Lemon Incest c8

He was wearing a black cashmere coat. A light gray scarf was wrapped carelessly around his neck, and he held with both hands a gift so big that he looked like he was having a difficult time carrying it. When he handed me the box which had a bottle of beautifully wrapped champagne and a small Christmas tree with a heart-shaped necklace hanging off it, he took off his shoes and stepped into my apartment in high spirits.

His figure was reflected in the window which was dark with the winter night, and this reflection overlapped with the light from the miniature bulbs, which gave off the feel of a cheap illumination.

A Celine Dion Christmas song was playing from my CD player. I had meticulously cleaned my room, and there was not a sign of the magazines, newspapers, manicure bottles, mugs with dried coffee stains or the square-shared ash tray filled with cigarette butts that were usually scattered about on the shaggy crème-coloured carpet.

After our small Christmas party had drawn to a close, I had planned to give Shougo the potted plant on his way out. I couldn’t imagine what his apartment was like. It was amusing though to imagine a poinsettia being placed in the minimalist room of a young man living by himself.

I had never been one to decorate a room with flowers; it goes without saying that I’d never purchased a leafy plant either. For me, it just felt strange to have something living inside the apartment. I didn’t know why I thought this way. Whenever I saw beautifully arranged seasonal flowers decorating Misao-chan’s room, I was capable of thinking it’s beautiful, but I couldn’t do the same thing when it came to my room. It may be that somewhere deep in the recesses of my mind, there was something not quite right about me.

Tonight was Christmas Eve, and Shougo and I had made plans to spend the day together. Since it was the first time to invite him to my apartment, I felt a strange feeling of elation that began from the previous evening. I went to a high-end supermarket and bought a whole roast chicken along with ready-made salad. I even went all out to purchase an expensive French wine to go along with this meal.

I asked him why, when it was a holiday. I could hear the accusatory tone in my voice.

Maybe it was because the conversation was so short, but it didn’t feel to me as if he were sorry at all. He seemed to be calling from a place that had bad reception, and at times, the background noise drowned out his voice. Not only that but he spoke in a flat manner, as if he were simply informing someone he couldn’t care less about the changes in plans.

I wasn’t in the mood to be the one to call him. My pride didn’t allow for me to do something like calling back a person who had cancelled our plans at the last minute, especially since I was the one who had one-sidedly ended the first call.

After that, I didn’t give much thought before giving Muda a call. The café in Hiroo was closed for holidays so I didn’t know where he was, but when he picked up the call, he readily agreed to my invitation.

When I asked this, he replied as if he had been waiting for me to call. “What a surprise. Could that be your way of inviting me to spend Christmas Eve with you?”

“But didn’t you tell me before that you’d made plans tonight with that good looking younger brother of yours?”

“Is that right And so you were looking for a replacement, and I just happened to be singled out?”

“There you go again deciding everything on your own like that.” He didn’t seem to mind my attitude; he just simply chuckled.

“Seven o’clock,” I said in a disinterested tone. “You don’t need to bring any wine. Oh, and no roast chicken either. You don’t need anything; I have most of the stuff prepared.”

“I don’t need something like that.”

“What do you plan on doing, sticking candles in a large cake and blowing out the lights together? It’s not as if we’re in grade school.”

“You don’t need to bring so much stuff with you. We’re just going to end up not being able to finish everything and throwing most of it away.”

And with that, he ended the call.

I didn’t think he did this because he loved me. It was something unrelated to love or passion. I just figured that there was simply something not quite whole about his family.

We sat across the table from each other, and he pulled the cork of the champagne in a theatrical manner. It came off with a loud pop, and white foam overflowed from the mouth of the bottle.

“Before we make a toast, here. This is a small token of my feelings. It’s a Christmas present for you.”

“I hope you like it. Why don’t you open it?”

And every time he would present me with something new, I would feel a dark mood wrap around me. Every time he gave me something, it was as if I could feel my feelings towards him cooling more and more… The more expensive and grand the gift, I couldn’t help but feel how cheaply I was being treated.

When he gave me imported lingerie with an abundance of lace, I had even gone to the lengths to take off my clothes to model the lingerie for him right then and there. I even posed in ways I knew would excite him; I was fine with doing all that.

When I untied the ribbon around the box and opened it, a bracelet was nestled inside. At each end, a small diamond sparkled. The chain was platinum, and when I put it on my wrist, the design was so that the diamonds on each corner would sparkle as it swayed.

“I don’t think so. To be honest, this was something I had prepared from quite a while back to give to you today. So when I found out that my adorable princess was spending Christmas with her good looking brother, I thought ‘well, for Christ’s sake!’”

“Don’t be silly,” he laughed. “I bought this for you. Why would I give it to some other woman…?”

Perhaps it was because he was used to snide remarks, or maybe it was because he derived a certain high from being told something like that, but his shoulders shook as he laughed. “Putting that aside, you’re going to introduce me to him one of those days, aren’t you?”

“Your good looking younger brother, of course.”

“Well, of course– he is your brother, after all.”

“Of what?”

“Don’t be ridiculous. Why would I have reason to hold suspicions?”

He gave a hearty laugh. “I guess it’s just become a habit of mine. Okay then, I won’t call him that anymore.”

For Muda, as long as everything was clear and logical, he was someone who didn’t try to delve further. I met my younger brother who had been kidnapped when I was a child for the first time since the kidnapping… when I opened up to him about this, he gave just a short comment: “Oh, is that right? It’s strange how life works sometimes, isn’t it?”.

My cell phone was on the kitchen counter. I had set it so I would know right away if I received a text message, but the cell phone remained silent.

I began to vehemently deny the incomprehensible feelings towards Shougo that had begun to build inside of me.

And the promise I made out of responsibility to spend time with him on Christmas was cancelled by him at the last minute. Even if that other person hadn’t been my brother, it made sense that I would be upset at the sudden change of plans.

He’s not my lover; he’s just family. To spew unreasonable complaints to immediate family is something that happens endless times on a daily basis to so many people out there. It wasn’t anything unusual.

I put a small dessert spoon on each plate and was trying to carry it back to the table when Muda suddenly embraced me gently from behind. I felt his breath on my neck.

“Let it melt.”

“Leave it for later.”

He lifted up the edge of my sweater. He unhooked my bra, and I felt his warm hand cover my breast.

One day, I would have to tell Shougo about this man. The textbook affair. A man who was pretty much supporting me. Even though my love and passion for him had faded, every time we met he would reach out for me like clock work, and I would respond to his advances. Despite all that, he wasn’t someone who I felt particularly unpleasant towards. He was a man who, when we were apart, he would never enter my mind. With that being said, he was also someone who I was constantly aware of that he supported my lifestyle…

“Let’s go to the bedroom,” he whispered in a low voice.

It read 9:10.

I was swept up by a fit of rage, and I threw on my Mouton cropped jacket and headed towards the door.

The bedroom with rustled sheets and the dining table with the left over food had all been left as is. When I turned off the lights in the living room, I saw the mini-lights of the Christmas tree that Muda had brought continuing to flash in the darkness like some ridiculous toy.

On the chilled night pavement roads, there were flashes of bright illuminations from the cafes interspersing the darkness, and despite the fact that it was late in the night, there were people coming and going on the sidewalks. I was in a foul mood as I tried calling Shougo’s cell phone once more. As before, my call didn’t go through.

After I finally managed to flag down an empty cab, I got in and after I had told the driver where I was headed, I lit my cigarette. I could see the bracelet Muda had given me swaying gently on my right wrist. I held my cigarette in the corner of my mouth as I unhooked the bracelet and shoved it in an outside pocket of my coat.

How stupid. I thought to myself as I crushed the cigarette into the ash tray even though half of it was still left. I immediately lit a second cigarette.

I thought: what did I know about him really? He earned a high salary working at a host club which he used along with a scholarship to support himself. He advanced on to university and was studying philosophy. He was someone who was raised by his kidnapper. Those were the only things that I knew.

I felt that there were many parts of him that were still shrouded in mystery. Even if I were able to make clear each and every detail about him… even if I were able to collect down to the last detail all the data there was to know about him, I had this feeling that the mystery that was locked away at the heart of the situation would always remain that…a mystery.

Was it the twenty four gap that made me feel this way? Or was it something else?

I walked right past them and I checked my surroundings closely as I examined the neon sign of the store.

Perhaps it was the same for Shougo… this thought made me freeze in horror.

Was it just a coincidence? Or was it that he chose a place that he felt comfortable in? If he really did swing that way, what would that have to do with her?

When I went down the dimly lit stairs that led to the underground café, I began to hear the soft sound of a jazz piano. And at the bottom of the stairs were sturdy looking black doors made of wood. There was nothing on the doors that indicated the name of the store.

It was a small bar with a long, narrow counter. The yellow lights lit the entrance. There were also numerous small round lights that gave light to the counters. The place was simple in its decor, and everything was black– including the walls, floor, counter, and even the ceiling.

I stepped inside and sat on the nearest open stool. The moment I did this, a bartender appeared from the darkness from the shadow of the counter.

“Welcome,” the man said. Although he said this in a respectful tone, there was a hint of indifference that was hidden in it. “What can I get you?”

His face remained expressionless as he gave me a once over. He let several seconds of silence pass by before he replied, “Yes, there is.”

I formed a smile on my face as I asked, “Would it be all right if you could call him over? I’m his older sister.”

And with that, he turned and whispered something to a young bartender who was walking past. The young bartender then in turned disappeared off into the back behind small narrow hinged doors.

He was standing behind me in his casual clothes. He has a slightly unsure smile on his lips, “What are you doing here…”

“I didn’t say that… I’m just surprised, that’s all. I didn’t think you would come…”

“Yes. Just a few minutes ago, actually. If you had gotten here a minute later, we might have just missed each other.”

The owner wearing the dark green glasses exchanged a brief glance with Shougo. He in turn nodded, and took me by the arm, “Let’s go.”

“I’m sorry, but I can’t drink here.”

“That’s the rule here,” he whispered this quickly as he put his arm around my waist and half-forcibly made me stand up from the stool.

We faced each other in the dimly lit stairs. I didn’t know why we were just standing there, but I could feel my heart thudding painfully in my chest.

“You called?”

“When I’m here, the cell phone shows as being out of range.”

“About tonight?”

“Well, it’s the same for me though.”

“I was doing my best to try to explain the situation on the phone, but you suddenly hung up on me. That was a bit unfair, don’t you think? I was looking forward to tonight too, you know.”

“Then why couldn’t you have called me back?”

“I got on the subway right after our phone call, and after that I was busy with preparations for the bar.”

“Truly?”

“Do you mind if I go now?” Shougo asked.

“To your apartment. Christmas Eve has already passed, but if it’s Christmas Day, there’s still plenty of time.”

“Forget that. Why don’t we go out drinking somewhere?” I suggested. “Is that okay?”

I felt a warmth rush through my chest, and I tried my best to shake that feeling off as I began to ascend the stairs ahead of him

Chapter end