Defying Natural Order With DeoxyriboNucleic Acid
/ Defying Natural Order with DeoxyriboNucleic Acid 11 Chapter 6 - The three musketeers
I am sitting on a table in the tavern of the Sleeping Rose.
PinkyKitty is just in front of me and there is a quite awkward silence.
A voice breaks the silence:
-So, why did you call me?
Oh! The super badass guy is here!
-Hey OneStokeOn-um OneStrokeOneSeoul-um OneStrokeOneSoul!
-Hey.
Cold as usual! DAT MY BRO!
I invite him to sit at our table.
He sits just aside PinkyKitty, and her face is becoming even redder than before (as if it was possible) while her head is so low that it enters her chest.
I was about to start talking when I had a terrifying sight: she was gripping tightly at her magic staff while it was starting to glow red.
-PinkyKitty, you can come on my side if you are uneasy there.
OH FUCK! I could've said to her to take one of the other sides! How will I be able to stop myself from patting her head then die in horrible suffering???
And I see you reader ready to comment angrily about the mc's stupidity! I panicked, ok? I wasn't prepared for that! My resistance to women is close to the absolute zero! -273,15°C! FUCKING -273! You understand?
But well.
While I was thinking, she sat on my side.
She is now gripping tightly on my arm as if it was a staff while throwing timid looks at OneStroke[1].
Resist… Resist… Resist…
Another time, OneStroke is here to break the silence.
-If you're here to show off your seducing skills, I am convinced. Now, can I leave?
-No! No! That's not what you think at all!
I reacted too late, the warm feeling on my right arm disappears while I discover that the sun is quite hot.
Wait.
Something's not right.
Aren't we in a tavern?
I hurriedly look up and see a gigantic fireball starting to form. The tavern is already open-air as hundreds mana points are quickly joining the fireball.
-Pinky! Pinky! It's a misunderstanding! Pinky!
I look down to check on OneStroke.
Fuck! Too late!
-OneStroke! It's not the time to look for death!
A black aura is gathering around his sword.
FUCK IT!
-Pinky! OneStroke! Come on stop that!
[...]
I was about to start enchanting my sword when he was insisting it was a misunderstanding.
I am not sure he's right.
Let's slash her.
-OneStroke! It's not the time to look for death!
Or so he says. Even if it's dangerous, better slash than doing nothing.
Let's slash.
The skill is in its starting animation.
-Pinky! OneStroke! Come on stop that!
He's my leader, so I should listen to him…
But I want to slash...
Let's imagine he's right, what should I do?
Hmm...
Then, let's do that!
I cancel the skill and open my mouth.
-If you lied, I'll slash you.
[...]
-If you're here to show off your seducing skills, I am convinced. Now, can I leave?
How?
HOW DARE YOU!
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-No! No! That's not what you think at all!
I'll kill that one and spare the other...
Die… Die… Die… Die… Die…
DIE!
DIE!
DIE YOU FUCKER!
-Pinky! Pinky! It's a misunderstanding! Pinky!
Are you trying to save him? THEN YOU'LL DIE TOO!
-OneStroke! It's not the time to look for death!
ALL OF YOU DIE!
-Pinky! OneStroke! Come on stop that!
He… He said my name first!
I hurriedly cancel the fireball and the flight spell and hug him with all my strength.
-I…
I am sorry…
I say in my mind.
-And...
I whisper in his ears:
-I love you.
[...]
Urgh! I'll think about that later, right now I need to SURVIVE this hug! Gotta think about a way to have her stop hugging me… Wait… That squishy feeling.... I watched enough h... er, animes to guess that I absolutely musn't let her notice it! Else, I'll get months of timidity and hesitation and I won't get to see, even less touch, boobs again! So I took my decision! -Hop! I hug her took and go to sit back on the table, with her not only on my legs but also hugging me tightly! GREAATTT! I invite OneStroke to sit. -Now let's talk about the name of the party! [...] -I tell you the three musketeers is the best! He insists, but I won't change my view! -No! Yellow Rice is better! -It isn't! The three musketeers is a cultural reference! It is perfect for a three man, em, people team! A plumpy old man interrupts our conversation. -Deer customer- -Shut up! Don't you see I'm talking? -Shut up! Don't you see I'm talking? We both say at the same time. -No! I AM talking! Not you! -No! I AM talking! Not you! Oh, you… -Stop copying me! -Stop copying me! I notice at that moment that she's still gripping at me even if I dropped her long ago in the moment's agitation. -Shh… -Do you think I'll shut up because you told me to? Oh… I won then, so that's the three musketeers. One understood when I pointed Pinky, as for the other... -Now it is time to pay for the damages and interests… He'll destroy my chance to hug a girl! Is it asking too much as a virgin to just hug a girl??? -You'll get two things: a screen and an advice. But you won't get any money. I hurriedly send him the screen to keep my dramatic effect. If I want to keep it, I need to not let him any time to react. That kind of badass thing only works if synchronized. He receives it. Then, I whisper in his ears: -My advice: do NOT wake her up. As expected, his face is white and all his limbs are trembling. Ha ha ha! Defban can calm down anyone! -Now give me a room. He hurriedly rushes to the npcs who are already fixing the inn. He seems to say something to it. From how the inn was fixed within the minute, I can guess he paid some kind of heavy real-life money price to get some premium boosts. Construction, loans, travels… All kind of things the company makes money with. They sell the console, then sell the game, and then services that are supposedly not affecting the game balance. But this is false. With a travel speed boost, you can escape ambushes from PK players. You can also get quicker to some unique quests or events. That means you grow in power quicker than others for the same invested time. And it's the same for construction boost. You can't directly buy in-game currency with real-life money, but in fact, you can indirectly do it through building. If you build a market 1 month faster than others, if you build an inn in a few hours or even sell your building services to others… These are all money-making methods. With in-game currency, you can buy everything if you have the money for it. You can even get players to let themselves be killed by you. In this game, the premium is advantaged. But not unbeatable. If I am strong enough, mere boosts won't be able to faze me. Hmm… Seems like things became quite serious in my thoughts… Let's go back to more happy subjects. I still hold her and she didn't wake up! Ha ha ha! -See you tomorrow, I'm quite tired. Oh, seems like OneStroke is leaving. -Okay, see you! Well, I have to say I'll exceptionally sleep in-game today! [...] I don't know myself why I keep acting as if I'm sleeping. But it really feels warm… [2] He's holding me firmly and I quite like that feel. I could almost really fall asleep if he wasn't taking advantage of the moment to grope my breasts. But… I guess that if it's him, like… It's not as if I liked him, but maybe it's a bit fine. I just don't want to move, that's all! I am just too lazy to move! Yeah, yeah it's that! It's not like I love him, baaakaaa! [3] [...] -Such a good night! -I-It-It's not like I lo- I cut myself, hoping he didn't hear what I just said. -What did you say? Oooh, he's so perfect! Always meeting my expectations! No! No! I don't like him!- -NO! I slap my face hard to clear my messy thoughts. -Eh? That's the fault of that night, how can he get me so hot without even finishing his fucking job! He just teased me all the night! -Forget about it. I would just die of embarrassment. -Okay, anyway, I slept really well, and you? What the fuck, you just groped me all the night! -Ye-Yes, me too… -Sleeping in-game is really not bad, wanna do it again tomorrow? No! No! Say no! -Yeah, why not. Idiot! Why did you agree??? -Anyway, I'll go to work, we'll meet up this evening at the same inn than yesterday. -Okay. Why??? Why me? [...] -Hey everyone! I just joined everyone, it seems like I'm the last one to arrive. Are they all NEETs? Am I the only one working here? -H-Hi... -Yo. -So anyway, I'm going to create the party this evening. As for the name… We'll take mine! -Oh no… Not that yellow rice thing. -No, that's your idea Stroke, mine is The Three Musketeers! -... Are you actually stealing ideas from others all the day? -Not at all. Anyway, let's go for a walk. He is left speechless. -W-We should stay at the inn, it's quite cold outside. The wind is freezing… -What are you saying, we're in the middle of sum- I opened the door, it is snowing outside. I felt the shilling wind, and instantly closed it. -Fuck, is this an event? When I came, the weather was sunny! It was not even a minute ago! -No, it's just season changes are quite brutal in the game. And as there are not even 30 days in the game's year… -Oh, okay. *cough* From what I managed to get through my special hidden high-placed friends, the weather is cold, so we should stay inside. -Great… You really are stealing everything other says, can't you say anything Kitty? -So awesome! How did he manage to know that? [...] Fuck, her memory is even more fucked than mine! How come she forgot she just said the weather was cold a few seconds ago? Is this what you call blind trust? She just trusts more what he says than herself? What team did I get in? [...] -Okay, so let's go for the Three Musketeers! I'm going to register it! Once it's done, we cannot change the name for the next six months unless we pay an exorbitant price in irl money. -It's almost done! Gonna press confirm. [...] -Okay, so let's go for the Three Musketeers! Oh, that name sounds so good, Master [5] is really too awesome! -It's almost done! Gonna press confirm. Oh, such a sense of suspense, Master is a godly being even among gods! [5] [...] -Okay, so let's go for the Three Musketeers! I know, it's not as if you stole it from me… -It's almost done! Gonna press confirm. Can't you just fucking click on it??? [...] My finger is about to reach confirm and… -Are you THE ONE? I am interrupted. -The one? -Yes, the one researched everywhere by the #1 guild! The one who had the bad luck to pick a legendary weapon not even adapted to his class! -No, sorry, you must have confused me with someone else, if you talk about ImperialShadow, he went this way. I point the door. -Oh, my bad. I gotta go! I sigh of relief. He was really dumb. For once I am happy because of someone idiocy... My username was just above my head... Tiny, yes, but as I wasn't moving much, he had almost forever to read it! -Or so you thought I would say! Aaaah! Fuck, that guy is creepy! I almost shouted out. He just went back when I was turning my back to the entrance. Fuck it! -So, I just proved I am a better assassin than you are a ninja. Can I join your party? -Eeehhh, sneaking behind me doesn't prove anything! And anyway, there's a problem that stops us from taking you in. -Which one? We're the Three Musketeers, so we can't take a fourth member. -Even if he's called D'Artagnan? -Even if he's called D'Artagnan. Do you think I would not see you just fucking changed you username at the same time than asking? Did you think that because you had money you could trap me? [1] It's time to start giving shorter names for some characters. OneStroke for OneStrokeOneSoul, Pinky for PinkyKitty and… I don't know how Imperial Shadow (mc) will be called by others, but I suppose Shadow, Emperor My Ass or Shitty Emperor is fine. [2] I almost wrote attakai (in japanese characters that I can't write else the chapter get blocked, it means warm), while my mind was wandering… [3] If she can get even more caricatural than that, I'll knock myself out with a blob of tofu. [4] Don't worry I don't know too (when she started calling him master and seeing him as her god). Chapter end
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