Get Back To You
/ Get Back to You 285 A respectful farewell
..
Lucy came out after a successful fitting session for the upcoming fashion show. Things went smoothly after Frank's words of encouragement, and the model's bright mood returned to self. Though she did not seem energetic, like usual, her mentality changed from the way she perceived things earlier.
Lillian's seat was nearby the window, and she saw Lucy along with her manager nearing the entrance to leave. She sprinted from her place to rush outside. Looking at the signs, she hastily crossed the road, battling among the passing cars to reach the spot on time.
Lucy recognized Lillian from indoors. Her steps ceased instantly.
Seeing Lucy hesitate, Frank looked outside to find people walking by busily. However, to his plain sight, he couldn't pinpoint Lillian Grey amidst the hustling strangers.
"What?" he worriedly asked, still maintaining on the lookout.
Lucy informed her manager to leave ahead while she catches up after chatting with a friend. Frank threw a final glance around to check who this friend was, but he couldn't suspect Lillian Grey outside to meet Lucy. Nevertheless, he advised her not to be late and left the building alone.
Exiting through the entrance, Lucy met Lillian Grey after confirming her manager's departure. She paused to drag Lillian away from Frank's sighting or any paparazzi stunts. Returning to the lounge area where she and Frank chatted before, Lucy spoke first.
"What are you doing here?" she asked hurriedly, checking around to see if anyone is watching or so.
"I wanted to meet you, Lucy," Lillian said.
Lucy's tension lightened slightly to selfish satisfaction. She waited to let Lillian continue the talk, hiding the happiness, she still seems to be in distress from the last night's venture.
"You didn't reply-"
Lillian sent text messages earlier to Lucy about her intention to meet. Even if it is for a few minutes, she wished to appeal.
"I was busy," Lucy consciously replied.
Lillian reads how it would have felt for Lucy when she carried such return texts for weeks prior.
Nevertheless, she chose to come off direct with her apology.
"I'm sorry, Lucy. I shouldn't have hit you, but that just broke me- I despise myself for my actions. So I wanted to apologize to you,"
Lucy felt the twinge on her left cheek as she heard Lillian apologize for slapping her last night.
"I know that I crossed my line as well, but you shouldn't have raised your hand in front of someone-" Lucy paused to correct herself, "in front of Jenna!"
"I'm sorry," Lillian confessed sincerely. She waited to find Lucy still glaring at her, which gave the author an idea that's risky to execute in public.
"If you want, you can slap me-" she suggested playfully to loosen the pressure.
"Sure!" Lucy accepted without an objection.
Startled Lillian did not expect Lucy to have such an interest in returning the rash gesture. She gaped in a shocker.
"Oh- okay! When and how-"
Lucy noticed the panic in Lillian's eyes. She lifted her hand slowly to the trembling sight. In a single swift, she struck her right hand that slapped her last night.
Astounded by her play, Lillian blinked a few times.
"Your face never hit me. It was your hand that got raised."
Lucy's answer left her tongue-tied and remorseful. However, the pressure eased and encouraged the author.
..
"I have something to confess," Lillian opened up a little.
"Okay."
Lucy found it weird but oddly went along to Lillian's serious tone, listening to what she has to say.
"Isn't it getting late for you?" Lillian said. She started, but the fear in her temporarily forced her to run away.
"Lillian! It is, but I'm willing to stay and listen to what you have to say. So can you not waste a second by dragging or diverting!"
A few models who finished their fittings passed by the lounge area to leave and, Lucy waved when one of them caught her distant attention. Lillian waited till they all left the vicinity to speak.
"Alright. I- I recently met someone from my past."
"Okay."
"..." Lillian paused. She kept infrequently gasping to anxiety.
"Is it someone special to you?" Lucy got involved, encouraging her to speak freely.
"..." Lillian hesitated again.
"Go on, talk to me. Is it someone special to you?" Lucy pushed to her insecurities, and it worked.
"Yes. Very much!" Lillian admitted to her previous statement.
"O- Okay. And?"
Lucy's heart pinched from hearing Lillian confirm to her premises.
"And," Lillian dragged as to what to say or not. The inside of her mind had thousands of knots to unlock, and that frightened her.
"And?"
Lucy's urging somehow let Lillian spit out.
"I went to my father's place because of the unexpected meeting and stayed there for a week, disappearing from everything. He then threw me out later, and I returned. Once I arrived here, Jenna had a packed schedule for me, and that cost me another week, and the past few days, Jenna's grandmother died. I- I told you about Jenna and how she only has her grandmother. I suspected that she might get depressed if she stayed alone, and that was the reason for me to bring her over to my place," Lillian conceded.
"Are you sure that I am the right person to confess these details?" Lucy asked.
"Huh? What do you mean?"
"Isn't there someone more special than me? Didn't you guys meet? Let me guess, did you meet that person after several years?"
Lucy's uncertainty got to her.
"Lucy?" Lillian groaned to her say.
"Lillian Grey, who is it? Who is that person? What's your relationship? Tell me! If you dare to confess the identity of such meeting, then isn't it fair for me to dig more for details?" Lucy exclaimed.
Lillian's gaze wandered to her dread.
"It's alright. I have time to spare. Go on," Lucy hinted with restlessness.
It took several seconds until Lillian finally admitted to her suffering courage.
"She is my first love. I fell for her when we were in high school, and she left. I happened to meet her a few weeks ago, and ever since then I couldn't-"
"You couldn't spend time with me?" Lucy finished for her.
"..."
"Who is she?" Lucy sternly asked.
"I told you-"
"What is her name?"
Lillian shook her head in denial, refusing to share names, and assuming that it is best if Lucy doesn't know about Giselle.
"Why aren't you telling me?"
"Because I don't know what is happening to me!" Lillian admitted.
"Why is that?"
Lillian felt it again, how terrifying it is to feel sick and numb from carrying love in her life for a long time. She went mute.
"I heard rumors about your previous dating life. They said you were wildly running without any commitment. Is it because you can't forget about her?" Lucy inquired.
"Yes," Lillian declared.
"Do you still love her?"
Lucy asked the question out of impulse, but frankly, she doesn't have the nerve to welcome the answer. All her delusions might come square to the truth as she feared deep inside.
"Alright! So what should we do? Ah, more like, what should I do? what do you want me to do?"
"Lucy?"
"Yes."
"I don't know-" Lillian revealed.
It seemed pointless, and everything they did, their relationship, the love- all appears to crumble in front of her, and Lucy sought after a resolution.
"Do you love me?" she asked directly.
Lillian watched Lucy turn red in anger from listening. It was tough to face this girl who managed to break into her after Giselle.
"Answer me, honestly. Now that things got to this, we can't keep ignoring it in the name of busy schedules. I- Even if it hurts, I want to know the truth,"
"Do you love me, Lillian Grey?"
Hearing Lucy's sincere plea, Lillian could no longer dwell in the umbrae.
"You are different, Lucy," she said.
"That's not an answer. Tell me if you are in love with me, Lillian,"
Lucy waited until Lillian could respond.
"I- I don't think I can ever settle myself with anyone other than her."
Lillian's reply pretty much answered all the doubts she had and made it sound clear to any ears.
"So, you are saying that you might break up with me sooner or later, right?"
It is hard to speak, yet Lillian kept going.
It is the best possible way to handle things at present.
"It's complicated, Lucy. It doesn't mean that I am with her now. In the meantime we got separated, she- she's a divorced single mother now. I haven't even talked to her. I don't even have her phone number, but-"
"But you can never give your heart to anyone other than her, am I right?"
The truth that was sustaining within Lillian Grey for a long time came out to the spotlight.
"Hmm..." Lillian agreed, admitting to her truth.
"Is she someone that special to you?" Lucy asked again.
"She is,"
Lucy knew she voluntarily kept asking, but every time Lillian answered, little by little, she got burned within.
"Do you want to get back to her?"
"I don't know. We haven't-" Lillian stuttered.
"Do you wish to get back with her, Lillian Grey?"
Lillian noticed Lucy's teary eyes struggling not to cry in public. Now that she spoke the truth, Lillian doesn't have a choice but to continue.
"I wish-" she admits to her distress.
"Alright then," Lucy stirs up, adjusts her dress, and checks on her makeup. She could not bear to stay to make a scene from a heartbreak, especially when she has a job to do next. Frank's word replayed in her head, and she listened to it religiously.
"This is goodbye then," she uttered. Lillian followed to join as well.
"Lucy, I never wished to hurt you,"
"I know. I know."
Lucy's movements became sluggish. Nonetheless, she hurried.
"I'm sorry," Lillian said.
"Why are you saying sorry? It was me who kept tagging with you, not knowing anything about you or your past love story."
Lucy said to walk away but got caught by Lillian's tight grip. The author watched the corner of her eyes turn wet from a single drop that dried as soon as it fell on her thick makeup.
"I did fall for you, and that is why I let you into my bedroom, and I slept with you. You were the only one that came close to my heart. You helped me, Lucy."
Lucy stopped struggling from her hold to listen.
"I did fall in love with you. It may be for a short amount of time, but I did. That is why I wished never to hurt you. That is why I kept running away because I didn't want to hurt you, but I can't keep hiding forever, right!"
"I needed to come out clean and honest. I can't let you, a kind soul, to misguide you through false lies. I- I don't know if there is a chance for me with Giselle, but I don't care. I could live and die just with her memories. However, I-"
"Her name is Giselle, huh?" Lucy said.
Lillian froze to realize that she revealed the name unknowingly.
"Don't worry. I'm not the kind of person to take revenge," Lucy assured from her panic.
"No, I know. You won't. It's just that I wished for you never to learn the name,"
"Why?" Lucy asked curiously.
"I don't know. A gut feeling!"
"Polite courtesy to not make me feel worse with a name tag, huh!"
"Maybe or not,"
The brief exchanging of words softened Lucy. Lastly, the underneath fears that kept dormant all the time while she let herself convince that Lillian did love her alone, and these lonely days were of her busy schedule. It was not the case today. Somehow Lucy still had the strength to stand and talk. She no longer appeared scared or sad.
"So, are we breaking up right now?" Lucy asked daringly.
That was the whole point of revealing the truth, and yet Lillian found to difficult to reply.
"It hurts, Lilly," Lucy admitted despite the surprising strength she suddenly found in herself.
Lillian Grey watched Lucy melt to the reality, which is what she hoped never to witness.
"You were my first love, and to think that I am not lucky to have my first love return my feelings-" Lucy sadly chuckled.
"Lucy, I'm sorry," Lillian said. It was the only words she could fearlessly tell her.
"You should be. I was planning a lot of things to do together when we meet again. To think that I am alone from now on makes me feel-" Lucy clenched her chest tightly, "Is this how it's supposed to hurt during breakups?" she exclaimed openly to the crunching burn in her heart.
"Lucy!" Lillian moved to hold.
"I'll be fine."
Lucy signaled to leave her alone.
"Thanks for at least telling me now. I was going crazy with you ignoring me, and it affected my job, and Frank started yelling at me. It's all too much to process at the same time."
Lucy's eyes wandered randomly to its sight, and her trembling lips got weaker to speak.
"We really are breaking up right now?" she said again.
"We are, Lucy," Lillian replied.
"Tell me, Lillian."
"..."
"I want you to tell me straight to my face that you don't love me anymore. That you wish for us to break up now. Tell me, please, or I would regret leaving you. I- I- I might go insane to follow you again and pursue you. I might meddle in your life again. Tell me,"
"Say it to my face, as you mean it, please, Lilly," Lucy begged, and her dress wrinkled from her firm grip.
"Lucy,"
It was harder as the time when Lillian heard Giselle left without a word.
How can it be so hard to say goodbye?
All the time with different people, it was easy to leave and move on because she never cared, but not this time. Breaking up with Lucy became harsh and cruel with care.
"Please, this is my last request as your girl- sorry, ex-girlfriend," Lucy pleaded with sorrowful laughter.
"Lucy, I- I am not in love with you anymore. I wish w- we end things right here and move on," Lillian said to a thick throat under invisible choking.
'Why does it hurt more now?'
'Why am I crumbling inside?' - Lucy's grip got tighter to her chest as a result of the physical damage she felt inside.
With no more love to give or receive, she bid her last painful farewell.
"Thank you, Lillian Grey."
"Thank you for letting me into your heart, even for a while."
Lucy said, starting to disappear.
The semblance made Lillian go weary.
The corner of her eye still perceived Lucy's moving figure, slowly farther away and to exit. Now that Lucy is no longer in front of her, a part of Lillian felt easy to breathe. With the way she lived, lying to herself of her genuine emotions while encouraging a stranger's love. Another part sobbed within for the young model. She related to Lucy's pain with respect.
Lillian never had the chance to confess to Giselle. If this is what the end would seem like, she never wishes to force the present Giselle into any romantic adventures. She can never go through this again in her life, especially with her true love.
**
Lucy walked out of the building. She entered the driving pavement with people that soon began to hiss at her arrest.
Lucy stays still without budging an inch or listening to the people's annoyance. She waited till the sound of her mobile loudly played to her deaf ears.
Without looking at it, she answered the call.
"Lucy,"
Lillian's voice called out, and Lucy could feel a thousand needle stab her heart at the same time. Back then, she did feel the pain, but right now, it felt different and doubled. A wound that could transform at her discretion and, Lucy got alarmed to be wary of her fragile emotions. No longer did she want to play games.
"Who is this?" she asked, biting her lips till it stung severely.
Shocked from her response, Lillian understood without a word, respecting her wishes.
"You are a great person, and I wish you to find your true love. Goodbye."
Lillian paused for a second to add, "Ah, if we run into each other in the future, I hope we could spare a smile. Take care, Lucy."
The call ends, and Lucy felt hot streaming tears pour down without her consent. The on-goers watched her lament without a sound. She stayed there, sobbing until she could digest the harsh truth.
Chapter end
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