terrible! To learn more, please read this book." Misaki

About Jung, Explained by Manga!

going. From Jung to Adler to Lacan. "I don't understand Lacan! I just

I was stunned that she could make this horrific pun, smiling all the

Misaki boldly changed direction. "Oh, I'm sorry for talking about all this

discussions, after all. Satou. That's okay, though. We still have

"Huh?"

I didn't say anything.

move forward, though. You're fine the way you are. You have dreams so

path. Everyone is cheering for you. As you do your best, you shine.

walk toward tomorrow together. The future is bright. We're people

Pulling Misaki's bag out of her hands, I upended it. A load books

Intelligent Living paperbacks. Quick Introduction to Psychoanalysis,

Life, The Rules for Success in Life, Murphy's Ghost, Cerebral Revolution, 

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"Hey, Misaki, do you think I'm an idiot?"

head.

understood was how hard she was trying. She really was working very

working to the best of her ability, her passion was certainly real. Of

was planning. I didn't know, but I didn't really care, either.

just a little energy through this exchange with a girl, I would be happy.

lose. Not to mention that, whatever happened, we'd part soon enough

else for another reason. Either way, I would disappear soon. Meeting

came.

trouble at all conversing privately with a girl I barely knew, despite the

the greatest amount of stress possible.

of doing anything to her. The sign at the park entrance read, "Beware of 

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hikikomori. Please, don't worry, Misaki. . .

"Nothing, nothing. More important, what's on today's special

Facing me while sitting on the bench, as usual, Misaki peered into

others."

"In general, hikikomori suck at having conversations. Because

their rooms. Tonight, I thought we could reform that part of you."

"Therefore, starting now, I will teach you wonderful conversational

Misaki started her lecture, periodically glancing at her secret

nervous. That leads to being at a loss for words, turning pale, or getting

your conversation consequently gets worse and worse. How can you

getting nervous. Given that fact, how can you avoid getting nervous?

themselves. You think your companions may make a fool out of you,

So what? I wanted to butt in, but Misaki's tone was serious.

Welcome to the N.H.K.

yourself. Having self-confidence, in reality, is a pretty difficult thing to

normal method; but I have a marvelous, revolutionary technique to

know, don't you?"

but nod. "All right, listen carefully," Misaki said in her most dignified

short, if you can't be self-confident, then just imagine the person you're

method!"

"You simply assume that the person you're conversing with is a huge

on them as much as you can. If you can do that, you should be able to

and at ease, right?

your way to avoid telling the person you're speaking to what you're

face and called you trash, or said you were the worst, or labeled you a

why I keep quiet."

criticism of me? If so, Misaki's expression remained innocent.

techniques' into practice during your daily life?" 

133

better than I am; so, even if I try to believe they're worthless, I usually

naturally. . . "

"Forget it. If I told you, it'd hurt you."

"It's nothing to worry about. Even a person like you, Satou, is useful

today. See you tomorrow"

Yamazaki was working on the game alone. Using the scenario I had half

with the hallucinogens we had bought a few days earlier, he silently

It was truly the ultimate way. However, was creating a game on

peered at his computer monitor.

that controls painful death, anxiety, evil, hell, poison, the abyss, and the

heroine's love! That is the mission of this game. The enemy is invisible,

Welcome to the N.H.K.

from behind. It's dangerous, dangerous. . . ."

Yamazaki slowly swiveled his chair. The pupils of his eyes were

dangerous smile, one that would frighten anyone.

erotic game. It's an RPG—a role playing game—and the player is the

file. If he reads it, he'll learn all kinds of important things; on top of that,

alien with cat ears. She's captured by the enemy. When I say enemy, I

make these invisible enemies visible. That's where the truth of life is

truth of the world. I realized that my mission is to spread my epiphany

I'll be able to sell a million copies. I'll become rich. So. . . uh, it's fun.

Trembling, I stepped back. When I did, Yamazaki let out a metallicsounding

elevated into an explosion of laughter. "Ha ha ha, ha ha, ha ha ha! Oh,

Yamazaki took a horrible fall off the chair, landing on all fours. He

me of horror movie zombies.

Grabbing my ankles, Yamazaki screamed, "It's so funny, so very 

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I was so very scared, I couldn't do anything, either.

I felt the same way on that point; but Yamazaki, currently in the

return to normal as quickly as possible, but he did not. Smile quivering,

Seeing that there was nothing I could do, I decided to give in. I

immediately.

Oh. . . I can't carry on. . . I'm finished?. . . It hurts. . . How pathetic. . .

It was another bad trip.

state and environment of the user; basically, the outcome depends on the

having a good time when they take the drugs, they'll be in heaven; but if

intention of escaping reality can't lead to any positive results.

been invaded by a dramatic, tangible fear. It was different from the vague

understood uncertainty.

I even may have wanted it like that. Compared to the daily uncertainties

Welcome to the N.H.K.

even may have been pleasurable.

"Dammit, if you're going to do it, then come on! I'll face you!" It

I, however, sat trembling in the corner, holding my head and pulling

"Stop! Don't come over here!" The enemy was close. Despite my

thrilling vision. My paranoia really excited me.

If it was pleasant, it also must be fun.

best trip ever! Now, I truly understood the rock-and-roll lifestyle. I

"After drugs comes violence!"

apartment and headed to the park.

wide-open park. Like young people in their fleering youth, we had to

K-1 kickboxers! If we did this, we could experience even more

The sun had long since set, and there was no sign of anyone around

embarrassing.

wearing a jersey and a T-shirt, and Yamazaki wore a sweatshirt. We 

137

Because the drugs still hadn't worn off, Yamazaki was loosetongued.

Dramas where two young, good-looking actors, arguing about youth or

with rain. 'You don't really understand love!'. . . 'I love Hitomi with all

Doing stretching exercises, I nodded for him to continue.

truth in those television shows. Because there's the introduction,

there's the conclusion. . . On the other hand, our lives continually are

dramas, situations, or confrontations—nothing at all like that. . . Isn't

we've never really loved anyone, hated anyone, fought as a result of love

At this point, Yamazaki violently shook me by the shoulders as I

He said, "Let's try fighting dramatically! Beautifully, swiftly, and

"Yeah!" I let out a brave yell and got into my fighting pose.

pastoral. There were some things that hurt, but punches from a weak

Yamazaki desperately was trying to make the fight as exciting as

Welcome to the N.H.K.

lines, "Satou, you don't understand anything!"

felt appropriate. "You're the one who's wrong!"

I was at a loss, having been unexpectedly questioned in a concrete

for a little while. "For example, how about the fact that you went to the

As I said that, Yamazaki abruptly aimed a kick at me. "Don't make

"Ow! Why are you suddenly kicking me for real, you—"

The blood rushed to my head. "Die, lolicon! Die, you erotic game

I swung my right fist as hard as I could, smashing it into Yamazaki's

Tangled up together, we fell to the ground. Yamazaki straddled my

stayed like this.

from under him. We were both breathing heavily. Yamazaki glared at

was great."

"It's not even close to being over yet. Let's keep fighting until we die,"

passionate battle between two weak men. It hurt. It really, really hurt. 

139

stomach, raising bile and making my eyes overflow with tears, and I was

jumping up and down.

fist—punched and was punched.

Something had to change soon. Likely, I would decide something before

don't you, Yamazaki. . . ?

Our entire bodies ached terribly. One of my front teeth felt loose.

We had just had our first little fight.

did, he caught my arm, and I tripped and fell. Following up, Yamazaki

"Ow, ow, it's gonna break, it's gonna break!" I tried to tap out on the

"I'll break it, I'll break it, I'll break it with a snap!"

"That's against the rules!"

"Like I said, when I hear talk like that, I get really pissed off!"

escalated.

Welcome to the N.H.K.

Eh?

shout.

apartment.

Several minutes later, I found myself being hit by Misaki. They were

though, I was already a bit beat up, and her blows jangled my bones.

human voice, Misaki continued hitting me.

Misaki got in several dozen more punches before finally calming

In other words, the voice calling, "Officer!" had been Misaki

the park as usual, where she saw two men arguing loudly and beating up

upset.

had to help. Because no one was around and she didn't have a cell phone,

a policeman was right there in order to save me.

The Revolving Rock

Actually, I felt bad for upsetting Misaki, who now had tears in her

shade of that bush over there, a girl was being attacked by a pervert. I

suddenly flipped out. He pulled a knife from his pocket and jumped me!

have gotten killed."

"Yeah."

I told her everything.

some reason. Sitting on the bench, she muttered, "That's not good.

all"

I've never punched anyone or been punched before. I actually feel

"I said, it's bad!"

front of her. As I mimicked a right hook, Misaki trembled and covered

"Huh?" I said.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

feigned a right hook. Again, Misaki guarded her head with both arms. 

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times. In the end, Misaki shrank up, frozen in that position, arms

Her strange position caused her sleeve to rise to her elbow, and I

By the blue-white light of the streetlamps, I could see that her arm

circular scars, with a diameter of about five millimeters a piece. They

into each other to prove their bravery.

voice, she asked, "Did you see?"

Now that I thought about it, Misaki always wore long sleeves. Even

I spoke to her in a cheerful voice. "What about today's counseling?"

bench, she shook violently. Even her teeth were chattering.

Finally, Misaki announced, "I'm leaving," tottering uncertainly

From behind, I dazedly watched her leave, debating whether I

turned around to ask, "Do you hate me now, after all?"

"You probably won't come anymore now." She was the kind of girl

The Revolving Rock

other, about sixteen feet apart.

more, she stole a glance at me. "Will you come tomorrow?"

won't I?"

I went home to my apartment. After swathing my body in
compresses, I slept

Chapter end