Chapter 43 - Psyche

A foothold for getting myself back onto Xanthy never presented itself, so I walked the rest of the way to Megara. I knew I should move straight on to Eleusis, but ventured inside for more water and help getting on my horse.

As I led her through the city streets, I kept my head down and moved quickly while looking for a public fountain. The crowd of Megaran citizens. thickened, a jumbled blend of farmers, merchants, slaves and senators. Surrounded by all of these people, I started to worry that I'd made a mistake coming inside. What if one of them recognized me? Or worse, what if they attacked me like the Spartans had done?

When I reached the edge of the fountain, I filled my flasks. I glanced up for a moment and caught the gaze of another girl who was doing the same. Her hair was neat, and her lightly olive skin was clean, but she was wearing a dress that looked like it'd been made from the harshest, undyed lambswool. She must be a slave, filling flasks for her master.

As her eyes flicked to mine momentarily, she gave me an almost imperceptible nod. A sign of camaraderie.

The momentary insult was quickly overcome by the realization that "slave girl" was a good disguise. I'd be able to pass through the streets virtually invisible if I looked like a slave. No one would give me a second glance. A tiny smile tugged at my lips and I felt safer.

Until a sharp voice ripped me from my momentary security. "Girl! Your master's horse can't drink from the fountain."

I'd been so distracted that I hadn't noticed Xanthy stick her muzzle into the city's fresh water. I tugged at her determined neck until I pulled her head above the water line. Xanthy snorted, splattering me with cool droplets.

Only when I had righted my error did I look at the woman to apologize. "I'm sorry," escaped from my lips at the same moment I fully saw her face. It was severe, but illuminated with the light of suppressed laughter. And it was familiar. A second passed before I realized the woman's face poked the same as the relief image of Vesta I'd seen on her shrine.

My eyes widened and I bowed quickly. "My Lady."

She regarded me carefully, studying my face and clothes. Then she nodded and lifted her chin with an expected air of superiority. "You look ke a good, little slave girl." Her eyes glinted. "I'll give you a piece of advice," she continued.

I let my eyes dart left and right to be sure no one was listening. The noble woman reprimanding the slave girl was going unnoticed.

"You ought to serve Ceres in Eleusis. It would be a mistake not to ask for her assistance as well."

I nodded my head in what I hoped was a reverent-enough bow. "Thank you, my Lady. I am forever grateful."

One side of her mouth lifted in a half-smile as she leaned in close and whispered. "It's not your gratitude I seek, it's fulfillment of the promise you made."

"The shrine!" I blurted before slapping my hand over my mouth. Again I quickly looked around to see if anyone had noticed us yet, but we still appeared safe. I lowered my voice. "You will, of course, have your shrine if live through this journey. I would not go back on my word."

She raised one eyebrow accusingly. "Really? Is that what you told Eros?”

The air rushed out of my lungs like I'd been punched. Warm tears pooled in my eyes, threatening to spill over. I hadn't even cried from my attack, but her words stung worse than any physical assault.

I started to defend myself. "I never meant to hurt --"

"Smarten up, girl," Vesta cut in. "What you meant is apparent to everyone. You'll earn favor from no one lying about your true intent. Adm to your mistakes and you may yet be forgiven."

Her words were harsher than I would've liked, but I knew she offered them as a roadmap to redemption. I dropped to one knee and kissed Vesta porcelain-smooth hand. "My Lady, I can never thank you enough."

Vesta shook her hand free and looked at me the way a teacher looks at dimwitted pupil. "Get up before you draw attention to yourself," she hisses

As I stood, I brushed the dirt from my knees.

"Besides," Vesta added, "I can't promise you'll ever be able to build me that shrine. You can wait and thank me if it ever happens."

I stopped wiping at my dress and looked up at the goddess, my heart heavy with dread. Advice was obviously as much as I could hope for from her. I nodded. "All right then."

Vesta backed away, disappeared into the crowd, and was gone. Although still a little shaky, I was ready to escape from this throng of people too.

The only thing I knew now was that I had to get to Ceres's temple in Eleusis. After finishing the flask-filling task I'd started, I grabbed Xanthy's mane and began to lead her away.

But I realized I still didn't have a way to get on her back. If I wanted to make Eleusis by nightfall, traveling on horseback was a must. I looked around the packed mall, seeing only people scurrying about their business ike rats. But the fountain was empty. Would anyone notice?

Hopping onto the fountain wall that separated the people from the pool, I steadied myself with Xanthy's mane to keep from accidentally falling 1. I easily flung my left leg over Xanthy's back and wiggled into place. With the nudge of my heels, Xanthy and I barged our way through the mass of people until we were safely back on the road leading out of Megara. Once outside the city gates, we headed north and began the trek to Eleusis.

Blessedly, the road was empty.

I waited until after dark to slip through the gates of Eleusis and wind way toward the city center. We followed the well-rutted road and, as expected, it led directly to the agora. The empty market stands and discarded scraps hinted at the life that would fill the long, rectangular plaza again come daybreak. But in darkness, it was eerily lifeless.

On the far end of the agora I could make out the silhouette of a temple. A few solitary torches flickered from inside. Sliding from Xanthy's back, I approached slowly, feeling total reverence for the goddess as I stood in the footprint of her most sacred shrine.

To honor the goddess for her gift of agriculture, the Eleusisians had built a temple that itself seemed to grow from the earth. Long slender columns, like stalks of wheat, lifted the massive triangular roof. Icons of the goddess, riding in her horse-drawn chariot, graced every wall.

Taking a deep breath, I left Xanthy behind and climbed the steep temple staircase. My leather sandals tapped lightly against the marble stairs. The only other sound was of the wheat field at my back as the wind chaffed the stalks against one another. The temple floor was so far elevated above the ground that I couldn't see inside until I was more than half way up the steps. When I could take in the full sanctuary of the temple, what I saw shocked me.

There I was, standing in the most renowned temple to Ceres in all of Greece, and it looked like a pack of wild pigs had been let loose inside. Shriveled ears of corn lay scattered across the floor with brittle, brown stalks of barley. Mixed in among the rubble were farmers' tools -- rakes, hoes, and sickles -- left strewn about like the farmers had simply tired of tending the field across the way and tossed the devices inside with little care for where they landed. In a far corner, one of the smaller statutes tilted precariously against the wall.

Even if I could've focused amongst so much rubble, I refused to ask for Ceres' help while her tribute lay in ruins.

I ran to the statute and wedged myself between it and the wall. At first I didn't think I'd have the strength to stand it back up, but by pushing with my legs, the statute eventually lumbered back onto its base with a thud that echoed through the cavernous sanctuary.

Then I started picking up the litter of tools. When I'd collected them all and arranged them neatly in another corner, I started working on the mixture of expired grains. Fortunately, I found a little grass basket, which I used to collect the debris.

When I thought I'd collected everything, I paused, surveying my work for a minute. There was satisfaction in cleaning. It wasn't just serving a goddess. It felt good to have made order out of chaos. Satisfied that the temple was once again tidy, I turned to dart down the steps and throw away the wasted grains.

I got little more than half way through my turn before bouncing off a warm, solid chest. The little basket crushed into her and sent the grains I'd worked so hard to collect spraying once again across the floor. I was about to yell at the woman for standing behind me, scaring me, and ruining my work, when I recognized the face of Ceres.

Why did goddesses seem to think it was a good idea to sneak up behind me today?

Immediately, I dropped to my knees, reaching frantically for the strewn grain. Before I could grasp even two pieces, she exhaled a gentle breath, like she was blowing out an already waning candle, and they were gone. Even the pieces I had gathered were gone. I looked up and Ceres was smiling.

But she wasn't mocking me. Her smile was gentle, motherly. The radiance in her eyes was so openly caring that I wanted nothing more than to be wrapped in her arms. While she didn't hug me, she did hold out a softly golden hand and helped me to my feet.

"Thank you, Psyche," she said. "You can't imagine how it pains me to see this, of all my temples, in such disarray. Autumn is one thing. I don't really even care then, what with the farmers so busy with their harvets. But I have come to expect better in the springtime." Her deep brown eyes sparkled as she spoke, taking in the sanctuary with obvious pride.

"I can't believe they ever let it get like this," I said, now angry with the Eleusians for failing to take better care of the temple.

Ceres waved away my concern. "They're busy with the spring planting.

I suppose I can't be too cross with them for using my gifts." Then she moved silently through the temple, decorating every crevice with explosions of fruits and flowers.

Her copper dress swayed effortlessly as she moved. When a spray of mahogany hair worked itself free from her carefree bun, she simply tucked it behind her ear and continued her creations. It was like watching a dancer and artist rolled into one.

Having created the last of her cornucopias, Ceres dusted her hands off and turned her attention back to me.

"Now, am I correct that you didn't come visit me to brush up on your domestic skills?"

My gaze dropped away from her liquid eyes as I nodded. "I don't know where to begin," I stammered. "I've never made a prayer in person before."

She laughed softly and set her hand on my shoulder. "Don't worry. I already know what you've come to ask." She sighed. "I only wish there was
more I could do."

I searched for an explanation in her dark eyes, unable to speak. Hope washed out of me like water bursts from a cracked dam.

"I will do my best." A sad smile tugged up one corner of her bronze- tinted lips. "But just as I couldn't shield my own daughter from Hades, I can't protect you from Aphrodite forever."

"I don't need forever," I stammered. "Just long enough to get to Olympus so I can see Eros. If we can just talk once he's calm, I'm sure we can work this out."

"You'll never get to Eros unless Aphrodite wants you to."

I blinked blankly at her lovely face, unsure what she was telling me.

"You won't like it, but there is a way," she finally told me.

"Anything!" I blurted.

"You can't hide from her. You can't get past her. You just have to go her." Ceres continued, "She's angry with you, on many levels at the moment, but she'll respect your courage. You've got to make things up to er before you get the chance to apologize to Eros."

My own weight was suddenly too heavy and my legs wouldn't hold. It was like the monumental roof above my head was slowly squashing me into the ground. I crumpled into a pile at Ceres's feet.

"Come on now, I just picked you up off that floor a moment ago," she softly chided. She scooped me up under my arms and placed me back on my feet. My knees started to buckle again, but a sharp look from Ceres forced me to get myself under control.

"This is not hopeless," she said.

I nodded my head with little, stunted movements. It was the best I could do to indicate that I understood, even though I didn't. Turning myself over to Aphrodite seemed about as sane as dancing in a fire.

"If I thought she was going to kill you, I'd spare you the anguish and take you down to Hades myself," Ceres said.

Some comfort. I didn't want to be tortured, banished, ruined or any of the myriad other things Aphrodite could do to me short of death. I just wanted to see Eros.

"Besides," Ceres continued, "I think she's calmed down since her first attempt."

Words failed me for a second time in as many minutes. Aphrodite has already tried to kill me? Like, really and truly kill me -- not just curse me and ruin my life?

"Buck up," she said, closing my unhinged jaw with her finger. "You'll be fine."

The constancy in Ceres's eyes was impossible to ignore. That's when I realized, I was standing before a goddess of Olympus, who was telling me, as gently as she could, that I'd run out of options. I bit at the corner of my lip as I considered what to do next.

"Okay," I finally said. "How should I find her?"

Ceres's smile spread across her face, penetrating all the way up to her

"I knew I wasn't wasting my time with you," she beamed. "I don't know that you're particularly brave, but you clearly love our little Eros." Then she added in a hushed voice, leaning in closer so her words couldn't be overheard, "Devotion like yours cannot be ignored, even by an Olympian. Remember that."

"I will," I promised.

"Excellent." Ceres stood tall again and grasped my hand in hers. "Come on then. I'll take you."

"Wait. Right now?" I pulled my hand away. "What about my horse?" I asked, faltering for any excuse to stall. "I can't just leave Xanthy here."

I wasn't ready to reunite with Aphrodite that very minute. I figured 'd have at least another night before facing the goddess I was convinced wanted me dead. How'd we gone from being like family to her wanting me dead?

"Hmmm." Ceres pressed her index fingers against her lips and looked thoughtful for only a moment before revelation flashed across her face. With a wave of her hands, she simply said, "The horse will come too. Problem solved."

I didn't even have time to shut my gaping jaw again before Ceres grabbed my hand and gently tugged me down the steps of her temple. Xanthy had her head and half her body stuck into the sacred wheat elds. She was munching away, but Ceres didn't seem to care. With an effortless and fluid motion, she grasped my waist and plopped me onto Kanthy's back. Then Ceres swung herself up behind me and clasped two astfuls of Xanthy's mane, steering her out of the chest-high stalks of wheat.

I felt her nudge Xanthy forward into a trot, and then we were flying. It wasn't flying the way a bird flies though - or the way Eros flew. There was no effort, and no soaring or gliding. It was more like being a feather caught in the wind, floating, twirling, falling. Only with unimaginable speed. It was exhilarating and terrifying at once.

Ceres laughed like a giddy child behind me. "Isn't this great? I love not having to rely on wings to get around."

I hugged myself tighter to Xanthy's neck even though I was pretty sure Ceres wouldn't let me fall. I had to disagree with her though. I'd flown on wings and found it to be a superior, and far less nauseating, way to travel.

In less time than it would've taken me just to get back out of the gates of Eleusis, we landed on Mount Olympus. The air was cooler, the ground rockier. A chill ran up my spine, making me shudder.

Ceres slid off Xanthy's back with the fluidity of water. "Come on, dear," she said as she pulled me down. "You can stay with me tonight. Tomorrow we'll go to Aphrodite."

Chapter end