Lemon Incest c6

I told myself that who I wanted to see wasn’t Shougo– it didn’t matter who it was. It could just as easily have been Muda or some guy I had spent one night with in the past… no, it didn’t matter if I had had sex with that person or not. I had a few guy friends who would happily spend time with me and who would stay with me for as long as I wanted them by my side so I couldn’t care less who that other person was.

When I thought of it that way, all the haziness in my mind cleared, and I felt a sense of calmness wash over me. Just one among ten guy friends I knew… that person just happened to be my biological brother. There’s no need to be so conscious of the situation— after all, there are more women out there than there are stars in the sky in this world who waste time hanging out with their brother.

Perhaps he was at university? Or perhaps he had skipped the seminar to go have coffee with his girlfriend? I didn’t know much about how he spent his days outside of his part time job. It had been so long since I graduated from university that now, I couldn’t even recall if university was out for winter break already by this time in December.

However, the moment Shougo answered with a “hello” before the end of the second ring, I was momentarily frozen in panic. I didn’t know why I felt this way. The only thing that I did know, was how foolish that feeling was.

“Of course. I’ve got your number registered so I knew before I even answered your call. I’m surprised though– well, how can I put it? I’m happy you called.”

“Let’s see… tomorrow’s Wednesday, right? Yes. I don’t have my part time job so I’m free.”

“Ha, that’s a joke if I ever heard one. What is it– were you thinking of asking me somewhere?”

“Sounds great. I’d love to.”

“Hmm… If it’s something you recommend, then anything’s fine. While we’re at it, why not go somewhere a bit far away?”

Shougo said in a cheerful, youthful voice like that of a young boy: “To be honest… right now, I’m borrowing a car from the owner of the place where I’m working part time. Well…I guess ‘borrow’ would be the wrong way to put it. You see, the owner had his car exterior scratched when he left his car in the parking lot in front of his apartment the other day. I heard from him that stuff like that’s been happening near his apartment a lot, but he never did find out who did it. That’s why he took it to the car shop to get it fixed, but he didn’t have time go pick it up, so I went there to get it for him…”

“Well, that about sums it up.”

“If I asked him, he’d let me borrow it for a day or two. That’s just the kind of guy he is. He’s rich, so he has two other cars in addition to this one, and he wouldn’t be inconvenienced by this at all. So what do you say? And since we’re talking about this already, why not meet tonight instead of tomorrow?”

“I’ll take the day off. I told you before, didn’t I? I can change my schedule around if need be.”

My father was always busy, but whenever I told him that I wanted to have dinner with him somewhere, he would make time for me without exception. When I hesitated, he would boast that he would always cancel any important meetings or appointments if it was what I wanted. Even when it was a matter that he couldn’t get out of, he would make sure to make time for me, if only for a few minutes.

Maybe it was because of that, that despite being biological father and daughter, he was always someone whose presence was concealed in a strange, distant, thin veil. It never felt like I was depending on him as a daughter would, and that he was doting on me as he would a daughter. For me, he was a man despite being my biological father. He wasn’t a lover, a friend, or a father. I saw him as a man, and in his way, he also saw me as a woman.

“Hello? Are you there?” Shougo asked. “Huh, maybe the connection went dead.”

“Of course it’s okay with me. Well then, I’ll go pick you up in his car, okay? It’s a pretty nice car, I have to admit. It’s a car fit to take you on a drive. Is it okay if I come to pick you up at six? Or would seven work better? Or maybe even later?”

I told him six o’clock would be fine. I also added that when he reached the front of my apartment he should call me on my cell, and with that I ended our call.

I wondered what I should wear. I also wondered where we should go. It might even be nice to try heading to Yokohama for the first time in a while. The lights of the high rise buildings illuminated in the darkness is beautiful. Even if it was raining outside, the lights would be slightly blurred, and they might look even more beautiful.

I called Muda and told him that something urgent had come up so that I wouldn’t be able to come to work that day. He responded, “is that right?” and said in a slightly annoyed voice: “It does get pretty busy here on rainy days…” But since I had told him it was something urgent, he didn’t press the issue.

Just after six, my cell phone rang. Shougo said he’d already arrived in front of my apartment.

I said before I slipped on my light brown leather blouson and wrapped a white scarf hastily around my neck. Night had already fallen outside. I turned off the light in my room and as I rushed towards the door, swinging a bag over my shoulder, I wondered for a brief moment whether a day would come when I would ask him to come up to my room; it wouldn’t be strange to ask him to visit. He was someone who I had no need to feel particularly conscious around– at the very least as long as he was my younger brother.

In front of the entrance of the apartment building, a lone car was waiting with the engine still running. It may have been because the temperature outside was dropping, but I could see white exhaust fumes disappearing into the rainy sky. The car was a stunning red Jaguar. It had the recognizable Flagship Saloon, and it gave off a distinct air of a British car.

“I’m impressed. To think you’d drive here in a Jaguar… and not only that, but that you’d hold open the door for me!”

“Let’s see… How about an Astin Martin? That would be nice.”

We turned to each other in the rain and laughed.

“Where shall we go?” I asked.

“Then let’s go to Yokohama. Is that okay?”

A beautiful modern melody consisting of an electric guitar, drums and keyboard was playing inside the car.

When I asked this, Shougo explained that it was written by a modern English artist for a famous Japanese guitarist.

“No, but it’s pretty nice. It’s kind of fitting to listen to something like this on a rainy night inside a car. Is this kind of music to your tastes? Or is it a CD you found in the car?”

“What kind of music does he listen to?”

“Excuse me?”

“I kind of understand why though. I like that he chooses opera and not jazz or enka. You mentioned earlier that he has other cars– what kind are they?”

“Huh. Hey, can you take me to the bar you work at next time? I’d like to see him for myself.”

My shoulders shook as I laughed. I turned my head slightly to study his side profile.

He was smooth in the way he handled the car. The long tapered fingers of his hand rested against the steering wheel. I didn’t know whether it was because they were thin, but they gave off a feeling of inner strength, and from time to time, a blue vein would appear on the back of his hand.

Back when I was still a child, there were times when I would sit in the passenger seat and gaze at my father operating the steering wheel like this. He handled it skilfully and gently like he would a fragile object. He caressed the steering wheel– touching it before releasing, touching it before releasing. Maybe it was because of this, but all the car movements were amazingly smooth, and it was as if his hand and wheel had melted to become one.

And now, Shougo was driving in a similar way. Above all else though, his hands reminded me of my father’s. The rain drops pelting down on the glass reflected a pattern on his hands. They reminded me of the kind of pattern made from sunshine filtering through tree branches on a clear day.

He would then lean down to kiss me on the cheek, and the slightly wet feeling of his gentle kiss would remain. He would then leave— where, I didn’t know. He would leave to go meet a woman I didn’t know.

I always believed that he would come back. He would come back, and he would hold me in his arms again and rest a kiss on my cheek like he always did.

In my dreams, I could feel the gentle movement of his fingers through my hair. I could also smell the faint scent of cigarettes. His fingers were strong yet gentle.

It was Misaki’s thin silhouette… she had always had a short hair cut; the hairstyle that framed her face suited her well. Her small silhouette would be illuminated in the light, and my father’s shadow overlapped it.

And with that, a strange calmness would come over me, and I would breathe in gently before falling back into a deep sleep…

“Is it okay if I take the Wangan line? If we do, we’ll be able to pass through Rainbow Bridge and Yokohama Bay Bridge. It’s still raining outside, but they’ll probably be beautiful.”

“I’ve never done something like that.”

“I’m not hiding anything, I swear.”

I had a feeling that there was a long journey to take before I could use a word like “sister” in a light hearted manner. I didn’t really know how long that journey was exactly, but I felt that there would come a day when we would reach that point where we would shyly recognize each other as “sister” and “brother” and our relationship would come to a point where we would even start having fights. I was surprised by the feeling of happiness that came over me at that thought.

Tonight was a rainy night at the end of the year, but the roads were surprisingly empty. Even when we had gotten on the express highway Wangan line, the car was able to maintain its smooth, fast speed.

“It’s as if we’re at sea,” I said. “It’s like we’re on water.”

“Well, would that be so bad? If the car just sinks in the water, it might even feel nice.”

The conversation had taken such an unexpected turn that I couldn’t help but turn my head in his direction. He had a smile on his face.

“No.”

“But they obviously don’t have oxygen masks on, right?”

“Even though they were dead?”

“It would probably be beautiful if a ray of light shined in that spot. I can kind of understand where you’re coming from.”

“…and they end up disappearing like seaweed in the ocean?”

“I’m happy we got together today,” he said. “I wanted to talk to you about many things… but there might not be enough time.”

“You’re right.”

Those words to him were something I said to him just as much for myself.

We arrived at the Yokohama Bay Area. By the time we had parked the car in the parking lot of Royal Park Hotel and had gotten in the elevator, the clock had already passed 7:30.

The magnificent view of the city that we looked down at from the top floor left us speechless. When we had regained our voices, we had exchanged questions back and forth in a childish manner asking questions like “Where’s that? Where’s Tokyo? Which highway is that…”

We had both promised that next time we would definitely come at night. That time, we would also reserve a room and spend one night living it up in luxury… that had been the promise, but shortly after wards, Misao has gotten busy with work and we had yet to fulfill that promise.

We stood side-by-side in the elevator and we both gazed absentmindedly at the lit button indicating the floor. He was tall; he was a head taller than me. It wasn’t only in height that he was bigger, he was also broad-shouldered. When I lost balance for a brief moment and bumped shoulders with him, it was as if my body would fit perfectly in his arms. Even that part of him was reminiscent of my father.

We got out of the elevator, and the moment we stepped towards the restaurant, we were at a loss for words for an instant.

The restaurant had a panoramic view with glass surrounding its entirety. The light inside the restaurant was turned down low. Because of this, our eyes were drawn to the night sky. It almost felt as if we could grab the stars…these jewels, if we only reached out.

“Maybe it’s because it’s raining, but it’s like the light is bleeding in the sky.”

“Aren’t you afraid of heights though?”

“Oh, I’m perfectly fine. I don’t hate the feeling of falling– I’d even like to try sky diving one day if I have the chance. Now that I think about it, committing suicide by jumping from a tall place might not be so bad.”

I laughed. “Hey, don’t you think this is a bit too romantic?”

“Well I was just thinking that a restaurant like this is somewhere where we should take someone who we’re dating.”

“Well, what can we do? We’re already here. I’ll suck it up for tonight.”

I ordered Cablis when the middle aged man wearing a uniform came to take our order. “Do you mind?” I asked.

“Oh, just one drink won’t kill you. I’ll drink the rest.”

“Well then,” I said. “It’s buffet style here. Not only that, but it’s delicious. I’m sure you’ll love it. Let’s go get dinner, why don’t we?”

“What?”

“If we were going out, that’s what I probably would have said. A guy in that kind of situation would probably say something like how he’s had some wine in his system, he can’t drive them home and make some excuse to book a room. On a romantic night like tonight, I’d bet the guy could probably get away with that.”

“As if I have the kind of money to do that. How can I drive my car all the way to Yokohama, wine and dine them at an extravagant restaurant and not only that but pay the cost of a twin room bed for the night?”

There was a bite in my words. I felt so foolish for saying what I did. It was such a joke. At this rate, I was coming across as just a rich, bitter aging woman who was jealous of the younger boy she had just met.

I replied, “Don’t be silly.” but I didn’t know what to say after that so I hastily stood up. “Aren’t you going to get anything to eat? I’m starving.”

I saw an illusion of the stars outside the window making a rumbling sound as it wrapped itself around me in a whirlpool.

Chapter end