Defying Natural Order with DeoxyriboNucleic Acid 3 Chapter 2 - I fucking love ninjas!

I love eyes… Eyes are an important part of the human body! I think I love eyes as much than character creation menus… you have freedom and choice on what to make it look like. Super handsome or super ugly. The only thing that limits it is the 1 million sliders for each goddamn feature… WHY THE FUCK DO YOU NEED THAT MUCH BLOODY SLIDERS, DO YOU WANT ME TO LOSE MY EYES!?!?! Despite there being fucking over fucking 30 million sliders, I was able to create my desired body.

Crimson-red eyes that could penetrate any person's soul, glossy brown skin enough to captivate passersby. Hair as white as snow, covered one of the eyes on his perfectly chiseled face; two pointy ears stood out and blended in with the body. Immaculate. I nearly fangirled over it... What the fuck is wrong with me?

I want to click on the save button and...

-Noooooo!!!!!

No one said to me he was my father, but that 'Random' button just aside the 'Save' one just killed all my dreams. And I can't stop my finger from reaching the save button and… Loading screen! No??? I only bought a license for one character! Did I just fuck up my life??? It shouldn't be too ugly no? But the mirror in the loading screen kill again my just-revived dreams, I look like an old guy in his forties… A shameless old guy… Am I shameless? No! So why? Why heavens?

Why that random button???

Reluctantly sighing I pressed okay as now all the other buttons became grayed out. It turned pitch black again until, I suddenly heard a string of dings from above me… While a stream of notifications are appearing before me.

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A status window pop up before me

╔════════════════════╗

║Name: ImperialShadow:::::::║

║Level: 1::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::║

║HP: 0.1/0.1::::::::::::::::::::::::::║

║MP: 0.02/0.02:::::::::::::::::::::║

╟━━━━━━━━━━━━━━╢

║Stats::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::║

║Wisdom: 0.0001::::::::::::::::::║

║Comprehension: 10:::::::::::::║

║Luck: 9::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::║

╟━━━━━━━━━━━━━━╢

║Inventory::::::::::::::::::::::::::║

║Starter Gift Pack x1:::::::::::::║

║Random Gift Pack x1:::::::::::║

╟━━━━━━━━━━━━━━╢

║Genome (15 points):::::::::::::║

║Sheep Transformation::::::::║

╟━━━━━━━━━━━━━━╢

║Skills (0 points)::::::::::::::::::║

╚════════════════════╝

I was dumbstruck by the insane numbers of notifications as well as the greatness of my genome… I was even able to obtain points with it! BUT WHY THE FUCK DO I HAVE 0.1 HP?!? *Deep breath* It's fairly logical for a normal game to have the player start off with at least 1 hp! Even a hardcore game would let the player withstand even just a blow before dying! But look at me… I would be dead just by a single snort of another player. Not to say a bloody gangbang… Quite happily only dueling was introduced to the pvp system yet, most of the map being a safezone.

I moved my finger to tap on the Sheep Transformation skill.

A new popup appeared in front of my eyes.

╔══════════════════════════════════╗

║Sheep Transformation::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::║

╟━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━╢

║In ancient times there existed a clan with:::::::::::║

║with abilities known as Transformers. They died:║

║quickly and disappeared of the evolution chain::::║

║because the two last representent died quickly,::::║

║one was able to transform into corpse, so died:::::║

║while Transforming, the other was able to:::::::::::║

║transform into an apple and was ate by Adam,:::::║

║becoming the first case of cannibalism known:::::║

║PS: Costs 5 points per change of form:::::::::::::::::║

╚══════════════════════════════════╝

The first reaction I had was:

-Dad! Our ancestor is famous!!!!!

The second was:

-Dad! Our ancestor was eaten!!!!!

The third was:

-It costs so fucking much points!!!!!

This is basically daylight robbery! Great! Not only am I poor in real life but now I'm going to be poor in game.... That's a relief… However I felt something tapping on my shoulder while seeing a blinding light.

Ding!

-Ahhhhh!

I screamed and turned around accidentally swinging my fist at an old woman who then got slammed onto the ground.

o_O

Wasn't me. I tell you that old lady who fell onto the ground wasn't my doing. I slowly side-stepped away before I was tugged on my leg. The old lady stood up still trembling from the accident where my knuckles met her face.

-Hello, I'll be the one guiding you through this tutorial!

A strangely young voice come out from her mouth as she moves like a perfectly fine 20 years woman.

Then the surroundings are becoming darker… The sky too. The moon is blood red while screams and noises of fighting are heard throughout the night.

In front of me is a village, with the old lady before me.

-Hey, what's happe…

-Quick! Help me! I need help! My village is under attack, please help me!

-Wha…

The young voice is again breaking my immersion when the old lady stood up with a perfectly fine air and a pop up… well… popped up...

-Click on the 'Yes' button to start the tutorial.

-I WANT, here and NOW, explications!

-Click on the 'Yes' button to start the tutorial.

-You want to do this with me???

No!

I definitely pressed the 'No' button, and watched in a bird view as my character is fleeing and all the other villagers, including the old grandma, are killed, wiping the floors with their blood and intestines splattered all over. At least I'm still alive? Yeah it's all right unless I die…

Ding!

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I tried to open the status window:

-Open the status!

-Status!

-Please open the status!

-That's better!

A mechanical voice is sounding as the status window opened.

╔════════════════════╗

║Name: ImperialShadow:::::::║

║Level: 1::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::║

║HP: 0.1/0.1::::::::::::::::::::::::::║

║MP: 0.02/0.02:::::::::::::::::::::║

╟━━━━━━━━━━━━━━╢

║Stats::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::║

║Wisdom: 0.0001::::::::::::::::::║

║Comprehension: 10:::::::::::::║

║Luck: 9::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::║

║Will: 10::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::║

╟━━━━━━━━━━━━━━╢

║Inventory::::::::::::::::::::::::::║

║Starter Gift Pack x1:::::::::::::║

║Random Gift Pack x1:::::::::::║

╟━━━━━━━━━━━━━━╢

║Genome (15 points):::::::::::::║

║Sheep Transformation::::::::║

╟━━━━━━━━━━━━━━╢

║Skills (0 points)::::::::::::::::::║

║Thick Skin (1):::::::::::::::::::::║

╚════════════════════╝

Thick Skin? Sounds suitable for a guy like me! That's what I call a prop player! I then called out the system.

-Yo System! What does Thick Skin do?

The system then snorted and coldly replied.

-If you address me as uncle then I'll say it.

-You ain't related to me at all! Fuck off!

-Then tough luck you ain't going to know what it does.

I had the urge to punch the system in the face but then I had the excellent idea to tap on the words 'Thick Skin'.

A pop up effectively appears.

Ding!

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-You mean what, that I wasn't intelligent before??? Me. I'm pretty goddamn sure that I'm smarter than you….

╔═════════════════════════════════╗

║Thick Skin (0/1000):::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::║

╟━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━╢

║With great powers comes great responsibility…║

║Reduces all CC effects by 2%:::::::::::::::::::::::::::║

║Reduces your blush coefficient by 2%::::::::::::::║

╟━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━╢

║Evolutions::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::║

║Slackface::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::║

║Worst bastard in the world:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::║

║Emotionless Machine::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::║

║???:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::║

╟━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━╢

║Costs 1 point per activation:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::║

║Duration: 4 Seconds:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::║

╚═════════════════════════════════╝

Chapter end