Lemon Incest c11

He wasn’t drunk, and he didn’t seem like he was in a particularly bad mood either. As the sun set in the horizon, he showed up at my door step saying, “I left; Watanabe-san to look after the store, so I don’t have to go back tonight,” before he took me in his arms.

He was impatient though as he sat down, wrapped me in his arms, and began to kiss me. Even though his actions had a natural flow to it, it was strange how rushed he was being.

“No, I just wanted to see you, that’s all.”

He didn’t reply to my comment and just whispered in my ear, “It’s been a while since we had a night out together. Why not tonight? It is the day of the Hina festival, after all.”

“It’s a day to celebrate women.”

“How about wine in place of that?”

“You don’t need to do that.”

He chuckled and leaned down to lightly bite down on my earlobe. I felt his breath on the back of my neck.

“Stop it.”

“I’m not in the mood for that tonight.”

“I said, no!”

He lifted both my arms into the air and I couldn’t move my body.

“You’re lying, Mio. You want me all right.”

He covered my lips with his, and my words were lost.

I put a scowl on my face and turned my face away from him as I tried to escape his kisses, but he easily captured my lips time and time again. He didn’t even seem irritated by my lack of enthusiasm as he continued sensual kisses. If you put aside the fact that his breathing was slightly uneven, he wasn’t any different from his usual calm self.

He always had the upper hand. He didn’t know what it meant to lose. When it came to holding me down on the sofa like this, it felt as if he would forever remain the victor.

He continued his caresses. I closed my eyes and let my thoughts drift. I could feel my body begin to physically react to his touches. I knew full well how pleased he would be that my body was responding to him, and yet, I was helpless to stop it.

I questioned myself again and again in my mind why this could happen, but I didn’t have the answer to that question.

It was a story about a distant relative of a lawyer acquaintance of Misao’s. She had been having a sexual relationship with her superior at work. Eventually, a man she truly cared for appeared in her life, and so she attempted to use that opportunity as a means of putting the affair with her superior behind her; things didn’t go as planned though. Every time she tried to bring up the topic, he would reach out to her, and every time, it would end with her not being able to say goodbye.

When Misao had first told me that story, I wondered if there was such depth to a hatred that could lead to someone wanting to bite their own tongue off. At that time, I wondered why she had to resort to that. If she hated what was happening, why didn’t she just end things with her and that man? Why did it have to come to the point where she tried to bite off her own tongue?

After he had gone through the motions of gently caressing me on the sofa, he lifted me as if I weighed nothing and took me to my bedroom.

Although my body was trying to accept the physical sexual release that was fast approaching, my mind was rejecting it, and the imbalance that gave rise from this led to me saying this.

He laid me down on the bed and took off my clothes. I did nothing more than lay on my back and glare the ceiling as he did so. I could feel tears forming in the corners of my eyes. My heart was rejecting everything about this man in front of me, and yet my body was embracing him. It felt as if my body had separated from my mind.

Although what I felt then hadn’t been lust, in that moment, I had felt a deep, deep ecstasy. I also felt a wash of relief come over me, like the kind that gave rise when animals burrowed in a nest together. It was a quiet happiness that came from the realization that I wasn’t alone. It was a feeling of deep satisfaction that made me want to cry out…

Even though I kept my distance, from time to time, our eyes would meet, and his eyes would have a sparkling serenity to them. Whenever I felt his probing gaze, I felt a rush of warmth. Even though he wasn’t touching me, I felt a heat as if he had. Every time that happened, a sinful joy would take a hold of my heart.

He was looking down on me. It may just be that each caress was an insult, his way of telling me that he was the one who was making my body respond, and he was the one who would make me cry out in the throes of passion.

“I want to see you turned on,” he said. “I want to see the Mio who wants me.”

“Oh, really? Is that right? Are you sure? Don’t lie to me now. Liars fall down to the pits of hell, you know. See? Can’t you feel how much you want me…”

In my heart, I was crying out to Shougo. I wanted to see him. I wanted him to cleanse me from this disgusting person I had become.

The bedroom curtains were still open, and I could see from my window the sun that had begun to set. The light hadn’t been turned on, so the room was slightly dark and an ink-washed darkness spread out before me. I couldn’t even see clearly the outline of his body as he shed his clothes.

And with that, I said in a low voice to this man who was standing in front of me in his underwear:

“What?”

“What are you so upset about?”

I felt something stretch to a ripping point and snap. Silence swept the room.

Muda let out a short chuckle, “You said you didn’t want to sleep with me? You said that.”

“You’ve never said something like that to me before.”

He didn’t answer. He stood motionless and looked at me. I was still naked.

“Okay, fine. I got it.” He said in a low voice.

He ran his fingers through his hair to straighten it. He bent down to pick up the watch that had fallen on the floor. Without putting it on, he shoved it into his pants and he left the room without another word.

I was still undressed as I dashed to the front entrance, locked the door, and put the chain in place. I closed all the curtains in my apartment, jumped into the shower, and scrubbed my body.

“Where are you right now?”

“I’m at my apartment. You said that you didn’t have work tonight, right?”

“…I want to see you.”

“It’s the same for me,” he replied. “I want to see you too. Let’s meet.”

“Of course. Should I go over to your place? Or would you rather meet somewhere else?”

“Mine?”

“You’re welcome here, it’s just… it’s really small. You’ll be shocked by how small it is. If you’re okay with that, then…”

I wanted to see what his room looked like. This urge stemmed from a genuine curiosity and nothing more than that.

That being said, I could pretty much guess what I would come across. His room would probably be unbelievably messy with faded curtains, half-heartedly stacked books and magazines, bed sheets that hadn’t been changed in months, a kitchen overflowing with dishes that had traces of food crusted over, and a CD case that was in a disarray…

And as I did so, the feeling of each and every caress that Muda had done would fade away in no time… I was sure of it. I’ll lean against his chest, and I would be able to release all the tension that had built up inside me. It would be like a small animal that had returned back to its warm den…

“Why are you laughing?”

In surprise, I looked around me, and I spotted him leaning against a telephone pole no more than fifty metres from where I was. “I figured you’d get off at the station, so I was waiting for you. What do you want to do? Do you want to continue to talk on the phone like this? Do you want to follow me as we talk? That would be pretty interesting, don’t you think?”

I felt a warm ripple through my heart.

“Because I want to walk with you while holding hands.”

“What do you mean?”

Numerous cars sped by. The car headlights illuminated his face in the darkness. The night city gave off the air of spring.

I ran up to him, and I stopped abruptly in front of him. I didn’t know what to do next, and just looked up at him as I gasped for air. His eyes sparkled as he laughed; I joined in.

It was neither new nor old. Even though it wasn’t far from the station, it was almost unusual how quiet it was here. We took the elevator up to the fifth floor, and walked down the hall to his apartment which was at the end of the hall. The door clicked closed, and we were enveloped in silence.

The kitchen was clean, and the dishes were meticulously stacked. There were no unwashed glasses in the sink. The only thing that was on the kitchen table was a lone coffee can.

On the black long, narrow table was a laptop. Notebooks and paper were stacked neatly on and under the table. The only other things in the room were a small CD player, a small television, a VHS player and a foldable round table. There were only the bare basics and nothing more. There was no sense of the grime that came from a person living there. The necessities were there, and you could get the sense that there was someone probably living here, but there was no unique touch to it.

“I know a magic spell,” he joked. “I cast a spell to make this room turn clean in an instant right before you got here.”

“Haha. Would you like something to drink?”

“I have a pretty limited selection. It’s either instant coffee, beer or cheap whiskey.”

He nodded and pulled out two cans of beer from a small refrigerator in the kitchen and handed one to me.

“So you live here by yourself, huh?”

“You study here, do your laundry here…”

“You go to the post office, the bank, and supermarket by yourself… You work part-time at Tadzio, and make enough to live off of all on your own. On top of that you go to school and study at home… that’s pretty amazing.”

“I’m impressed, that’s all. How can we be related and yet so different? When it comes right down to it, you’re pretty straight as an arrow. Your life has a stability to it, and you’re someone who can live independently.”

“You have a strong spirit. It truly is strong; that’s the feeling I have.”

“Why?”

“I shouldn’t have expected any less from a philosopher,” I smiled. “I admire that part about you. You’re a brother I’m proud to have.”

My eyes widened, and I closed my mouth that had opened to say something else. He continued to gaze at me unwaveringly.

“Hey, could you not say things that fluster me?”

“In normal circumstances, I don’t think there would ever come a time when someone would make their brother their lover.”

I pretended to be deep in thought. “It’s God who banned it, isn’t he? He banned it, and it was only afterwards that the law got involved.”

“What are you trying to get at?”

I let out an exaggerated laugh. I placed the can of beer I had been drinking on the floor before I poked him in the cheek.

“It’s the same for me,” he replied as a soft smile formed on his lips.

“Hey, I stopped by the convenience store and bought some rice balls and a sandwich. Do you want some?”

“Oh, then would you rather go out to eat?”

We sat beside each other as we shared the rice balls and sandwich and drank the instant coffee that Shougo had made. I used the remote control to turn on the TV. There were some small time TV personalities who were making a fuss, and as we watched the show, we cracked jokes at the expense of the people who were on the screen and we rolled around in laughter.

I was dressed in black jeans and a black turtleneck sweater. I leaned against the wall lazily as if I were at my own house. He made me a watered down whiskey. He said he had an apple too, so I peeled it and sliced it into quarters. The sweet scent of apples permeated the air.

“For what?”

“What are you talking about?”

He reached for the remote control and turned off the television. A quietness settled in the room.

Shougo remained silent. I returned my half-eaten apple onto the plate.

“There’s no need for you to think that way.”

“So…what happened?”

“…the sex.”

“Oh,” he said. “I’m glad.”

“Of course. I feel sick to my stomach just to picture you and him together.”

He didn’t say anything in return. He crossed his legs and pushed back his hair as if it irritated him. “I don’t want to talk of stuff like that.”

“I just don’t.”

“I’m not running away. It’s just…”

“If I were to start telling you to not see Muda-san and to cut ties with him… there’s no putting a stop to it. If I started saying things like that, I have a feeling that I’d start digging into the past and doing something stupid.”

“Like tracking down every man you’ve ever had sex with and taking a swing at them. That wouldn’t even be enough so I’d round them up, pour gasoline on them and lit them on fire. No…it wouldn’t just be those you had sex with. It’d be all the men you’ve ever kissed… anyone who’s even so much as hit on you…”

He continued, “I can’t stand any of it. Any man who’s ever so much as touched you… you’re mine, and I’m yours.”

His shoulders were shaking slightly. It was my first time ever seeing him like this. This person in front of me was someone who had bared his feelings. There was also no denying that this person in front of me was my biological brother. He was my brother, and yet… not. He was like a lover, but at the same time, he was someone who could never fully become one… he was a mysterious being…

“Turn this way,” I said in a hoarse whisper.

“You silly fool,” I said and smiled lightly. A small smile formed on his lips in return.

We hesitated, and stopped mid-way, moved apart, but then began to lean forward once again. Our lips were so close, but it felt as if the distance wasn’t getting any closer.

“A kiss… nothing more,” his voice shook as he said this.

The kiss that I had been waiting and longing for for the longest time was a brief, awkward one.

Chapter end