Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi Chapter 301

Published at 6th of January 2022 12:31:22 PM

We plan to leave Doran tomorrow, therefore today was spent preparing for the trip.

The preparation was mainly food preparation: Deep-fried food such as fried pork cutlets, fried minced pork, Salisbury steaks, miso-pickled meat and minced meat soboro are a must, of course. Aside from these side dishes, I’ve also prepared pork soup, seafood soup and lots and lots of rice for the various rice bowl dishes.

“Phew, this should be enough. I somehow ended up with a whole bunch of different things.”

Ever since ‘Cook’ appeared under my Occupation status, I found that cooking [6] has become something like an instinctive action and almost always ended up cooking more than I meant to…

This isn’t really a problem since I have these gluttons to feed anyway. [5]

Still, it’s a testimony of my skills when I ended up with more leftovers than before.

[6] Not cooked leftovers but…

[8] I scratched my head as I studied the large bowl of minced Orc and Minotaur meat. [5] [6] I had already made Salisbury steaks and minced cutlets but there’s still so much left… [5]

This was partly due to Sui’s special Mithril Mincer which minces up meat with minimal effort.

I guess I could just put it away in the [Item Box] for another day but I feel like I should make something with this pile of meat…

Let’s see, mincemeat~ mincemeat…

Alright, let’s go with that!

‘That’ being meat pies.

I’d made these before when faced with the same problem. Sometimes, when mincemeat goes on sale, like a hypnotised consumer, I’d end up buying too much. Still, the pies were unexpectedly easy to make and very delicious. Thank you internet.

“Alright, let’s add meat pies to our travel menu!”

[9] With [Net Super] on my side, I can just buy stuff like frozen pie sheets which really cuts down the work on making pies.

I already have meat and eggs as well as the necessary seasonings but I bought some more onions and carrots to be added to the pie.

First, the onions and carrots were diced into small cubes. On a hot frying pan, I drizzled a bit of oil and stirred the onions and carrots until just tender before putting the minced meat in. Once the meat has browned and crumbled to pieces, I added ketchup, Worcestershire sauce, crumbled a consommé cube over the dish and adjusted the flavour with salt and pepper. You can add grated nutmeg too if you like. [6] I forgot to buy it so let’s do without for now.

[9] Finally, sprinkle some flour over the minced meat to further thicken the sauce and remove the pan from the fire. While the meat is cooling, I cut the defrosted pie sheets into four equal parts. [6] This will make 2 square pies.

[9] I placed the minced meat in the middle of two pie sheets before covering it with a second layer and crimped it down with a fork. The design is rather crude but it works. Finally, a layer of egg wash to make it look glossy before it goes into the oven.

[9] The pies were relatively small and the insides were already done so it baked very quickly. For this pie, I used onions and carrots according to the original recipe. More often than not, I’d use frozen mixed vegetables since I’m lazy…

Also, curry powder is a good addition to give regular pies an extra twist. In fact, I should make some one day…

[9] As for the shape, I chose to make rectangular hand pies without bothering with moulds or anything since it’s much easier. Smaller pies cook faster too and frozen pie sheets are really fun and easy to work with. I’ve made round, triangular and even gyoza shaped pies but it all depends on a person’s taste. The key is to make relatively small and flattish pies that fit into the palm of my hand. Hence, ‘hand pie’…

I should try making other shapes next time…

[6] Oh, there goes the timer, my pies are done baking.

“Hmm, the pie shells look well cooked, the egg wash gave it a really nice colour. Of course, I’ll have to taste it to check if it’s really done…”

The fragrance of freshly baked pastry seduced me into taking a bite.

Crunch.

“Tasty~”

The crisp and savoury texture of the pie is just irresistible [2] and matches nicely with the well-seasoned minced meat, especially since I’ve packed in plenty of meat.

“Oi, you’re eating something delicious, aren’t you. Give me.”

““Me too!””

““Sui wants some too~~””

[4] “…I was just taste testing…”

Fer and Co had been attracted by the delicious smell of baked pastries. [8] Since two pieces of pies weren’t enough for everybody, I got to work prepping more pies and ended up giving them platefuls of meat pies as a snack.

“Oh, that’s right. I can make pound cakes with the dried fruit Tirzsan [5] gave me.”

I plan to inform Elland-san and Ugor-san that I’ll be leaving Doran tomorrow. [8] It would be nice to give them some cakes made with Tirzsan’s dried fruits [5].

Once my cakes were baked I wrapped up some meat pies [1] and put them in a basket before heading towards the Adventurer’s Guild.

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The moment I arrived at the Adventurer’s Guild the staff member immediately guided me to the second floor [1] where I found both Elland-san and Ugor-san still stuck under a pile of documents.

[8] “Oh, it’s Mukoudsan! Ugor-kun, look, it’s Mukoudsan! A break! A break! It’s time for a break!” [5]

“[5] Idiot Master, just keep working. I shall speak to Mukoudsan.”

“Wh-whyyy…..” Elland-san’s excited voice trailed off in a whine. [5]

My condolences to Elland-san but I suspect you’re the reason why you’re both stuck under a mountain of documents…

“Apologies for keeping you waiting, Mukoudsan. What business might you have with us?” [3] Ugor-san said, ignoring Elland-san with practised ease.

“Oh, I’m just here to drop off a small report… and to thank you for your gifts and your care,” I said.

“No, no, my family is very happy with Mukoudsan’s gift. We are very grateful for the delicious food.”

“Ah, anyway, since I’ve received something, I thought I’d reciprocate a little, here you go,” I handed the basket of pound cake baked with Tirzsan’s dried fruits and the meat pies.

“Why only Ugor-kun?! Unfair!”

“…and this is Elland-san’s portion,” I said, handing another basket over with a slightly forced smile.

“Ohh Mukoudsan, I always believed you! Thank you so much!” [3] Elland-san declared as he shamelessly poked through the basket.

Ugor-san merely sighed.

“Anyway, the reason I’m here today is to let both of you know that I will be leaving Doran tomorrow,”

“Oh? Is that s-”

Crash! Bang!

“Eehhhhh! M-Mukoudsan, you’re leaving Doran?!” Elland-san had stood up so violently that the chair behind him tipped over and crashed to the floor.

“Idiot Master, you’re too loud. Calm down.”

“How can I? Mukoudsan is leaving Doran!?”

“What are you talking about? Mukoudsan is an Adventurer, so it makes sense for him to leave Doran.”

Ugor-san, thank you for being the voice of reason.

“W-well, that’s true but I thought surely it would be fine to stay a little longer… oh, right! Why don’t you base yourself in this city? Doran has a great dungeon and this is a great city! Don’t you think so?”

“Well…” as Elland-san said, Doran is a great city, “but I don’t plan on settling down for the moment.”

I want to travel a bit more first.

“Ehhh, don’t say that. D-Dorchan will be far away…” Elland-san wailed heartbrokenly.

Ah, so his real intention came out.

“Ahem, you’ve been a great help to me, please accept my thanks,” I said to Ugor-san with a professional smile.

“Mukoudsan, do come back to Doran again,” said Ugor-san.

“I will,” I said. However, I have no idea when I’ll be back in this city. Thanks to a certain pain in the butt Elf and Dorchan’s disgust against said Elf, it probably won’t be soon. [5] [6] “I’ll be back someday,” was the best promise I could make.

[6] Ugor-san nodded understandingly and I left.

Just as my foot stepped over the threshold of the Adventurer’s Guild, a loud wail of ‘Dorchaaaannnn!!!’ startled my party so badly that we quickly ran away from the Guild.

““This place has a good dungeon, but I’m fine not visiting here for a while,”” muttered Dorchan as he shivered.

Sometimes, when love is too intense, it creates trauma instead of joy.

Speaking of which, Sui has been peacefully resting inside the leather bag all this time.

“Where do we go next?” asked Fer.

I’ve already made up my mind about this, “Calerina, the first proper city I stayed in.”

“Oh, that one?”

“It’s a little early, but I want to pick up my Wyvern cloak. There’s one other thing I want to do too. Early tomorrow morning, we’ll return the key to the house. After a final stop at the Guild, we’ll leave right away.”

“Umu,”

““Ou, let’s hurry up and get out of this place!””

Early next day, we left Doran and made our way towards Carelina.

[Gumihou: Haha, Elland-san is way too intense here.]

[1] Structural Change: Combine 2 paragraphs

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[5] Delete Repetitive or Pointless Information

[6] Additional Information for Aesthetic Purpose

[7] Add Dialogue Tag

[8] Creative Licence Taken

[9] Some major changes to the sentence structure and order of information to make the whole thing more coherent and interesting. Also, some of the original pie making instructions were… iffy.

The Palace of the Goddess of Water, Rusalka.

The atmosphere here was… normal.

“… let’s have some ice-cream,” [3] Rusalka took out a little cup of her favourite vanilla ice-cream from a special time stop [Item Box] granted to divine beings.

She had been looking forward to a special after-dinner treat.

“Fufu…”

Goddess Rusalka scooped up the snow white ice-cream with the little wooden spoon that came with the cup and let the creamy concoction melt on her tongue. She closed her eyes to better savour the rich milky sensation, and experience the light sweet vanilla fragrance.

“Tasty,”

Rusalka scooped up another bit of ice-cream into her mouth.

[6] In the end, however, no matter how slowly one eats a delicious thing…

“That was delicious.”

[6] … it will eventually disappear.

Goddess of Water Rusalka studied the very clean and empty cup with some regret.

“Mu, I want some more…”

[8] Goddess Rusalka reached into her [Item Box] and took out one of the individually packed Baumkuchen cakes. She tore off the clear seal and nibbled on her soft and sweet dessert.

[7] When that one disappeared too, she sighed, “That was delicious. Let’s enjoy a little bit tomorrow too,” and smiled.

It was the smile of someone secured with the knowledge that their [Item Box] was filled with sweets and desserts they have stashed away for a rainy day. This one-month punishment is nothing to her.

“It’s good to not eat everything in one go,”

[8] Unlike a certain Wind Goddess, Rusalka did not immediately eat all the sweets and desserts the moment she got them. She enjoyed savouring her sweet treats little by little and thanks to this habit, she has enough treats to last the month.

“I must keep this a secret at all cost, especially from that Ninril.” [5]

Ninril must never know about her secret stash. [5]

Water Goddess Rusalka spent the rest of her day happily, thinking about which treat she should nibble on tomorrow.

“For a sweet tooth, she’s very different from Ninril. Rusalka is the youngest and yet she’s the most responsible and farsighted. Unfortunately, she’s not really feeling the sting of punishment…”

Demiurgos wondered if he should do something about this.

“Then again, the reason why she’s not suffering is due to her good foresight, I should not punish her for having good values and habits.”

That Rusalka is surprisingly well prepared.

“Next, let’s have a look at Hephaestus.”

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The Palace of the God of Smith, Hephaestus.

The Palace of the God of Smith was usually loud with the echo of the [6] God of Smith’s voice or the hammer and anvil. Today, it was unusually quiet.

Clang.

[6] Ah, that was not the sound of the hammer against anvil, instead, it was the sound of a cup being slammed despondently onto the table. [5]

“Urgh… haahh…” the God of Smith, Hephaestus sighed deeply. [5] “Now that I’ve gotten used to whiskey, ale can’t satisfy me anymore.”

[8] This great lover of alcoholic drinks could not live without liquor. Now that he could no longer get his hands on whiskey, he could only turn to warm ale instead. [5]

“House arrest for a whole month, eh? …it’s not like I was asking Other Worlder-kun for absurd things,” [3] Hephaestus muttered to himself.

[8] But… was this true?

[8] When he first knew about other world liquor, he became very excited. Moreover, because of his desire to try many and different kinds of liquor, whiskey in particular, he had created a lot of problems for Mukouda.

[6] Pressuring him to level up for the sake of a tenant shop.

[6] Forcing him to show them all the types of liquor available in said tenant shop when he was already tired.

[6] Refusing to let him sleep and make him read out the list of whiskeys.

[6] Bothering him when he’s hungover and forcing him to give them a ‘bonus’ when he’s at his most pained.

[6] In short, though he and Vahagn had given Mukouda more skills and even a Holy Item, they also caused the most trouble.

“I guess it would be a while before I could taste whiskey, eh? This is tough…” the whiskey addict god has been seduced by the liquor’s unique notes of fragrance and taste.

“I wish I saved some but I guess that’s impossible…”

In addition to just drinking, what Hephaestus enjoyed most was talking to Vahagn about all the different types of whiskeys they have tasted and comparing their qualities. The talk would go on for hours… [5]

Also… “[5] I wonder what that 12-year-old whiskey [5] taste like…”

[5] That was the most expensive whiskey they have gotten their hands on. Considering how the flavours of whiskey improved with the price tags, this confiscated whiskey must be incomparably delicious.

Gulp.

[5] “Haa, I really want to taste that whiskey…”

In fact, any whiskey would be fine at all, but unfortunately, there were none left.

“This ale… I guess I’ll switch to mead for now,”

He poured himself some mead and-

“… too sweet…”

[5] “I want whiskey…”

“Hephaestus, you and Vahagn are amazingly addicted to whiskey. Looks like you two can’t stand living without liquor from the other world,” [6] God of Creation, Demiurgos studied his saké cup seriously.

“I know that liquor from that world is delicious. I, too, enjoy it as well.”

However…

“Your demand for other world liquor has put too much pressure on Mukouda’s precious time and mental welfare. I hope you use this time to learn to live without whiskey and repent.”

“For now, let’s have a look at Vahagn, the other whiskey loving god.”

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The Palace of God of War, Vahagn.

[8] “Too sweet!”

A moody voice echoed through the normally quiet corridors of the palace.

[8] Like Hephaestus, Vahagn had switched from ale to mead but could not get used to the taste anymore.

“As expected, there’s nothing better than whiskey…”

[9] The general complaint given was pretty much identical to Hephaestus.

[9] “An entire month… there’s no way…”

[9] “Too long…”

[9] “It’s not like we went overboard…”

[9] “We even grant him some rare skills…”

[9] “I want to drink with the God of Smith again…”

[9] “That 12-year-old whiskey…”

“Ahhhhh, I want whiskey!!!!” [5]

The cry came from the bottom of Vahagn’s heart.

“Vahagn, your sin is pretty much identical to Hephaestus’, you should take this month to calm down and reflect on your behaviour.” [5]

Demiurgos downed the last bit of saké in his saucer and sighed.

“Well, it looks like everyone is getting through the first week somehow. Though none of them looks like they are willing to give up Other World goods… hmm, I shall have to speak with Mukouda about that.

He seems like a decent guy. I’m sure he wouldn’t cut off his connection with the Gods and Goddesses but I can’t allow the pantheon to harass him every week for offerings. Anyway, let’s discuss this with Mukouda once the one month house arrest is over.”

[Gumihou: Vahagn and Hephaestus might as well share one set of brains. Gumi had déjà vu when translating this…]

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Visit readel.me for extra chapters.

[4] Structural Change: Change passive sentence to dialogue 

[5] Delete Repetitive or Pointless Information

[6] Additional Information for Aesthetic Purpose

[7] Add Dialogue Tag

[8] Creative Licence Taken

[9] Identical complaint: Seriously, nearly word for word same, so Gumi will just summarize it for her dear readers. Scrapped upwards of 300 words.

“Oi, are you ready?”

“Hold on a minute,” [3] Kanon and Rio were staring at the house we had stayed in for the past few months.

“We’ve lived here for three months, the three of us,” [7] murmured Rio.

“Yeah, it feels a bit sad to leave, doesn’t it?” [7] said Kanon with feeling.

After coming to this country, we finally managed to live a calm and stable life the moment we got this rented house. [1] It’s not like I don’t know how they feel but the three of us will still be together even when we leave this place, so I’m not sure why they’re suddenly so reluctant.

In fact, that’s exactly why we’re leaving. [6] To stay together forever.

“Should we cancel our trip to the Royal Capital?” [7] I teased.

[8] Immediately, Kanon and Rio whipped their heads around to glare at me.

“What are you talking about?!” Kanon scolded. “Of course, we’re not cancelling anything!”

“That’s right,” Rio chimed in. “We’re going there for our precious marriage!”

“Haha, just kidding, just kidding. I’m really looking forward to it too. For the day Kanon and Rio become my lovely brides.”

Kanon and Rio blushed red.

“That idiot Kaito…” Kanon sniffed.

“Kaito-kun, how could you say such embarrassing things…” Rio murmured.

“What are you talking about? It’s all true so why shouldn’t I say it?”

For some reason, they both blushed even harder.

“Enough alreadyyyy!!” Kanon said fiercely.

“Kanon-chan, there’s no point complaining. Kaito-kun won’t be able to understand it…”

“You’re right, I don’t understand it,” I said with a laugh [6] as I patted them on the shoulder. The girls spun around and grasped an arm each, Kanon on my right and Rio on my left.

Both girls smiled up at me.

Seeing the smiles on my two most precious people made me happy.

To protect the smiles of Kanon and Rio who will be my wives, we set out together for the Royal Capital. I must become stronger to protect them.

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The story behind our decision to get married was nothing special, really.

Basically, when men and women live under one roof, they would soon become aware of each other. Especially since we have been through so much together as a group and [6] had no other people to talk to or share experiences with.

That said, I had been a little worried at first, though.

Because as a single man living with two women… [9] I- I know it’s a bit scummy of me to have thoughts for two girls at once.

[9] I enjoyed living with Rio and Kanon and found myself liking both of them. However, my feelings… what should I do?! How can I like both at once?! [5] [9] This kind of insincerity made me hesitate to confess to either one. After all, the last thing I want was to hurt either of the girls and choosing one would make the other sad.

[9] Also, I don’t think it’s fair to either Kanon or Rio to deal with an indecisive person like me. Thus, in the end, I said nothing.

[9] I had been cracking my head over this when one night, after dinner, the girls sat me down and faced me together with serious faces.

“Kaito,” [9] Kanon puffed up her cheeks and glared at me. “It looks like you’re trying to choose between Rio and me. But you know what? You don’t have to choose.”

“That’s right, there’s no need to choose between us,” [7] said Rio resolutely.

“…haaah?”

[9] Wait, what?

[9] What are you two saying?

“Looks like he doesn’t understand us at all, Rio,”

“You’re right, Kanon-chan,” [5] [9] The two girls stared at me with extra intensity.

“Kaito, this is a different world and Japanese common sense doesn’t apply,” Kanon said slowly.

“As Kanon-chan said,” Rio said. “This isn’t Japan.”

[9] “Eh?” that was when they revealed something shocking to me.

[4] “Kaito, do you know that this world allows polygamy?” said Kanon.

[4] “Of course, so long as you have the financial power,” said Rio.

[4] “That’s right, nobles usually have four or five wives, some have up to ten!”

[9] “Eh, how did you know this?”

“It’s something anyone can find out with a bit of research,”

“Kaito-kun, there’s no need for you to worry over everything on your own.”

I had been operating under modern Japanese common sense, thinking that my feelings towards the girls were insincere and that loving more than one person meant betraying the other.

“So, you know, you don’t have to choose just one,” [7] Kanon looked especially fierce. “Of course, if the other person isn’t Rio, I refuse to be in this relationship. [6] So it has to be Rio!”

“Kanon,” I said, feeling very touched. I turned to the serious Rio and could only say, “Rio…”

I felt like a spineless, indecisive bastard compared to the two of them. [9] Suddenly, I stood up and bowed to the girls.

“Kanon! Rio! Will you both become my girlfriends?”

“Of course!”

“Yes.”

That was how we started our romantic journey together.

[9] Anyway, having been inspired by the girls, I decided to research a bit more about relationships in this world.

That was how I found out that we are at the right age for marriage.

It turned out that people regularly get married at 14 or 15, which is kind of surprising. [1] Oh, and once a person has gone past 20 years old, they are considered stuck on the shelf, especially women.

A lot of thoughts went through my mind after finding this out.

Anyway, the deciding factor for my decision was that Kanon and Rio are very popular amongst other Adventurers. [1] When we’re at the Adventurer’s Guild looking to get a mission or just reporting a completion, men would come and hit on them.

After all, Rio and Kanon with their black hair and dark eyes looked unique and beautiful amongst the locals here. [6] Even though I’ve claimed both as my official girlfriends, it was not a title that was respected by other Adventurers.

The only thing that would deter them would be marriage. For a bunch of rough people who has little care for propriety, they are surprisingly respectful towards married women.

That was when I decided to propose to both of them.

[9] Once my mind was made up, I decided to use my savings to buy engagement rings. Though this world did not have a culture of proposing with rings, I thought it would be a nice token for the girls.

[9] For Kanon, I bought an emerald ring since she was born in May. For July baby Rio, I prepared a ruby ring.

The gems weren’t large because I don’t have that much money saved up. However, both Kanon and Rio appeared very pleased with their rings. Good enough for me to get a big ‘OK’ for my proposal.

There’s no such thing as a family registry for marriage in this world, [6] which is rather convenient considering our circumstances, but we do need to make a vow of marriage before a priest at a church to formalize our relationship.

Generally, people would go to the church of the religion they believe in. However, we don’t really follow any of the religions here and the churches in this country don’t demand any serious conditions for marriage, so that was alright.

The freedom of religion in Malbert is something unique in this world. There were only three other countries that allowed such freedom, Elman, Leonhart and the Republic of Quinn.

It made me really glad that we decided to run away to this country. [1] Thanks to this freedom of religion, there are many different churches here and any one of them could sanction a marriage.

My idea was to go to the nearest one and register immediately but- [5]

“Marriage is a once in a lifetime occasion!” [7] Kanon protested when I told her we could just register at the local small church and sign our names there for maximum efficiency.

“That’s right, we should at least have a wedding ceremony at one of the large churches at the Royal Capital,” said Rio. “I heard the churches there are very splendid and beautiful.”

“Yeah! I heard that the Church of the Goddess of Earth is highly recommended. Since there are many farmers around, there are a lot of believers too. So the churches are very beautiful.”

Ah, it looks like Kanon and Rio did a lot of research on this.

“Also, it is said that Earth Goddess symbolises fertility and good harvest. Couples married in her church will be blessed with children and happiness…” said Rio shyly.

“Yeah! I mean, it’s kind of early to think of children, but I want our marriage to be a happy one!”

[5] …I really don’t get it. Isn’t it the same wherever we go? Just making a vow in front of a priest or something?

[9] Oh well, even if I don’t get it, I want my brides to be happy. “Sure, let’s go to the Royal Capital.”

“Yes!”

“That would be nice…”

And just like that, our trip to the Royal Capital was set.

I’d been itching to visit different cities anyway, so this trip to the Royal Capital is something to look forward to.

[Gumihou: The dialogues were a little perfunctory, fixed.]

[1] Structural Change: Combine 2 paragraphs

[2] Structural Change: Combine 3 paragraphs

[3] Structural Change: Combine paragraph & dialogue

[4] Structural Change: Change passive sentence to dialogue

[5] Delete Repetitive or Pointless Information

[6] Additional Information for Aesthetic Purpose

[7] Add Dialogue Tag

[8] Creative Licence Taken

[9] Portray a little bit more realistic or at least sympathetic conflict of a man in love with two girls at the same time. Also, gave the polygamy discussion a bit more thought. Also, adjusted the dialogue to reflect the personalities of the three heroes. Kanon gets a bit more ‘!’ and Rio a bit more thoughtfulness. Otherwise, the girls are kind of interchangeable…

Chapter end