Kyou kara Ma no Tsuku Jiyuugyou! Vol 4 Chapter 2

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      As usual, this is an amateur translation so there's probably some errors ^_^

Chapter 2

      Before being considered an adult, you are stood in front of a bunch of important people and made to answer detailed questions and demands at a ceremony.  Some children, not being ready emotionally, are not even able to complete the ceremony.  Being born into the ten noble families means that the examination is that much more relentless.  Suffering hours of harassment… there is no one who can say that they made no mistakes during their rite of passage.

      Everyone has memories of that day that are so embarrassing that, till the day they die, their faces will get so red they can literally catch on fire just from remembering them.

      “That time was very disagreeable.”

      “Three of the witnesses started crying.”

      “No matter how touching my declaration of devotion and service to my country was, it was still just a kid’s childish ideas.  To take it so seriously…”

      “My plans for reorganizing the central bureaucracy and also about my current invention, the magic-powered meat grinder machine.”

      Ever since that time, the two of them were the Mad Magicalist and the Guinea Pig.  The meat grinder machine was, without a doubt, a thing of excellence.  Seeing the huge, magic-powered blades turn and chop up an entire pig whole was an unforgettable sight, even if you wanted to forget it.  But one day, her older brother was searching for his pet chicken and looked inside… the rest of this story is too scary to continue.

      Compared to that episode, Yuuri’s horrifying magic he witnessed the other day seems cute.

      The woman, given the thankless codename ‘Red Devil,’ manipulates the controller in her hand in a grandiose fashion.  The Guinea Pig, with his hands suddenly thrust into the machine on the desk, opened his eyes wide in a move unlike him as he sat lightly in a chair.  His mouth is shaped as if in mid-scream, but he has just barely managed to hold his voice down.  Fluorescent purple fireworks are jumping from his fingers, spread as wide as they can be spread.  They are sparks of magic (forcibly) gushing out.
 

      “Not until the weaving is finished.”

      “Cut-cut the power!  Just stop Mr. Fast-Knitter for a moment!”

      She’s the one who’s been saying that.  Lord von Voltaire’s childhood friend and knitting teacher, the woman who has written in her diary ten thousand times that she will devote her life to the advancement of The Great Demon Kingdom, the Mad Magicalist, has put her hobby to a practical use in researching magic to make the lives of demons all the more affluent via daily experiments like these.

      “Shit… maybe The Great Demon Kingdom’s Three Great Nightmares…”

      Taking out the finished product from Mr. Fast-Knitter, she examines the fabric closely.  The knit and consistency is perfect, but it seems to be lacking in refinement.

      “… You’re going to say it’s a failure, right?”

      Of course.  It’s been close to 150 years that they’ve been going through this same thing.  Gwendal collapsed on the desk with a mutter.  Why does she keep making these unnecessary machines?  But still, that meat grinder was awesome.  It was a masterpiece in every meaning of the word.

      What he wishes above all is to never be seen like this.  In actuality, he’s only convincing himself that no one knows.

      Package tours are where the company takes care of everything and are thus super easy.  From transportation tickets to accommodation reservations, the company arranges everything.  Sometimes, even the souvenirs are included.  On two-hour specials on TV, there’s always talk about someone getting murdered on one of these vacations, but in reality they’re not that dangerous.  If there was one drawback, it was that you might get stuck riding with annoying tourists that you can’t get away from for the whole day.

      Putting our elbows on the railing, we faced the coast that had long disappeared over the horizon.

      “… Why are their four of us?”

      Because he would have definitely objected, I left a note for my overprotective tutor in the writing I had just learned saying that ‘I’m going out for a little rehab.’  But that was no good.  First of all, he wouldn’t understand what rehab was. (1)  So, I thought I’d write ‘I’m leaving the castle,’ but I couldn’t remember how to spell ‘castle.’  In the end, I figured I’d at least let him know I was coming back. With that, the note became as so:

      … Was that too vague?  No, he’d be able to figure it out.  Now I just hope that I got the sentence structure right…

      Finished with my preparations, I rolled my huge trunk to the designated meeting spot.  Waiting there in light clothing was the second son, seasoned traveler.  But…

      “… huh?”

      “I’m your fiancé so it’s my duty to supervise you on your travels so you don’t get caught up in some sort of love affair!  Especially since you’re a flirt, a cheater and wimp!”

      “… Don’t call me a wimp.”

      “At any rate, I was more shocked by Your Majesty’s plan.  Scandalously hiding a girl in your trunk.  It was impressive.”

      The fourth person was inside my huge trunk and was wheeled here by me.  They were that small.

      “Well, if it isn’t the assassin!”

      “Unbelievable!  What did you say to the guards?”

      “That’s like acknowledging the claim.”

      Even I know it’s crazy to take the person who tried to kill you with you to rehab.  But, she’s only about ten years old and if I left her at the castle I don’t know what Günter would do to her in his rage.  He’s beautiful and wise, but when it comes to me, he loses his head.  I can only think he suddenly gets stricken with some horrible illness or gets possessed by an animal spirit.

      “There’s one person on this planet.  Sorry for being stupid.  But no one’s been able to get her to say why she tried to kill me or where she got the insignia from, you know?  Would you be able to stand not knowing why an elementary school student tried to kill you?  I wouldn’t.  I want to ask her.  But I still can’t get her to tell me her name.”

      “Hey, what’s your name?  If you can’t tell me your last name, just your first name is fine.”

      Even so, I make myself keep asking.

      “Hey, if you don’t tell me your name I’m just gonna make something up.  Like Instant Noodles or Maruchan.  Oh, but I don’t mean Martinez who used to be in Seibu.” (3)

      Conrad puts his hand on the girl’s forehead while standing behind her.  For a moment, I’m jealous of how easily and naturally he touched her like that.

      “A fever!?  Then she won’t be able to go in the hotsprings!?”

      It seems they’ve overcome discrimination and prejudice with their hardcore merchant spirits.

      “We’re not going there,” said Conrad.

      If you bathe in this abundantly flowing water for one day you’ll live three years longer, two days and you’ll live six years longer, three days and you’ll live until you die.  That calculation is a bit strange.

      “Ooh, I like that, stronger than before.  Then if I soak up to my shoulders maybe I’ll get rocket arms.  And if I dive under, maybe my IQ will rise, too?”

      “Anyway, since Schildkraut is two days away, let’s just pass the time in our cabin.  Especially since we have a child with a fever and an adult who is seasick like always.”

(1)    Rehab is written in ‘Japanglish’ here as ‘rihabiri/rehabili’.  Oh, I also forgot to mention that Conrad used straight up English to say rehab in the last chapter ^-^;;   The two of them use a lot of English. Yuuri especially.  I should probably point that out more often…

(3)    Two things in this footnote!  The first is Maruchan (which I’m not even sure I need to footnote, but you never know).  Maruchan is a company that makes instant ramen.  The second is Martinez!  Domingo Martinez played for the Seibu Lions and his nickname was Maruchan.  It’s got nothing to do with the ramen company, though.  Martinez was a bit on the roly-poly side, and Martinez written in Japanese is ‘Marutinesu,’ so they took the ‘Maru,’ which means ‘round,’ and stuck –chan on the end for a cutesy nickname.  Basically, Maruchan is a friendly(?) way of calling him… well, roly-poly.  Here’s his trading card XD

      When Günter von Christ discovered the thin yellow paper left behind on top of the desk in the Demon King’s deserted office, he did a little dance.

      So moved that he even had ‘tears’ coming out of his nostrils, the tutor studied the slip of paper.

      “Oh, what strokes brimming with boldness and self-confidence! As expected of the calligraphy of the one who supports us demons.  It makes me proud to teach him.”

      “Now then, even though I’m alone, I’ll read this heartfelt composition aloud.”

      Yuuri was extremely hesitant about whether spoken language and written language was different, so he just wrote it in the subject-verb-object order he learned in middle school English class. If you took some artistic liberty in translating it, it meant ‘I’m going out for a bit,’ though.

      His slender white fingers were shaking so much that the paper was wrinkling.

      Academically translated, this reads as: ‘I’m becoming a monk.  Don’t look for me.’  ( 1 ) **you should definitely read the footnote XD

      “Why is His Majesty becoming a monk!?  Was he not satisfied with me!?”

      A soldier rushed out onto the opal floor of the office, not even pausing to knock on the door after running down the hallway.

      “Is it about becoming a monk!?”

      “Huh?  N-no.  I have no such joyful news.  We believe that the perpetrator of the high treason crime of attempting the assassination of the king has escaped.  And, well… according to what I’ve heard, it seems likely that His Majesty himself let the criminal out in order to have a private talk with his child…”

      There’s no telling what goes on in the brains of the ten nobles.  The middle-aged soldier who brought the news slowly backed away from Günter, who was breathing wildly through his nostrils.  How does he understand everything with just that little bit of information?  The one he served before was like that, too.  They were definitely born into the ten nobles, but all they did was invent bizarre things.  From his view, it was mind-boggling why they spent so much time making those complicated machines.

      This is why normal citizens can’t understand the thought processes of nobles.

      “Y-yeah…”

      Wondering if he’s reciting some script, the only spectator becomes uneasy.

      “I have to do something….”

      “I have to bring His Majesty back!  First, I need to find what temple he went to.  Of course, since His Majesty is so hard on himself, he would have chosen the most difficult road.  And then, if necessary, I will also join the brotherhood to save him… you there!”

      “Wh-what is it!?”

      It seems like he’ll be lonely doing it by himself.
 

      This is the real joke.  Yuuri wrote, “I leave home.” (Ore, deru, ie wo).  The characters that Günter couldn’t read were written in katakana(bold-italic approximations, here).  So it was like he was going, “I… lea… ho…?”  Basically, all he could read was ‘I’ and the kanji.  Anyway, the kanji for ‘leave’ and ‘home’ form the word ‘shukke’ which, as I mentioned before, means becoming a monk, so that’s how Günter comes to his conclusion.  Geez, that was difficult just to explain o.o

      I freaked out a bit wondering what I would do if it turned out to be a soaking wet girl sobbing in the corner of the room or a horde of fallen soldiers looking at me, but the moaner was the Assassin Girl because her fever had risen.

      The sweat that appeared on the child’s forehead shone in the dim light of the small lamp.  The rolling of the deep black waves spread out on the other side of the round, inset window.  I felt minute vibrations from them like a stronger version of a cell phone’s vibrate function.  If giant squids had a territory fight near the ocean floor, it seems the boat will feel the effects as well.

      When I caught the flu, for three days I could just barely make it to the bathroom.  It was painful to eat and drink.  I could only eat my mother’s porridge or ice cream.

      Since husband and wife equally take part in raising their children, I guess a father would be okay too.

      “…-ome.”

      “Hm?”

      “I can’t go back home.”

      To offer to pay transportation fees for the person who tried to kill you…  I’m really something else.  The girl clammed up again and, due to her fever, curled herself up into a fetal position as if she were cold.

      “I…… Izu…ra.  Is that a name?  Or is that an encouraging word or something?  Izura… sounds like a girl’s name.  Then I’ll call you Izura.”

      “Then what’s your name?”

      Ah well, for now let’s just do introductions.

      I started to say it out of habit and caught myself.  Here there are no kanji and no Harajuku.  This introduction will never be useful to me again.  I’ll probably never have another chance to use it.

      Without any clear intent, I touched her hair.  I might have been going to pat her head.  I didn’t think anything of it.

      “Ah, sorry!”

      Twisting her body in order to get away from me, she fell unceremoniously from the bed.

      “Yuuri, wha!?  Whadd’re ya doin’ to the kid!?”

      “You unfaithful, shameless jerk! You’ll even lay your hands on a little girl!?  And right in front of me, your fiancé.  Don’t tell me the reason you’ve been rejecting me is because you have that kind of preference!?”

      You’re suspecting Yuuri Shibuya has a Lolita Complex?  That’s not even funny.  I have no such interests.  If I had to say one or the other, I like older girls.

      There’s someone knocking on the door.  I locked it just in case.  Cracking it open a bit, I see a uniformed crewman standing at attention.

      “I was on patrol of the passenger cabins and heard the screams of a small child from your cabin.”

      “Oh, it’s nothing really.  We were just having a little argument.  Nothing to trouble the staff about.”

      “S-Scheming?”

      “And now that she won’t listen to you, you’re trying to control her with violence?  Hitting her with a cane.”

      “Hey, human over there, cut it out.  Yuuri’s fiancé is me.  For a filthy kid li… urk.”

      “Oh, so you’re not betrothed to the child, but that person over there?  And your fiancé has morning sickness so what is your relation to that child?”

      I slam the door right in his confused face.  People who get in the way of other people’s love affairs… wait no, it’s not a love affair.  Keep your nose out of other people’s business.

      “I can’t believe… I can’t believe anyone…  not anyone.”

      Of course.  She came to kill me with a small blade.  She probably, no, definitely hates me.  If not, a ten year old wouldn’t try to take someone’s life.

      I was apparently making a very pitiful face while looking at the shivering child.  Having seemed to have held down his nausea, Wolfram moves to stand behind me with assured footsteps.

      “What?”

      Even though those curls I thought looked like ramen were only a few centimeters away, my fingers stop in midair.

      “You didn’t tell me that so kindly.”

      Stretching my back slowly, I divide my weight between my three legs.

      “Well at the very least, you figured out her name.”

      “Greta, if you don’t go back to your bed and warm up, your fever will stop going down again.  Come on, stand up and get under the covers.  If you end up developing a cold, you won’t be able to go into the hotsprings, right?”

      “…uh….”

      It’s Conrad with anti-fever medication and ice.
 

(1)    Just wanted to point out that Yuuri says ‘My name is’ in English here.

Chapter end