NHK ni Youkoso! Vol 1 Chapter 6

Chapter O6

Followed by an Oath

The second Golden Week21 had arrived, I recognized that the rainy

an amazing speed.

occurred.

the convenience store. She handed me a piece of printer paper. It

ballpoint pen.

high school literary club. We went to a café in Shibuya and had a little 

97

On top of that, my father was laid off during a "restructuring." My

 Likewise, my next door neighbor, Yamazaki, also seemed to be

in the primary sector, has been hospitalized with liver trouble," he

In reality, it seemed like he had no choice. I thought his best decision

winery. Apparently, he had some deep issues with his parents.

education. They sent an application to a dairy school without even

and as a security guard to earn my tuition for Yoyogi Animation

I didn't really understand Yamazaki's anger, but becoming furious

though he would simply not commit to anything, even if everything

reality for the time being.

game we'd been planning. We were trying to push forward, even now, at

Truthfully, I should escape from my hikikomori life as quickly as

put on a smile and told Yamazaki, "I'd like you to just leave me alone

Welcome to the N.H.K.

"Sure. We can work with your tastes, Satou. I honestly though we

the other day."

finished! I wanted to scream, but once again, I smiled and went along

"I'm counting on you. The quality of the game all depends on your

"I know. I'll do my best when writing them. I'll put all my energy into

Yeah, this is the peak. Bravo! Or rather, that's awful!

game. After all, the genre itself aspires toward limitless escapism.

speech. "That's right. Escapism is the very essence of the erotic game. As

The real world is overflowing with painful things: girls who make asses

cheated on me with the manager of the convenience store, the

painful things make this world a difficult place."

situations specific only to him, but I let him continue. Pausing briefly

Fond Memories, Followed by an Oath

short, real women are worthless. They are incredibly close to monster.

"So?"

female characters, the kind that don't exist in reality."

"I mean, characters who start liking the protagonist without any real

kinds of characters," Yamazaki explained. "Characters without any

protagonist. The kinds of characters who could never exist in the real

"If you introduce characters so far removed from actual life, won't

"It doesn't matter. Players aren't looking for realism in erotic game.

it, eventually. If someone wanted to fall in love with a realistic character,

"I see."

warned.

"Well, if you just stick in a regular female character and announce

You have to use strategies in terms of situational and character-based set

"For example, one technique is to make her a childhood friend. If 

100

develop a believable bond, because they've been close to each other from

perfectly convenient, ideal heroine.

your heroine, then, due to the nature of her job, a master-servant

argument for her as a perfectly convenient, ideal heroine.

robot into the heroine. Because robots cannot oppose humans, the sense

making a convincing argument for her as a perfectly convenient, ideal—"

"I mean a regular robot. You make a robot the heroine of your erotic

suggested that this was all completely natural.

set up a reason why the heroine cannot defy the main character. You do

the main character, she must listen, and she must love the main

requirements as much as possible."

In utter desperation, I asked, "Well, what about a classmate who is

"That's a great set up!" Yamazaki answered, a sincere look on his

Fond Memories, Followed by an Oath

"Well, how about the additional scenario that she was the main

"Th-that's amazing!"

only person she can rely on is the main character. How about that?"

"Also, she's got Alzheimer's."

"Not to mention suffering from multiple personality disorder!"

"She's actually an alien."

This discussion continued for several hours; as a result, we finally

"She's the protagonist's childhood friend as well as a robot maid.

Alzheimer's and multiple personality disorder. However, she's actually a

her true form is really a fox spirit."

“Hm. . . "

"Uh. . . Uh. . . "

"How the hell can I write something like this? I'll do it my own way!"

It was already two o'clock in the morning. 

102

the end, we were just two no-good hikikomori types, after all. I decided

That's right! Speaking of escapism, the best thing would be to create

That's why I'd write the scenario right away!

Several days passed quickly.

against a giant, evil organization. . . " This was the story that I scribbled,

words came fluidly. I was struck by my own literary talent.

story I was writing was supposed to be an erotic game scenario—and as

story, I had to fully describe lewd scenes. I had to write love scenes

age, had to write a wanna-be erotic story. It was too painful.

My work was becoming extremely difficult. My scenarios weren't

vocabulary. My brain simply wasn't equipped with the particular

Fond Memories, Followed by an Oath

forever just to choose a single word.

thinking, writing such embarrassing sentences? There's a limit even to

I'd break into a cold sweat, my fingers would stop on the keyboard as I

scenarios.

I screwed up all my courage, though, and built sentences with the

writing the erotic game, the real problems I desperately was trying to

painful truth, and that would be no good. It would, in fact, be bad.

examples as I focused on writing the scenarios. Look for the right

delete. . . Write and delete. My brain was about to unhinge.

"Ah, ah, oh no!"

"And her soft breasts. . . "

No good. Delete.

No. Delete.

Wrong! Delete, delete! 

104

Are you kidding?! Delete, delete, delete!

Wrong!

I said, 'wrong!'

No!

Stop it!

No more!

I can’t take any more!

What the hell is wrong with me?

I said, 'what's wrong with me?'

What's wrong with me. . . ?

". . . fresh and young. . . "

". . . harder. . . "

". . . sweet sigh. . . "

Fond Memories, Followed by an Oath

". . . slightly pointed. . . "

"hips". . . "from her lis". . . "grinding". . . "sweet". . . "like a kitten". . .

What's wrong with me. . . ?

"light pink". . . "want to see". . . "okay, it's fine". . . "completely naked". . .

"slit". . .

"Right below the belly button". . . "the private parts". . . "make your

I'm done for.

"overflowing honey". . . "with her pointer finger". . . "it's almost like you

What about my life. . . ?

I can’t see my future.

in". . . "foreskin". . . "soft flesh". . . "blushing just a little". . . "licentious". . .

"Swollen". . . "swollen". . . "piercing the sky". . . "rising high."

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Delete all, delete all, delete all. . . 

106

When fiction becomes the reference for fiction, it's natural that the

I'm okay. Calm down.

the beginning, using my own real experiences for reference. If I did that,

nonfiction experiences.

When it came to real-life experiences I could use in an erotic game; I

that distant time, five years earlier. . . that fun time from five years ago. . .

I closed my eyes and thought back. Doing so, I soon realized that

hurriedly opened my eyes and tried to stop thinking about it. However,

stopped.

"High school" suggests slightly bitter romances, and society generally

every day had been filled with excitement, like in a love simulation game.

As might be expected from someone in the literary club, she was 

107

The Complete Manual of Suicide in front of me.

unbecoming. You're cute, so why can’t you just act normally?

"Why are you reading that book?" I asked her, feeling I had no

Laughing self-consciously, she answered, "Don't you think that

with her boyfriend, and she seemed depressed over it.

She'd asked me.

they ought to be free to do so. It's probably not right for others to judge."

deflated, she dropped her eyes once more to the book on her lap.

cards with her, she said, "Hey."

"Satou, after all this time, if I died or something would you be sad?"

sudden question. All I remember clearly is that several days later she

Come on, give me a break. I have no idea how serious you were about

"You're not just a stupid middle school girl."

Welcome to the N.H.K.

She was the kind of girl who openly said this sort of thing though

she'd drop non sequiturs like, "By the way, our problem is that there are

She continued her explanation. "Nobody is to blame. Not

to blame. For some reason, all sorts of things seem to be heading in a bad

"The only strange thing is your mind."

emergency room. By the way, Satou, did you notice that even though

us? It's because a huge organization is planning a terrible conspiracy

"Yeah, yeah."

"Yeah, yeah." She was the kind of girl who liked to pretend she was

days before graduation, she even let me do her once.

good side over two whole years was that one single act. It was randomly

I felt like I should have done it a few more times. But then, I also felt

wondered which would have been right.

At a trendy café in Shibuya, I asked her, "Well, what do you think?" 

109

The previous Sunday, without any warning whatsoever, I had

I left the house without worrying about it.

but as we were from another town, there wasn't any real problem. As

Satou, to try and get your current contact information, but your mom

"Oh yeah, that happens a lot. Those solicitors pretend to be a

kind of depressing that after not seeing each other for several years, this

My memories hadn't deceived me: She really was cute, after all. And

contact and agoraphobia—neuroses peculiar to hikikomori. Even after

Seated against the window, the girl stirred her ice coffee with a

I answered truthfully, without hiding anything. I had a smile on face.

"Oh, I've currently been shut in for four years," I bragged. "I'm a

"Even now, you have trouble going outside?"

"Well then, I have something that'll be good for you."

Welcome to the N.H.K.

and handed me some capsules. "This is Ritalin."

"It's a drug that's kind of related to stimulants. It really, really works.

 She was still a strange person, even after all this time. Evidently, she

me, so I took one of the questionable pills gratefully.

unnecessarily upbeat conversation.

no, I guess not."

"I'm unemployed."

"I did, but now I'm unemployed. I'll become a housewife soon,

"Hm, you're getting married?" A young wife of twenty-four. Moe moe. . .

"In a way."

"Not at all."

"Why do you think?"

Then, she said, "I'm really happy right now."

government employee who was rich and, at the same time, good looking. 

111

"Don't think too hard about this. Don't think about anything too

had been helping herself to that drug.

should have gone out with you. You really liked me, didn't you, Satou?"

"I'm really sorry. Maybe we shouldn't have spent all that time

"The fact that the one time we did it, we parted soon afterward. . .

"Maybe it's my fault that you became a hikikomori."

of. . . "

"Yeah, that's right! The giant, evil organization totally got me."

might be nothing I can do. . . "

"Wow! I'm so amazed! You're going to be a mother!" I was stunned.

gotten on the right path. Now, I think I can go forward, all the way, in a

couldn't see her expression, but I assumed from her tone that she was

"That's really great. Really great. Really great." I said the same thing

Welcome to the N.H.K.

appropriate ceremony.

"No, not really." I stopped in place, as well.

We had arrived at a street lined with hotels. There were several

shoulders, even though it was the middle of the day. I felt a little shiver

"Shall we have an affair or something?" The girl smiled as she said

"An affair with a young wife! It's like on TV!" I grew even more

"I only let you do it once, so I feel bad for you."

wanted to stay there with her.

"That's right."

you, right?"

"Then, I'm going home." Hunching over, I left the spot immediately.

impossible. It should have been easy for someone as cute and friendly is

would envy. Someone that beautiful should be able to live a carefree life.

depression. A person could become disconsolate or angry. Even if 

113

huge organization. . . They wish that some huge, evil organization

Terrible things inundate the world. This world is wrapped in

sadness.

behind a stupid will that said something like, "I've been broken by both

school had married and divorced. Yamada was now raising two children

been living with a man, went home to her family. Yuusuke, who was

making erotic games, had all his dreams destroyed.

I'll do. . . I'll do something!" When he proclaimed this, drunk from sake,

longer could see how he could escape it.

Those events were fun, as was karaoke. Everyone had a good time and

anything! We could do anything! We could become happy!

terribly slow we didn't even notice it, we were being run down. There

Every one of us eventually had some terrible experiences. The only

Welcome to the N.H.K.

we all would fall into some really unbearable situation.

I thought of my female classmate. Hey, I'm no good. I'm more than five

There's nothing I can do for you. I really wanted to go to the hotel with

or anything. Ah, I really did want to have an affair with you. It's impossible,

take care of himself, doesn't have the power to make you happy.

relied upon, who brightened surroundings just by being there. I wanted

a hikikomori, afraid of the outside world.

I'm no good anymore.

lifestyle would have to end soon. Should I just end my life?

scenarios. I decided to call Yamazaki and apologize. "I'm sorry, I can't

But he was already on the phone. I could hear his screams of rage

discussion?! To start with, I came here with my own money. I'm not

Fond Memories, Followed by an Oath

It sounded like he was fighting with his parents again. Everyone has

I was just about at the point of truly losing the courage to go on. A

refreshing, suicide.

pajamas, I tried lying down in bed. As I did, the scrap or paper on top of

One evening, I had been reading manga in the convenience store's

"By the next time we meet, make sure to sign and stamp this, okay?" she

look of it, she'd been walking around with it for a while.

I'd already read it several times, but I picked it up and read again. It

ridiculous that it made my head ache. However, with my emotions at

signed and stamped the contract.

It was night, and the moon was out. Somewhere, a dog howled. Seated

Unexpectedly, Misaki showed up, again wearing normal clothing

began making excuses for something I hadn't even mentioned. "This

I laughed. After my laugh had evaporated, the distant baying of the 

116

Misaki asked, "Did you finish making your game?"

know about it, though?"

to overhear him talking about it. By the way, what's an erotic game?"

Rehabilitation in Occupied Areas, and GARIOA is Government

the American government to prevent social problems, such as disease

"That's a huge lie, isn't it?"

"You being a creator was a lie, too, right?"

"In reality, you're an unemployed hikikomori, aren't you?"

I held out the contract. Quickly snatching it from my hands, Misaki

You can travel off into the wide world after just a little training."

"I told you before, didn't I? I'm a kind girl who rescues young people

assured, nothing bad will happen. Okay?"

"Anyway, with this, our contract is in force! If you break it, the

Fond Memories, Followed by an Oath

blindingly. Right then, I started getting nervous. I had the feeling I had

Just how much legal force did this contract have? I should have asked

Contract for Escape from Hikikomori Life and

Name of hikikomori: Satou Tatsuhiro.

Defining the hikikomori as party A and the supporter as party B, the

A will confess to B all anguish, complication, complaints, whines,

B will do everything in his or her power to aid As escape from

succeed. Additionally, during the process toward C, B will attempt in

Conversely, A will speak politely to B.

Furthermore, A will not treat B as an obnoxious person. A will not

Naturally, violent acts, such as hitting or kicking, shall not be

Counseling shall take place every evening at the Mita Fourth 

118

If A observes the contract, A should move toward C.

Remembering the contract's contents, I was attacked by severe anxiety.

But Misaki had long since departed.
I had been left alone, at my absolute limit.

Chapter end