Kara no Kyoukai Vol 1 Epilogue

Epilogue

work early, just before lunch break. I say “work” but really, I’m just more

needs doing. I’m lucky to even get work at all, having dropped out of college

“Kokutō, isn’t today your weekly visit?”

“Oh, don’t delay on account of me. You can go early. There’s nothing

I have to say, Miss Tōko’s temperament when her glasses are on is much

day she cleans that car she’s so proud of to an immaculate sparkle. She

“Thanks, ma’am. I’ll be back in about two hours.”

before I close the door to her office.

still go to visit her every Saturday afternoon. She never told me about any

why she tried to kill me. But at least she smiled in the end, even if it was a

Gakutō had it right a long time ago. I was already crazy. I guess that’s

I still remember the last time we stood in the sunset lit classroom. Under

And I still remember my answer.

in you.”

is, I did. I just didn’t know it at the time. She didn’t kill anyone. That, at

above all others, knew the suffering that the victim and the murderer went

That’s why I believed: in , who couldn’t express herself, in Shiki,

and in Shiki, who knew nothing but pain.

The three pieces now lie poised on the board.

on death, dependent.

One a predator with origin awakened, and to death,

Three now swirl and dance, and in the spiral of

84 • KINOKO NASU / LINGERING PAIN • 84

/ LINGERING PAIN • 85

pet, a pretend kitchen, and I would cook pretend food.

pretend ones.

process cut myself deeply between the fingers.

remember her scolding me for it, then crying and embracing me, saying “I

It was not her consolation that made me happy, but her embracing me,

“Don’t worry, Fujino. The pain will go away once the wound heals,” she

At the time, I didn’t understand what she was trying to say.

86 • KINOKO NASU

“Well, she certainly has her way of introducing herself,” the professor

The university science lab has that synthetic smell of chemical disinfectants

dispels any notion of that quickly. As does the white-coated professor who

white teeth while offering a handshake. I take it.

“Not really. I just want to know some minor things about the topic.”

show of wit. “Well, it doesn’t matter anyway. I’d expect nothing less from

She was always a unique one, and talented. I wish our university

“Er…yes, I’m sure your student problems are important.” I’m starting to

asking about—“

fall under that label. Our university doesn’t really deal with it, however. I’m

my field. There are very few universities here in Japan still giving grants for

successes, though the actual details don’t really—“

interested in how people end up having them in the first place.”

don’t you? What card game is the most popular right now?”

poker, I guess?”

clears his throat for a moment, then moves on. “Let us say that human

everyone else in society is playing poker as well. There are other games,

we have to play, because that’s how we define being normal. Are you following

“So you’re saying that everyone plays a boring card game?”

“But see, that’s what makes it better for everyone. Since everyone plays

and thus we can live in a peaceful consensus.”

poker aren’t so clear cut?”

rules that have an allowance for plants to communicate, and maybe other

than your own. These are not the same games as poker. They have their

but those playing by the rules of other games don’t conform. To them,

“So you’re saying that people not ‘playing poker’, so to speak, have some

“Exactly. Consider a person that knew no other game than the game

talks to plants, but he can’t talk to people. People who see him then brand

then that’s a person with paranormal abilities right there: a person that

However, I’d imagine most people with these sorts of abilities are still capable

in society.”

to plants a crazy person, since he lacks the shared subconscious experience

the other game, and can’t switch between the two, then he’s considered

“That’s right. Society calls these people serial killers and psychopaths,

who, because they play by irregular rules of reality, make their existence

can’t exist.” He pauses for a half beat to collect himself, then added. “This

“Of course, professor. Is there any way to correct a living paradox like

“You’d have to destroy the very rules they play by within their minds.

easy way, or really no other way but to kill them. No one can just suddenly

88 • KINOKO NASU

like solitaire. I hear that game has some pretty complex rules in it.”

joke. I can’t say I share the sentiment.

do when I encounter psychokinetic people.” I say it only half sarcastically.

Oh, brother, here we go again. “Or heck, why not a human arm?” That

“If we’re going by spoon bending, then you have nothing to fear. The

there was someone who could bend an arm, I suggest a hasty withdrawal.”

myself. “I’m sorry to cut this short, professor, but I really need to go.

much of your time.”

any time you need to. And send my regards to Aozaki, won’t you?”

/ 1

up in the middle of a darkened room. The silhouettes of people standing

on. No, not quite right. There was no light in the first place, and darkness

She exhales a long sigh, and brushes her long, black hair lightly with

shoulder is now gone, probably cut off by the man with the knife while he

around her.

financial difficulties, and it was abandoned. Not long after, it became just

various delinquents and robbers. Much of the effects from its better days

middle of the room, next to Fujino, is a single pool table. Everywhere in

with cockroaches scrabbling all over the remains, and a mountain of garbage

filled with urine, a communal container to compensate for the lack of a

Fujino vomit.

ruin could have been in a skid row of some far off country for all anyone

of the door on the top of the stairwell. The faint smell of the alcohol lamp

“Umm…” Fujino mumbles. She looks around slowly, as if this scene is

mind still has some catching up to do.

off from the arm. Wrapped lovingly and securely around it is a digital wristwatch,

time: 8:00pm, not even an hour after what happened.

and she lets slip a strained grunt. She staggers from the ache, and barely 

stops herself from falling face first to the floor by supporting herself with

Remembering that it had been raining today, she realizes that the whole

She takes a moment’s glance at her abdomen, and sees the distinct

The man who stabbed Fujino was a familiar face to anyone in this part

school dropouts and various drifters of similar minds and motivations.

it. They plied their trade in the forgotten maze of backlanes between the

could ever reach. They emerged from these alleys to the harsh lights of the

coercion or force and had their twisted entertainment for the night. It is on

It was a perfect setup. A student of Reien Girl’s Academy, and quite good

vilification, Fujino never told anyone of how she was victimized. This

hesitance they might have had about being found out disappeared.

school. Tonight was supposed to be another routine night, like always, but

He brought out a knife, probably to bring something a little new to the

if they hadn’t done anything to her at all, as if what they did to her didn’t

dominance. And he needed just that little bit of violence, that little ounce

But Fujino didn’t even react, her face a blank expression, even when he

pushed her down to the table, and got to work.

and thinks: I can’t go out looking like this.

Her own spilt blood is concentrated only on her abdomen, but she’s

this. Her foot hits one of their scattered limbs on the floor, and it gives a

If she waits one more hour, the number of pedestrians will start to dwindle.

cold. She’ll just let the rain wash some of the blood of her, and go to a park

After coming to this conclusion, she calms down. Walking away from

a count of the scattered limbs to find out how many corpses are lying on

One.

Three.

Four. Four. Four? No matter how many times I count, it only comes down

“So, one of them managed to escape,” Fujino murmurs to herself. She

If so, I’ll be caught by the police. If he’d already run to a station, I’ll be

to explain what just happened? Would he tell them how they kidnapped

of them were ever smart enough for that.

flickering orange glow illuminates the entire room, making the shadows

arms, sixteen legs, four torsos, four heads, and wet blood spatters in

No time to think on that. After all, the count was missing one, which meant

Do I have to take revenge?

killing, she tries to tell herself, as earnestly as she possibly can. But she

doesn’t permanently shut the mouth of the one who escaped. Her body

what is to come? And, for the moment at least, what doubt lingers in her

92 • KINOKO NASU

her face.

Lingering Pain - I

Starting from my friend who, comatose for two years, has finally regained

and working for Miss Tōko, and even having my sister who I haven’t seen

stop and take a breath. I don’t know if starting my nineteenth summer like

be screwed over with greater frequency.”

some of my old high school friends to go drinking. And before I could so

long since made its last run, leaving me with few commuting options to go

held off till tomorrow, my budget can’t cooperate. Left without a choice, I

and a block or two away, not too far a distance.

the 21st, I find myself walking in the shopping district, which, seeing as

particularly hard tonight. Luckily, it stopped just as me and my friends were

petrichor smell, and my footsteps make little splashes on the scattered

While the above 30 degree Celsius temperature and the humidity of

come across a girl, crouching on the sidewalk and putting pressure on her

wearing is one I’m familiar with. The uniform, made to resemble a nun’s

upright morals, the Reien Girl’s Academy. Gakuto jokes that half the reason

that goes in for that kind of thing; I only know it because my sister Azaka

girl’s presence here at this late hour doubly suspicious. Or maybe she’s just

Seeing as she’s from my sister’s school, I decide to lend a helping hand.

94 • KINOKO NASU

quite silently, as if trying to suppress it. Her face is small, with sharp features.

around her right ear to form a tassel that goes down to her chest. It seems

been cut. That, along with her bangs, cut straight and clean in the school

family with an eye for proper grooming standards.

are tinted purple, the mark of someone with cyanosis. With a hand on her

movements and the folds in the face that mark a person in pain are obvious.

“No, er…that is, I…I mean…” She’s pretending to be calm, but she’s

from a mental break down at any moment, not unlike Shiki when I first met

“You’re a long way away from Reien Academy, lady. Miss the train? I

“No, you don’t need to. I don’t have any money anyway.”

answer. Try to salvage this one, Mikiya. “Yeah…so I guess you must live

some special dispensation to go out.”

Right. Scratch that.

“Yes, I think that’s the only thing I can do right now.”

through. Maybe she couldn’t find an umbrella or a shade the whole time it

with a girl soaking wet in rain, I almost got killed, so I guess that’s why I’m

be a waste of time if I don’t help her now.

“…can I?” she asks, still crouching and looking desperately at me. I nod.

I’m not planning on doing anything questionable that might offend your

/ LINGERING PAIN - I • 95

in her infinite wisdom, has decided to delay my paycheck, I can’t give

She looks happy and smiles. I extend a hand to her to help her up, and

stains on the sidewalk where she was sitting.

both out of this wretched night.

can at least be burdened with one girl on my back.”

hurt anymore,” she says. The hand that she has yet to remove from pressing

“Does your stomach hurt?” I ask again, as much for her own peace of

She shakes her head, saying “no.” After that, we continue to walk, and

she nods.

her face turns into an expression of contentment. She closes her

She hasn’t really told me her name, and I haven’t told her mine, and I

apartment, the girl asks me if she can use the shower, to which I say yes.

of smokes, I vacate myself from the premises for an hour to give her some

After an hour, I come back to find her already exploiting the living room

I decide to make good what little time I have left for sleep. I set my

last look on her uniform, and can’t help noticing it has the littlest of tears,

I wake up the next morning to find her sitting in the living room doing

awake, she gives a quick bow.

“Thank you for what you did last night. I don’t have any way to

door.

have her leave just like that when she waited for me to get up. “I can at

That stops her. Food must really get to her. As I thought, she’s just as

got some pasta and olive oil at the ready, which makes spaghetti the obvious

my dinner table, and we eat it together. Since it seems like she’s not in a

diet of homicide in the city, but this one gave me a strange feeling.

that Miss Tōko would love.” If I had said that in the office, I’d probably

item is bizarre.

in an underground bar that had been abandoned for a half a year. All four

blood. The scene is pretty close by, maybe four stations or so away from

I make a mental note of the fact that the news said that their limbs were

angle, and goes on to describe the details on the victims’ lives: all teenagers,

seems they were slinging drugs too; corner boys. They have a citizen on the

“Those kids knew what they were getting into, and they got it. I think

And with those words, I turn the TV off. I hate it when people say those

people like that the time of day. I turn back to look at my guest only to

touched her food. There really must be something wrong with her stomach.

“Nobody deserves to die,” she says in between ragged breaths, causing

healed over, but why—“

/ LINGERING PAIN - I • 97

her, but with head still cast downwards, she raises a palm towards me, as if

“Wait, calm down. I think I can—”, I start to say, but she cuts me off.

pain and resistance, a face of contradiction—somehow reminds me of

the doorknob.

our sakes.”

because she looked like she was about to cry.

Lingering Pain - II

to push it out of my mind. She was just a normal girl I found in the street

though, that much I can be sure, but the how eludes me at the moment.

nothing I can do about it. More importantly, I’m going to be late for work

instantly.

official capacity anyway. My employer is an eccentric sort of woman, the

and makes it her office; a woman in her late twenties, a collector of old,

Miss Tōko Aozaki.

in all manner of engineering and architectural work as well. These are, of

but she’s managed to keep this little enterprise of hers running before I was

the wisdom of my one and only source of income, especially when

should consider myself lucky to find any kind of work at all.

reach, is a four story structure, with the office at the top. Nestled between

and solitude, like it doesn’t belong. The longer you stare at it, the

last thing on one’s mind. The building lacks modern 21st century luxuries

As I enter the room, one person alone sits atop Miss Tōko’s desk, a girl

blueprints scattered all across the room. The girl in a fish-patterned indigo

eyes, and I address her.

“Um, Kokutō? The owner of the place is right behind me, pal,” she says

/ LINGERING PAIN - II • 99

cigarette positioned in her mouth, and sharp eyes burrowing into me with

black pants, a combination she has upheld so religiously since the day I met

seems obliged to wear at least one orange-colored accessory though, and

“Yeah, I’d say goodbye to your paycheck if I were you,” Shiki adds. I gulp.

you arrived here earlier than I expected. Seriously, Kokutō. I told you there

around noon, and yet here you are.”

practically coaching me the words in my head. It’s gets a bit lonely in there

company. “So, why is Shiki in this miserable dump?”

me with.”

went out last night again, since she’s rubbing one of her eyes. It’s barely

talk to each other, but we’re taking it slow for now. Since she doesn’t seem

With no real work to finish, there’s nothing to do but chat.

“You’re talking about the news on Broad Bridge, right? I keep saying it,

What Miss Tōko is talking about is none other than the big ten kilometer

is about a twenty minute drive away from the city port, a short distance.

the bridge is planned to cross the gap between the extreme upper and

to divert traffic from the coast. The city’s development council made a joint

of the community.” And of course, considering the history of the local

money mysteriously disappearing into people’s pockets. It’s a typical story:

“problem” the citizens have, which doesn’t exist except in their heads, and 

everyone gets money. Worse, it’s going to have its own aquarium, a museum,

if the place is a bridge or some weird amusement park. The locals had been

said, I suppose it’s been officially christened as the Broad Bridge. It goes

“Well, yeah, you say that, but I thought you already had an exhibit space

“That was just a complementary ‘thank you’ from the company. If it

Construction if I, the designer, refused the offer? But it’s a stupid location,

Uh oh. She’s talking about deficit again. This has to be going somewhere

give me the money.

but, you had promised me my salary today and—“

I’m going to have to postpone your pay for a month.” She spits it

place.

How could it all be gone?”

and swiveling it from side to side making squeaking noises and adopting the

people. Shiki and I just affix her with frustrated stares.

outrage.

precise. I don’t know if it works or not, but the hundred year value it has

better. It’ll be a nice addition to my collection.”

lot more convenient if she was just some two-bit illusionist with some hand

why she can talk all about esoteric topics such as “numina” or whatnot

to make up some convenient excuse for my lack of pay.

/ LINGERING PAIN - II • 101

Having been shown by her what miracles mages are capable of doing, I

much. “So that’s it, then? No pay for me this month?”

I stand up, and make my way towards the door. “Then, you’ll excuse me

get by this month?”

Then, she switches to a serious tone, as if to indicate the gravity of what

Thinking it’s the business between her and Shiki, I try to listen as hard as I

“What, Miss Tōko?”

broke.”

close to resignation.”

soon after.

/ 1

at last speaks her mind.

“Ah, right. I didn’t really want to take a job like this, but money comes

about living expenses. Damn Kokutō for not sharing some of that money I

on the ashtray. Mikiya is probably thinking something similar himself,

“Well, about that incident last night—“ Tōko starts saying.

“That so? Crime scene description only, and you can already read this

Tōko has only described the details of the crime scene to Shiki, and yet

proof, if anything, of her natural intuition when it comes to these matters.

world, after all.

her, orders are to try and see if she goes along quietly. But if she shows

those blade skills of yours have rusted some.”

and kill her. “What do we do about the body?”

accident. Don’t worry about the fallout on this one. She’s dead to the

dead people, right?” Tōko gives a little laugh. “So, you in on this? You ask

“I don’t even need to answer that.” Shiki starts to walk towards the exit.

She doesn’t answer.

the particulars on her profile. What the hell are you going to do without

falls harmlessly to the floor.

/ 1 • 103

attract each other. And when me and this girl meet, there’s definitely going

And with a rustle of clothes, Shiki departs from the office, the coldness

door.

Lingering Pain - III

alternative. I decide to contact an old high school friend to see if I can borrow

dropped out of not two months ago and wait for him in the cafeteria. Just

of Gakuto comes into view, easy to pick out among the crowd smaller than

“Well, look who decided to come back! How you hangin’, man? Here to

“Unfortunately, no. School treating you well?”

How about you? If I know you like I know you, you ain’t gonna holler at me

“Great, actually. Got a job.”

“The job,” I reply dryly. “My generous employer has decided that she’ll

wind.”

bemusement. “That ain’t so bad, man. And here I was thinking it was gonna

the way down here for extra dough? You sure you’re not some alien in

“Very funny. When you’ve got your back against a corner like this, you

“But to have money being the first thing out of your mouth; it just ain’t

one?”

stopped going to university. How can I go back to them right now like this?

“You got as thick a head as me sometimes, I give you that. Now, don’t tell

“I’ll thank you to leave that out of the discussion and focus on the real

“Damn, man, you in a fighting mood today. But there ain’t no need to

/ LINGERING PAIN - III • 105

in need of cash, we’d all be pitching in to help. So don’t worry, man. We

though, this ain’t charity,” he adds. “Friends gotta look out for each other,

Seems Gakuto’s got his own favor to ask as well. He looks over the crowd

and whispers.

junior from back in the day, actually. Seems he gone and had his ass caught

Gakuto continues to explain, mentioning the name of the person in

got cut up last night in the bar, but apparently he’s alive. Whereabouts

the police, Keita called up a mutual friend of him and Gakuto. The friend

“He just kept shoutin’ that he was gonna die and someone be hunting

took the call says he was mixing his words and shit, sounding really doped

The fact that even a high school kid like Keita could purchase dope without

corners and alleys of mazelike Tokyo have quickly turned into open-air drug

that so many people turn to for the clarity and solace that they felt

murder and you feel that the killer is coming for you next, when you’re a

last thing on your mind.

you really think I can survive talking to these hoppers on my own?”

to nuthin to go on.”

“Far as I know, no. Only them corner boys killed last night were married

had a change of heart. Come on man, you still can’t search your head for

“I kinda have a vague idea, yeah…” During high school, there were some 

juniors who liked to hang around me for some reason, possibly because

really bad acid trip, then that’d be good…or at least better than what we’re

this month. I’ll check it out and see what I can do. Can you tell me about his

Gakuto reaches into his pocket to retrieve a small notebook, as if he

for hang outs, and phone numbers in that notebook, which means a lot of

“I’ll be in touch if I find out anything. If I manage to find him, I’ll try to

the form of my detective cousin Daisuke. He didn’t have anything to fear

charge if you were witness to a red ball murder, which this one could end

concerned, nabbing the users is small game and a waste of time. Gakuto

Once me and Gakuto go our separate ways, I start to make my way to

cousin Daisuke works cases if I would have any chance of finding Keita.

Friends have to look out for each other, after all.

/ 2

the call, as I am wont to do when I’m tired, and sure enough, after five rings

yet still feels alien enough so soon after recovering from the coma.

ask if it isn’t too much trouble. Azaka and I promised to meet at a café near

and it looks like I won’t be able to go. You’re free today, right? If you can,

I roll my body sluggishly over to the bedside and take a look at my clock,

came home from my nightly outing. Christ, do I need sleep. I pull the sheets

been able to deal well with the heat and cold ever since my childhood days,

Just as sleep was about to take me again, the phone rang a second time.

voice I knew, but definitely one you didn’t want to hear at just half past

“It’s me. Watched the news this morning? Probably haven’t. That’s all

What the hell? It’s always been at the back of my mind, but now I can

head; it is an incomprehension that sometimes continues on to her speech

of cranial spelunking before you can start to understand what she’s

talking to her.

brain can process. Three interesting deaths last night. Another jumper that

shit, different day, right? But here’s something that’ll help you out:” she

Tōko hangs up abruptly, leaving me to wonder what she thought I would

of noble intention, and a renewed commitment to this job? How could I,

108 • KINOKO NASU

coherent and real? Harsh as it may be to admit, but the deaths of these

down on me.

fatigue finally gives ground. I cook breakfast in the manner that I remember,

should be cooler if I’m going to walk around town all day. It’s then that I get

watching me do all of this from afar. Even my wardrobe choice is one from

two years of emptiness created a rift, a boundary line between the past

memory. It felt as if the weight of that memory, those sixteen years

it’s probably just an after effect of the coma, some brain damage from the

this fabricated dollhouse of a lie, in the end, it’s still me pulling those

By the time I finish dressing up it’s almost eleven o’ clock. I press the

“Morning, Shiki…,” repeats the voice I have heard many times in the

Mikiya Kokutō. The last person I saw before the accident two years ago.

with him, but all of it missing details, as if I was looking at a tampered

memory is a gaping hole, completely gone: my last memory of him and

thing I saw?

know something important about him but it’s missing in my head, and

them. If only these memories lost to oblivion were stored in an answering

“…tell her I’m not coming.” The answering machine stops and falls silent.

softens the annoying itch in my mind. Problem is, that’s the itch that makes

/ 2 • 109

unusual German name on a sign hanging above the entrance, which I

inside, I immediately notice the dearth of customers, despite it being noon,

boring activity. The café has little lighting. Its sole sources of bright light

side of the shop, admitting the sunlight and silhouetting the tables and

the shop aren’t so lucky. It paints a nostalgic picture, as if some European

I spot a pair of gaudily uniformed girls in a table way in the back, and a

girl. Strange—Mikiya never mentioned another girl. Oh well, no biggie.

Azaka herself is quite a character on her own. She goes to a fancy girl’s

ladylike. But you take one look at the way she carries herself and you realize

her, as well as a boldness that is sorely lacking in many people these days.

and charm, Azaka is a figure who commands respect with a single, solid

face at my voice calling out her name.

The lingering animosity towards me that she tries so hard to keep in is so

engagement with my brother. I have no business with you.”

egging her on. “He said he can’t come. You know, this might just be me, but

A single restrained gasp. I don’t know if she’s shocked that Mikiya just

came down here to tell her.

in barely suppressed anger. I guess it’s the latter, then.

really, asking me to come all the way here just to send you away?”

110 • KINOKO NASU

Azaka looks like she’s about to abandon her carefully cultivated demeanor

point blank range.

Azaka looks around the café for half a beat, and then embarrassed, she

day, didn’t I?” she says apologetically. I haven’t really looked at this Fujino

of the uniform and their school’s grooming standards, their demeanor

prim and proper façade, her companion Fujino looks, at a glance, more

“Are…you okay? You look kind of—“, I involuntarily say. She answers only

looking at something beyond me, like I was just an insect on the ground

My reasoning tells me that there’s no way a girl like her could do anything

recedes. “Never mind, pretend I didn’t say anything,” I conclude.

and a girl like this Fujino could be someone like that. Reason says her hands

attention away from her an

Chapter end