Lady To Queen Chapter 54

Chapter 54 – At Least We Can Be This Close

“You didn't ask me why I'm this way,” Lucio asked.

Patrizia answered immediately. “If I asked you, would you tell me?”

“I didn't think so,” she said at Lucio's silence.

“…You wouldn't understand.”

“You don't know that, because I didn't hear it,” she said, her frustration building. “Of course I can't understand if I don't know what it is.”

“Maybe you don't need it, but if you want my understanding so badly, you should tell me how you feel. I cannot read your mind, so I'll die ignorant unless you tell me.”

But she suspected that he probably wouldn't tell her. Why would he? He already had Rosemond. He and Patrizia weren't close enough to have such expectations on each other in the first place.

“Whether you tell me or not, I do not care either way. We're not in love, so it doesn't matter to me what you conceal.”

“But if you do tell me, I will listen and try to understand you, depending on the situation. Shouldn't that at least be possible between us?”

After Patrizia finished speaking, she saw fear reflected in Lucio's eyes. Not fear of her—no, it was more like…fear of what hadn't happened yet.

What did he have to be afraid of? Did he fear that she would not understand his madness? Or did he fear that she would reveal it to everyone?

Patrizia couldn't help but speak again. “So I don't mind if you tell me or not. We can simply bury the matter. And…I don't intend to spread rumors about it, and my people won't talk either. There will be no dishonor to the Imperial Family and His Majesty.”

Patrizia finished speaking, and Lucio still said nothing. She gave him the time to think, but his continued silence was frustrating. Still, Patrizia forced herself to wait patiently. It was unfair to ask a frightened child for an immediate answer. At least wait until the fear abated.

“You…you wouldn't understand.” It was the same reply as before.

Patrizia repeated her same question. “Is my understanding so important to you?”

“I do wonder if you really need to be recognized me. I'm not even your dearly beloved Rosemond.”

Lucio looked at her with wide eyes. Was he crying? Patrizia could see redness in his eyes, but it was hard to tell if tears were flowing down his cheeks. She wished the moon was out to shine a light on them…but perhaps it was better to hide behind the veil of darkness.

The heavy silence lengthened between the two, then Lucio began his confession.

“I'm a murderer.”

It was a shocking introduction.

In all truth, it was a wonder that he hadn't descended into complete insanity by now. A normal person would have been. But he had a solid constitution. Even after the crime, he somehow managed to ascend the throne and rule an empire.

He was unmistakably the royal firstborn of the previous emperor.

But his mother was not the queen.

His mother was a woman named Janet, a concubine of the previous emperor. She came from a poor family, and was lucky enough to capture the emperor's attention. Strangely enough, while she gave birth to a boy, she had not been given a title of nobility.

That was because the Queen came from the Duke Oswin family, which at the time was enormously influential. The power of Duke Oswin—the boy's legal uncle— was not immediately apparent because he preferred to live on his territory, but the family had the power to shake the empire at any time.

The boy's legal mother was Queen Alisa, and she was known a good woman. Supposedly. In the boy's early memories, she was nothing more than a demon, but he had heard that in the early days she was very kind.

The boy did not believe in the theory that human nature was fundamentally good. He did not believe in the theory that human nature was fundamentally bad. What he believed in was that they were both. Good and evil were a muddy combination in human nature.

Alisa, as everyone said, was a good woman in the beginning. But as her beloved husband took in a concubine, and as the said concubine produced a child, Alisa became increasingly hateful. As the situation worsened, Alisa's goodness eroded away, and the feelings of evil that never would have been revealed rose to the surface.

Once the darkness was stirred, it was only a matter of time before evil expressed itself, especially if one didn't have the will to control it.

Perhaps things would have been better if Alisa had had her own child to suppress these feelings. Unfortunately, however, she was unable to bear a one. When she found out, she nearly went mad. It was close to a death sentence for a queen not to be able to produce a son. An infertile queen lost all her worth, even if she came from a family as powerful as the Oswin's.

Alisa's only wish was to stay by her beloved husband's side until she died. Out of desperation, she adopted—nay, stole—the son of the concubine. Janet refused, but no one would listen to a humble concubine with no title, let alone over the queen of the empire.

Janet's son was torn away from her helpless arms. At the time, no one then thought it would turn out well. The baby was not Alisa's child, and it was difficult to love a son that came from a lowly concubine. Regrettably, it turned out that Alisa was not a saint after all. She was a person as normal as any other, and had grown up in a wealthy and caring environment. Perhaps, in her softness, she took her misfortune more tragically than others.

Her father, too, believed that Alisa would be unreliable in raising the boy, but she confidently told him that she would raise the child well herself. That never came to be.

She abused the boy. The places where the abuse took place varied, but it happened mainly in the queen's palace, where Alisa lived. The palace became a painful place for the boy to relive the abuse.

Alisa's cruel treatment was not limited to the physical; she would not hesitate to say cruel and obscene things to him as well. It was a miracle that the boy even grew up somewhat normal after enduring the verbal attacks.

Beatings happened near daily. To avoid suspicion from her father, Alisa left wounds that were only visible if the boy completely removed his clothing.

The boy was raised by Alisa's hands, and he had no idea about Janet's existence, or why his supposed mother seemed to hate him so much. As children often do, he did everything he could to win his mother's favor, but violence was returned to him every time. Alisa always called him “dirty child”, and, confusing the meaning, he took several baths a day. When her opinion of him didn't change, he soon quit.

There came a time when he realized that it wasn't worth it anymore. By the age of thirteen, the boy realized that his mother would not love him no matter what he did. The revelation devastated him. His normally cheerful and bright personality evaporated, and after thirteen years of cruel treatment, his smile was long gone.

If a person was abused by the woman they knew as their mother, then their chances of growing up as a normal, happy child was close to none. At the time, however, the boy was so devastated that he did not even notice the change. His life was bleak, but nevertheless, it was still a life still worth living.

Until “that” happened.

The previous emperor was a man of frequent conquests. Under his rule, the territory of the Mavinous Empire expanded by ten percent. The emperor often left the palace to go to the battlefield, and the queen managed the palace while he was away.

During those times, Alisa's abuse would intensify. Already the boy was too sickly to resist her violence, and he had become accustomed to her cruelty, like a baby elephant that accepts shackles on its body. For the boy, Queen Alisa was that shackle.

On the boy's fifteenth birthday, the emperor left the palace yet again, and an irrevocable tragedy happened.

Chapter end