Chapter 01
Part One
conspiracy.
, one-room apartment, I had ensconced myself
It was a painfully dreary night.
cried while eating my New Year's soup.3
winter chill was piercing. In the middle of my filthy room, where
had soaked into the walls, I sighed over and over.
It was all I could think about.
11
If I didn't break out of my present condition soon, I would fall
a college dropout already. I needed to find work fast and return to
I just. . . couldn't do it.
The answer is simple: Because I am a hikikomori.
Currently, the hottest, most popular new social phenomenon—
They say that there are now approximately two million hikikomori
a rock on the street, they would hit a hikikomori. . . Of course, that
Anyway, I was one of the hikikomori currently so popular here in
left my apartment only once a week, and then I'd just to go to a
and I slept sixteen hours a day.
lifestyle had caused me to drop out of college.
approaching professional status. No matter whom I might be up against,
In fact, I was confident that if an "International Hikikomori
would beat out other hikikomori regardless of country, whether it was a
12
whose escape was through drugs, or an American hikikomori who found
Right! The famous founder of kyokushin karate,
Mr. Masutatsu
mountains during his youth in order to hone his spirit before going on to
that standpoint, then I—who have been holed up continuously in this
incredibly close to becoming the strongest man in the world.
break it with a chop of the hand.
While wrapping my bloodied right hand in a bandage, I sat back down
Any way you looked at it, my mind hadn't been working properly of
because I'd avoided contact with other people for more than half a year?
bathroom, my gait was unsteady.
The more immediate problem was how to break out of this helpless
Yes! I have to escape this festering hikikomori life as fast as possible. A
13
girlfriend, and lead a normal life!
I will be disqualified as a human being. I need a resolution right now!
make myself find a part-time job!"—just faded away like mist, in fewer
Why? Why is this?
the very roots of my spirit.
At that point, I decided that in order to force my thoroughly
ordered online.
anything. It's a perfectly legal, relatively powerful hallucinogen.
It acts directly on the serotonin receptors in the brain and reputedly
Exactly. To escape my gloomy situation, I had no choice but to rely
stimulate my own worn-out brain with violently strong hallucinogens.
said: "The
enlightenment you receive from drugs are, in the end, one and the same."
If that's the case, then let me be enlightened through drugs.
14
feeble spirit and replace it with a strong sturdy courage. I will place just a small
it up my nose!
Oh, how wonderful, how pleasant!
filled with dirty dishes and a floor littered with cast-off clothing, I
The walls wobble and squirm while the air conditioner breathes deeply.
Oh! Everything is alive. We are all one world.
Mr. Kotatsu, thank you for warming me.
Mr. TV, Mr. Computer, and everyone else I've met up to this point, thank
"Mr. Satou, break out of your hikikomori life soon!"
could make me happier. Now, I'll be fine. With everyone's warm support, I can
Please watch. Look, right now, I am about to go outside. It's three o'clock in
Birth of a Soldier
into the vast world.
clothes, hat, and jacket. There, all ready.
stuff. See you.
For some reason, the door to my apartment didn't open. Why? Why
Anxiety consumed me. Someone was trying to interfere with my
"That's right. Mr. Satou, if you leave, you won't be a hikikomori any
So?
The complete shock I received from that one phrase, transmitted by
Interference.
started my life as a hikikomori.
I stomped along, trudging up the slope to my school. Sweat dripped
There were very few people on the road—maybe a couple of
heading for the same school I was. I passed very few, though.
than it had been every other day. Everyone I passed looked at me. And I
16
quiet as to escape my hearing—each one of them let out something akin
It's true.
They each saw me and then began to ridicule me! The housewives
I was astonished. Why? Why should they laugh at me?
"Ew, how awful. I wish he wouldn't leave his house."
It couldn't be. . . probably wasn't. . . might not have been. . . just a
Listening carefully, I was sure I had heard them, their voices
Ever since then. . .
The speakers crackled. "That's right. Those people who laughed at
complex, Mr. Satou. They used your easily hurt, naive soul against you,
Ah! That's what happened! At that moment, the deep darkness that
In short, up to this point, someone had been psychologically
perfect sense! Who could have done such a thing? Why?
Birth of a Soldier
Just then, my television suddenly whispered, "The N.H.K. is
barely noticeable, began to agitate me for some reason. N.H.K. . . I felt
might be hiding.
ridiculous nonsense. Even though I was currently right in mid-trip on a
sober judgment. In fact, my brain was working far better than it had in
One plus one equals two. Two plus two equals four. Look, my logical
That's why I need to think. Right now, I need to think!
me.
hunch, but I could no longer have any doubt about its accuracy. We
exaggeration to call this enlightenment.
Thinking about it, I remembered that when I was little, I had liked
7
was such an interesting anime.
Mentioning anime brings up images of otaku.
When it comes to
human contact tend to become hikikomori.
18
I see! At this point, the direct connection between N.H.K. and
broadcasting such interesting anime, N.H.K. mass-produced anime
What a dirty thing to do!
this far, I was only a step away from the perfect solution to the mystery.
Thanks to the drugs, my field of vision was spinning. All the
Right! With the help of my furniture friends, no one could stop me.
me forever and ever. This is the time to counterattack. I'll make you all regret
Only one more step. . .
lend me your strength!
was sent directly to my brain in the form of a proverb: "The name says it
Basically, the very name N.H.K. should reveal the reality of the
couldn't be all it meant. Another meaning, a secret double-meaning, had
N.H.K., N.H.K., N.H.K. . . . I kept mumbling these three letters to
Birth of a Soldier
N stands for Nippon. If that's so, then H must be. . .
had discovered the truth behind everything. H stood for Hikikomori! In
My battle began that day.
reason my apartment door wouldn't open was due to nothing more than
though.
N.H.K., I must fight it out bravely. I absolutely will not lose.
Though sometimes, I do want to die. . .
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