That was the day when, led on by nothing except an impulse of curiosity,
didn’t plan on passing by any particular place there. It was just something
This part of the avenue was full of skyscrapers and tall condos, some old,
into one crowded skyline. I’d wager everybody in the city, including me,
buildings, I suddenly saw something fall from a roof to the concrete sidewalk
It was a person.
raw sound you associate with the kind of things you don’t want happening
Judging from the height that the person fell from, it was clear that whoever
As I drew closer to the point of impact, I was able to scrutinize what happened
scarlet trail seeping slowly across the asphalt; the frail, bone-like limbs, and
And that dead face.
the pages of an old, musty tome.
lily to me.
/ 1
by to visit without any prior notice, as per his MO. Popping open the door,
servant-in-waiting.
face. A strange greeting is just the kind of thing I expected him to do.
actually. This time I was actually at the scene. There’ve been a lot of these
He hands me a plastic convenience store bag. “Here, in the fridge.” He
me. Mikiya is nothing if not a multi-tasker. Inside the bag were two cups of
my fridge before they melt. While checking out the contents of the bag,
My home is just a small apartment in a low-rise. The first thing you see
where you take off your shoes. After going through that mess, you arrive at
making himself comfortable. I follow him in, glaring at his back while doing
“Shiki, you’ve been skipping class again, haven’t you? Your grades don’t
tell me you already forgot our promise to go to college together.”
caustic, “especially coming from someone who dropped college way before
“Don’t start being difficult again, Shiki.”
a conversation; a helpful tidbit that has only recently come back to me. I
leaning on the bed, his back facing me.
high school. At least that’s what my head tells me. My recollections have
We live in an age where fashion trends and the accompanying models
/ 1 • 5
to budge from his student-like appearance. He doesn’t dye his hair or have
he doesn’t carry a cellphone, and he doesn’t even allow himself the
as the kind of person you’d probably see more ordinarily at lazy English
rimmed glasses certainly complete the image. Not exactly someone you
due to his own fault: if he actually took the time to dress nicely instead of
“Shiki, are you listening? I met your mom today, too. She said you
months ago. You should at least show your face at the Ryōgi estate, don’t
“Mmm?” I reply, as listlessly as Kokutō said I was. “I don’t really have any
“Oh, come on, isn’t it about time you patched things up with your folks?
“There’s no use in making a pointless house call or a pointless conversation
to me. Not so soon after getting out of the hospital. I mean, talking to you
the subject grew thinner every second. I wish he would just stop pushing it.
isn’t right for you and your parents to be living so close to each other and
The sudden criticism makes me frown. What exactly is wrong with it?
I lost some of my memories in a traffic accident. We’re recognized as a
to talk about here.
life issues, even though to me it seems like a wasteful exercise.
Panorama - I
school famous for putting a lot of its students on the fast track to a
people who had passed the entrance exam, I saw a name that caught my
classmates ensured that it would get stuck in my head. Ever since then, I’ve
Due to our school having no uniforms, and a casual clothing policy, a lot
that sort of environment, Shiki stood out from the crowd.
At first, that particular wardrobe choice made it seem as if the prime
But once it became clear that Shiki wasn’t sparing any words for anyone
to stop caring. Not that Shiki minded.
the distance more than the clothes already did, but Shiki’s features
Black hair framed Shiki’s face, as it does now; cut long enough to hide
like it was time wasted, evidenced by how it looked like it was cut with
second guess Shiki’s gender on first contact. More than anything though,
piercing gaze, seeming to bear witness to something invisible, something
But then, the accident happened…
/ 2
“Wha—oh, sorry, I wasn’t listening.” Mikiya cocks his head towards me
“I said ‘the jumpers.’ As in the people who took a header on the sidewalk
He shuts up for a moment and actually tries to think on the casual question
stumped detectives the world over.
As for how society will look at it, they do classify ‘falling from a high place’
“Not a murder, not exactly a suicide, and not exactly an accident either.
would just inconvenience a lot more people than they thought it
died a bit better.” As soon as I say that, I see Mikiya shake his head in disapproval.
résumé of insensitivity.” He replies in monotone disappointment,
“Ah, Kokutō. Ever the killjoy.” Despite my objection, he doesn’t even
“Hah, that’s rare. It’s been a while since you called me by that name.”
He nods like a squirrel. I tend to pronounce his surname a bit differently
originates way back in high school. I don’t really like the ring of the nickname
just blurt it out, like an involunatry emission of boredom or frustration. In
something.
that my sister Azaka said she saw it too.”
“The girl you said you saw floating around the Fujō Tower.”
commercial office district of town that used to serve as residence to the
more privileged tax brackets, now abandoned and leaving people with
is true. Passing by it some days ago, I happened to see a spectral figure in
My second sight, the ability to see these types of events, has its roots
in one event, a point in time that feels simutaneously distant and recent.
last two years in a coma. After waking from that coma, I began to…see
so much “sight” as it is “perception.” In other words, it seems my senses
gobbledygook that I couldn’t care less to understand.
wouldn’t know if it’s still there,” I say, as I stretch out my arms.
time and I don’t see anything.”
back at him.
like this. He’s on a no-nonsense path and he’s going to stick to it come
these…”other” things. Nevertheless, these trifling incidents of people flying
behind it all, so I ask Mikiya a question.
He gives a shrug. “Wouldn’t know. I mean, I’ve never tried flying before
/ 3 • 9
It is a night approaching the end of August, and I decide to take a stroll.
which makes the chill running through the air tonight a rare and unusual
the city. This dead part of town is largely bereft of people, and looked like
like they were from some old daguerreotype. The whole thing reminds me
across the city, as unstoppable and incurable as a terminal disease.
to the dimly lit convenience store that offers little respite from the darkness—everything
fall down in violent upheaval.
richness of death in all things. This place is no exception, and my eyes hurt
I took a black leather jacket with me when I left the house, and now I
inside the jacket, and the heat warms my body. Even then, it still isn’t hot.
Even in such a deep night like this one, you can still encounter a few
A man with the complete suit-tie-briefcase ensemble hurriedly making
shadows. A loiterer sitting by the light of the vending machine, his head
around the vicinity of the 24-hour convenience store, maybe pondering
Who knows what reason these people may find themselves out here in
own reasons. I’m just doing what I used to do before.
In a different time, I was on the cusp of going into my second year of
10 • KINOKO NASU
didn’t receive much in the way of bodily harm; few wounds, nothing serious,
pretty damn clean one, I’d say. On the other hand, peculiarly, I did receive
That’s what they told me at least. That night is the only time I have trouble
Because I had little serious physical injury, it wasn’t a big stretch for the
that last sliver of life. Statistically speaking, after 6 months, the chances of a
like myself. The doctors were so surprised at my recovery two months ago;
me to pull a Lazarus on them, which I guess clues me in to their close to
reactions, I too had a surprise waiting for me.
head of a different person. Put simply, I’m dissociated from the memories,
a lapse in memory.
uses with regards to handling memory: encoding, storage, retrieval, and
“Encoding” is writing your impressions of an experience as information
“Storage” is actually keeping that impression or memory.
remembering.
same as what actually happened.
memory disorder. Depending on which of these steps fail, you get very
with any of these steps. Though I can’t place my memories as my own,
experiences.
I am the Shiki Ryōgi that was. Perhaps it was some other Shiki Ryōgi, some
I’ve seen the documents; I am Shiki Ryōgi. At least that’s what my brain
tells me
something that sits closely beside it. It laid waste all that I was inside, and
through two years of “living” like a shell, on the boundary of emptiness.
rejection, it drives me to worry all the same. All my memories are just
the real thing. With these memories, I know how to act like the Shiki Ryōgi
mimesis. It’s like being a newborn baby: not knowing anything and lacking
Still, the memories do help. I mean, they make me into a functional
something. It’s not real, hands-on experience or anything, but at
like it’s my first time doing it and also feel like I’ve done it a hundred times
strings in the sleeve.
Because by doing so, maybe I can return to some semblance of the past.
night.
I try to get my bearings in the neighborhood, and I realize I’ve walked
stood at heights almost similar to each other lined the street, looking like
are riddled with little glass windows, themselves in their own arrangement.
atop their shining surfaces creates a sort of shadow world, where monsters
One shadow stands taller than the rest, however. Like a perverse monument,
reach the moon.
No lights or signs of life are present in that building. Seeing as how it’s
12 • KINOKO NASU
creaks from the cold, despite the lack of any tangible feeling of a breeze. I
a black shape flits past my sight, almost unnoticeable because of the
then I realize it’s not a shadow at all. The silhouette of a woman comes
though. She literally is floating.
I don’t like her up there, silhouetted against the moonlight. But I can
vanishes, flying as if the moon was her cradle.
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