Surviving a Harsh Fantasy with Cheat Items Chapter 82.3

Published at 27th of February 2022 02:44:23 PM

「Do you really want me to tell you? If you forcibly dig up the memories you wanted to forget, you will suffer.」

「What if I still want to know?」

「If you recovered those episodic memories accurately, you’re going to be mentally impo. 」

「Eh….? 」

Impo is it? What kind of goddess would say impotent?

However, I’ll be mentally damaged if I remember, that’s scary!

「Maa, do you think I’m lying when I said that about your memory?」

「You are a goddess-sama, I don’t think you’ll lie.」

「….I mean, don’t you think it’s weird?」

「What is?」

「No normal high school student can sleep in the arms of a cute quarter beast girl, or a loli demon, or the thick Ria, while being wrapped in the scent of ladies who were swooning him. Resisting aside, you are even irritated as if you can’t stand it anymore! 」

「Now that you mention it…..」

I understand but why do you have to say it in a vulgar way?

Somehow, your character is gradually breaking.

「You’re not impotent because you’ve forgotten your memories but because you’re defense mechanism making you not get into a relationship with them. You’re afraid to get involved deeply with the opposite sex. In the end, all of your problems can be traced back to that. It’s like a fishbone stuck in your throat that won’t let go. That’s is what exactly what’s happening to you.」

「…..I see.」

「I’m sure you’re wondering so I’ll tell you objectively about how you are before you transmigrated. In your original world, you were estranged from your family, though you were not on bad terms, and you had no girlfriend nor close friends at school. I’m sure you know this.」

「Nothing’s clear though.」

Thinking about the past is like looking at someone else’s life.

I was lonely and not involved with anyone. I didn’t particularly want to be like that but that’s what happened.

「You were estranged and had no place anywhere but you were absolutely strong. Your soul is in solitude but you are strong. If it continues that way, you wouldn’t even consider going to another world and will just continue to live alone and eventually, die alone.」

「If I didn’t mind being alone, why did I chose to go to another world?」

「Well, it wasn’t until a particular event happened to you in your original world. You made your first close friend. It was a girl but she’s not your lover. Even so, she’s someone who connected with you on a deep level.」

「If that is the case, wouldn’t I want to stay in my previous world more?」

Even if it’s not a lover, I have someone I care about.

Thinking about it now, I’m sure I’ll do anything to protect her.

「What if the moment each of you fully understands and fully connected with each other, that girl disappeared from the world without a trace?」

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「That’s….」

I don’t know. Is that what really happened to me?

The most important person in my life disappeared, does that mean that she died?

「To say it frankly, the shock of losing the first person you ever cared about was too much for you to bear. That time, your family, schoolmates, and all the people in your area died so nothing is holding you back.」

「That’s sublime….」

I can’t imagine it, not the present me.

However, given the tingle on my chest, it must have happened.

「Even if your memory was sealed with an unabashed face and you tried to continue living, you still suffered a deep wound that your heart that you can no longer get it up.」

「Please, don’t say I can’t get it up」

「For a boy at your age to not be able to get it up, that’s quite something!」

「I know it already so please stop saying I can’t get it up.」

If the goddess is like this, the saints and saintesses won’t be different.

As for my tragic past, I felt something in my chest but that means it’s not broken.

I mean, there’s more to it. I’m shocked that I’m an impo in my former world too.

How should I take it?

「With the power given to you by your one and only soul friend, who no longer exists anywhere, you chose to erase all your painful memories and came to this world. It was a coincidence that this world was chosen but looking at it now, you have already found a lot of people you care for in this world.」

「If that is the case, should I live in this world permanently?」

The goddess thought a little and then answered.

Chapter end