Re:Zero Kara Hajimeru Isekai Seikatsu Volume 4 Chapter 61 part2

(Thank you Kizarat, Rodolfo, Roanz, Nair, Lucky, Julian, Aaron, Luis for helping me with proofreading on the Live Draft! <3)

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Subaru nodded in reply.

[Subaru: I don't have it here. I took it with me into the Sanctuary, and it's safe there for now. As for the ones we picked up from the other Witch Cultists, we left them in more capable hands]

The only Gospel in Subaru's possession was the one that belonged to Petelgeuse.
Most of the other Gospels, owned by Petelgeuse's fingers, were destroyed by the Cultists in their final moments, while the few that they managed to salvage were handed over to Crusch's camp to be dealt with accordingly.
In fact, if everything had gone according to plan, they were supposed to have fetched Roswaal from the Sanctuary and met up with Crusch and Anastasia's camps to divide the spoils of their victory over Petelgeuse and the White Whale.

[Beatrice: Have you looked over its contents, I suppose?]

[Subaru: Kind of… I don't know how, but I was just able to read it all of a sudden. I could barely make out that chicken scratch handwriting, but it's basically itemized information. Only…… to me it looks more like a book of orders than a book of prophecies]

Subaru recalled the contents of the Gospel which Echidona's influence had most likely rendered legible.
The majority of the text in Petelgeuse's Gospel simply listed where Petelgeuse must go and what Petelgeuse must do. What would happen afterward was usually omitted entirely, and how the orders were to be carried out was left to its owner's discretion.
And so, rather than an all-powerful book of prophecies, the Witch Cultist Gospels were closer to a guidebook to the future―― and no more than that.

[Subaru: If they could perfectly predict the future, there would’ve been nothing we could do to stop them. So I guess I can see why they're considered incomplete]

[Beatrice: Betty has no interest in its contents. What I need to know is whether it recorded its owner's passing, I suppose]

[Subaru: ――Passing… is not exactly what I'd call it]

As far as Subaru knew, on the final page of Petelgeuse's Gospel,
――Aside from the words "THE END" that Subaru had written in his own blood, the Gospel's final entry was the brief passage:

"Go to Mathers Domain, put silver-haired Half-Witch to Trial"

That hastily constructed sentence didn't give Petelgeuse any indication of what would happen before or after.
Indeed, if that was as much of the future as the Gospel could reveal, it was simply no match for the precision of Subaru's Return by Death.

[Beatrice: ――That's what I thought]

Listening to Subaru's account of what he knew, Beatrice only nodded as if in agreement. Then, she twisted the empty cover in her hands,

[Beatrice: Did anything appear in the Gospel after that, I suppose?]

[Subaru: ……No, I don't think so. At least, the last time I checked, the final entry is still the owner's final assignment. Besides, there's no way anything could show up afterwards, because…]

Just as he was about to say it, Subaru suddenly felt the words freeze in his throat. And only then, did it dawn on him why Beatrice had asked that question.
He lifted his face, and saw that Beatrice was faintly smiling.
Just how many times over the course of this brief encounter had he seen her with that hollow, desolate smile?

[Beatrice: ――The Gospel stopped writing, because that's where its owner's future ends]

[Subaru: N-no, you're not like him at all……]

[Beatrice: It's the same, I suppose. The fact that the Gospel stopped recording the future means that even if I exist for now, I might as well not. ――Can you deny that, I suppose?]

[Subaru: No! You're wro――!]

His impulsive rejection abruptly froze in front of Beatrice's unmoving pupils. She had no need for this superficial consolation. Because, in her heart, she already knew the answer to her question.
Clenching his teeth so hard that they could crack, blood seeped from the corner of Subaru's lips,

[Subaru: Why..’re you…… doing this!]

[Beatrice: …………]

[Subaru: Don't just make up your mind all by yourself! Anyone will go down that road when left to worry all alone! When you get stuck feeling like there's no other way…… you'll just wind up thinking that the most awful thing you see is the reality!]

After countless hardships and countless sighs spilled for his own powerlessness, that was what Subaru had learned.
When assailed by mounting adversities and insurmountable obstacles, the world can seem like a wall.
Even as it forces you to power through it alone, you have its black, tanglings fingers holding back your solitary heart.
That's why,

[Subaru: If it hurts, and you feel like you want it to change…… Then just say it. Just say it to someone who'll listen. Just say you want help and that you're feeling sad…… even if it's me!]

Helpless and trapped in fate's dead-end, wallowing in a despair you could not climb out of with your own strength, when it feels like you're all alone, you need only to look around.
Then, for the first time, you'll notice the extended hand.
When you take that hand, and feel its force pulling you up, only then, will you realize,

――There is no need to give up yet.

[Subaru: How many times, you've done it for me…… so this time let me do it for you……!]

[Beatrice: ……I want y… to do it]

[Subaru: Yes…… that's right, just say the words]

[Beatrice: I want you to help me……]

[Subaru: Yes! That's it, that's it that's it that's it! If you just ask, I'll…]

[Beatrice: I'm sad, and it hurts…… Betty, wants to be saved from this darkness……]

[Subaru: Yeah, just leave it to me――]

A small, trembling finger reached out to Subaru.
Spurred on by the overflowing emotions in his chest, Subaru jumped up and extended out his hand.

He had already completely forgotten the reason he came here.
He was supposed to find a way out of the impasse and ask for Beatrice's help. If anyone was to help him, he had hoped that it'd be her.
But it all vanished when he saw her sorrow and the darkness within her heart. Only the impulse to save a girl from her loneliness continued to push him forward.
Taking her outstretched hand would mean taking on a burden that he could never relinquish. Ignoring the crushing weight already bearing upon his shoulders, Natsuki Subaru chose to embrace yet another impossible burden.
But he didn't mind. Because,

[Beatrice: ――――]

――How could he abandon a girl looking at him with those wavering eyes?

Beatrice had asked for his help.
Her request called forth an unbearable, irresistible emotion. He didn't know why. Nor did it matter. For there was only the screaming of his soul:
Help her. Save her. Because to you, she is――

[Subaru: I will, definitely――]

[Beatrice: In that case……]

Extending a single finger, its tip touched Subaru's.
He grasped her faltering fingers in his hand and wrapped his fingers around her palm.
Gazing into Beatrice's eyes, he saw his reflection in their watery contours. And there, as he watched a large teardrop fall,

[Beatrice: ――I want you to please kill Betty]

――As if to say "I did not ask for such convenient salvation", she let go of Subaru's hand.

※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※

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(The amazing thumbnail fan art is by !)

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I can’t find a better place to cut Part 2 after this point so this one is a bit shorter.
Part 3 will be as long as Parts 1 and 2 combined! ❤

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Chapter 61 Live Draft:

Chapter end