Everybody is Kung Fu Fighting, While I Started a Farm Chapter 243

“Sword Array…”

Jiang He thought about it for a long time but could not make headways, and was forced to sigh emotionally. “Creating a Sword Array is really too difficult and an utter waste of brain cells!”

“Immortal Penance Sword Array?”

“That sword array could only be laid out with the Four Immortal Swords of Penance and is only the level of Sages, and I would definitely not plant it with my current farm level.”

Nonetheless, there was a sudden flash of inspiration in Jiang He's head. As if he had caught something, he quickly found some pen and paper, although he did not know how to start after lifting the pen.

“Whatever.”

“Creating things like cultivating method, martial techniques, and Sword Arrays is no different from an essay. It takes a spark of inspiration and must not be rushed.”

As such, Jiang He had to put away his stationery.

He walked into his farm, taking out the many corpses in his System Backpack with a wave of his hand.

Both Dumbo and Trumbo started to dig with their earth-type powers without needing Jiang He to say a word. Yellow halation shone over their bodies, and the soil of the empty ground at the corner of the farm churned, soon forming one grave after another.

“Right, there's the Graywolf King too.”

Jiang He took out the Feral King's corpses at that.

Swish!

The Cloudscraper Vine immediately extended a tendril towards the Graywolf King, but Jiang He knocked it away with a wave of his hand, chuckling. “You can't eat this corpse. I promised the Graywolf King to let it rest in peace.”

Yup.

Planting its corpse count as that, did it not?

As for whether something grows out…

I've already buried you, so what could I do if you grew out on your own?

Meanwhile, the Cloudscraper Vine had withdrawn, its nine 200-meters tendrils shrinking into a ball and appearing rather aggrieved.

Jiang He could not resist a chuckle and scolded. “You're a plant, and yet you're throwing a tantrum? I might have stopped you from eating the Graywolf King, but that doesn't mean I'm not feeding you.”

Whipping out the corpse of the Violet-Crowned Golden Eagle and chopping it in half with a wave of his hand, Jiang He threw it to the Cloudscraper Vine.

Delighted, the Cloudscraper Vine caught the corpse with a single tug, leaving only a pile of bones and feathers after around ten minutes.

Jiang He was about to scold it again but swallow his words just then. Carefully giving it a few glances, he then murmured in delight, “Are you… evolving?”

After all, the Cloudscraper Vine was a special plant.

Right now, each of its tendrils was almost 200 meters and frighteningly tough, and even peak rank-nine elites would have a hard time destroying them. Moreover, the numerous spikes on its branches and leaves would easily pierce through S-grade alloy combat suits.

Jiang He estimated that at the moment, not even rank-nine martial artists with full grasp of the Boundary of Wills could defeat the Cloudscraper Vine now.

If it evolved…

It would reach divine-tier.

Nearby, the willow tree extended one of its branches and rubbed itself intimately over Jiang He's body, its thoughts communicated through spirit as it conveyed envy towards the Cloudscraper Vine.

Jiang He grasped one of the branches that was rubbing away on his body and stroke it a few times, only for the branch to shudder, its crystalline green leaves turning faintly red just like a young lady's cheeks.

“Yo?”

“Getting shy?”

Jiang He was unable to stop himself from laughing. “It's fine for you to keep rubbing me, but you're shying away when I touch you?”

“Kyaa!

“Master, you're so naughty~”

The willow branch shuddered and flushed even redder then, its crisp loli voice echoing in Jiang He's voice with the feeling that it was playing up its adorableness.

“Hehehehe. You've not seen how naughtier I could be—anyway, let's try having you cultivating the daemon cultivation method I recently found. Who knows, you might be able to transform if you could, and I'll do naughty stuff with you then.”

Jiang He teased, and suddenly felt…

A mysterious feeling of outrageousness.

Him, teasing a willow tree?

Dumbo came to him then, exclaiming in delight, “Master, I want to transform too! Master, to transform too…”

Trumbo also raised its blade to write on the ground, “Master, I want to transform too!”

Jiang He turned towards Trumbo with a look of utter shock. “You… can write?”

What the heck?

Was that self-taught?

There was even elegance to the writing even though it was carved out with Sword Qi, and it did not dull in comparison to the calligraphers on tv or the internet.

That said, Trumbo had never written anything before. Could it have learnt it after ascending up to rank-seven? But the most important question here was that it had always been mingling with the silly canine that was Dumbo every single day, who could only count up to 50—and yet it could learn to write?

“Could it be from eating the grave grass?”

“Perhaps there was a calligrapher amongst the Sky Demon Cultists I've killed?”

Jiang He thought then, and asked, “Who taught you to write?”

Trumbo tilted its head in thought, purring once before raising its blade to write, “I learned it after eating a fruit on one of the graves. Just now, I wrote in the Song script, but I could also write in regular script, cursive script, official script, seal script, semi-cursive script, oracle bone inscriptions, Tadpole script…”

Jiang He blinked. He knew regular script, cursive script, semi-cursive script, and even oracle bone inscriptions since he had learned calligraphy himself, but…

What on earth was the Tadpole script?

Were the Sky Demon Cultists really that multi-talented? Or perhaps some Fiend or Decan had been a calligrapher, and after their grave… grew, that aspect of theirs was strengthened?

“No. You are already rank-seven and could use Spirit Acoustics. Why aren't you communicating with me using that?”

This doggone thing was clearly trying to show off its calligraphy skills, was it not?

Hence, Jiang He caught Trumbo by the neck.

The little buster has been eating too well lately and getting well-rounded, to the point that its neck was as thick as its body.

Once cats become rounded from eating too much, their legs would appear quite short—which was the case for Trumbo, even as it flailed its legs wildly in the air and quickly used Spirit Acoustics to communicate in a cutesy tone, “It's my fault, master! I won't show off again!”

Just as he thought…

This thing wanted to flaunt.

Irritated but amused, Jiang He nonchalantly threw Trumbo on the ground as a thought came to mind.

Tadpole script?

Incidentally, each letter of the ancient script in the jade scroll that he found from the Graywolf King's corpse looked no different from tadpoles. Could that be it?

If that was the case, could he not simply pass the scroll to Trumbo, get the cat to translate the text and then give it to Dumbo?

Taking out the jade scroll and handing it to Trumbo, Jiang He then asked, “Do you know the words here?”

Trumbo stood on its rear legs, accepted the jade scroll with its two stumpy front paws and slowly spread it. Purring, it then raised its blade to write on the ground.

“Master…”

That was when the fur on Trumbo's nape bristled. Sensing Jiang He's keenness to hand it a beating, it promptly switched to Spirit Acoustics and said, “Master, this is tadpole script—otherwise known as tadpole font and tadpole letters. It only got its name in the Han Dynasty, even though it is an ancient script dating from the early Qin Dynasty, making it prehistoric.”

“And look, master: that letter means 'Sky', that means 'Daemon', and the long one means 'Invincibility'…”

Trumbo's eyes suddenly lit up at that and it exclaimed in delight, “Sky Daemon Invincibility? Master, is this a daemonic cultivation method?”

“That's right.”

Jiang He nodded and said, “This cultivation manual…”

Whoosh!

Even before he could finish his sentence, Trumbo's figure turned into a blur as it dashed out of the farm, clutching the jade scroll…

Still, it soon returned.

It had found pen and paper, looking high and mighty as it put a foot on Dumbo's head, trilling several times as it did.

Furious, Dumbo raised its paw. “How dare you push big daddy around! Would you believe me if I said I would slap your brains out?”

Trumbo remained fearless, however, even protruding its head and purring in provocation.

“You won't translate Sky Daemon Invincibility if I dared to hit you?”

Dumbo did a double take, and promptly turned fury to laughter. It then darted away, bringing out a table and a chair in seconds.

It even brought along a pair of reading glasses without lenses it picked up somewhere.

Acting the part, Trumbo put on the glasses and leapt up on the chair as it began to translate Sky Daemon Invincibility.

Though entertained, Jiang He walked up and kicked off Trumbo, cursing, “Get somewhere else to translate it. I'm feeling inspired enough to create a Sword Array!”

After all, Jiang He had suddenly remembered a sword cultivator he had read before, which protagonist had an awesomesauce Sword Array.

Kicking off Trumbo, Jiang He sat on the chair.

He took out pen and paper, ready to create a Sword Array when he froze…

What was the name of the Sword Array in that novel again?

It was too long, and he forgot.

“Whatever, having the general idea is enough. It's not like the contents of a novel could be taken seriously anyway, since when it comes to creating cultivation methods, 'creating' is the most important part!”

“And Sword Array is more or less the same as cultivation manuals.”

Jiang He mused to himself for a moment before writing down 'Sword Array of Ice and Fire Duality'… just before all sorts of ideas poured forth like mushrooms after rain.

“Just as I thought! This is like writing an essay, and thinking alone would not develop good writing. Inspiration only bursts forth when I put pen to paper!”

And since he was creating a Sword Array, he naturally had to make it sound a little cooler.

Therefore, what good was Sword Array of Ice and Fire Duality?

“Hmmm…. I'll assume that the Sword Array I create has nine different folds, and Sword Array of Ice and Fire Duality would be the first fold.”

Jiang He had wanted to write one to nine in the first place, but how was a single sword supposed to be unleashed as a Sword Array?

That was why he named the first fold of the Sword Array as the Ice and Fire Duality Sword Array, and then go on from there.

“Second Fold…

“Let's call it Sword Array of Yin-Yang and Three Realms.”

The third would be the Sword Array of Four Harmonies and Universality.

As for the fourth…

Jiang He did a double-take.

What the heck.

Writer's block?

Just after the third fold of the Sword Array?

“It's not really a writer's block, since the problem here is that I can't think of a good name for five… Sword Array of Five Elements? No way, that's too plain, too normal!”

After thinking for a long while, Jiang He decided to fuse five and six.”

“So, the fourth fold of the Sword Array shall be named the Sword Array of Five Elements and Six Pulses. Just putting the 'Six Pulses' in front of the widely used Sword Array of Five Elements feels like it is next level cooler!”

Thanks to the idea of fusing five and six, the fifth fold of the Sword Array became simpler.

He would keep fusing, and therefore came up with the Sword Array of Seven Stars and Eight Trigrams.

Sixth fold, Sword Array of Nine Skies Thunderflame.

Seventh Fold, Sword Array of Ten Realms and Infinity.

As for the eight fold…

“Eh….”

“My Sword Array naming has already reached ten, and it would reach eleven and twelve if I kept going. Forget it, I'll just develop the Sword Array up to the seventh fold.”

Jiang He carefully read the Sword Array he created twice…

And found it perfect!

But after polishing it as well as adding some sound and visual effects, Jiang He became bothered again.

Each of the Sword Array folds had been named, so what should its overall name be?

After thinking for half a day and passing up on a dozen names, Jiang He chuckled feebly and sighed. “Creating a Sword Array is really too difficult. Other aspects notwithstanding, the naming alone was already an early trial.”

“Fine, I'll just call it the Nameless Sword Array. Easy to remember, and most importantly it has a vague mystery to it.”

That was when Jiang He's phone rang.

It was Zhou Yu, and he appeared very respectful, even greeting Jiang He before saying, “Mister Jiang, are you at home right now? I'm under orders from Minister Wang to deliver you your Orirocks and Sword-Will Barrenwort. Would you want me to deliver it to you right away, or…”

Jiang He's eyes lit up then and he laughed out loud. “Perfect timing, Deputy Zhou. I'm home right now, so please deliver me the Orirocks right away. Please hurry!”

Right now, it was already nine o'clock at night.

The Martial Arts Department of Lingzhou City.

Zhou Yu was rather surprised, having just arrived in town…

Was there a need to rush?

Nonetheless, there must be no delay since Jiang He said that it must be delivered right away.

“Chief Duan, Grandmaster Ji, Grandmaster Cheng. I'm off to make a delivery to Jiang He, and we'll talk when I get back.”

Zhou Yu gave the others a fist-palm salute and was about to move, when Cheng Dongfeng leapt forward and spoke with a straight face, “Deputy Zhou, you had not the time to rest since you rushed all the way here. How could we let you go on an errand?”

“Just leave those stuff for me, I'll deliver it… by the way, Chief Duan, bring Deputy Zhou to that newly opened Feral buffet restaurant. Order the best, my treat!”

He took the one-meter-tall metal box out of Zhou Yu's hands and the sandalwood box which held the Sword-Will Barrenwort, turned around, and used his form technique to dash rapidly away.

Zhou Yu was left gaping, unable to respond for a while.

“That Old Cheng… did he have a dramatic change of personality?” He asked in surprise. “He never treated me to dinner—why is he so generous today?”

Ji Dongxu shook his head, looking utterly baffled.

After all, the money-grubbing Cheng Dongfeng only ascended to rank-eight two days ago. When everyone celebrated for him, he only treated them to one smoked chicken and several bowls of spicy soup. Why would he go on an errand in Zhou Yu's stead, even treating everyone to a meal at the Feral restaurant—which menu cost upwards of several hundred thousand bucks with any meal?

Only Duan Tianhe was upset, beating his chest and stamping his feet!

All my hate!

Truly, Cheng Dongfeng deserves to get rich!

Delivering stuff to Jiang He's house in the middle of the night… and get rewarded with a bottle of Origin Fluid if Jiang He were in a good mood…

He had reacted for a split second slower.

Even in the instant he thought of that, Cheng Dongfeng had already taken action!

Chapter end