chap 14

“Awaken.”


I opened my eyes, feeling like I’d heard someone’s voice.
“Hey. What’re you sleeping for, dumbass? Are you a moron? Well, are you? You are, aren’t you? You’re such a moron. I mean, you’re trash, too. I get it, I get it. You’re a hopeless piece of trash. I know that better than anyone.”
For some reason, I was suddenly getting dissed.
Hold on.
Why?
What for?
Where was I lying? I could see the sky.
It looked like I’d been sleeping. And I’d woken up. That much, I understood.
But still.
What was this?
The guy who’d just finished dissing me like crazy crouched down, looked at me, and said...
“...Man.”
“Huh?” I said, dumbfounded.
His skin was a greenish-yellow, his nose low and smushed, with fanglike teeth protruding from a mouth that looked like a gaping wound.
His ears were huge. He was, yeah, to be blunt—hideous.
The wispy excuse for hair growing out of the top of his head was curly, like a natural perm, and that pissed me off, too.
Well, ignoring the curly hair for a moment, I had more important questions.
“Man, you’re a goblin?” I asked.
“Huh?” The curly-haired goblin’s face distorted with irritation and his head cocked to the side. “Of course I am, duh. You’re a goblin, too, man.”
“Huh?” I raised my hands, bringing them in front of my face. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. “What are... these hands?” These hands.
My hands.
They really were green.

 

My arms, too. They were kind of weird. Sort of scrawny.
This was wrong. All of it.
“What? Something the matter? Well, you always were a stupid piece of trash, man.” The curly-haired goblin mussed his own curly hair, turning to look behind him. “Hey, Gobuhiro woke up!”
“...Gobuhiro?”
No, hold on, that wasn’t my name—or was it?
Huh?
What was my name, if that wasn’t it?
Calm down. My name. It was my own name; I had to know this. There was no way I wouldn’t.
Pressing a hand against my chest, I took a deep breath.
Now, I just had to say my own name as it came into my head.
Okay. “Gobu...hiro.” Seriously?
While I was still in shock, some other goblins rushed over. Naturally (?), as might be expected (?), all of them were goblins.
It was a gob of goblins.
There were one... two... three... four goblins, not counting the curlyhaired goblin.
No, I was a goblin, too, so, there were four, plus me, plus the curlyhaired goblin, making it five... six goblins, huh.
There were nothing but goblins.
No, wait?
One of them was awfully big for a goblin. No goblin should have been that big, so he wasn’t a goblin.
A hobgoblin, huh?
He was wearing rather heavy equipment, too. Was it because he was a hobgoblin? I didn’t even know anymore.
“Gobuhiro...?” A goblin with strangely silky hair and a clean face, for a goblin at least, but who was still unquestionably a goblin, leaned over my (goblin) face to get a closer look at me. “Are you okay?”
“Huh? Uhh... Yeah. Sure...”
I wished he wouldn’t call me Gobuhiro like it was natural, but I was, in fact, Gobuhiro, so these people (goblins) had no choice but to call me that. While those sorts of thoughts swirled through my head, I (a goblin) sat up.
“I’m fine... I guess,” I said. “Yeah. Fine... I think, Gobuto.”
“You are? Well, good.”
Even though he was a goblin, Gobuto’s smile was awfully refreshing.
—Hold on.
Did I call him Gobuto just now?
Gobuto gently clapped me on the shoulder. Even though he was a goblin.
“I know you push yourself too hard sometimes, Gobuhiro. If there’s anything wrong, I hope you’ll tell me.”
“Ha ha... I don’t think there is, though...”
I seriously didn’t think there was, but maybe I was pushing myself, just a bit...?
He’d said he wanted me to tell him, so I could, or rather I wanted to, but how was I supposed to explain this? When I woke up, there was a goblin right next to me? And I was a goblin? And there were other goblins, too?
“Nyuh? Is somethin’ wrong, Gobu-kun?”
“No, it’s nothing, Yumelin...” Yumelin?
The goblin with the long hair, who was carrying a bow and had crouched down next to me, was Yumelin? Yeah, that was right. It was Yumelin. When I asked myself what her name was again, I only got the same answer as before. Yumelin. This female goblin was Yumelin.
I knew Yumelin was Yumelin, but I couldn’t help but feel something was off. What was it that was off, though? That I couldn’t say.
“Are you really... all right?” asked the female goblin behind Yumelin.
That female goblin behind Yumelin, the one wearing the pointy hat... I knew her, too. The staff-like stick she was clutching, and that timidity of hers, were familiar.
“I’m fine. Just fine,” I said. “I’m fine... Okay?”
However, there might have been something wrong. No, not just something, I couldn’t shake the doubt that everything was wrong here.
I spoke her name, as if confirming it for myself. “Shiholin.”
“Th-That’s... good then...”
“...Heheh.” I laughed despite myself.
I’d known it.
It was Shiholin.
Of course. I mean, she was Shiholin.
The one who trudged up next, the big hobgoblin who wasn’t a goblin, he was...
“E-Erm... G-Good morning, Gobuhiro-kun.”
“Yeah... Good morning... Hobuzo.” I knew it.
I very clearly knew. About Hobuzo.
No matter how I thought about it, there was nothing wrong.
I, Gobuhiro, was here, and Gobuto was here, and so were Yumelin, and Shiholin, and Hobuzo, and finally Gobuta.
Five goblins, and one hobgoblin. Six people in total.
“Was I having a weird dream?” I murmured to myself.
“Hoeh?” Yumelin cocked her head to the side. “Just now, Gobu-kun, did you call Yumelin?”
“No, I did not. I mean, listen, Yumelin, if you call me Gobu-kun, everyone but Hobuzo could be Gobu-kun, so I’m not sure that works. I get the feeling I’ve said this before, though...”
“Oh, wow. You did? You were tellin’ Yumelin that before?”
“I feel like I did... Or maybe I didn’t... Hmm...”
“Well, it’s just like you’re sayin’, Gobu-kun. Ah, Yumelin went and called you Gobu-kun again. Sorry, Gobu-kun. Ah.”
“Do you have, like, zero capacity for learning, Yumelin?! I mean, seriously!” Gobuta shouted.
“Shove off, Gobuta! Yumelin doesn’t want to be hearin’ that from you! You’re just a Gobuta, Gobuta!”
“I’m a what now?! I don’t get it! I don’t get anything you say!” This scene of Gobuta and Yumelin bickering was familiar, too.
I couldn’t work out what was up yet, but I was here, and this was where I belonged, and yet I was thinking it felt off somehow. That was a bit strange of me. Still, I couldn’t help but feel that way.
Shaking my head, I looked around.
The walls were collapsing. The floor was rotten, and the grassy ground underneath was exposed. Only, like, a fifth of the ceiling was left. The blue of the sky stung my eyes.
It felt like a ruin. That was because these were, in fact, ruins.
“Hmph...” Gobuta leaned back against the wall, crossing his arms.
“Still, though. This place, it’s seriously rough. Like, even worse than I’d heard...”
When Gobuta said that in a self-mocking manner, Shiholin shrunk her neck into her body, seeming ashamed for some reason, and Hobuzo sat down in dejection.
“It looks like the place hasn’t been maintained in a while,” Gobuto said with a shrug. “It’s certainly a lot different from before. But, well, maybe it’s all in how we look at it?”
“How we look at it?” Gobuta echoed with a snort. “How are we supposed to look at this?”
“It’s a good place for a fresh start, wouldn’t you say?”
“How?!”
“F-From zero!” Shiholin suddenly exclaimed. “I-If... you look at it... llike we’re starting over, from zero... I mean, we actually have nothing...”
“Zero, huh.” Yume chewed on her index finger, puffing up one cheek as she did. “But, you know, Yumelin’s thinkin’ maybe what we had back there wasn’t better than nothin’. Though, if you’re gonna ask what’s worse than nothin’, Yumelin doesn’t know.”
“Y-Yeah...” Hobuzo was drawing on the ground with his fat fingers. “For, well... orphans, like us... we’re in a bad position back there. I mean, we had no position at all...”
I looked up to the sky again. The color of the sky was, obviously, no different in the New City than it was here in the Old City.
Or it shouldn’t have been.
But somehow, it looked totally different.
Like the sky here was faded, you could say.
I really got that sense of, Ohh, how we’ve fallen...
It was something we chose for ourselves.
For us goblins, the most important thing was the blood of our fathers. For the hobgoblins that coexisted with us, that was no different. When we gave our names, first we gave the name of our bloodline. Whether we had inherited a name from our fathers or not. That was what decided most, though not everything, about our lives.
If a goblin or hobgoblin had five or ten wives, and each of them gave birth to children, not all of them could inherit the bloodline name.
As for the father’s financial power—well, blood relations came into play here, too. It was basically a question of how good their blood was. If they had five children, maybe one or two could inherit the bloodline name. They were chosen based on divination, appearance, or how good or bad the birth mother was. Only the ones given the bloodline name were acknowledged as his true children.
The rest became orphans.
No matter how wealthy they were, or how good their blood, it was rare for some benevolent goblin to take in orphans. Once they were weaned, they were thrown out of their father’s house.
That was why I, for instance, didn’t even know my own parents’ faces. Gobuta said he didn’t, either, and Shiholin and Hobuzo only knew their mothers.
Yumelin was an orphan born to orphans. Gobuto never talked about his situation, so there may have been something up there.
Regardless, an orphan was an orphan.
“Well, yeah,” Gobuta said, putting his hand on a hole in the wall. “Even if we stayed back there, we’d just be forced to work for free until we eventually bit it. There’s nothing here, and we can’t even feed ourselves properly, but we’ll at least be able to choose where we die. ...Oh? Did I just say something cool? That was cool just now, right? Right?”
“Not particularly...” I muttered.
“Shut up, Gobupirooo! Can a lame-o like you judge my coolness?! Hell no, you moron!”
“Ha... ha ha...” Hobuzo rubbed his stomach. “B-But... first we have to take care of, you know, getting something to eat...”
There was a loud growl from Yumelin’s stomach. “Ohhh! It’s really rumblin’!”
“Food...” As for Shiholin, depending on how you looked at her, she might have seemed ready to die of starvation at any moment.
“Food, huh...” I looked to Gobuto, despite myself.
“It’s okay.” Gobuto accepted my gaze, and despite being a goblin, he grinned. “It’ll work out somehow. Let’s all figure it out together.”

1. A Tale to be Told
“Uh, nyuh, nyuh, nyuh, nyuh...” Drawing her bowstring back all the way, sproing, Yumelin let it loose. “Mrrowr!” Whoosh, the arrow flew.
The solitary crow, sitting up in a high place was—not struck by the arrow. There was a flutter of wings as the crow took off.
The arrow, meanwhile, didn’t even reach the crow’s perch, losing velocity and plummeting to the ground.
“...Noo-hyoo.” Yumelin slumped her shoulders.
I don’t know... I couldn’t find the words to console her. Honestly, I was nowhere near as disappointed as Yumelin. It didn’t feel like a near miss, after all.
If you were to ask me if, for even for a second, I’d believed she might hit, then no. No, I had not.
Also, I was so hungry that I felt sluggish.
This was rough.
It was getting pretty bad.
“Heh, heh, heh, heh...” Gobuta was spreadeagled. “You suck... Heh, heh, heh, heh, heh...”
“Don’t say Yumelin sucks!” Yumelin said, half-crying. “Yumelin, she’s givin’ it her best, okay? She’s not good at shootin’ with a bow, so it’s not her fault! If you’re gonna say Yumelin sucks, you do it instead, Gobuta!”
“...Screw that. I don’t wanna move... Also, stop shouting... It’s not good when your stomach’s empty...”
“Fuh, gyuh. Gyuh, gyuh, gyuh!” At last, Yumelin’s anger exploded— only it didn’t, and she deflated there. “...Ooh-hyooh. So hungry...”
I get you, I thought.
I honestly, seriously, sincerely understood.
Geez. I couldn’t even bring myself to blame Gobuta. I lacked the will. I might not have been lying down like Gobuta, but at some point I’d squatted down, and I hadn’t gotten back up since.
It wasn’t just me; Hobuzo was also sitting down, looking up at the sky, unmoving. Shiholin was crouching. Even Gobuto— “A crow isn’t going to be enough,” I murmured.
But he was Gobuto, after all. Gobuto stood right up, fist thrust upwards in manly fashion. “Even if you could shoot down the crow, it wouldn’t be enough to fill our bellies. A crow isn’t enough. We need to find different prey!”
“No, but...” I started to argue back, which actually surprised me. “What should we do? I mean, in the Old City, there are... orphans like us... or crows, and that’s about it. There might be rats, too...”
“Is it time for that?” Gobuta’s throat made a strange gurgling sound. “Is it time for cannibalism...? I mean... they do it, right...? The guys here in the Old City...? I wouldn’t blame them...”
“Gooobliiin...” Hobuzo whispered to himself. It was a scary voice, like we were hearing it come from the depths of the earth.
Looking over, Hobuzo’s eyes were bloodshot, with the whites showing, and there was drool running from his mouth. There was no kidding around here; he was in a seriously dangerous state.
“Anything but that...” Shiholin’s shoulders trembled. “Anything but that, no... As goblins... we have to do anything but that...”
“Ohhhh....” Yumelin was casting a heated glance in Shiholin’s direction. “Now that you’re mentionin’ it, for a while now, Yumelin’s been thinkin’ Shiholin looks mighty tasty...”
“Eek!” Shiholin jumped back.
“No, no!” Gobuto said with, probably forced, cheer in his voice. “We’re obviously not resorting to cannibalism. That’s our last resort—no, I’m kidding, okay? Kidding. That’s not it. What I want to say is, I don’t think there’s any need for us to stay put here in the Old City.”
“Whaa...?” Gobuta looked at Gobuto with vacant eyes. “No, but... we came all this way. We left the New City, so going back’d be...”
“I never said anything about going back.”
“Huh? If we’re not going back, where...” “Not back...” I said, blinking.
“Where, then...?” Shiholin asked, blinking. “Could you... mean?”
“Nuhoh...?” Maybe copying Shiholin, Yume looked off into the distance.
“Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...” Hobuzo was groaning.
Gobuto nodded firmly. “Outside. We’ll go outside Damuro. I’m sure you know all know this, but there’s a whole wide world outside Damuro.”
“But still...” I hung my head. “Isn’t it dangerous? Outside, I mean. Not that I’d really know. There are, like, humans, and orcs, and stuff...”
“Gobuhiro. We haven’t run into any, but humans come here to the Old City, too.”
“That’s... Well, yeah, I’ve heard the stories.”
“But there’re apparently no orcs anywhere near Damuro. They’re much further away, in some area called Nananka or Ishmal. That’s where the orcs and the undead live.”
“Gobuto, you...” Gobuta looked slightly abashed. “You really know your stuff. Where’d you hear all that?”
“Well, a little from here, a little from there.” Gobuta said with a smile that felt refreshing, even though he was a goblin.
I narrowed my eyes, thinking, He’s a mysterious guy, all over again.
We were all orphans, but there was something different about Gobuto. He was awfully knowledgeable, for instance, and calm, too. Ever since we first met, he had been like that.
Maybe Gobuto wasn’t really an orphan? Couldn’t he be a respectable goblin, with a bloodline name?
But that wasn’t possible. If he weren’t an orphan, there’s no way he’d be with us. If he had a bloodline name, he’d be back in the New City, living it up.
“Out...side...” Shiholin echoed, hesitantly. “What’s out there? What kind of place is outside...?”
“This is all just what I’ve heard, but...” Gobuto stamped the ground for effect. “The land goes on forever and ever.”
“Fukyoh...” Yumelin clasped her cheeks. “Forever ’n’ ever...?”
“That’s right. It continues on even beyond Nananka and Ishmal. As for what’s out there, I don’t know, either. But precisely because I don’t know, I want to find out.”
I brought a hand to my chest. What was this? In my chest there was a pounding, rushing sensation. It was a weird feeling, one I’d never felt before.
“Besides,” Gobuto went on, “we goblins haven’t been in Damuro forever. We apparently came from the north of Ishmal and Nananka, or from the west. But this No-Life King guy, he made an Alliance of Kings, and that gave birth to a goblin king. We goblins hadn’t had a king before then. That’s why the orcs mocked and tyrannized us.
Though, even after we joined the Alliance of Kings, we were still in a lowly position. Goblins were treated as foot soldiers, and many, many of our people died on the front lines. Still, out of a desire for recognition from the other races, we goblins never complained, and we fought on bravely. That was why Damuro was given to us as our kingdom’s domain. This is the land our ancestors won, and that’s why it’s our holy land. That’s why we goblins cling to Damuro, no matter what happens. The New City in particular, which still looks like it did when humans lived there, is a point of pride, paid for in goblin blood. We can never abandon it. No matter what, it must be defended...”
“H-Hey, Gobuto.” Gobuta was blinking. “This story is getting complicated, and I don’t really get it. You were talking about that NoTime Kong guy, and his Alliance of Rings, but... I dunno, but if you have something you’re trying to say, could you make it shorter? Get to the point. No, let me clarify here! It’s not like I can’t understand, okay?! I’m fine, but these other morons, you’re gonna have to break it down a bit more for them...”
“Sorry, sorry.” Gobuto scratched his head. “Um, basically, the world’s a big place. We goblins are building beneath the New City and expanding into it. But we don’t try to go outside. The truth is, there are rumors that we have a secret pact with the humans... No, that doesn’t matter. Anyway, I think it’s weird. If the world goes on forever, what’s the need for us to stay put here? We have legs on which to walk. If we walk, we move forward. Can’t we go where we want?”
“Nghboaghhhhhh...!” Hobuzo suddenly leapt to his feet. “I’m going! Let’s go! Food, food, food! Let’s go get food! Foooood! Food to eeeeaaaat!”
“Ugahhh!” Yumelin threw her arms up. “Foooooooooood...!” Shiholin looked at Gobuto like he was blindingly bright. “N-No, but still!” Was Gobuta still going to be stubborn? “Even if we do go outside, there’s no guarantee there’s food, right? Man, do you think it’s worth that risk?”
Before Gobuto could open his mouth, I spoke up. “You afraid?”
“Huh?! Wh-Who said anything about being afraid?! I never said a word about it!”
“Then what are you dragging your feet for?”
“I-I am not! I’m just—”
“Just what? I mean, you’re saying it’s risky, but staying here to look for food that may not exist, or sitting around and quietly waiting for prey that may never come, that’s way more risky, isn’t it?”
“Sh-Shut up, Gobupiro! I don’t need to hear this from you, I’m just... taking a contrary position, or whatever, okay?! It’s necessary! Someone has to do it! You’re a bunch of idiots, so you don’t see how important I am, you little shits!” Gobuta got up and surged forward. “Come on! Let’s go, people! Follow me already! It’s a crazy, wide world out there! We can go anywhere, if we just get it into our heads to do so!”
Gobuto and I exchanged glances. Even Gobuto had to smile wryly at this.
First Hobuzo followed after Gobuta, then I reluctantly followed. Gobuto grabbed Shiholin’s arm and pulled her to her feet. Yumelin locked arms with Shiholin and started skipping. Shiholin looked ready to trip at any second.
That was how we left the Old City of Damuro.
With Gobuto’s story acting as a catalyst, our hopes were bigger than our fears—but the further we got from the Old City, the more deflated they became.
We were, after all, on the verge of starvation.
I’d even started to have fond recollections of the time I was a forced laborer, digging holes in the Underground City.
The sole way for an orphan to come by terrible food, and never in sufficient quantities, was to dig holes.
The only tools used were old swords and such that were close to breaking. With those, orphans chipped away at the unbelievably hard bedrock, little by little. We carried the excavated stone to a designated spot. From morning to night, it went on and on, and then, finally, we were given a single meal. Two small dumplings, and one bowl of soup. It wasn’t filling, obviously, but it was better than nothing.
Though, honestly, it was only barely better than nothing. If possible, I didn’t want to have to dig holes. But it wasn’t like cattle from the good goblin houses could conveniently escape for us to catch every day.
The place where leftover food was discarded was generally occupied by a bunch of tough orphans, so we could only get at the scraps once in a rare while. When the king occasionally distributed aid, clashes over it broke out instantly.
Hole digging was our lifeline. If not for the hole digging work, it was likely none of the orphans would survive.
Those dumplings that tasted like they were packed with mud. The piss-like soup that had almost nothing solid in it tasted bad, even on an empty stomach. The food was disgusting. That was true, but for us now, I had to think that even those dumplings and that soup might have tasted delicious.
When we’d decided to leave the New City, we’d been in a celebratory mood, thinking we’d never have to eat mud dumplings and piss soup again. But what happened? Not only were mud dumplings and piss soup better than nothing, but without them, we were in trouble. We wanted them back. Now that I’d realized that, I thought of nothing but mud dumplings and piss soup.
If I looked down at the ground it felt like I might have collapsed, so I kept my head up as I walked.
The sun was shining, and at this rate, I felt like I was going to dry up.
Thud! There was a loud sound.
Looking over, Gobuta had faceplanted into the ground, his butt thrust up into the air.
“Y-You okay, Gobuta?” I asked.
“Nngh...” There was a weird sound. No, wait, that was Gobuta.
“Man... are you... eating something?” I asked.
“Washagushagushagoshawashagoshagushagusho.”
“Ahhh!” Yumelin rushed over, pointed at Gobuta. “Gobutaaa! He’s eatin’ grass!”
“Grass...” Gobuto dropped to his knees as if collapsing. “Grass, huh? That was an option.”
“Huh? Whoa... Gobuto? I mean, grass is just grass, you know...?”
“Thaaaaaaaanks!” Hobuzo got down in a kowtow-like position, and started violently stuffing grass into his mouth. “Uoghuohguohguogoh! Hobuhobuhobuboh!”
“No?! Hobuzo?!” My vision blurred with tears. “It’s grass, okay?! Grass! You can’t eat grass, right?! I mean, it’s grass! No, but that piss soup we used to drink had something that looked like grass in it... It was super bitter and tasted awful, though...”
“Gubwahhhhh?!” Gobuta puked up a massive amount of grass. “It’s bitttttttttttttttttttttter?!”
“Uohhhaegh?!” Hobuzo covered his mouth with both hands, wincing at the bitterness.
“Yuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck?
!”
This was what would later come to be known as the Grass Incident.
While watching Gobuta writhe in agony, I rubbed Hobuzo’s back. “I knew it... Grass is just grass...”
“Y-Yeah... I-I know, but... I-I... couldn’t hold back... I was hungry, so hungry... I lost control...”
“D-Don’t cry, Moguzo. No, I mean Hobuzo. Huh...?”
Had I just referred to Hobuzo as Moguzo? Was I imagining that? I had to be. Hobuzo was Hobuzo.
Shiholin gulped.
“What’s wrong?” Gobuto asked. He sounded like he was about to die, which wasn’t like Gobuto at all.
“Th-This...” Shiholin pulled something from out of the grass.
“Nyoh?” Yumelin took it from Shiholin, lifting it up as she cocked her head at it.
My eyes went wide. “Th-That’s...”
“Whoa.” Gobuta pointed at me, his face still covered in grass. “Gobuhiro, man, you’ve always got those sleepy eyes, so when you open them wide like that, it’s creepy. Like, seriously creepy. Too creepy.”
“Gobuta, man, you seriously need to shut up,” I said. “The more important thing is—”
“Mushrooms, huh...” Gobuto gulped... swallowing his spit.
Yes.
What Shiholin had found in the grass, and what Yumelin was now holding aloft, was yellowish and slimy, with a cap and a stem.
It was a mushroom.
No matter where or how I looked at it, it was nothing if not a mushroom, but oh, it was a glorious example of mushroomness.
M-U-S-H-R-O-O-M. It was a mushroom.
That’s moorhsum backwards, by the way.
“W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-Wait!” I spread my arms wide, stopping everyone. “It’s a mushroom, sure, but they’re dangerous! I hear they’re dangerous, okay? You know that, right?! Even if it looks tasty, they can be pretty poisonous! This is common sense, yeah?! I’ve heard of people in the New City who died from eating mushrooms, okay?!”
“You’re right,” Gobuta nodded. “I’ve heard that. But I’ve only heard it...”
“Yumelin.” Gobuto? Why... did he have such a nice smile now?
No, he’d always had a nice smile, but still, that had to be his best smile ever, didn’t it?
“Give me the mushroom.”
“D-Don’t be hasty, Gobuto!” I violently shook my head. “You can’t! If anything were to happen to you, then what?! If someone has to test for poison, can’t we make Gobuta do it?! Yeah! That would be—”
“Hey, Parupiro! No, Gobupiro! What do you mean, I should test for poison?! Are you saying if I eat poison and die, you’re fine with that?! Man, is that how you’ve felt about me?! I’m gonna cry here, dammit!”
“A little poison isn’t going to kill you, is it?!” I shot back. “I mean, they say the more hatable you are, the further you’ll go in life, right?!”
“Oh?! So, you admit I’m going places, huh?! The fact is, I’m really gonna be going places! The world’s my oyster, dammit!”
“Ha ha.” Gobuto sounded bizarrely refreshing, even by his standards. “It’s okay, Gobuhiro. I’m confident about this. There’s nothing wrong with that mushroom. For some reason, I can tell. I can see it.”
“Gobuto-kun...” Shiholin crossed her arms, staring piercingly at Gobuto. “You can see it? What exactly can you see?”
“Anyway, I just can! I see it! I can see things! I say I see it, so I see it! I see so much, it’s scary! Scary! So scary! What should I do?! I can see it!”
“Gobuto!” I hurriedly grabbed Gobuto’s shoulders and shook him. “Hey, Gobuto, you’re acting strange! Get it together, Gobuto! If you go crazy on us, too, what am I going to do?!” “Okay, Yumelin!” Gobuta shouted.
“Onyoh?!”
“That mushroom, give it here! I’ll eat the whole thing! I’ll polish it right off!”
“No, Yumelin! Me! Give me the mushroom! I’ll eat it! I have to eat it! This is fate!” Gobuto cried.
“No, Gobuto, I told you, you can’t!” I pleaded. “Please, Gobuto...!” “...Me.” For a moment, I didn’t know whose voice it was.
To think he could speak in such a terrifying voice, forcing every one of us to shudder in fear.
“I’ll eat it! Give me the mushroom! I’ll eat it all! Me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, meeeeeeeeeeee...!”
“Nyueek?!”
Hobuzo snatched the mushroom from a totally intimidated Yumelin.
Gobuto, Gobuta, Shiholin and I, we all looked on in four different states of shock.
Hobuzo took the mushroom— —and he ate it.
He didn’t even chew.
He swallowed it whole.
“...Chew, at least,” Gobuta said.
“Mushrooms!” Hobuzo bellowed. “Go down smooth! They’re a drink!” No.
That’s not how it works... right?
I couldn’t say it. I didn’t have the guts to make a witty comeback.
“Not enoooooooooouuuuuuuuuugh!”
Hobuzo got down on all fours, searching for mushrooms. If we looked, maybe there were a lot? The moment Hobuzo found them, he stuffed them into his mouth.
“Mushroom! Mushroom! Mushroom?! Mushroom! Mush-room!
Mushroom, mushroom, mushrooooom! Shroom, shroomy, shrooms! Room-mush, room-mush, roooooom?!”
“I-Is he okay?!” Gobuta burst out laughing. “The mushroom! He ate it! Hobuzo’s eating the mushrooms! They’re fine! Hobuzo’s not dead! That means we can eat them, right?! They’re edible mushrooms! Me, too! I’m gonna eat!”
“See!” Gobuto had the perfect smile. “I told you! It’s fine! I knew it! I could see it! The mushrooms! The mushrooms are our savior! Now, everyone, let’s eat mushrooms!”
“Y-Yumelin, too! Yumelin, too! Yumelin can’t restrain herself no more!”
“M-Me, too!” Shiholin cried. “If Gobuto-kun is eating them, I will, too! No matter what happens as a result... I don’t care! I’ll have no regrets!”
“M-Manato... Yume... Even Shihoru... Huh?” For an instant, I grew calm.
Had I said something strange? Just now? Was I imagining it? I was, right?
“I mean, does it even matter...?” I murmured.
Yeah. It didn’t matter. Before that, this came first.
I walked around on unsteady legs.
Looking down.
In between the blades of grass, there were mushrooms. Mushrooms. Mushrooms.
I crouched down. I reached for a mushroom. It was slimy to the touch. This was a mushroom. Oh, it was so... so lovely. It felt a shame to tear it from the earth, but I would. I was going to yank it out, and eat it.
“Ohh... Mushroom!” I cried.
Did it taste good? Or bad? I couldn’t tell. Whatever, it was a mushroom. I could only say it tasted mushroom-y. This, this was a mushroom. The ultimate mushroom experience. It was a mushroom.
In my next life, let me be a mushroom.
Was that how it was? To be reincarnated as a mushroom, did I have to eat mushrooms? Like, more and more mushrooms? Like, eat so many mushrooms, I myself become a mushroom? Hold on, after I popped one, then two, I started thinking, Hey, these are pretty good. Mushrooms are the best, aren’t they? The mushrooms filled my mouth, no, my whole body. They were mellow and mild, not cloying, and mushrooms began dancing in my head.

Chapter end