NHK ni Youkoso! Vol 1 Chapter 8

Chapter 08

Part One

in my brain. Like crashing and receding waves, my mania and depression

better, I wanted to die so bad the very next day that I wasn't good for

Despite using drugs to force myself to be more energetic, I couldn't

anxieties for the future, as well as many other fears, assaulted me

periods and, as such, was completely, horribly severe.

accustomed to by then, remained frightening. Anxiety of an unknown

Infiltration

my fear even more.

wander and I would become unable to look others in the eye while

school kid. I felt embarrassed from the bottom of my heart. And because

stranger and more suspicious. It was a vicious cycle.

front of Misaki. My hands, now prone to shaking, took out a cigarette

can this he? This sucks! I didn't know what to do with the tobacco and

humiliation of having to put them back in my pocket. I kept trying as

finally, I succeeded—thank heavens!

much on smoking my cigarette. I just kept smoking away, wasting five

my cigarette was shaking rapidly. On the back of my neck, a cold, sticky

"What's wrong?" asked Misaki. As was usual for our counseling

"The problems caused by my chronic illness!" I replied.

That's what really bothered me. Young girls these days didn't know

would be impossible to do. The awful, useless traits acquired through 

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and all my other anxiety disorders—now held me down with

Hm. . . Did I lock my apartment door? Was I certain I'd put out my

adorable eyes! Not to mention, stop being so silent. Stop watching me without

hurt.

What the hell was that supposed to mean?!

"Usually, girls around your age always are eating some kind of snack,

crunch, crunch, crunch. What's up with that? Is it because they're young

calories or they'll die? That's got to be it, huh?"

She didn't say anything.

"I won't die! And that's because I'm an energetic man! This

out before me! 'A neeew toooomorrow is here, one of hopesssss. . . '" I

Misaki clutched my shirt sleeve.

"Let's go into the city, the day after tomorrow," she said, continuing

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important once said long ago, 'Throw out your books and go to the city,'

recently, so it's about time for us to go into the city. If we do that, I think

Without thinking, I nodded.

in broad daylight, with a mysterious girl whose true identity I still didn't

amount of pressure on me. Completely overwhelmed by it, I

no chance that I would avoid doing something incomprehensibly

Regardless, a promise is a promise. I reminded myself that the first step

my promises to others— I wasn't a member of society, though; I was just

Anyway, I felt a sharp pain in my stomach. The tension and

day before a test. For someone whose will was weak like mine, this

However, just as Dostoyevsky or somebody had written in a story,

pleasure. In essence, when stress surpasses a particular limit, humans get

Welcome to the N.H.K.

might make a person rashly agreeable. This feeling, in turn, would raise

"Right, Yamazaki?"

Today, as usual, Yamazaki had been grinding away at his game since

be enjoying himself in some ghastly way.

computer with his body. He must have been making an especially erotic

Well, whatever bizarre erotic game Yamazaki was working on

about then and opened the fridge.

"Hey, you! Don't eat someone else's food every day as though it's

"No matter what you say, because I sold the fridge in my room to

instant ramen from its usual place in the cabinet.

Yamazaki slowly stood up from his computer desk and opened the

However, today's solicitors weren't Misaki and her aunt but a young

boy in a navy blazer. I wondered whether perhaps the routes had been

Either way, the solicitors' actions remained unchanged. 

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two pamphlets to Yamazaki. "Uh, see, we're spreading the word about

Yamazaki tried to chase the solicitors away with some appropriate

Watching them, I suddenly had a wonderful idea. Joining them at

before interjecting, "What are you saying, Yamazaki?! Earlier, didn't you

"Huh?"

"What are you talking about, you idiot?" I faced the solicitors and rattled

while. Could we possibly convince you to let us attend one of your

Part Two

turn to present at missionary school, and I don't want to."

Missionary school was apparently a kind of assembly where

following day, she would have to give a speech in front of everyone.

Welcome to the N.H.K.

couldn't really understand what she was talking about. When I tried to

home. She left, saying merely, "Anyway, as I have this thing that I have

forget your promise."

meeting, and at that meeting, she would have to play a really difficult

perfect opportunity to find out who Misaki really was! Summoning my

observe!"

to attend the "literature research" that took place every Wednesday.

continued to entreat them, "It must be today! Please, take us to the

After I begged them for a few more minutes, they finally gave in.

"It starts at six o'clock in the evening. If you tell them you've come 'on

It was early evening. Having disguised ourselves in strange clothing, we

My reason for infiltrating the meeting was to observe Misaki's

Infiltration

reason that I decided to disguise myself. In the beginning, Yamazaki

convinced him. "Infiltrating a religious organization is a once-in-alifetime

yielded to my half-assed argument and, in the end, happily disguised

I wore the black suit I had bought when I entered college so that I

my eyes and donned dark purple sunglasses. Even I thought I looked

For his part, Yamazaki wore platform shoes to make himself about

bleached his hair gold. I had no idea why he even owned such an idiotic

Yet, I remained a bit anxious. I was afraid that our voices might

way we can change our voices, is there?"

into the department store near the station, and we headed toward the

helium gas. It had been popular a while ago because if you inhaled it,

"Ah! You're smart!" I thumped Yamazaki on the back.

In this way, we completed all our preparations and triumphantly

shopping center near the station. People passing us—clearly a shady 

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direction. Normally, we would have been intimidated by their stares; but

blocked the glances, and I had a friend in Yamazaki, who bravely walked

More than anything else, the "energy-giving drug" I had bought

been suffering from anxieties I couldn't imagine escaping—but now, I

drugs could drastically change people's emotions.

narrow alley that ran next to the tracks, pointing at a four-story building

I checked the map the solicitor had drawn for me. The information

Hall." There was no mistake; this was it. It was great that we had arrived

Contrary to its powerful-sounding name, the Imperial Hall was a

businesses. The first floor was a real estate company and the second

occupied by the religious group. Colored red by the sunset, the rental

in gold leaf and the like, so I was taken by surprise.

Yamazaki."

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Fortifying our will, we climbed the narrow stairs of the building.

No one we passed even obliquely mentioned our strange disguises.

bad, I need my sunglasses." I said this despite not having been asked.

That's right: They were actually good people.

"Welcome."

A housewife, a female middle school student, and a businessman

them, we continued up the narrow stairs and stepped into the meeting

The interior of the hall lacked any religious atmosphere.

found. Instead, inside the room, a podium like those found in school

folding chairs. The room could accommodate about one hundred

and the fluorescent lighting was bright. This relaxed space, the meeting

For now, we sat in folding chairs at the very back, hunching down to

Welcome to the N.H.K.

failed miserably. Yamazaki and I were surrounded by hospitable, smiling

solicitor wed seen the previous day had told everyone to expect visitors

"I hear you're interested in the Bible," said a housewife with a child in

A young man about my age said, "Please, take your time and watch."

They were all speaking to us at the same time.

anxious. This is bad. At this rate, we'll stand out. Or rather, we're already

though, it's only a matter of time before she sees through our disguises.

housewife where the bathroom was, we hurried from the meeting hall.

"It's bad, isn't it, Yamazaki?"

clean bathroom.

"I'm kind of moved." I was somewhat surprised by myself. This was

this. A large number of people had openly welcomed me with smiles on

"Ha ha ha ha, maybe I should convert!"

burst into laughter. Next came the sound of toilet paper unrolling. I 

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his eyes had dilated behind his colored contacts. White powder stuck to

"How about you, Satou?" Yamazaki held out a plastic packet filled

begin, I couldn't afford to lose my level-headed judgment.

creating an even more perfect disguise. Yamazaki, an off-the-chart smile

around the bathroom.

bathroom wails. The assembly seemed to have begun.

As I mentioned, the meeting hall's interior lacked any sort of religious

Why had I gotten goose bumps up and down my spine? I was

leaving the apartment. My emotional amplification might have been

Almost one hundred people had gathered in this hall, and they were

women, young men, young women—they had turned in unison to face

certainly feel holiness. Oh, this is true religion! This is wonderful!

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the meeting hall and arrived back at a seat along the very edge. When

pray. He seemed to be the most important person there.

with us humans, may praise and glory be returned to your great name."

looked at us.

Or so I thought. As he was finishing his prayers, the important man

you were all able to gather here again today. Many children, as well as

New people? Who? Who are they?

Everyone's gazes immediately turned toward us. I pulled the tulip

with everyone else, flashed his insane smile.

front of me, in the seat closest to the pedestal. She hadn't realized we

everyone.

Jesus Christ, and give you our prayers."

out terribly in the chorus. 

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This was why it was called "missionary school."

example to follow. After that, the missionary students expounded on

a three-tiered assessment ("good," "work harder," or "needs

At least, that's how the housewife sitting next to me explained it.

was a weekday evening, a decent number of people had gathered. What

extremely normal, middle-aged women, like the kind you'd find

businessmen, corning straight to the assembly on their way home from

A wide variety of people had gathered in this meeting hall.

podium, and I was fascinated by their discussions. Some people even

speeches once again contained the sort of vocabulary that made normal

wonderful terms kept coming up, and so my stomach began to ache.

gathered here, and that they were all very, very serious.

"Noah's Ark is on Mount Ararat."

Welcome to the N.H.K.

"According to the Book of Revelations. . . "

were vastly outnumbered.

The decay of this world is spreading visibly. Political corruption is

urban crime just goes on and on. Youths are addicted to licentious

and further by the wayside. In shore, this is Satan's doing. Those in this

precisely why Armageddon draws near. Before Armageddon arrives, we

our mission.

those without faith would fall into hell.

"Praise God, hate Satan" appeared to be the general policy. They all

passages from the Bible, speaking without hesitation. I could see some

rang, marking the end of the allotted six minutes, everyone clapped. I

speeches ended.

I was expectant. I wanted her to use ridiculous lines like those I

cheerful. 

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During the entire time, she had nothing interesting to say. In a vague,

at her shoes the entire time.

from elementary school on, everyone had bullied.

After a ten minute break, a "service meeting" was scheduled. During

young men. Each group gathered together, talking and smiling happily.

"—servants volunteering—"

"—the Satomi sisters finally were baptized."

follow the conversations well.

alone, stooped over on a steel chair. She was making herself small, trying

she was destroying any trace of herself. She really was pale. Each time

she feared someone might try to talk to her. During the break, no one

In the friendly meeting hall, she alone stood out from the 

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"Let's go home." I nudged Yamazaki toward the door.

Yamazaki's eyes were bloodshot, and I had some idea why. In the

vocabulary of erotic games—service was defined as "a special type of

"This is a service meeting! Those girls over there will perform their

"There's no way that's going to happen!"

outside. As we approached the building's main exit, a voice called out

It was the younger of the two solicitors we'd encountered earlier, the

glared at us. "You guys are really here just to make fun, right?"

back.

However, the boy didn't yell at me. In fact, we started walking along

wind was unseasonably chilly. The boy was smoking a cigarette. He

"That's against the commandments, I think."

another cigarette with what seemed to be a practiced hand.

Infiltration

want to see something weird, so they come to observe the meetings.

funny?"

"I'm not doing this religion thing because I like it, you know."

"It's my parents. Both my mom and dad love religion. In our house,

wanted to leave the church, what do you think would happen? I once

friends' houses.' When I did, that old hag started screaming, 'You devil!'

The boy laughed. "I go along with my parents enough for them not

He spent his time at school like a normal kid, I concluded, and while

life.

mistake of joining up." He sounded serious. "Everyone made a fuss over

something dumb like, 'maybe I could get along with nice people such as

any kind of selfless love. It's a way to get you to convert.

Everyone wants to be the leader. Everyone wants to go to the holy land.

sending presents to the leaders, trying to raise his position, no matter 

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girl who presented last was just a nondescript researcher until recently,

she did. When she, a family member, presents at the missionary school,

I fished for more information about Misaki.

researcher. She's a normal girl—an adopted child, or some kind of ward

which might prove to be a saving grace. No, I guess she's torn between

reason."

When we parted, the boy admonished, "Like I said, don't do it. You

you do, though, don't have kids."

Part Three

a cloudless blue. As it was Saturday, there were a lot of people near the

As promised, I'd met her at the neighborhood park at one o'clock in

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had passed, and we were still walking. We just kept walking. Although

we'd been walking around and around the same roads for a while.

Finally, I couldn't take it anymore. "Um, where are we walking?"

"I mean, what's our destination?"

I rolled my eyes toward the sky.

that you mention it, it is kind of strange. Thinking about it more

I had nothing to say.

It's not like I have an answer. To begin with, what in the hell were we

to walk around in the city. Who in the world are we, anyway? If I could

At any rate, I asked, "Misaki, is there anywhere you'd like to go?"

"Have you eaten lunch yet?"

For the time being, we decided to go to a nearby family restaurant.

Welcome to the N.H.K.

I've eaten at a place like this."

me. I wanted sunglasses. If I could just have sunglasses, I wouldn't have

Misaki ordered the lunch special. She ate with vigor while I sipped

Dammit, I thought. The caffeine was making it even more difficult to

Misaki was rather cheery, however. She looked like she was having

table.

"It is amazing. You're very skilled." I praised her.

We walked for about another half hour before heading to a café. I

original reason we were meeting like this.

I think you'll definitely head in a good direction."

program, and it didn't mean we were on a date or anything. And then,

even more mystified by her true identity. For starters, the evening had

her part. Given how little she had fit in with the surroundings at the

In the end, who was she? Even now, she remained a huge mystery. 

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should I do? Finally, with no idea what else to do, I simply kept silent.

This one was The Many Words That Guide You: A Collection of Proverbs

surprised.

"Let it be." Saying this, she intently looked at me. "It seems to be a

"L-let things be as they are."

Eventually, our meandering took us back to the manga café where

her. Acting like a regular customer, I took a receipt. Then, we sat down

The place was basically deserted.

sat across from me, watched me and drank orange juice. I was incredibly

about to open in my stomach.

manga like this. I tried speaking. "Misaki?"

"There aren't many people in this manga café, are there?"

I looked over at the man behind the counter. "That man, how is he

Welcome to the N.H.K.

"He's my uncle. I'm always causing him trouble; but because I'm

It sounded like they had some sort of complicated family dynamic;

"Anyway, Misaki, do you enjoy your religious activities?"

"Trouble?"

presence there depresses a lot of other people. Actually, it would be best

"You could just leave the group."

"Misaki, you don't really believe in God, do you?"

think it would be nice if God existed. If I could, I'd like to believe, but it's

She sounded disappointed. In a discouraged tone, she gave an abrupt

terrible villain. Thinking about it comprehensively, I've come to that

"Huh?"

things has to be about nine to one. One time, I wrote it all down in my

spread it open on the table.

the happy times—the times when you think, 'How fun! I'm glad I'm 

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with a calculator, so there's no mistake."

Misaki didn't show me any other pages. I had no intention of going out

Misaki continued, "That's why. Any God who would purposefully

It's a logical conclusion, isn't it?"

"Yeah. I do want to believe. I think I wish did God did exist. I

"You mean?"

health. If we could push the responsibility for our misery onto God, then

It was a complicated discussion. I folded my arms and pretended to

To begin with, Misaki, how serious about this are you? You've been

been trapped in a deceptive fog.

could believe in God," she whispered, "I could become happy. God is a

"The problem is," she continued, "the problem is. . . I have a poor

create some really showy miracle for me, just like He does in the Bible?"

Welcome to the N.H.K.

After we chatted for about an hour longer, I decided it was about

"Don't worry about it. Please, be kind to her."

girl Misaki's age, but the man's weary expression was strangely

Back at my apartment, I was incredibly surprised.

set up. Wobbling with each step, Yamazaki circled the doll.

speechless.

had a Ruriruri26 life-sized figure he bought a long time ago that he didn't

Please, Satou, you worship her, too—this pale, young little, adorable

The doll seemed to be some anime character. Yamazaki was

in the upper years of elementary school.

was empty. Yamazaki had finished all the rest.

this century. Yes! This time, I had a real epiphany. Indeed, Satou, I've

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feet of the doll, Yamazaki suddenly stood up and faced me.

something missing from us. There's a big hole in our chests, so I wanted

That's it. Yesterday, our religious observation reinforced my meditation

we want to be ordered around by someone else, and that's why we made

more easily. You see? That strong, simple story! I honestly was affected!

incredibly frightening. As you can see from the illustrations in

picked up the pamphlet lying in the corner of the room and held it out to

"Please, look at the special feature for June, 'Guardian Angels: They

Yamazaki had opened to a page featuring a realistic illustration of a

Yamazaki ripped the pamphlet into pieces. "I don't need an angel like

say 'angel,’ I think of something more, you know, beautiful and moe moe

Many, many memories of erotic games where an angelic girl

"That's right! Don't you see, Satou? Now is the exact time for

I was still speechless. 

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the sect!"

Shaking off my hand, Yamazaki continued ranting. "Those who

in order to bring meaning to our lives! And the meaning will be how we

Stalking around and around the room, he raised his fists, howling.

Eventually, Yamazaki ended up clinging pathetically to the life-sized

wide.

eyes.

"By the way, Yamazaki, what are you going to do with this doll?"
"I'm giving it to you, Satou. Do whatever you want with it."

Chapter end