Husband's lovely wife 147 Troubled

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"You said there are people who will work for me. I will...I will always have someone who will stay by my side because of their duties. I should never believe them. I...I... did it . I did it.... well mom. But today, when I saw brother Xin saying that Gopa was also involved in this plan. I broke down. *sob*sob*I lost my mind mom. I lost it. I admit, I... admit mom. I did not admit in front of anyone else, but.....but... I admit in front of you that a part of the reason for going into the second mission was to find out the truth of the matter. I was unable to believe that Gopa can betray me . He can trap brother Xin. I was unable to believe it. Am I .....failing you mom? Am I being.. unable to follow the path you asked me to follow? I promise mom...I promise. I did not do it intentionally. It just....it just happened, I just involuntarily started thinking of him as my family member. I did not....I didn't .... do it on purpose. I even tried to command David as his boss, but I am unable to. I know he has always took care of me like a sister instead of his boss. He is scared about my protection after I release him from his post. Everyone mom everyone is good to me. But I promised you...I can't break it.

I can't break the promise mom. I cant, but that promise is breaking me. It is destroying me. It's rotting me from inside..." Zhi Ruo cried out loudly, yelled, shouted in hope if getting some answers.

After crying for some more time she spoke again. This time her voice was filled with guilt not complaints, it was filled with thoughts instead of questions, "What about Qing Shan mom? He is my husband. But, I cannot regard him as one. I should rely on him, but you told me not to. He cares for me , but you asked me not to be moved with this. I tried my best, even today I tried my best to come back home and stay all lonely, like I did all this years, remember you, talk to you.

You know what happened mom, you know, he was waiting for me to come back. Today I felt the need to come back. I realized I have someone who might be waiting for me to come back. He asked me, If I needed something, or if I was hungry. He even got me tea. (Pointing towards the cup of tea) look mom, look, he prepared a warm cup of tea for me. These are all the thing's that I had longed for since you left. I longed for a warm hug that can make me feel I am alive, make me feel I am right. Unfortunately I never got one until today.

I am confused now. Shall I treat him the way you asked me to, or shall I be moved by all this. Shall I allow my heart to fly and feel the happiness or shall I cage it and make it realize it's responsibilities again. What should I do mom, what...

Or have I made a wrong decision in coming back alive today? Should I stayed back and got blasted along with the base? Should I go back to the place where you are ? Tell me mom. What should I do? Where should I go? Save me from this situation." Venting out everything in her heart Zhi Ruo closed her eyes trying to release all the tears that were flowing.

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Sometimes, there are promises, responsibilities which change you completely. Sometimes they make you a outstanding person, while sometimes they cage you while turning your heart into a battle field. Our Zhi Ruo had been caged from her promises which she has been following till date. Will she break the cage and allow her heart to fly? or would she stick to her promises loosing the beautiful experience of life??? Stay tuned to know.

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