My Husband Hates Me, But He Lost His Memories Chapter 85.2

Published at 17th of November 2023 02:05:33 PM

Theodore flinched and reacted immediately. He suddenly raised his head and looked at me with a surprised face. I looked straight into his eyes and spoke clearly.

“You… Are you crazy? Why do you do that? Did I ask you to do that?”

“…That.”

“Did you think I would be grateful if you did that? How…!”

In a surge of emotion, I started to huff and puff, then took a deep breath and clenched my fists.

…I thought it was somehow strange.

My physical condition was strangely good. I recovered quickly and was full of energy, as if it wasn’t my body…

There was no way that was possible, but no matter how much I thought about it, I was puzzled.

And I’m just now on my way back after hearing the whole reason.

‘…A magic tool that distributes life force?’

‘Yes, Master… is breathing his life force into Madam. He secretly goes to Madam while you are sleeping…’

‘…….’

…I was shocked.

And I got angry.

“All this is for your self-satisfaction and nothing more.”

“…….”

“I am not thankful at all. Taking your life away to give it to me…”

How can a person be so arbitrary and irresponsible?

He might die, but for the head of this household to commit slow suicide…

Moreover, I don’t want to feel indebted to him in this way.

“If you’re planning on sacrificing your life to ask for my forgiveness, then just quit it.”

For reasons that even I don’t know, my eyes become teary. It was difficult to figure out why I was feeling so depressed.

“…I’m not doing this to ask for your forgiveness.”

Theodore said. His voice was calm and gentle, but there was a hint of sadness in it.

“I just… want to give you my life.”

“…….”

“As long as I can save you, I will do that.”

“…….”

“I will give my life to you again and again.”

…After hearing his words, the first thing that came to my mind was, ‘Why?’

I couldn’t understand why he was doing this. Because he felt guilty about me? Because he was sorry? But that alone couldn’t explain it. Who in the world would give their life force to another person just because they felt sorry?

So I can’t help but ask. What is the reason that he was doing this? What on earth does he want from me…?

He gave me his life force purely because he wanted to save me… Something like that… I couldn’t easily believe it.

“…Why are you doing this?”

“…….”

“Are you doing this because you feel sorry for me? Because you feel guilty? Do you want me to forgive you?”

“…….”

“I don’t understand, I don’t. You’re doing this…”

I shook my head in confusion. My heart trembled with a mysterious hunch. At this very moment, I have a feeling that the biggest shock will hit me like a tidal wave.

I wanted to hear the truth that would come out of his mouth, but at the same time, I wanted to turn away from it.

A long silence followed. After a while, Theodore opened his mouth.

“To some extent, yes.”

“…….”

“But that’s not all.”

His voice sounded calm. However, he soon raised his head and the eyes staring at me contained a heat that I could not handle.

It’s so unfamiliar, but it feels like I’ve seen it before a long time ago…

“…I’ve almost lost you so many times already that I can’t deny it anymore.”

“…….”

“Unlike before… It was no longer possible to deceive myself and rationalize it.”

The temperature inside his blue eyes rose even higher. I felt like I was going to get burned from the heat reaching me.

…It was so hard to believe that it made me hesitate and shook my head.

His confession, his eyes, everything feels like a lie.

“…No, don’t say it.”

I think I understand.

In fact, I may have already known it for a long time.

Both of us.

However, it was an intangible arrow, it left no visible traces.

It just pierced my heart painfully and left a scar that will never heal.

Because each of us was in our own misfortune, it couldn’t be exciting and sweet from the beginning.

The pounding of the heart, the tingling sensation, all of which we felt for the first time in our lives only made us feel sick.

Nevertheless, what I tried to hold on to and what he tried to let go.

What he has been turning a blind eye to forever…

And I gave up in the end, leaving only scars.

“…Only now.”

“Still, this is my truth.”

“It’s too late. It’s much, much too late.”

As I turned around and tried to leave the lounge, Theodore caught me.

His body temperature was cold as he approached me. I didn’t know whether my body was shaking because of the cold or because I was afraid.

“I…”

He gave a name to an emotion he had never given a name to far too late.

It wasn’t until today that I gave up on it.

“…I love you.”

After hearing the words he said, I felt distant. It felt like my existence was falling into an infinitely deep swamp.

I closed my eyes and covered my ears. I would rather deny this reality.

However, everything was extremely clear, including the hot tears flowing down my cheeks and the tingling pain in my heart.

In this broken reality, there was a heart that could never be revealed.

Even though spring will never come to the frozen land.

“…Now I want to fully accept this feeling.”

Selfishly, he confessed his love.

Knowing that even that confession would hurt me.

I cried and shook my head.

I felt like my heart was being torn apart.

“No, I can’t… accept it anymore.”

“…….”

“…Terrible. You’re such a terrible person, you…”

He held me tight and wouldn’t let go. For a long time, I couldn’t escape his embrace.

I can give up my life, but I can’t do anything about that selfishness.

Chapter end