INSPIRATIONAL MUSINGS 29 You Can't Win All the Time, Know When to Accept Defeat and Move On

— Lionel Messi

One of the most painful NOs a man can ever get is the one from ladies, sometimes it stays implanted into one's memory for several years to come. I remember how painful it was back in the days, I don't how it works anymore these days since a lot of things have changed, a few of your friends or family members would know of your intention, so when you go to give the speech, they will be waiting for the outcome even more than you, now to go tell these people you got a NO used to be a very uphill task.
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In fact, most boys refused to take no for an answer because of these "supporters," no wonder most relationships at that early stage never worked because the persistence from the guys most of the time wasn't borne out of conviction or genuineness, it was as a result of a desire to conquer rather than to care or love, but that's not the topic for today, because if I decide to delve into that we will lose track of today's topic completely.

In life it is so sweet to win, I love to win. I know you also love to win. We all acquired the cravings to always come out victorious from ordeals. It starts mostly from school because parents try as much as possible to not promote or allow competition amongst their kids, at least these days unlike before, so the kids learn the desire to compete from school through exams and results, price giving days, spelling competition, inter house sports, debate etc. I have no problem with these things because every system must produce leaders and brilliant minds and things like these remain the best way to choose the best of the pack.

In the process of getting used to this harsh reality of life, some kids get ahead of others naturally, at least at the early stage of life, some later pick up in the teen years, early twenties, late twenties, early thirties, mid-thirties and so on and so forth. For the early winners, they just seem to know how to keep winning, in the process they get used to winning. Why they get used to winning is the reward system in place at that early stage to encourage the usual winners to continue winning and also to stir up the desire to win in the others who don't usually win, hoping that the reward system can motivate them.

For this reason, any child that is used to winning at an early stage usually has a competitive spirit because of the desire for the award on display, I won a couple of prizes back in the days so I know how it feels. Recently, there was a spelling competition in my kids' school, they had practiced for it non-stop for days, they looked forward to it with so much enthusiasm, I won't forget what it took us parents to pacify the kids that lost out, it was so diffi to make them accept the fact that there was no way they were all going to win. Three kids got the gold, silver and bronze out of 40 of them I guess, and the remaining 37 wept and sulked for awhile.

Know that for the kids it will always be a good idea to let them know that they need to continue to make efforts to win because they need such words of encouragement to remain competitive in life, they will really need those kind of words for years to come, they must continue to feel failure isn't an option and that they have to win all the time to be a "good" child, what this does is to make them always aspire to be the best and for whatever reason they can't be the best they will at least be one of the good ones. This is how they make winning fair and square a habit. This will prepare them for the latter part of life, most importantly the aspect of winning the right way.

It is time to tell ourselves the truth, ourselves being the adults now, we can tell the kids it is good to win all the time to develop their competitive strength, butwecan'tdeceiveourselvesthatone can win all the time. It is the sad truth we have to live with. Winning is beautiful, I wish to reiterate but we also mustn't be obsessed with winning because we can't win all the time, that's just the way life is designed. It is the refusal to accept this truth that has pushed many into all sorts of evil and criminality to stay ahead of competition all the time.

Lionel Messi for me is the greatest footballer ever, as controversial as this statement might be to some, I know I have over 50 percent of football enthusiasts in the world who share similar opinion with me, he came up with the saying that has since become a part of us all. Many philosophers, motivational speakers, writers, literary giants shied away from this piece of truth, they filled our space with nuggets on winning, they had different types like "winning is a habit", "don't stop till you win", "to be the best is truly the best", "quitters don't win, winners don't quit", "don't play at all if you don't want to win". As encouraging as these words are, in fact I dare say many people have prepared for competitions, examinations, interviews, presentations etc. with these words and they came out as winners at the end of the day,but let's still not forget that you can't always win in life.

It takes an individual that has more winning medals than others, an individual with more scars of victory to come to the ordinarily painful but worthy understanding that you can't win all the time.

My Ultimate Advice

I believe one should always fight like a pitbull to get what one wants in life. It is the only way to avoid incessant losses and constant regrets. Fight for what you believe so much that you earn a never give up reputation that will scare your opponents or enemies. Every opponent of Mike Tyson in his days took time to think properly before getting into the boxing ring with him. Usain Bolt had his opponents jostling for the second position before the start of the race. I am sure most times they had ceded the number one spot to him before the sound of the gun. That's the kind of reputation you should have but albe it earned justly.

Despite this targeted reputation, in order to live long, always remember losses aren't meant for the dead, they are for the living most of the time, do not sell your soul or develop health issues because you want to win all the time, you shouldn't love winning somuchthatitwill require regional forces to remove you from the presidential villa that taxpayers in your country paid for. It will be sadasarespectedleaderthatithadtotakeacourtrulingtoremove you from a position that is term based after you must have completed your tenure. It's always good to lose with dignity and honour. It's always good to leave when the ovation is loudest so you don't get thrown out after you must have contributed so much good to the system.

There's an attitude that always help to make this an easy task once you are convinced that the greatest honour in life is TRUE SERVICE then you won't be so eager to win all the time, no matter the temptations or lure. At the end of the day your medals or plaques will either gather dust or be auctioned by the people who didn't sweat to get there.

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