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How To Avoid Death On A Daily Basis Chapter 235: Gathering of the Clouds
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How To Avoid Death On A Daily Basis Chapter 235: Gathering of the Clouds

Chapter 235: Gathering of the Clouds

There was a smoking crater where the palace used to be. A lot of people must have died or were in the process. Flowers continued to rain down.

Evand was sitting on the ground next to me, his whole body shaking, his small fists clutching handfuls of grass like he was afraid he might fall off the earth. 

“What do you mean, set her free?” I asked, his terror invading my voice even though I had no idea what he was going on about.

“Look.” He pointed at Requbar, not at the city itself but over it.

There was a pillar of smoke which was mostly dirt and debris thrown up by the blast. As I watched, something moved through the smoke. At first I thought it was just the wind, but it was more like something solid in the way of the smoke, only invisible.

“What is it?” I asked.

“It is an elf,” said Raviva. “It is reclaiming its true form.”

“That’s an elf?” Even from the slight signs of its presence, it was huge. “If that’s an elf, what’s he?” I pointed at Evand.

“You said he was an elf,” said Raviva. “In the rat’s body. Is that not so?”

That’s what I’d assumed. That’s what Evand had led me to believe, which obviously counted for nothing. It could be Evand was a different kind of elf, or one able to maintain a less colossal form, but his non-corporeal form had felt entirely different from this thing standing over Requbar.

“Are you an elf?” I asked Evand.

“That fool, he’s doomed us all.” Evand was too distraught to pay attention to me. “This isn’t my fault, this isn’t my fault.”

I was getting the impression what Evand was really worried about was his own neck. And not just from the thing with its head in the clouds, but for being blamed for this. Which suggested it was his job to make sure it didn’t happen.

“Claire, are you back online?”

Claire shook her head. Whatever was dampening our abilities, it was mobile and with us, which suggested it was on Evand. Since all he took from the tomb were some gems, it stood to reason one of them was the cause. 

I grabbed Evand and pulled him to his feet. As he was in Nyx’s body, it wasn’t very difficult to shake him around and locate the gems. I gathered them together and gave them to Dudley. 

“Take them in that direction and keep going until I tell you to stop.” I nodded down the other side of the ridge we were on, away from Requbar. Dudley took them and set off. Flossie hurried after him, one hand holding the back of his jacket, turning her head to keep an eye on me.

I waited for Claire or Jenny to give me an indication they were feeling that old black magic again. Dudley kept going, further and further away. Possibly my theory was incorrect.

“Yes!” said Claire. She was staring into Maurice’s ear. She grabbed his head and kissed it, much to Maurice’s surprise. I guess he was thinking something she approved of.

“Ugh.” Jenny clutched at her chest. “I’m fine,” she said, waving her hand like she was telling me not to come to her aid, which I wasn’t.

I still had hold of Evand. He was still too stunned to put up any resistance, his attention purely on whatever the Queen was turning into. So far, the smoke had revealed very little other than size, but it made Gargantua, the biggest monster we’d encountered to date, look like a toddler. 

I dragged Evand over to Claire and then pushed him down on his back so he had to look at me leaning over him. 

“What’s your true relationship to the Queen?” I asked him. He was still trying to look past me so I shook him vigorously. “Tell me.”

“We can stop her,” he said desperately, “if we work together. Let me go, I’ll talk to her. Maybe I can...”

He was so full of shit he couldn’t even get the words passed the turds in his mouth. I looked up at Claire who was standing beside me. 

“It’s hard to tell, lots of confusing thoughts and images. I think… I think he was a servant. A butler, maybe.”

I shook him again. “Were you a butler? Come on, Jeeves, out with it.”

“No, of course not,” Evand’s voice vibrated through the shaking. “I was… I’m the only one who can stop her.” More turds.

“No, not a butler,” said Claire. “A jailer.” 

The sudden look of guilt on Evand/Nyx’s face made it obvious Claire was on point.

“You were supposed to keep her locked up?” I kept shaking him for some reason. 

His head flopped backwards and he began whining. “It wasn’t my fault. It would have been fine if you’d just let her be. How was I supposed to know the spires were active? I couldn’t have known. She promised she’d come right back.”

“But why did you let her out? Was it supposed to be weekend leave? What kind of jailer are you?” I didn’t really need him to answer. The shit kind, obviously.

His head was lolling and he was completely unresponsive. I gave him another shake and then pinched his ear and then twisted it. 

“Ow! No, stop, ow, ow.”

“There’s more where that came from, now answer me. Why did you let her out?”

“We’d been trapped together for so long, I thought I could trust her. She just wanted to see the surface again, just for a little while.”

If Stockholm syndrome is where the hostage starts sympathising with their captors, he obviously had the reverse. He was meant to keep her locked up for whatever reason, but she’d got him to feel sorry for her and let her out on a jolly. Idiot.

“Can you put her back? Hey, focus. Can you put her back.”

“I don’t know. Yes. Maybe. If she hadn’t been released. But now…”

He was all over the place. I had no idea how reliable his answers were.

“How long before she reforms completely?” I needed to establish how much time we had before she started doing whatever it was humongous elfs did.

“A day, two at most,” said Raviva.

He seemed to know a lot about it. “And then where will she go?” He shook his head. Not that much, though. But I could tell from his utterly serious tone—which wasn’t like him at all—that things were bad.

I asked the same question of Evand, only more forcefully. More ear twisting was required. “Fengarard!” he screamed. “She will destroy the spires so the others will never be able to return.”

“Can the spires be used to stop her?”

“Yes, but only if… No, no they can’t.”

I looked at Claire.

“I think… I think the spires can stop her, but they’ll be useless for what he wants, then.”

He wanted to protect the spires. If she was left to do what she wanted, she’d destroy them. But if he told us how to use them against her, we’d destroy them. He was hoping if he did nothing, some miracle would save him, like every idiot who wants to solve a dilemma by choosing the non-existent third option. 

I let go of Evand and he dropped to the ground, limp and useless. I looked around and caught Biadet staring at me. She was furthest away, behind everyone. She turned and vanished. Gone to report to Gullen, or maybe her master.

“There is no way to defeat an elf,” said Raviva. “We must run.”

“And go where?” I asked him.

“If the elf goes to Fengarad, we should go as far in the opposite direction as we can. The fourth city is our best hope. We will have a little more time that way.” He was being a real downer. “At least there is only one of them.”

Was there? She’d spent a lot of her furlough breeding, and with quite some gusto. Were her offspring some kind of extension of her? Was Nyx?

“We must go to Fengarad,” said Laney, pushing her way past Claire. “We have to warn them. We have to save them. I command you. I order you. I… please.”

I was leaning towards going with the trolls. I wasn’t sure where the fourth city was, but I was up for a road trip.

I turned to Gabor. “Things any clearer now?”

“All outcomes point to us being wiped out. Except one.”

I was all ears, as was everyone else. “And that is?”

“You must come up with a way to defeat her,” he said to me.

“And how do I do that?”

“I don’t know,” said Gabor. “I only know you’re the only one who has a chance.”

“So all options are bad, apart from the one I come up with, which you have no idea what it is? What kind of bullshit calculation is that?”

“I don’t know if you can stop her,” said Gabor. “All outcomes are bad, except when you’re a variable. Then, I can’t see the outcome. It’s not much, I know, but it is still better than every other path.”

This was just getting better and better. “So if I do come up with something, we could still all die.”

“Yes,” said Gabor.

“We are unable to help you,” said Raviva. The trolls gathered around him, ready to leave. 

I turned to the Ogre Magi. Her brood looked scared and confused. I couldn’t see them being much use in their condition. “You should go, too,” I said. “Find somewhere safe and hide.”

The Ogre Magi didn’t argue. The ogres lumbered off, growling and making plaintive sounds. Dudley’s fiancée made a break towards him but the Magi grabbed her and dragged her away.

“We wish you well, Colin,” said Raviva, and they left, too. My mighty army had deserted me one by one. Just as well. I was never comfortable in big crowds.

“Where do you want to go?” asked Jenny.

“What about him?” I kicked Evand to indicate who I meant. “What happens if you take him in and out of the equation you put me in?”

Gabor considered it. “Yes. He is necessary, I believe.”

And what could Avand do for me? Defeat the elf? Probably not. Get me inside the spire?

“The way I see it,” I said, “Uncle Peter did this, and he has the means to undo it. We have to go to Fengarad.”

Laney squealed with delight and then jumped towards me. Jenny blocked her off and sent her soaring away to land with a bump. She didn’t seem too upset about it.

“What about you two?” I asked Gabor.

“We are in the same boat,” said Roland. Gabor nodded his agreement.

There was very little chance we would succeed, whatever we did. But we had a day at least to try before Big Bertha got going for real. The thing about having a head start is you need to stop dithering and get on with it.

“Hey Flossie!” I shouted down the hill. “Can you call us a dragon?”

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343: But Can You Do This?
342: Happy Endings
341: I Am What I Am
340: How Was It for You?
339: Nothing Holding Me Back
338: You Do That Hoodoo
337: Not All Heroes Wear Capes
336: Woke AF
335: Compartmentalise. Compartwomentalise and Compartchildrentalise, too
334: Adapt. Absorb. Assimilate.
333: On the Stump
332: The Popular Vote
331: New Model Army
330: Plenty More Fish in the Sea
329: Meat Is Murder
328: Voulez-Vous Trébuchet Avec Moi?
327: Guess Who's Coming to Dinner
326: Marry in Haste, Repent at Leisure
325: Welcome to Shrine Island
324: Captain, My Captain
323: Half-Life 3 Confirmed
322: Expect the Unexpectable
321: Unexpected Item in the Bagging Area
320: Pacifist Run
319: Boss of This Gym
318: Second Prize in a Beauty Contest
317: Personal Allowance
316: Twisted Firestarter
315: A Good Quest Is Hard to Find
314: World's Greatest Solo Player
313: The Stupid Fat Face of Adveristy
312: Another Fish Mess
311: Death by Water Pistol
310: What a Time to be Alive!
Chapter 309: Don't Forget to Breathe
Chapter 308: Wizard Bitch
Chapter 307: The Older Woman
Chapter 306 - Paywall
Chapter 305: Further Beyond
Chapter 304: Sisters of No Mercy
Chapter 303: Shame on You
Chapter 302: There's No You in Team
Chapter 301: Cockblocula
Chapter 300: Indignation Remix
Chapter 299: Planning for the Future
Chapter 298: Never Prosper
Chapter 297: Lead Me Not into Temptation
Chapter 296: Be Nice to People on the Way Up
Chapter 295: Hold the Moan
Chapter 294: God of Wut?
Chapter 293: Freedom for All
Chapter 292: Losing My Edge
Chapter 291: Don't Hate the Player
Chapter 290: Vines of Communication
Chapter 289: Dead Gods and Englishmen
Chapter 288: Till Death Don't Us Part
Chapter 287: Show Before Tell
Chapter 286: The Unprincipled Certainty
Chapter 285: Dead Men Walking
Chapter 284: Fear of Flailing
Chapter 283: No Refunds
Chapter 282 : Church of Me
Chapter 281: Burnt Salad
Chapter 280: Feel the Fear and Druid Anyway
Chapter 279: Watching the Defectives
Chapter 278: A Man of Substance
Chapter 277: Every Cult Has a Silver Lining
Chapter 276: Born Again
Chapter 275: Never on a First Date
Chapter 274: Bad Sensei
Chapter 273: Pope Idol
Chapter 272: I Have the Power
Chapter 271: Underdog Now, Overlord Later
Chapter 270: WWJD?
Chapter 269: Chilling
Chapter 268: These Aren't the Druids You're Looking For
Chapter 267: Welcome to Gorgoth
Chapter 266: God Tier
Chapter 265: Land of the Setting Sun
Chapter 264: Colin-Fu is Leaking
Chapter 263: Childish Colino
Chapter 262: Cash Me Outside
Chapter 261: Grotto Life
Chapter 260: Too Few To Mention
Chapter 259: There Was an Attempt
Chapter 258: Party to a Lie
Chapter 257: Attention Please
256: Procrastination Agent
Chapter 255: Flags Flying High
Chapter 254 - Guardians of the Greenery
Chapter 253: Tilted
Chapter 252: The Touchables
Chapter 251: Chinny Chin Chin
Chapter 250: Winner Winner, Chicken Dinner
Chapter 249: Pest Control
Chapter 248: The Hero's Jenny
Chapter 247: On the Hook
Chapter 246: Eye on the Prize
Chapter 245: Battle of Five Armies (Part 2)
Chapter 244: Hanging by a Thread
Chapter 243: Beware My Power
Chapter 242: Blow by Blow
Chapter 241: Dark Side of the Brain
Chapter 240: Head Counsel
Chapter 239: Enemy Lines
Chapter 238: Dargot After Dark
Chapter 237: From a Great Height
236. Diamond in the Rough
Chapter 235: Gathering of the Clouds
Chapter 234: The Frenemy of My Frenemy
Chapter 233: The Hard Carry
Chapter 232: Bone to Pick
Chapter 231: Sonny Days, Laney Nights
Chapter 230: Elfen Lied
Chapter 229: Resistance Is Fruitful
Chapter 228: Faithless
Chapter 227: Killer Queen
Chapter 226: Gatekeeper
Chapter 225: Requbar Revival
Chapter 224: Silent But Dudley (Side Story)
Chapter 223: Rated, Baited, Delegated
Chapter 222: Colin Ascendant
Chapter 221: Beat the Retreat
Chapter 220: Battle of Five Armies (Part 1)
Chapter 219: Love's Labour Lost
Chapter 218: The Pursuit of Happiness
Chapter 217: Dudley Wa Hooo!
Chapter 216: The Naked Ape
Chapter 215: When Two Girls Go To War
Chapter 214: Let Sleeping Dragons Lie
Chapter 213: The Easy Way Out
Chapter 212: Remember the Name
Chapter 211: Head Start
Chapter 210: Working Girl
Chapter 209: Down the Local
Chapter 208: Newkie State of Mind
Chapter 207: Together Again for the First Time
Chapter 206: Fantastic Four and a Half
Chapter 205: Choosing Sides
Chapter 204: Can't Make an Omelette
Chapter 203: Path of Most Resistance
Chapter 202: The Back Stabbers
Chapter 201: Girl Man and Rat Boy
Chapter 200: Never Go Back
Chapter 199: Notes from the Underground
Chapter 198: Ghosting
Chapter 197: Re: Slime
Chapter 196: King Killer Confessionals
Chapter 195: Ratopolis Now
Chapter 194: Duck Hunt
Chapter 193: Escapology
Chapter 192: Mr Sabotage
Chapter 191: Heart of Dimness
Chapter 190: Sonny With a Chance of Power
Chapter 189: Run Rat Run
Chapter 188: Girl Interrupted
Chapter 187: Two's Company
Chapter 186: A Terrible Rebel
Chapter 185: The Good Dungeon Guide
Chapter 184: Escort Service
Chapter 183: Welcome to Requbar
Chapter 182: Dragon and Off Again
Chapter 181: One Man Party
Chapter 180: Don't Talk To Me Or My Son Ever Again
Chapter 179: Yuqi In The Sky With Diamonds
Chapter 178: Out Of The Box
Chapter 177: Better The Devil You Know
Chapter 176: Roguelike
Chapter 175: The Long Way Home
Chapter 174: Betray You, Betray Me
Chapter 173: Martyr Dome
Chapter 172: In The Huddle
Chapter 171: A Winning Plan
Chapter 170: Free your Mind
Chapter 169: Dad Talk
Chapter 168: Sweep The Leg
Chapter 167: Square Peg
Chapter 166: A Bad Feeling
Chapter 165: Block Rocking Beats
Chapter 164: Treasured
Chapter 163: Walls Have Ears
Chapter 162: Saviour Of The Universe
Chapter 161: Welcome To Nekromel
Chapter 160: A New Hope
Chapter 159: Face Your Demons
Chapter 158: In It To Win It
Chapter 157: Galvanise
Chapter 156: Collision Course
Chapter 155: Manual Override
Chapter 154: Democracy Inaction
Chapter 153: Claire Knows It All
Chapter 152: Say Hello To My Little Friend
Chapter 151: Revolution Road
Chapter 150: Destiny Calling
Chapter 149: Forever? Forever, ever?
Chapter 148: Come Here Often?
Chapter 147: Back Once Again For The Renegade Master
Chapter 146: Yuqi Yuqi Yuqi
Chapter 145: The Disorient Express
Chapter 144: Plan Of Attack
Chapter 143: How To Make Fiends And Influence People
Chapter 142: All You Need Is Phil
Chapter 141: Born To Run
Chapter 140: Time Of Your Life
Chapter 139: Sorcerers Vs Warlocks
Chapter 138: Head In The Clouds
Chapter 137: Death From Above
Chapter 136: Lay Of The Land
Chapter 135: Jester Of Your Dreams
Chapter 134: One Up
Chapter 133: A Drop In The Ocean
Chapter 132: All At Sea
Chapter 131: The Only Girl In The World
Chapter 130: Here Comes The Bride
Chapter 129: Revelations
Chapter 128: Welcome Back
Chapter 127: Mask
Chapter 126: Room For Truth
Chapter 125: Face To Face
Chapter 124: Way Of The Beast
Chapter 123: My Dinner With Angry
Chapter 122: Sympathy For The Archfiend
Chapter 121: Castle In The Air
Chapter 120: King Worm
Chapter 119: The King Is Dead, Long Live The King
Chapter 118: Dragon Ball F
Chapter 117: Blast Off
Chapter 116: Follow The Leader
Chapter 115: Enola Gay
Chapter 114: Get Lucky
Chapter 113: Man Vs Wild
Chapter 112: Dog Day Afternoons
Chapter 111: Heroes Of Myth And Legend
Chapter 110: The Worm Turns
Chapter 109: Beware The Jabberwock
Chapter 108: Welcome To Monsterland
Chapter 107: Brassed Off
Chapter 106: Washed Up
Chapter 105: A Bridge Too Near
Chapter 104: Grief Encounters
Chapter 103: Tripping
Chapter 102: Chain Gang
Chapter 101: Colin of the F.O.
Chapter 100: Diplomatic Immunity
Chapter 99: She Afraid
Chapter 98: Walking Through Walls
Chapter 97: The Word Of God
Chapter 96: Blind Man's Bluff
Chapter 95: The Tao Of Colin
Chapter 94: Back To Mine
Chapter 93: Stone Cold
Chapter 92: The Waiting Game
Chapter 91: The Doctor Is In
Chapter 90: Assault On Pickled Gherkin
Chapter 89: Locked In
Chapter 88: The Flossie Show
Chapter 87: Kizwat's Silver Hammer
Chapter 86: Trouble In The City
Chapter 85: A Word Of Warning
Chapter 84: No Deal Or Deal
Chapter 83: Dinner With The Devil
Chapter 82: Welcome To Dargot
Chapter 81: Sunny Side Up
Chapter 80: Gutted
Chapter 79: Dungeons & Divas
Chapter 78: Troll-In-Chief
Chapter 77: Breakout
Chapter 76: Tunnels & Trolls
Chapter 75: Hope Versus Expectation
Chapter 74: Zomber, Please
Chapter 73: Night Of The Living Zombers
Chapter 72: The Mandy Project
Chapter 71: Lizard Blizzard
Chapter 70: Tin Man
Chapter 69: Trial By Fire
Chapter 68: Waiting For A Star To Fall
Chapter 67: Meet The Family
Chapter 66: Together Again
Chapter 65: Dudley Done Right
Chapter 64: Let's Talk About Sex, Baby
Chapter 63: Gone Fishin'
Chapter 62: Save The Frog
Chapter 61: Last One Out
Chapter 60: Sword Smarts
Chapter 59: Book Smarts
Chapter 58: A Wild Princess Appears
Chapter 57: By Royal Appointment
Chapter 56: Wait For It
Chapter 55: It's Nice To Be Wanted
Chapter 54: Win Lose Draw
Chapter 53: Frog Capture Plan
Chapter 52: Man On A Mission
Chapter 51: The Emporium Of Needs And Desires
Chapter 50: Welcome To Fengarad
Chapter 49: The Commander And The Princess
Chapter 48: Fengarad City Limits
Chapter 47: The Goodbye Girls
Chapter 46: Rogue Ogre
Chapter 45: Sword Art Offline
Chapter 44: Then A Hero Comes Along
Chapter 43: When You Got To Go
Chapter 42: There's No Such Thing
Chapter 41: The Farmer's Wife
Chapter 40: Needs Must
Chapter 39: Journey To The West
Chapter 38: Farewell To Probet
Chapter 37: Behind The Curtain
Chapter 36: Loot Roll
Chapter 35: Monster Hunter 2.0
Chapter 34: Teach Me, Master
Chapter 33: Monster Hunter 1.0
Chapter 32: Prepare To Fight
Chapter 31: A New Challenger Has Appeared
Chapter 30: Got To Catch 'Em All
Chapter 29: Into The Woods
Chapter 28: Choose Your Own Adventure
Chapter 27: Shrek 2
Chapter 26: Equipment Upgrade
Chapter 25: Let's Get Salty
Chapter 24: Good Hunting
Chapter 23: Then There Were Three
Chapter 22: A Gift From Prometheus
Chapter 21: May I Take Your Coat?
Chapter 20: Kill The Wabbit
Chapter 19: A Hunting We Will Go
Chapter 18: Lock And Load
Chapter 17: Not Excalibur
Chapter 16: Let's Make A Deal
Chapter 15: Walk On The Wild Side
Chapter 14: Game Plan
Chapter 13: Room For One More?
Chapter 12: Let's Eat
Chapter 11: Taking Stock
Chapter 10: Welcome To Probet
Chapter 9: Party Up
Chapter 8: Dressed To Impress
Chapter 7: Equip Weapon
Chapter 6: FAQ
Chapter 5: Player One Ready?
Chapter 4: Fight or Fight
Chapter 3: Welcoming Committee
Chapter 2: Breathe
Chapter 1: Where Are We?
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