Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi C447 Handsome Vice Guild Master Requested Something Outrageous with a Straight Face

Gumihou: …if you guys are going to talk, do it normally!! Don't be like a machine reciting stuff. Ughh, more deletes, deletes!

Also, I can't quite grasp the Vice Guild Master's personality? His character seemed oddly mish-mashed just like the broken dialogue. Will try to fix it.

Starting Word Count: 2448

After Tristan-san collapsed, a very muscular man came over. He has the typical American style kind of ruggedly handsome look, complete with stubble and a very cut chin.

“Mukouda, is it? I am Bartolomeo, the Vice Guild Master. I heard a lot about you from Tristan. He's always talking about the interesting things you bring in. I supposed, in this instance, it was just too interesting, eh?”

Before I could defend myself from that uncalled-for remark, this buff guy turned around to issue orders for the staff. “Take Tristan upstairs, leave him to sleep off the shock. The rest of you, get back to what you've been doing. As for your party… follow me.”

[5] 

Well, seeing as he was the highest authority here after the incapacitated 

Tristan-san, we followed after Bartolomeo-san who led us to the warehouse, which I guess makes sense considering that I now have an extra party member just as large as Fer…

[5a] Warehouses were usually full of people busy processing whatever loot Adventurers brought them, this one was empty saved for our party and Bartolomeo-san.

“So, what made you bring that thing here? It's an Ancient Dragon, right? Though, aren't they supposed to be so huge that we have to tilt our heads to look at their faces?”

I have no idea how Bartolomeo knew that Grandpa Gon was an Ancient Dragon in one glance. Though, I supposed as a Vice Guild Master, he must have some kind of superior sense or some Adventurer related ability.

“Um, I've said this quite a few times already, but he's my familiar… And, yes, Ancient Dragons are usually quite large, [8] but to become my familiar, he shrunk himself to this size…”

“Is that so? I'd like to believe you, Mukouda, [8] but surely you know how crazy this sounds? I wish you wouldn't make up stories like this… [5]”

[8a] “Wait, you're the one who claimed that he's an Ancient Dragon! Why are you refuting me now?!”

[8a] “Eh, ah, well…”

“Master is speaking the truth. I am Master's familiar,” said Grandpa Gon.

[8] “Th-the dragon is speaking… hold it, so the rumour that legendary creatures could speak human language is true?”

“Of course,” Fer snorted. “Moreover, I, unlike some geezer, am this guy's properly registered familiar.”

[4]

“I… see, so the news that the upper management is fussing about is true… [5] All Guilds have been given the order to do our best to attract you into the country.”

“Oh?”

“Ah, yes, a letter from the King of Leonhardt came to us.”

“I… see?”

“The content is, hmm, basically something along the lines of 'If it pleases you to have our country destroyed, be our guest and provoke the Fenrir'. There was also something like 'If the Fenrir crushes you out of its displeasure, it is out of our hands'.”

“… ah,” so, basically the same stance as Elman.

“Exactly, the general policy is to 'not stir up trouble with the Fenrir party', but here you are. What do you have to say for yourselves~?”

“Uh… sorry?” It's not like I deliberately set out to collect legendary creatures like some weird pocket monster adventurer.

[5b]

“Hmm, while we're on the topic, I supposed I should ask if you plan to subjugate the entire continent.”

“Wait, what?!!?”

“Well, I supposed there is nothing we could do if that is your intention…”

“Bartolomeo-san!!!?”

“Oi, stop messing with this guy. He gets anxious easily,” Fer snapped.

“Hm, I am unused to being a familiar, but I understand that I should obey my Master and protect him at all cost…”

“Ah… ahaha…”

Seeing Bartolomeo-san shrinking away from the threat of two legendary creatures, I snapped, “Stop it you two!”

The two monsters stopped.

“Ahaha… looks like you truly are their master. Ahem, please do your best to keep them under control.”

[5c]

“With so many capable familiars with you, I expect you must have cleared the dungeon? Was the Ancient Dragon the last boss?”

“Well, not exactly…” I told him about the Black Dragon and how Grandpa Gon just happened to be there.

“I see… I had not realised our dungeon had such a great being inside…”

“Well, it looks like he entered the dungeon about 200 years ago.”

“200– anyway, tell me about the other levels. From the 41st Floor onwards, please. I'd like to hear about the other floors but I was busy the day you gave your report and could not be here to receive it in person,” he sounded a little wistful. “The Guild Master and I have our own scope of work. Tristan is in charge of administration and trade while I oversee the practical side of Adventuring, including training and guidance.”

“It's a good division,” I said agreeably.

Bartolomeo-san shook his head, “I really can't handle administration problems. I'm glad to be of help in any way I can. Now, let's hear about the rest of the floors.”

So, I told him all about the vast and empty wasteland, the desert filled with creatures, the frigid -20 world.

Once it was over, Bartolomeo-san dropped his head into his hands and sighed. “I had been half afraid of this… no ordinary Adventures could have gone through those floors alive. Let alone properly conquer them.”

“Ahaha…”

“It's not just a matter of fighting monsters. The lack of monsters and plants means a lack of food and water. As for the days-long travel… at the very least, the party would need someone with an [Item Box] or a few magic bags. Just the cost of magic bags or hiring someone with an [Item Box] alone would be staggering, with no guarantee of getting through the wasteland alive.”

“That true,” I said, thinking about how Fer had essentially made a beeline for the entrance to the next floor at full speed, but it still took us days…

“Those who would dare to take a chance would be those with fat wallets and high-level skills. I can't let too many high-level Adventurers running around aimlessly in the dungeons, but I can't keep this information secret for too long either. I'll have to discuss it with my superiors on how to handle this information. For now, keep it to yourself, eh?”

“Yes, alright.”

Following this serious discussion was getting Grandpa Gon registered as my familiar on my guild card.

With that taken care of, it was time to leave for the Merchants Guild. I still needed a place to stay, after all.

As for the issue of dungeon Drop items…

“Tristan should be back on his feet tomorrow,” said Bartolomeo-san. “You can talk to him about the Drop items then. I'll brief him about the dungeon situation, so don't worry about it.”

On the way to the Merchants Guild, I continue with the 'This is my familiar, it's alright' routine.

It still caused a commotion at the Guild, but things mostly settled after I showed them my Merchant and Adventurers Card.

I must say, whether out of ignorance or daring, the merchants mostly got over the fright of looking at Grandpa Gon quickly enough. To the point that one of them even sidled over to ask, “Hey, can I purchase one of his scales?”

I declined, of course, and made my way to the counter to ask for a house or mansion we could all stay together. The property they recommended was an 18LDK mansion with a 'large garden'.

Well, since I have the money, I immediately agreed to the rent of 160 gold coins per week. It was a bit expensive, but I was just glad to have a place to stay. Especially since the staff inform us that the rooms were all very spacious.

Even so, they gave me a lot of reminders to be careful and not to damage the inside…

After receiving the key, I declined a guide from the Guild, only asking for directions to the place.

However…

“Is this really the place?”

Mansion? What mansion?

House? What house?

Isn't this a castle!?

I was staring at the huge and luxurious building in front of me, trying to fit the word 'mansion' into this humungous place…

“Umu, this is not bad, hm?”

“”Oooh, a house like this should have an even bigger bathroom, right? Right?””

“”The garden is big, bigger~~””

Ah, Sui was already bouncing around the… garden? National park?

“Hooh… humans sure know how to live well. I like it.”

Grandpa Gon appeared satisfied with the place. I guess as a dragon who collects precious things, he should have a finely tuned sensibility for nice things?

After the long trek to the main entrance, the huge doors opened to a spacious lobby, complete with gorgeous chandeliers and a finely crafted set of spiral stairs.

“This is too much, it's too extravagant…”

I felt out of place and antsy looking at all these unnecessary excesses. However, my familiars have no such qualms. 

All four had already trotted in and were lounging and relaxing in the spacious living room.

“Hahhh… well, I guess they earned it since the money spent is earned by them. Right, I'm going to get started on dinner now.”

“Ooohh, finally, the much anticipated delicious Karaage! I have high expectations for you!”

“Yes, yes,” I said vaguely as I wandered to the back of the mansion, where the kitchen should be.

When I finally found it…

“Woah, this place is pretty huge too.”

The magic stove here has six burners instead of the standard four.

“Alright, since Grandpa Gon wants Karaage, let's get cooking.”

Since this would be his first fried food, there's no need to go overboard. Let's go with the standard soy sauce and salt-based types first.

More importantly, we must have volume!

In other words, lots and lots of Cockatrice would be sacrificed on the altar of Karaage!

Gumihou: Word count… 1653

Fer: …

Gumihou: … you know what? This is fine.

Fer: Whatever you say.

[1] Structural Change: Combine 2 paragraphs

[2] Structural Change: Combine 3 paragraphs

[3] Structural Change: Combine paragraph & dialogue

[4] Structural Change: Change passive sentence to dialogue

[5] Delete Repetitive or Pointless Information… starting to delete pointless scenes now

[a] Pointless inner thoughts that made no sense, big space good for talking, but if I take my goods out, all warehouses become cramp spaces…

[b] Deleted seriously unnecessary details

Original:

“I only have one question… Are you planning to claim supremacy over this entire continent?”

I was taken aback by Bartolomeo-san, who had just asked such a question with an entirely straight face.

“Huh? What are you talking about?! Stop saying things like that!”

Edited:

“Hmm, while we're on the topic, I supposed I should ask if you plan to subjugate the entire continent.”

“Wait, what?!!?”

[c] Deleted Scene where Sui and Dorchan interjected about being ignored and Mukouda commiserating about being ignored. It just made the text look messy

[6] Additional Information for Aesthetic Purpose

[7] Add Dialogue Tag

[8] Creative License – Adjust dialogue

[a] Dialogue inconsistencies: Bartolomeo was the one who said Gon was an Ancient Dragon, for him to also be the one to berate Mukouda for 'lying and being childish' and claiming he has an Ancient dragon for a familiar within three breaths seems kind of stupid.

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