He only married me to show her that he already moved on Chapter 59 - fifty-nine: The start of the real pain

When he got a call from Stacey earlier, he told me he's just going to talk to her and ask her what was the important thing that it couldn't wait until the next day. When he left, I started to think of any possible things that she wants to discuss with him. 

It also crossed my mind that maybe she would ask for his forgiveness and start a new life away from him.. or maybe start a new life together with him, again. And because I don't know what's Gabriel real feelings for her, it makes my head hurt because of thinking what might they be doing. 

I waited for him 'till eleven pm last night, but he didn't come home. I tried to call him until this morning but he's not answering his phone. 

And exactly nine in this morning... he came home, finally. But there's something changed in him. His eyes turned more cold than usual or even more cold than the first day I met him. He looked more serious and had a deep scowl on his face. And if you would look closer, there were deep bags around his eyes. 

"Gab."

I tried to greet him with a cheerful voice, but he just ignored me. He walked past me without giving me even a simple glance. I also noticed the stain on his shirt and the smell of alcohol from him. 

-'What happened to him?'-

I furrowed my eyebrows and followed him into his mini-bar inside the house. 

"Gabriel."

"Leave me alone, Madi. Not now."

I gasped when I heard he called me 'Madi' again. His voice held seriousness and irritation. 

"But I just want to know------"

"Please, Madielyn! Not now! Just please leave me alone!"

My hand automatically lifted up to my chest as I gulped sudden ache. I just want to know if he already had breakfast this morning before he drinks. I can't help not to ask myself.. what happened to their talk yesterday? Was it that bad.. why did he come home in this state? Why did he look like the whole world was in his both shoulders? 

He opened the bottle of wine while clenching his jaws. I gulped and inhaled deeply before I opened my mouth again. 

"If you just need someone to talk, I'm just in my room." I said turning my way back to the living room. But I was just taking my third steps when he called me. 

"Madi."

I sighed and looked around him. 

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to raised my voice on you." he said but still in foul mood. 

I just smiled and shook my head. "No, it's okay. I'll just go to my room." And I didn't wait for his response, I walked away and headed upstairs. 

I blinked away the tears that formed in my eyes. 

"It's okay, Madi. Maybe he just has some problems."

I told myself when I entered my room. It's been a long time since I saw him in his old self. I'm not used to the old Gabriel anymore. I'm now used to the sweet, caring and jolly Gabriel that I am with.. in this past months. 

I didn't noticed that I fell asleep just by thinking of what happened to Gabriel last night. I get up and looked at my bedside clock, it's already two o'clock in the afternoon and I skipped lunch. 

"I've slept for three hours?" I asked myself while getting up. I decided to go down and search for Gabriel but I couldn't see him around the house. 

"Elsa, have you seen Gab around?" I asked our maid when I reached the kitchen. 

"I think he's still in his room, Ma'am Madi." she answered smiling. 

"Oh, yeah. I - I forgot to check his room. Thank you."

"You're welcome, Maam."

I smiled at her. -'Yeah.. how did I forget to check him in his room? Oh.. stupid of me.'-

But I think I don't have to go upstairs to see the person I'm looking for. He's now walking down the stairs and he's also changed in white shirt and cotton shorts. I gulped when he caught me looking at him, but I smiled so it will look normal. 

"Hi." I said with a cheerful voice. 

But he looked at me with seriousness in his eyes and there's also one thing... sadness? What's that for? Something is really wrong with him. He walked towards the U-shaped sofa. I followed him but I remained standing. 

I waited for him to talk...  but he's already seated there for more than a minute and I still can't hear any word from him. 

"Gab... are you ok-----"

"She's pregnant."

Something's cold poured all over my body just by hearing those words. 

"W-Who's pregnant?" I still asked although inside me, I know who's that person he's referring to. 

"Stacey. She's pregnant." he said through gritted teeth. 

Hurt instantly squeezed around my heart and I gulped as almost stumbled and fell from where I am standing. I just gripped the backrest of the couch to support my weight. 

-'Am I hearing him correctly? This can't be true!-'

The pain creeping in my heart is unbearable but I managed to stay calm. 

"Wow! Congratulations!"

I said faking my excitement as I looked at him with all-out smile. And because I am the best actress here, I blinked back the tears and hold my breath. I also walked closer to him and take a seat on his side. 

"That's great news, Gab! You're now going to be a father again!"

But he didn't say anything, he remained quiet. 

"What are you thinking? You should be celebrating right now. How far is she?" I asked in the most jolly voice I have. 

"Two months."

"T-Two....Two months. I see, so you only have seven months for waiting and tada! You're going to have a new baby!"

I gulped the lump inside my throat. So, it's true. He's been with her with those missing days and nights him. He's sleeping with her. 

"I doubt it, Madi." he formed his fists into a ball. 

"What do you mean?"

"I doubt if it's really mine."

"But why?"

"Because it could be Ray!"

I can't find my words after that. I wanted to say to him... 

-'Now you're doubting if it's yours? So, you're now admitting that you really slept with her? 'Cause if not, you already know the answer in the first place that it's not yours. But no.. you're doubting, meaning you have s.e.x with her and now you're not sure if it's yours.'-

We both stayed in quite. I have so many questions to ask, but I don't know how to start. I have so many things to say, but I'm not sure if it's still needed right this moment. I have so many things to confirm, but do I still have to open my mouth? 

I thought these past few weeks, everything is going fine between us. But that was just a thought.. a dream.. an illusion.. because fate just wanted me to taste a bit of heaven.. and then she's now playing with my heart again. 

"Madi.."

I heard him call me, and I felt his hand on top of my knee. I looked at him and smiled, but before I could open my mouth, my cellphone vibrates inside of my shorts' pocket. 

I checked it to see it's Noelle, who's calling. I waved my phone in front of him and he nodded. I excused myself for a while to answer the call. 

"Noelle..."

I gulped as it become a hoarse voice because of trying hard not break down in tears.

"Madi? What happened to your voice? Are you crying?" I can imagine her frown while asking me those questions. 

Well.. not yet.. but I know anytime I will. 

"No. What made you think of that?" I chuckled a bit. 

"Your voice sounded rough and cracked, I thought you're crying."

"No, I'm not. Maybe a little sore in my throat."

"Hmm.. okay. By the way Madi, can you drop by here? You have to check some doc.u.ments before we pass it to our suppliers."

"Yeah.. sure."

"You need to sign it now."

"Oh.. as in now?"

"Yes, princess Madi."

I smiled and I said yes. Maybe I need a little distraction for a moment. After ending the call, I walked back to Gabriel. 

"It's Noelle. She informed me that I need to sign some papers."

He stand immediately. "Okay, I'll go with you."

"No!" my voice was a little bit loud. "I - I mean, you don't need to. I can go visit the outlet on my own."

"Are you sure?" he tried to walk closer to me, but I stepped backwards and act as if I'm going upstairs. 

"Yeah! We're going to have some girly moments. You know.. I missed them, I missed our bonding. 

"Okay."

"I'll go change my clothes." I didn't wait for him to respond, I half run and half walk towards the stairs and to my room. 

I don't know how many times I inhaled deeply and gulped the lump inside my throat just to make sure my tears won't fall. I don't want him to see that I'm crying, because I'm sure he would just ask me why? And what would I tell him? That I'm crying because I'm feeling hurt? And what if he asks me 'why are you feeling hurt? What would I answer him? That I am feeling hurt because I love him, and I love him that's why I am feeling hurt?

Chapter end