NHK ni Youkoso! Vol 1 Chapter 2

Chapter 02

Part One

out the apartment window at the neighborhood park across the street.

scene.

battle.

I thought maybe I should blow up the N.H.K. headquarters.

police. I rejected that plan.

this—or at least pretend that I believed it. That had to be it. I needed to

If I continued like this, my situation would never improve.

which mercilessly invaded even my gloomy six-mat, one-room

Another student had arrived to replace the one who had just vacated

school, smiles spread across their faces. Opening the window let in a cool

Argh, how could this happen? I alone had been left behind by the

the rest of the entire world, ail of which was in high spirits due to

I hadn't had proper contact with another human being for almost a

I felt like I might forget how to speak Japanese if I kept going at this

return to society. That would not be good; it would be very bad. If I

to rest by the world forever.

work. Thus, I recently bought a job information magazine from the

seemed impossible.

college, with zero qualifications. That's me. If I were the personnel

Welcome to the N.H.K.

myself. In this day and age—when it's hard enough to get work—there's

Eventually, though, at some point in time, every human being, no

I couldn't just keep riding my parents' coattails forever.

like, "It's all right! Even if I did quit college with only a few

for all kinds of certifications, including the IT-administrator certificate,

among other things. Please, send me just a little more allowance!"

months away.

reform my leechlike personality and escape this rotten hikikomori

I had to take down the N.H.K.

The world outside my apartment was full of danger. Cars drove at

sometimes haunted the streets. Could I really launch myself into that

Quite honestly, I was very anxious about it.

A loser like me could never lead a regular life within society. A

woke at the decent hour of seven o'clock in the morning for the first time

Jihad

decent life in conventional society would be impossible for someone

soundly through the day and night until five o'clock this morning.

me, who cried so unsuccessfully to apply Freudian analysis to last night's

relationship in a small room with the female upperclassman from high

desire to indulge an impure heterosexual relationship in a small room

concluded, "What part of this is a dream interpretation? You're just

Impossible for me, who went to eat breakfast and, upon opening the

Impossible for me, who then decided to ignore my empty stomach and

shampoo.

TV morning show—Virgo's luck in love is up today. An unexpected person

going co profess it to me if I don't leave my room all day? Huh? Let's see

A normal life within society was totally impossible for me.

Maybe I should just die!

I was determined to live until the day I defeated the N.H.K., even if

I would win or I would lose; I was still uncertain which. Anyway,

efficient use of every ounce of courage in my body. For the time being,

After slowly rising from my bed, I opened the cupboard and

from the hot pot I stored on top of the refrigerator. And then I waited—

the apartment next to mine, I waited patiently for three minutes.

who had just moved in this spring, really seemed to like anime. While it

he hadn't left his apartment? I felt like warning him, "Morning is no time

12 You're going to

lifestyle wasn't my concern.

what felt like a matter of seconds.

Just then, it happened.

chopsticks into the noodles, my doorbell's resounding "ding dong, ding

Who could it be?

breakfast was probably just a bill collector, coming to pick up my electric

obediently put down my chopsticks and headed toward the door, still

I flung open the door and quickly said, "Oh, electricity! The

My words trailed off. Alerted by the smile plastered across the

realized there was no way this middle-aged woman possibly could be the

"Please, forgive us for interrupting your busy schedule,"' said my

handing out these pamphlets," she beamed, passing me two small

Printed on the cover was: "Awaken! Tower of Druaga."13

the mild, April morning was calm and cheerful.

At Mita House's14 room 201, the door separating the inside of my

religious mission and me—nothing separated us any longer.

Welcome to the N.H.K.

bottomless evangelical smile, stood another woman.

the balance of power, two against one? How cowardly!

other religious recruiter was.

sun shone so gently, she shaded herself with a pure white parasol.

could tell nevertheless that she was young, particularly compared to the

than me.

dress, she gave off a sanctified, pure air. As if guarding the older woman,

Without my even realizing it, tears had sprung to my eyes,

This young girl, no older than seventeen or eighteen by my estimate,

I couldn't help but feel compassion. I mean, come on, what is this?!

fun. The age at which she'd rather put on some nice clothes, walk

But religions have strict commandments, such as "Thou shalt not

painful.

night. "God is watching, so we can't do something like this. But. . . but

girl? And even though God is watching. . . I confess. Heavenly Father!"

merged into one, constantly had to agonize her. Because the erotic book

reasoning had to be correct.

in that way, the existence of religion might not be such a bad thing after

quite wonderful, instead.

its obscenity made it extremely wonderful indeed.

spanked by a strict, older nun. This image was followed by salacious

torture session took place in a stone-floored basement. The inquisitor

the triangular punishment horse! "With a whip?!" Smack! Smack! Smack!

Spare me! Please, forgive me!" However, no one listens to her appeals,

escalating without end!

Satisfaction!

"Um. . . "

Welcome to the N.H.K.

me was staring at me. She anxiously inquired, "Are you all right?"

attention, not to mention my emotions. For a little while, even casual

What the hell?

"Ahem, ahem." I cleared my throat.

eyes drift in the wrong direction, I gave the older woman as intelligent a

Sure, I was clearly shaken. This, I admit.

longer any cracks in my armor left open to attack. After all, there was no

shoved the two pamphlets back at her, and this whole thing would be

But because of my extremely long time as a hikikomori, my ability to

possible, which was the real reason I was so shaken by all this.

Right. I'll say it in just a second. Yes, this time I'll really say it.

voice would sound rather hollow. The words coming out of my mouth,

mutter accidentally. But why should that matter, anyway?

girl again. Whatever they thought of me shouldn't matter. Who cared if

to refuse their conversion outright!

I'll say, "Yes, I'm fine!"

At that second, my line of sight casually passed over the word

On that same cover, in black, gothic letters, was printed: "The

The woman, noticing my gaze, further brightened her pious smile.

hikikomori issue from a Biblical standpoint. Are you interested?"

ravaged me then.

knew that I was, in actuality, a hikikomori, myself? Was that why she'd

frightening idea.

by people who didn't even know me incited violent fear, chills, and

Regardless, I had to calm down.

"Hikikomori? Ha ha ha! How could someone like me possibly be a

Am I completely stupid? Saying something like that just made me look

Welcome to the N.H.K.

needed to trick them now or come up with some excuse. . . something.

"Hey, th-there's no way I could be one, right? Right! I mean, no way

Or have a hikikomori life so extreme that I had to drop out of college

abject despair. Or anything like those things, right?"

continued to drift idly, with no end in sight. Someone, please stop me.

What do you mean by, 'The hikikomori life is attacking our youth. Are

suffer like that, right? And what do you people know? Even I don't

That was it. Now, I was finished. The missionary was thoroughly

call to the police. "There's a crazy person in the apartment over there!

Ah, I am definitely dangerous. Quite dangerous. I even surprise myself! In

to an ordinary, everyday, pamphlet-pushing older woman. I can't take any

It's time for me to die. Someone like me, having disgraced themselves so

"It's fine now, ma'am, so please go home quickly. Take the girl and

Oh, it's no use. It's over, it's over, it's over for me! Yeah, I'll buy a katana

Jihad

further disgrace, I'll expose my innards and prove myself as a warrior. That's

I thought of asking, "Hey, ma'am, do you know where? You don't?

fine, so just go away. Yeah, right, right, I am very sorry. I am a

hikikomori out there who can claim to be as worthless as I am. I'm

though. I'm fine, so just go away. See? Look, I'll give this back. I'll give

right now!"

time."

prompted the girl behind her. "We're going now, Misaki. Let's walk back

Yeah, go home, go home. Go home right away. You too, Misaki, disappear

Hm? What, Misaki? What's that expression for? Even though the old

stare into my face? What, you have a problem with something, huh? Hey,

at? Are you making fun of me? Are you laughing at me. . . ?!

girl I didn't even know.

face. She was smiling brightly. It was an adorable, mocking smile. And I

Because I was being laughed at by someone as crazy as a cult-loving

anything, because her smile was unnecessarily cute, for those various

I can't go on. I'm seriously going to die.

Goodbye, religious, middle-aged woman.

Goodbye, goodbye, everyone.

the lock, draw the curtains, and set off on my journey.

my mouth with both hands to stop my breath. That hurts. It hurts. But

to die momentarily.

because breath was leaking in through my nose.

something.

Chapter end

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