Princess Lyn: Fleeting Dreams 230 All we can do is shoulder the pain

"I--This is your fault," Lyn exclaimed. She didn't have to look at a mirror to know that she was crying. This is all because Kazuya is an idiot, yes, that's why. The same thing burdens the two of them. But why can't he see things, the way she does? "I understand you Kazuya. I also did the same. I killed because my brother told me too. I didn't even question him or ask for any details. I just used my powers as he instructed. The worse thing is, for brother, it was only training. Training? And yet I ended the lives of so many people, it was awful."

How terrible, how cruel - how could she have ended the lives of so many, just to 'train?' How inhumane. But even then, Lyn knew that no matter how much she regretted things. Time could no longer revert to how they were before. She cannot bring back the lives of the dead. But even then, "All we can do now is shoulder it for the rest of our lives. If we can't be forgiven, then all we have to do is carry this pain and remember it."

That's the conclusion she came up with after so long. No, back then - even before she met Kazuya. Lyn already understood this mindset. But she hid it; she hid it away.

"I'm sorry, Lyn. You keep crying for me."

"Don't apologize, this is only because your an idiot."

"Can I, can I really have that sword?" Kazuya said with a trembling voice.

Lyn now understood why he didn't immediately take the sword. Ah, of course. Why didn't she realize it sooner? – He was afraid. She was already crying, but now even more tears spilled from her eyes. He was afraid, worried that the thing inside the box wasn't a death threat note instead.

She once again recalled the past he might have wanted to forget. But from the current Kazuya, it was clear that he wouldn't have forgotten it. Lyn didn't know precisely what happened back then. But Lyn could see it from the current situation.

Since he entered the Mist Kingdom, people have been calling him all sorts of things. They've all been calling him a traitor. They've said so many hurtful things, but Kazuya hasn't faltered even once. He's always remained strong, and he's even helped her out with her own problems and troublesome thoughts.

From the very beginning, Kazuya was carrying such a heavy burden. But despite all of this, he's always helped her without fail.

"I'm happy. I'm really happy."

"Yeah....."

Even without looking at each other, they knew they were both crying. Lyn felt his tears from her ears, and her tears fell on his neck. They no longer knew who hugged who first. Tears stole away their strength, and they held each other to give themselves support. "Kazuya, I'll always be here for you. I love you so much."

"I'm happy, Lyn; I don't understand why you chose me. But I'm so happy you can be here with me right now."

...

It took a few minutes before Kazuya, and herself completely calmed down. But when they did Kazuya eagerly opened the box, "It really is a blade," he muttered. The two of them sat down on the ground, Lyn wanted to cuddle with him but realized this would be better.

Lyn's eyes sparkled, "It's forged really well."

"Should a girl really be getting excited about weaponry?"

"Pupillam is a girl, too, and she loves weapons."

"That's beside the point, but hey if I use this what about the sword you're reforging for me?"

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Kazuya paused but nodded, "Well, I'm not sure about my dual-wielding skills. But I can give it a shot."

"Say Kazuya, you're really good at magic and using weapons. Did you train by yourself?"

"Yeah," Kazuya smiled, "But, there is no need for you to compare yourself to me. I'm supposedly a genius," he joked.

A genius, huh? That's just somebody who is a fast learner, somebody who only has to look at things at a glance to understand what's written. Lyn doesn't understand why whenever Kazuya mentions it, he gets such a dark look on his face. Lyn reached over and touched his cheeks, "Will you feel better if you touch me?"

Kazuya's cheeks turned red, "Woah... I didn't think you'd..."

Lyn realized what she just said and moved her hand away, "D--don't flatter yourself. I thought you'd feel more comfortable," she paused. 'Gah, why does she keep saying such misleading sounding sentences?' Ever since that time Kazuya held her, she's been thinking such strange thoughts.

Kazuya wrapped his arms around her, "I don't mind, whatever you want. Just tell me."

"K--Kazuya..."

How does she tell him how happy she was that day? Even now, she can't describe it in words.

"Is it really okay? Ever since then, I've wanted nothing more than to hold you in my arms every day, but the two of us are still young. I don't want you to regret anything. I want you to desire me from the very bottom of your heart."

Is Kazuya trying to say that because they are still young, that she would change her mind in the future? Lyn frowned, 'This guy is truly an idiot,' she thought. He's always belittling himself, always looking down on himself. Is there something she can do for him? The thing she just suggested will most likely work if it were for Rhys. But for Kazuya? What can she do for this person that has brought her so much joy and happiness in her life?

Lyn felt Kazuya gently caress her cheeks, "Do you want to touch me, Kazuya?"

"Well, mmm. I wonder if this is the right time for it, though."

Lyn blinked, "There is a right and wrong time?"

"We really should take this slow if you're still asking such questions."

"Uh, that's not it…"

Kazuya ran his hand through his hair, "With you, I really want to treasure every moment we spent together. I don't want any superficial things to get in the way."

Come to think of it; he said such words to her, didn't he? Not too long after they first met Kazuya said it to her, he said that he would treasure her. Even now those words are foreign to her, but Lyn knew despite all the mess lately - he has kept his word this entire time. Kazuya has been treasuring her, but what about her? What has she done for him? Just thinking about it upsets her greatly, but if she were to talk to Kazuya about this. Surely he would be the one consoling her again, that's why it's better if she just kept it to herself.

Lyn shook her head, "Its nothing."

Kazuya gave her a weak smile like he understood what she was thinking and pulled her into his arms. For now, this is enough.

Chapter end