Kyou kara Ma no Tsuku Jiyuugyou! Vol 8 Chapter 4

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Sorry for skipping a week!  I haven’t even responded to any comments yet ^-^;; I was celebrating Easter.  And by celebrating I mean using the holiday as an excuse to eat an obscene amount of Cadbury mini eggs while crashing at my mom’s house on the pretty side of the island XD  If it makes you feel any better, this is a much longer post than some of the others that I’ve been putting out recently!

Snagged the illustration for this chapter from Portrait of a Demon King.

Chapter 4

      As they got closer to their destination, the division of labor became clearer.

      Chevalier noticed and looked at him with a smile.

      “Yeah.”

      “Maybe he’s dreaming about eating something delicious.”

      Ninety percent of Chevalier’s answers were one or two syllables.  ‘Yeah’ or ‘yes’ or ‘no’ or ‘dunno.’  Even fighters in evil secret societies use more intelligent words these days.

      Fanberlain would praise Lady Celi, Sizemore would make little comments here and there while rubbing his arm uncomfortably, and Dacascos would write down the phrases Fanfan used in his mental notebook.  The count was already up to forty.  The newest one was ‘constrict a beauty’s neck in pearls, tightly.’

      Just who are you, Chevalier?

      Dacascos became uneasy and asked him a question as he lifted the box.

      “Dunno,” answered the manservant of the queen as he smiled, his white teeth showing.

      Dacascos has never won at that game.  His wife springs them on him at every opportunity, but at present he stands in complete and utter defeat.  His Poison Lady, Amblin, does things like this: ‘put your hand to your heart and try to think hard.’  Abbreviated: ‘try to think.’

      Dacascos inadvertently fell into his usual bad habit and started to cry.  Even his prided bald head that seems like it would come in handy in a dark street at night lost its shine.

      This is the first time in a while he’d heard the blonde-haired attendant speak so much.  More importantly, this was also the first time in a while that he’d heard his entire name.  It was so agonizing that he almost dropped the box.

      “Is that so?  I think that’s very cute.  Like a newlywed couple huh, Mr. Nanatan Micotan Dacky?”

      He had tried to figure out Chevalier’s origins and ended up having his question evaded.

      “Oh, seems like something happened.”

      “It’s likely that two out of the three are traps leaving just one real door.”

      Dacascos tried putting his fingers on his temples and spinning around with his eyes closed.  His ears started ringing.  “I got it.  It’s definitely this door with ‘Vacant’ hangi-”

      No one listened to his opinion.

      Luckily, there were three doors and four people.  If three of the people each took a door, most likely one of them is the real entrance.  If by any chance the other two doors are traps, in the worst case scenario there will be two people left.  The remaining two should be able to carry their target out.

      An impressive aspect of him is that he’s also gambling with his own life.  A plan that two-thirds of the participants would fall into a trap isn’t something suited for someone who isn’t a soldier.  Despite the fact that he was inevitably interested in the treasure, his business spirit was admirable.

      “… If I lose my life here… Please tell Cecilie this. ‘Ah, your laugh is the splash of a stimulating stream.  Your sigh is the bittersweet fragrance of a rose.  Your eyes sparkle like the morning dew amongst the verdant leaves.  Your lips are-”

      “Of course.  Verbatim, if you please.  I even took the time to think up an alliteration with ‘splash,’ ‘stimulating,’ and ‘stream.’”

      “Well, let’s pray that it is a needless worry.  It’s alright.  Although I am inexperienced, I am the man who inherited the name of Fanfan.  I have never made a mistake with forward trading.”

      “Are you ready?  Missouri, Smetana, your company’s card!”

      “… The same room has three entrances…”

      “However, there might be traps farther in.  Everyone, please be care-” Sizemore started.

      “Well, the head is an elephant.” (2)

      So he participated in sorcery in some unknown place?  Furthermore, he grips a splintering wooden doll and lifts it to eye level.

      Have they not stored any non-cursed items!?  The higher-ups at the temple seem to be collectors of dangerous artifacts.

      “Oh hey.”

      ‘The End of the Wind’

(2)    This was a pun.  The word for statue in Japanese (zou 像) is pronounced the same as elephant (zou 象)

      The headache that came at the same time as the throbbing, the metallic smell that spread inside my nose.  My eyes hurt as if they were stabbed with needles and the loud reverberation in my ears won’t stop.  Someone is talking, but it just keeps going on without me being able to understand the words.  It was as if I wasn’t just hearing it through my ears, but like there were headphones right on my brain.

      “…-ya… Shibuya…!”

      The blonde-haired person slightly narrows his eyes and I can see his lips move just a little bit.

      There’s… no… choice?

      My consciousness rapidly rose to the surface.  Lord von Bielefelt had lifted the metal club and was about to hit me.

      When I try to lift my head, nausea and dizziness hit me.  I inevitably have to put my head back down.  The back of my head hit something not at all firm.  I have a bad feeling.  This taut, fleshy feeling is…

      Just as I feared, my head was in Josak’s lap.

      “Gugh.”

      “Mmph… mpha! What are you doing?!  It went all the way to the back of my throat.”

      But he isn’t here.

      It was wet.  Probably from the snow.

      The third son looks away.

      “Worry about yourself!”  At Murata’s reprimand in an unusually strong tone, I immediately shut my mouth.  “You fell from up there!  Well, in the middle Lord Weller skillfully grabbed you, though.  If he didn’t you would have smashed into the ground and might have broken all the bones in your body.”

      A little distance away, there were several referees and workers.  Grey lumps are falling from up high off of snow shovels suitable for areas with heavy snowfall.  Just what are they doing?

      “They’re getting rid of the round stage because they have to save the guy that got buried.  You did it, didn’t you?”

      “Who… Don’t you remember it at all?”

      “Does that mean I did it again?  The usual Super High-and-Mighty Mode?  No, before that, buried?  Who got buried?  That’s bad.  Is that person..?”

      “I did something dreadful and indecent and grotesque and something to make people suspicious of my character again, didn’t I?”

      However, the American Football Macho wasn’t the only one who said ‘gyafun.’

      “Why am I alive?  It’s weird.”

      “… What’s wrong with me?”

      “Look the other way.  I’m going to do something about that injury on your neck.  Gurrier, do you have a needle and thread?”

      “Sew?  Without anesthesia!?  Hey, use that healing technique!  You said that you could at least stop someone’s bleeding.”

      I reach a hand out to Murata looking for help, but he rejects me with a ‘you reap what you sow.’

      “Aren’t you gradually turning into a malicious character?”

      “Hey look, the rescue squad!  We might as well let the professionals handle the medical care.”

      “Huh?”

      “Bu… Lad-Lady Feli?”

      “Mother!?  The arena is prohibited for women.  How did you get here…”

      “Quite admirable.”

      “What’s that sudden change in attitude, Yuuri?  Your face turned submissive.”  Wolfram was not amused.

      “Ah, you’re His Highness that I’ve heard about, right?  Just like I was told, neither your eyes or hair is black, but… you’re a very, extremely cute person!  You really do look a lot like His Majesty.  Aww, I want to greet you officially and honor you with a passionate embrace, but… Your Highness, please forgive me.  Please don’t think of me as a rude woman.”

      After giving her usual ‘call me Celi,’ one of The Great Demon Kingdom’s Three Great Beauties places her fingers on my neck.  The chilly and good feeling spreads not only across the surface, but inside the wound as well.

      “I-I’m used to adversity.”

      “Ow.”

      “It, it’s okay.  Please do it.”

      “… Flynn?”

      “Okay Your Majesty, now let’s just wrap it in cloth. I planned on pouring in plenty of my love, but as expected I can only provide emergency healing in this place… It will be bad if the injury opens so I recommend avoiding energetic motions… Oh my, saying energetic motions brings things to mind…”

      “And then,” the Sexy Queen says as she abruptly turns serious and places her palms against my jaw.  Emerald green eyes the same as the third son’s waver for a moment with unpleasant emotions.  “Please forgive Conrart for what he has done.  I apologize on behalf of my son.”

      “No, I do.”  She pressed her rosy lips together and shook her head and one section of her golden curls came undone.  “It all started with me.  How many hardships have I put that child through because of my stupidity?  If I started regretting them I would never be able to regret them all.  But Your Majesty, believe at least this.  That child would never betray you.  There must be a reason for this.  A complicated reason that he can’t reveal now.  So…”

      Cecilie placed one hand to her heart and placed the other on mine.

      This sincere and calm tone she is using is 180 degrees different than her usual self.  Her eyes were full of kindness.  The very bottom of my spine tingled.

      No matter how young she looks or if she charms one man after another and engrosses herself in new loves, she is definitely a mother.  Most likely I’m the only one who didn’t know that basic fact.

      I look around while taking care of my stiffening injury, but he is not within my view.

      “But he’s alive,” Wolfram said with a sigh.  It seems his thoughts just spilled out of his mouth.  “There’s no better news than that.”

      They all look similar so I can’t tell them apart immediately, but I recognize the thickness of his stubble.

      “An audience?  We’re meeting someone important?  What a pain.  It’s going to be a garden party or something.  Wolf, go as a representative.”

      “We’ll just put that in the suggestion box… Wait!?  Grant our wish?  I won?  Did I win!?”

      Murata and Wolfram looked stunned.  The third opponent was American Football Macho, Adalbert von Grantz.  What cowardly, underhanded trick did I use to defeat a strong, muscle-bound guy like that?  The reason I can only assume it was cowardly is because I understand my own fighting ability.

      “… Upsy daisy…”

      When I pass by Lady Celi in her rescue squad costume, the former queen gives an impish smile and changes places with the human next to her.

      “… Congratulations.”

      She must have not liked something about my response because she stiffened even more and fell silent.  She should be more upfront about her happiness.  Murata played with his ear with a know-it-all look.

      I wonder if he’s remembering Sister Christine’s Sweet Trap era.

      We were just in the temple right next to the arena, but for me whose whole body was like jello, long stairways were extremely troublesome.  I won’t let my knees give out.

      “It’s okay, Josak.  I don’t want to be treated like an old person.  Especially since normally we have an absurd difference in age.”

      Be that as it may, our reception is awful.  Even if we’re the winning team as a joke, we should be lifted up by a bunch of guys and carried around in a parade.  If that’s impossible, they should call back that gondola that flew away and lower us down like in my parents’ wedding… Now that I thought that far, I’m reliving how many times they showed the video recording to me when I was a child.  On second thought, forget the gondola.

      “I’ve been in a building that was completely plated in gold before, though.”

      “No, Kinkakuji,” my friend from Earth said with a straight face. (1)

      “Come to think of it, in my uncle’s bathroom even the inside of the chamber pot was gold.”

      Not only have the only metallic and reputable things I’ve collected been a metal bat and a golden angel, I didn’t even get a toy kitchen so I lament my lack of life experience.

      I’m really lucky I have a lack of life experience.

      “Your Highness, I have brought before you the three representatives from the autonomous region of Caloria, territory of Shimaron, the winners of the Big Shimaron anniversary celebration ‘Use your knowledge, speed and skill to win!  The World’s Best Fighter Tournament,’ plus one spare.”

      “Your Highness, I beg an audience…”

      “It’s not ‘Your Highness,’ it’s ‘we,’ okay?” (3)

      I was surprised at the voice, but the guide was genuinely amazed.  He’s standing in a pose with all five fingers on his hands spread out like he’s holding huge, F-cup boobs.

      “That’s right, it’s us.”

      The punchline of that bad pun stung.  I remember how unbearably hungry I am.

      Why are they so panicked?  The prince was just a representative after all.  Isn’t Her Majesty making an appearance a cause for celebration?

      “I wonder what kind of ‘us’ they are.  My guess is a young girl in glasses.”

      However, our expectations were completely betrayed.  This world is cruel.

      “Commander, reporting!  According to the report by basement security, it seems that thieves have infiltrated the treasure room.”

      After giving a response like in a police drama, the guide/commander’s hair bristled.  But the ones who gave us an impressive reaction weren’t just the commander and the soldiers.

      Flinging the bamboo screen aside with sinewy fingers, the king of Big Shimaron in his high-class position jumped out.  There weren’t even any stones in the way and he stumbles and tips over and he clings to the slats in the bamboo screen with his skinny arms.  The Japanese-style, lemon yellow curtain couldn’t withstand the weight of an adult and tore.

      With a king from another country falling clumsily before me, I stood stock still unable to even help.

      “A, an old man!?”

      What covered his brittle arms and legs was a yellow cloth with red and blue vertical stripes.  It wasn’t quite to the degree of Mikawa or Kobayashi, but it was at least as flashy as a Japanese traffic light.  His reddish brown hair was in a splendid bowl cut.  He had a sharp jaw and hollow cheeks and he had an insane look to him like he would be the lone survivor in any monster movie. (6)

      This is really uncomfortable.

      “Hey, the box?  Did our box get stolen?”

      “Demon King statue?”  His Majesty Belal the Traffic Light’s eyes widened in disappointment.  “The one with the elephant head?”

      “It wasn’t solid gold or esoteric stone or anything.  What are they going to do with something like that?”

      When I turn to interrogate him, I caught sight of a young soldier behind him.  The man was speaking to himself unconsciously with only his lips moving.

      It seems that the unknown terror that ‘The End of the Wind’ contained was not known to all of the citizens.

      “However, Your Majesty… the guards who let the thieves in are quarrelling over something strange.”

      The inward curls on the bowl cut swung around wildly.  His hair is much shorter than the long hair that Sizemore longed for so even though he’s the king, he’s not of a military class.

      Yamada, bring me a zabuton cushion and some tea. (7)

      “What?  Unfairness?”

      Murata, Wolfram, Josak, and even the soldiers were caught off guard.

      He rolled up his loose sleeves and showed us the upper part of his arm with its joints prominently sticking out.  There were two lines etched into the dry, lifeless, yellow skin.

      It looked like there were two parallel, green bandages wrapped around his arm.  I couldn’t make it out clearly, but it looked like it was a linear and detailed pattern.

      I didn’t know what it was being compared to so I could only remain silent.

      “Even though it was made just like it, we can’t use the box!  Our father and our uncle and the ones before them all had it made the same way!  Even though we a~ll made our names Belal.  Even though our father and our son and those before us were a~ll Belal.  Despite that, not a si~ngle one of us could become the key.  Even Belal I’s arm and Belal II’s arm were useless!”

      The king of Shimaron with his left sleeve rolled up gave a dry laugh that echoed throughout the room.

      Hearing a word we were familiar with, we stiffened.  Why is the royal family of Shimaron talking about Lord Weller’s name?

      “This is unsightly, Belal IV.”

      “Your Highness!”

      “… His Highness?” I discreetly ask the walking encyclopedia next to me while covering my mouth with my hand.  “Usually His Majesty is higher up than His Highness, right?”

      If I compare the relationship between myself and Wolfram it’s easy to understand.  From whatever angle you look at us, he’s the more distinguished… Oh man.  But then again, since the third son’s title of prince has ‘former’ in front of it, even his attitude is a lot more distinguished… Man, oh man.

      “But I wonder about authority,” Murata adds.

      “… Uncle…”

      However, his clothing was like Sachiko Kobayashi and he had wings on his back in Takarazuka style. (8)

      The fourth generation king that should be in the prime of his life did not look like an adult at all when compared to his uncle.  He had his arms grabbed and was being moved around like luggage.

      His tone of voice was calm and polite, but the reversed power relationship was obvious.  His Highness who did not inherit the throne had a higher rank than the current king of Big Shimaron.

      “Did I ask, Your Majesty Belal IV?”

      Eh, another Bela-chan!?

      “So His Majesty and His Highness are both Belal… Is there some kind of religious reason for that or something?”

      “Shh!  I know a bit about their names so I’ll tell you about it later.”

      His Highness the Second stroked his beard with his fingertips and spoke coldly to his nephew.

      “You did say that…  But we wanted to be of some help to Your Highness.”

      After getting yelled at by the robust old man, the man near forty broke down into tears.

      Isn’t calling your nephew’s sincere good will ‘unnecessary’ particularly narrow-minded?  Of course, from a uh, Confucian type of mindset there’s no use in arguing and the older person is more important, but even so he is ‘His Majesty’ after all so how about treating him with more respect?  If Belal IV who has an inferiority complex in normal circumstances is dwarfed even more, wouldn’t that be bad for the citizens?  Oh, and I’m not saying this because I have my own inferiority complex as a rookie king.

      “Stop.  What’s the point of admonishing the morals of an enemy country,” Wolfram warned me before I could even get into the beginning of what I wanted to say.

      His Majesty the Fourth who looked like he was going to start crying at any moment shook his bowl cut back and forth.

      “We want to be of use to Uncle… being thought of as a parasite is painful… I mean… since Conrart came, Uncle only spends time with him…”

      Say it again!  Belal IV, again!

      However, I didn’t need to ask the sobbing man.  The other person behind the bamboo screen walked out into the center of the room to soothe the king.

      The man who had called me Your Majesty until recently.  No matter how many times I told him to stop, he always ended up saying it out of habit.

      I felt as if every single last drop of blood in my body rushed out through my feet.

      I see, Lord Conrart Weller.

      I was supposed to be keeping calm, but my body wouldn’t stop shaking.

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(2)    Kenichi Mikawa is an Enka singer famous for his gaudy costumes.  In one of the last chapters in novel 7, Yuuri remarked to himself that the prince’s outfit looked like something Mikawa would wear.  Here’s a video of him singing in an old Kohaku Song Battle.

(4)    Reference to a manga series called Hajime-chan ga Ichiban (Hajime is Number One).  I’ve never read it so I can’t really say much about it, but it’s about a girl named Hajime who has quintuplets for younger brothers that got scouted out by a music agency and she’s kind of like the mother to them because her family was poor and she had to help out a lot at home.

(6)    Sachiko Kobayashi is pretty much the female version of Kenichi Mikawa.

(8)    Takurazuka is a famous theater group composed of all women.  Their performances are dramatic and fancy and part of their draw is that all of the roles are played by women.

Chapter end