Re:Zero Kara Hajimeru Isekai Seikatsu Volume 4 Chapter 31 part2

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――After returning Patrasche to the stables, Subaru returned to the Mansion holding Petra’s hand since she wanted to hold hands with him. Fortunately, according to Petra, no noteworthy changes had taken place since Subaru left the Mansion.

[Petra: Right now, big-sister-sama Frederica is away inspecting the Boundaries in the mountains, so she'll be back after a little while…… maybe]

As Petra informed him of the Head Maid's absence, Subaru recalled the Boundaries in the mountains―― that is, the magical crystals that sealed out the Wolgarms. Though the Wolgarms in the mountains were supposed to have been eradicated, the Boundaries remained in service even now.
It seems, aside from the Wolgarms, there were other dangerous Mabeasts that needed to be kept out by the Boundaries, and, as the managers of Arlam village, the task of maintaining them fell to the subjects of the Roswaal camp.

[Petra: Once everyone in village comes back, they can check for breaks in the Boundaries themselves, but since everyone hadn't come back yet, big-sister-sama Frederica is doing it]

[Subaru: Now that you're calling her big-sister-sama, it sounds like you two have gotten closer while I was away, kinda makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Also, all the villagers are all back now, you know]

[Petra: Really?]

When he pointed in the direction of the village, Petra's eyes lighted up and she squeaked out an excited cry.
Her family was among those who evacuated to the Capital, so both her parents had already been safely returned to the village. But even so, she was still separated from neighbors and friends. Now that she knew they were safe, Petra happily clapped her hands.

[Subaru: Yeah, you should go see them later. I'm sure they'll be excited to see you in your maid's uniform]

[Petra: Yeah. Once I get permission from big-sister-sama Frederica, I'll go change!]

[Subaru: No, there's no need to change…… You look cute in it, you should let everyone see……]

[Petra: Ehehee, cute? I'm cute?]

[Subaru: Yeah you’re cute, you’re cute. So everyone sh……]

[Petra: Yeah! I'll change and go see them!]

It pretty much turned into a situation where no matter how many times he tried saying [No it's fine], his voice kept getting canceled out by her peals of thunder.

Cracking the bones of his neck, […ah], Subaru exhaled a deep breath, and stopped.
They were on the Mansion's second floor―― rubbing his soles on the carpet, he had lifted up his face and was staring at a door. Petra, feeling a little lonely, let go of his fingers. She was a smart girl who could read the mood.

[Subaru: I’m sorry, Petra. Let me be alone with her, for a little while]

[Petra: Mn, I understand. I'll go finish cleaning up the west wing, please call me if you need anything]

As though she knew even before Subaru spoke, Petra put away her young girl's demeanors and returned to the role of a maid, and, with a slight bow, she left him there.

Poking, and――

[Subaru: I asked myself what I should give priority to…… and wound up coming here]

Pushing open the door, Subaru slowly stepped into the room.

Her eyes were closed, and not even her faint breathing could be heard. Only, the silent rise and fall of her chest gave proof that she still lives.

[Subaru: ……Rem]

Lending voice to that name, who could understand the vortex of emotions carried within that single word. That unstoppable torrent of emotion, meant for only one person in the world.
He had resolved to be strong, to turn his heart to steel, to not waver in the face of all difficulties. Resolved to no longer depend on others, and to hold his head high.

――But, in front of her, all this determination scattered into mist.

The Subaru who told Emilia to leave it to him, who took her hand and told her he will find a way, the Subaru who once did so with so much strength. The facade of that resolve fell apart the moment he stood before her.

[Subaru: I'm pathetic…… I'm so… weak]

As soon as he was in front of Rem, Subaru returned to the weak Natsuki Subaru he once was.
Returned to the time before Rem’s devotion had affirmed him, to the time before he first stood up.

Slowly, he reached out to her sleeping face and gently swept aside the hair on her forehead. Asleep, her expression did not change, and he had not found single a clue to restoring her eaten self.
But if he did nothing and let her go on sleeping like this, it would be certain that even her vessel will be lost as well.

[Subaru: Maybe you didn't mean to, but because of you, my resolve has been hardened]

Weak and fragile, the surface of his heart that would break off at the touch was slowly covered over with steel.
The fact that Rem's sleeping figure, and the certain beating of her heart, still existed, allowed Natsuki Subaru to return to that instant. To the emotions of that moment when he was reborn.

[Subaru: Because you told me that it's alright even if I am weak, you told me that you will help me become stronger…… I will find a way no matter what it takes, and stand up no matter how many times I fall]

No matter what pain, what suffering, what hardship or unpleasantness awaited him, the love of her entire soul healed Subaru, and sent the desire into his heart to move forward in return.

[Subaru: You, and Petra and everyone else…… I will bring you all out safely]

He gently stroked her sleeping forehead, and suppressed his feeling that wanted to touch her more. A gust of wind had blown into the room, while he sat silently in the chair at her bedside.
That portion of the limited time he had, the meager, precious time that he needed to conserve, he gave it all to her. At this point, this was the best that Subaru could do to offer her his heart.

For how long had time passed in this stillness.
Suddenly, Subaru's consciousness that was vacantly staring at Rem in a daze was pulled back to reality by the sound of a knock on the door. Lifting his face, and turning to the door, [Yes], he answered, and,

[????: Apologies for the intrusion. ――I am glad you've returned safely, Subaru-sama]

Quietly pushing open the door, a tall woman entered the room.

Seeing Subaru at the sleeping Rem's side, she slightly lowered her head, and,

[Frederica: There are a variety of questions I wish to ask you…… and I am sure Subaru-sama feels the same. Let us change the location. Although she is asleep, I doubt these are things that she would especially like to hear]

[Subaru: That sure helped speed things along. ……The things I want to ask you, you already have some idea what they are?]

[Frederica: Possibly]

Hearing that modest response, Subaru spilled out a small sigh and stood up from his chair. He touched Rem's sleeping cheeks one last time, and, as if to sever his reluctance, he clenched tight his fist,

[Subaru: Your rowdy, foul-mouthed little brother, that Gap-Moe who looks like a Loli but is a Granny on the inside. The Sanctuary that is the Experimental Grounds, and Roswaal true intentions. Let me look forward to seeing how much of that you can answer]

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This is the first time I’ve cried since translating the Interludes.

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I have to thank Christian B. for sending me a draft to this part. But because this part was about Rem, I felt I absolutely had to translate it myself. I checked it against his draft afterward, and it helped me improve mine in a few places. ❤

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I will spend the rest of the day on Arc 6 and continue the chapter tomorrow.

This Friday is my father’s birthday, so I’ll be taking a day off that day.

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Chapter end