Lady To Queen Chapter 55

Chapter 55 – Ten Years Ago, On His Birthday

TN: This chapter goes into detail with physical and psychological abuse. Please skip this chapter if you do not wish to read it.

Ten years ago, Lucio, then a prince, anticipated his 15th birthday. Weakened though his mind and body were, he couldn't help but be excited about his birthday, and he woke up a little earlier than usual.

His birthdays were uneventful affairs. Even if the Emperor wasn't currently out on another military campaign, he wouldn't take notice of his son's birthday. His mother wouldn't hold a party either, so today was just another day. The boy just decided to be happy with the symbolic increase of his maturity.

“Your Highness, Her Majesty the Queen is looking for you,” a servant to him.

It was noon time when Queen Alisa summoned him, and a little rain was beginning to sprinkle on the ground. The boy went to the queen's palace, thinking he should hurry up before the rain grew stronger.

A small flame of hope burned in him. Perhaps today…his mother would give him a gift instead of a beating. Alas, the boy was still naive about the reality he lived in.

His expectations swelled when he arrived at the palace and saw Queen Alisa, who greeted him with a rare smile. She always used hurtful words whenever she saw him, but today her smile sparkled like silver. The hope grew in his mind.

“Greetings, Your Majesty,” the boy said.

“Welcome, Prince. The weather is beautiful.”

The boy paused. The current weather was anything but beautiful, but he didn't say anything against her. If his mother said it was good weather, then it was good weather. Perhaps she meant that the air felt cleaner because of the rain.

“Yes, Your Majesty. The weather is good,” the boy replied.

“Today is your birthday today, isn't it, Prince?”

The young boy's heart leapt. His mother remembered his birthday! Was she going to give him a present? He nodded vigorously in excitement. “Yes, Your Majesty.”

“Your mother prepared you a present,” Queen Alisa said, and stood up from her seat with a smile. Lucio, understanding the motion, followed behind her. Although it was raining, she did not hesitate to step outside. Her ladies-in-waiting held umbrellas over her and Lucio each.

The rain, which had been patchy when he arrived at the queen's palace, had now strengthened to a steady pour. The boy wondered what kind of gift Queen Alisa had prepared for him, but he kept his mouth closed, afraid that she would withdraw the present.

Soon Alisa's footsteps stopped, and the boy saw that they had arrived at a remote pavilion. He looked at the center of the pavilion in puzzlement. Was she going to give that to him as his present?

“What do you see, Lucio?” Alisa inquired.

The boy's heart pounded. This was the first time she hadn't called him “dirty child.”

“It looks like a person, Your Majesty,” he answered.

“Yes, it's a person.”

Before them was a large object covered by a white sheet. The boy wasn't sure, but it did look like a person under there. He looked happy when he guessed correctly, but his happiness crumbled in an instant at Alisa's next words.

“You're going to kill them.”

“…What?” The boy stared at his mother disbelievingly.

Alisa gave him an elegant smile. “You will kill today, Lucio.”

“Your Majesty…”

“It will make me very happy if you kill them, Lucio. Would you be willing to do this for your mother?”

The boy didn't want his mother to be unhappy. But he couldn't do this. He couldn't murder someone.

He shook his head, and Alisa's smiling face quickly hardened to stone. The boy stiffened. He knew what came next when she made that expression—violence.

However, she did not beat him, instead saying his name in the same voice as before. The boy was taken aback by her unexpected response. He replied to her in a slightly terrified voice.

“Yes, Your Majesty—”

“Are you trying to disobey me now?”

“No, Your Majesty, not that—”

“I don't want excuses. You truly are a bad child.”

Bad child. The boy shrank at those words. He had heard the phrase countless times when he was beaten. Bad child, dirty child, vulgar child.

While Alisa never stopped her beatings, she knew from experience that it was not the wounds of the body that truly hurt a person, but the wounds of the heart. And she wished to leave more scars on the boy more than anything else. She had always felt inferior and jealous towards Janet, especially when concubine's spawn would now be the one to inherit the empire.

“You won't do what your mother wants. You're a bad son,” Alisa sneered.

“I'm sorry, Your Majesty…but killing a person…”

“I don't want excuses.”

The coldness in her tone struck the young boy. He bit his lip and dropped his gaze. He had to do everything his mother told him to do, or else she would hit him again.

But he couldn't do it. He could never kill someone!

Except that “never” was not a word that Alisa knew. She was the queen of the empire, and—without the Emperor here—queen regent. She couldn't control the current emperor, but she could the successor. Otherwise, she would have nothing to do but wallow in misery. A queen who had neither power nor the king's love was insignificant.

“My dear, when was the last time I held a cane?” she crooned.

The boy flinched. It was a phrase she used when she referred to her beating him. He almost urinated himself when he heard those words from his mother on his birthday.

…Was his mother going to hit him? But why? Just because he didn't kill a person?

The boy accidentally wetted himself. His mother was going to hit him because he didn't want to kill someone. He looked at his mother desperately. If he pleaded to her earnestly, perhaps she would show him mercy.

Alisa did no such thing. She had only a singular thought about the boy—he was not the son she gave birth to.

“Argh!” the boy cried.

The beating began. Her method had always been “from head to toe”, and it not only involved physical beatings, but sexual taunts as well. The brutality of her words was too ugly and dirty to repeat, and was nothing anyone else would dare say to their child.

“Heug, heug!” The boy moaned painfully and wrapped his arms around his body to protect himself.

The fact that one's own mother would do this would shake the deep-rooted values of a child. All mothers loved their children—but if they did, why would God let him be abused by his mother, unlike other children?

It had to be because he deserved it. Physical abuse inflicted surface wounds, but the mental abuse continued to stir up deep shame inside him. It was difficult enough for an adult victim to overcome self-blame, and nearly impossible for a child. The boy was dying on the inside.

“Y-Your Majesty…please help me…” Amid his struggle to survive, he dared not call her “mother”. He knew that she hated when he called her that. Instead he constantly struggled for her approval and mercy.

Unfortunately, Alisa was a woman who did not know mercy. She had no interest in the suffering of a boy who was not her child.

What made her such a cruel and woefully perverse woman? Did the Emperor's indifference towards her make her that way? Or was it because he had a mistress and child out of wedlock?

Perhaps Alisa became accustomed to the repeated punishments she gave, just as the boy had. She did not notice herself slowly turning into the devil, and then one day, simply accepted that she was.

“You damned child! Why don't you kill the shallow and stupid person you resemble!”

One of the boy's wounds that had not yet fully healed broke open again, and he bit his lip to muffle his cry. Alisa would often say “the shallow and stupid person you resemble” during beatings, but he didn't understand what it meant. He was the child of the Emperor and Queen. Who else would he resemble?

His mind started to dim. Pain was already a familiar companion to him, so it wasn't too bad. He just had to keep hanging on. He didn't die from the last assault, so he wouldn't die this time either. This pitiful thought was his only shield. He was still young, and he wanted to live.

This time, however, Alisa's violence did not cease. At that moment, he surrendered to the thought in his mind.

'If I kill that person, will Mother stop hitting me?'

Chapter end