Tsuki Tsuki Vol 6 Chapter 4

Chapter 04: Unhanded Thing, Warm Chest, Blue Sky

A girl was crying at the park. At some point she started to follow half a step behind me like a puppy and wouldn’t leave me side. She was always by my side. I affirmed her every word and showed her a smile.

Then one day, when we played together like always, the girl asked me timidly with a kind of nervous face.

Because a girl asked me that, I was gravely flustered.

But I was too embarrassed to admit it. I gave the short and brusque answer “Nope”.

“If that’s so and you don’t mind, well, ehm…”

“W- would you, make me your…bride, Shinobu-chan?”

At that time, Nazuna, who had watched over us, puffed up her cheeks and shouted.

“Ehh? Is that so, Shinobu-chan?”

“I don’t plan to marry either of you. Because I love pretty, strong and sexy girls like my mother.”

Because of that, Nazuna dropped her shoulders dejected and the girl started crying with “That’s impossible for me”.

“Say, Shinobu-chan, if I were to become as bright as Nazuna-chan, stop crying and become a strong and sexy girl like you said before…would you take me as your bride?”

“You’re not weak, Shinobu-chan. You’re really kind. Because you’re strong, you’re kind. That’s… that’s why I like, love! you, Shinobu-chan. So make me your bride…!”

Even though I was happy, really happy, I could only reply brusque to the girl’s wholehearted confession. Yet,

The girl grabbed my hand firmly and smiled brilliant.

She needed me. She said she loved me. She fell in love with the weak me, who was called a failure at my grandfather’s dojo. That was why, for the first time in my life, I came to terms with my own weakness.

…But, in the end, I let go of her hand.

“Sorry, Sakura-chan.”

I woke up from my dream on my own sudden voice…

The morning of the third day of seaside school. While sitting on my bed, I absent-minded watched my roommates leave the room.

“Hey, Nanjou, did something happen? You’re kinda weird since last night.”

“Ehm, why don’t you come along? I don’t know what happened, but you might feel better by going out?”

“…I see. But, if you feel like it, just come to the beach. Let’s pick up some girls together.”

I watched him off, but

I called Asada to a halt, as I suddenly remembered.

“Mh? Minami’s first name? Ehm, what was it again? I’m sure it‘s—”

“Ouka”— the word that left Asada’s mouth was just as I had expected, yet before I noticed it, I had clenched my fists tightly. In my head floated the trembling voice of a girl.

—My name is written with the [Sakura] and [Hana] kanji as Ouka. You see, my friend said “Ouka-chan, you’re as pretty as a cherry blossom, so I’ll call you Sakura-chan”. So everyone started to call me Sakura…

Even though she stopped crying when I petted her head, the girl started crying again when she said “After we moved, no one called me that anymore…”.

Feeling regret, I made a heavy sigh, whereupon Asada looked at me doubtful.

“…No, it’s nothing. Sorry for asking something weird.”

Leaving behind a warm smile, Asada slowly left the room.

At that time, there was a sudden knock on the door and Kaorun peeked her head inside.

“How was Hijiri after that?”

“I see… But, I don’t think there’s need for that. I’m sure, Minami will understand once she knows the details. She was just surprised by the suddenness. If we give her a bit of time, it’ll work out.”

“Excuse me for saying this, but you can only say that because you areabnormal.”

When I inadvertently asked back on the unexpected words, Kaorun nodded small.

Momentarily stopping her words, Kaorun looked at me intensely.

“Because Nazuna and I know about you well. We know that you don’t use your powers to hurt people. So there’s no need to be scared.”

“Wouldn’t you be more sad than me then?”

“…Judging by her behaviour last night, I find it hard to believe that this person holds the same belief as you, Shinobu-sama. If the Master should find out about last night, she might get transferred away.”

“Yes. Such a task is a simple matter for the Gogyou Household. However, I do not believe that Hijiri-chan wishes for that. It would only hurt her like it had in her childhood. So I tried to think of a different method than transferring her away, but…I could not come up with a good idea. Could I ask for your assistance on that matter, Shinobu-sama?”

When I replied so and stood up, Kaorun frowned doubtful.

“It’ll be fine with Minami.”

Somewhere in my heart I thought, that I was just trying to convince myself. But I wanted to believe in her. Because I wanted to trust my preciouschildhood friend, I repeated it once more.

Kaorun wanted to say something, but… in the end, she closed her mouth and watched silently how I left the room…

After that, I asked some classmates, who I happened to run into at the lobby, about Minami and came to know that she was still in her own room. Once they told me where her room was, I swiftly headed there. And after a small hesitation, I took a small breath and knocked on the door.

“…Yeah.”

“I guess, it’s about yesterday?”

On my question, Minami slightly clenched her fists and answered.

Midway, Minami tightly bit on her lips and cast her eyes down.

“Why? You should know how Hijiri is. You don’t let appearance or others influence you, right?”

—Even though I knew the reason why she wasn’t scared now.

“Why do you say that?”

“There’s no way I would be scared of you, Nanjou-kun…of you, Shinobu-chan.”

“Shinobu-chan, do you have forgotten about me? Or, can you still not forgive me? Because it was my fault that Nazuna-chan had that traffic accident—”

This time I cut into Minami’s words and denied it firmly.

…The words I couldn’t speak out for a long time. Right now, I could speak these trivial words properly.

A snow-white hospital room. An unconscious sleeping Nazuna. My crying self. And Sakura-chan, who didn’t cry at all cost, even though she always cried.

Back then, I was treated coldly by my friends for playing with Nazuna and Sakura-chan, so I told the two “Don’t follow me” and went ahead.

As a result, Nazuna desperately chased after me…and was run over by a car. She continued to sleep unconscious in the hospital she was brought to. The doctor roundabout called it a vegetative state.

But, Sakura-chan didn’t think like that. She believed, that it was her own fault.

“Sorry, Shinobu-chan. It’s all my fault. Because you two were with someone like me, everyone made fun of you, Shinobu-chan, and Nazuna-chan ended up in a traffic accident…”

But I couldn’t say anything, so Sakura-chan bit on her lips with still tears in her yes and turned her back to me, which trembled lightly.

“…I’ll, give up on becoming your bride, Shinobu-chan. I’ll avoid you from now on, I won’t cause any troubles… so don’t come, to hate me…”

“But you know, I’ll try my best to become strong. I’ll become so strong that I can support you, so at that time, you don’t need to take me as your bride, but… play with me again, okay.”

Not spilling the tears in her eyes at all cost, she strongly clenched both her fists and with a sadly crooked expression, she still undaunted formed a smile.

You can cry. It’s not your fault, Sakura-chan.

Not allowing the cry-baby girl to cry and hurting her, I only cried.

With a chipped voice at the end, Sakura-chan disappeared from me.

—But, that was in the past.

I told her my seven years worth of feelings.

I couldn’t do it back then. So I reached out my hand for Sakura-chan… no, for Minami and gently petted her head like in the past.

“….You’re so mean, Shinobu-chan. When I saw you again in high school, I recognized you right away, but you didn’t notice at all. You didn’t remember me. You weren’t even looking at me.”

“I wanted us to get along like in the past, but because you avoided everyone, opposite to before, I couldn’t be by your side. But before I knew it, you had gotten along well with Gogyou-san rather than with me…!”

“The reason I can’t seem to talk with Gogyou-san properly, isn’t just because I’m scared. I know that Gogyou-san isn‘t at fault and that I shouldn‘t… but I was envious. I had known you way before Gogyou-san had, yet you looked more at her than me…”

“So I panicked on my own, thinking that Gogyou-san was taking you away from me. Not even considering her feelings, I get scared. I know I shouldn’t, but I can’t suppress my feelings….”

“I love you, Shinobu-chan, I always loved you, so I wanted to be with you again…!”

“Shinobu-chan, I became stronger. I won’t cry like I did in the past. I can properly support you now. So let me stay at your side like in the past. Pet my head. Look at me more. Make me… your bride.”
Wet eyes. A warm hand. Wholehearted words.

…Just like back then.

I was happy. I was really happy. That she continued to feel for me made me really happy.

But, Minami didn’t forget me. She always stayed in love with me.

She must have been unable to forgive her weak self. To get rid of her weak self, she changed how she addressed herself, cut her pretty, long hair and tried to become stronger. She continued to work hard alone.

Not for just anyone, but for me.

With myself smiling innocent. With my precious childhood friend by my side. Just a moment of bliss, without any enduring of hard training.

But, even while I knew that, I sadly already had an answer.
Slowly opening my eyes, I softly let go of the warm hand and squeezed my words out.

“…Sorry, I can’t respond to your feelings.”

Meeting Luna on that day, I saw a feasible dream.

Therefore— I once again, unhanded something precious.

“I see. That’s, how it is. Ahaha, well, nothing I can do then.”

“Good luck, Shinobu-chan. I won’t cry like in the past because you dumped me. I won’t tell anyone about Gogyou-san either. I’ll try to get along with Gogyou-san, so…can we… stay as friends from now on?”

Minami’s voiced trembled greatly as she forced herself to smile.

Unable to hold back, I once again petted Minami’s head.

“Geez, Nanjou-kun, you can’t treat someone you just dumped so kindly. I’m fine already, so hurry up to Gogyou-san.”

“…Okay.”

Minami looked down with her shoulders trembling. Actually, I wanted to pet her head numerous times like I had in the past. But, I didn’t have the right to that now. I bit down on my lips and left the room wordless.

In that moment, a faint weeping voice started beyond the door.

Still, this was something I decided on my own.

Pressing on my chest plucking, I mumbled and once more bit down on my lips. When I headed back to my own room to be alone for a while, I spotted Kaorun at the corner of the hallway.

“…You came to check up on things?”

“What makes you think that?”

Along with her words, Kaorun stretched herself and started to gently pet my head.

“Don’t worry. Everything’s fine with her. She said she wouldn’t tell anyone about Hijiri. And that she would try to get along with Hijiri.”

“I am glad to hear that, but… why are you making such a face, Shinobu-sama?”

“I understand. Please call for me if there is anything. I will listen to your grumbling or whatever it might be.”

According to Kaorun’s words, I was making a face that worried others.

…I should somehow recollected myself until I meet up with them.
Mumbling so in my head, I returned to my room with heavy feelings.

Like promised yesterday, I met up with Luna and the others at the beach. There we played together for a while, then I returned to under the parasol. From there I absent-minded watched over the others happily playing beach volleyball on the sandy beach.

“Taking a break too?”

Nodding with a smile, Luna started to watch over the other together with me.

“Shinobu-san, did something happen?”

“No, well, it kind of looks like you are forcing yourself, so I was a bit concerned.”

Apparently Luna had noticed it.

“Actually… I hurt my precious childhood friend again…and made her cry. …I’m just no good. In the end, I haven’t change from how I was in my childhood. I’m still weak. Really… still weak….”

“Whatever happens, I will always take your side, Shinobu-san…”

—Say, Shinobu-chan, if I were to become as bright as Nazuna-chan, stop crying and become a strong and sexy girl like you said before…would you take me as your bride?

The girl, who said that, became stronger. She didn’t cry in front of me. She became stronger for me. Yet… I unhanded a precious thing once again.

I wasn’t allowed to cry. I had to go on. If I had the time to cry, I should become even stronger instead… After all, I was still weak.

—This was the right thing to do.

My ordinary high school life. While my classmates played around, I trained my body alone and put wounds on it. I continued to do so without halt.

But, in the past and even now, I had some more precious than that. I had made a promise. I promised Luna to protect her from now on.

“…Hey Luna, coming back here— to the human world, how is it? Is it fun?”

“It is fun. Because I can be by your side, Shinobu-san.”

Then, I would become even stronger. To keep the promise I made in my childhood. To let her stay my by side from now on as well.

When I thought of Minami, my chest certainly hurt. I would be lying if I said I had no regrets. But, Luna was besides me. That alone was enough.
Slowly getting away from Luna, I looked up, whereupon the clear blue sky extended in my blurry vision.

In the bus on the way home in the sunset, I talked with Hijiri, who sat besides me, about trivial stuff. Hijiri seemed still depressed, so I had called out to her to cheer her up a bit.

“Nanjou-kun, if you don’t mind, could we switch seats?”

I could see nervousness in Minami’s expression. I knew right away why she wanted to sit next to Hijiri.

Minami’s seat was right next to Hiiragi-sensei, so I called out to her.

“Hmpf.”

“Nanjou-kun, please call me ‘Hiiragi-san’, since we’re strangers now. Also, why don’t you go sit in the foldaway seat?”

To be honest, I considered her to be troublesome, but I opened my mouth to cheer up her mood anyway.

“…Really? Don’t you actually think of me as ‘baby face’, ‘kid’ or ‘shorty’ like the others?”

“I- Is that so? I can’t really tell myself, but thanks, Nanjou-kun. I like you a lot better now. Please friendly call me ‘Akane-sensei’ from now on <3”

After that, I gave Machina, who was soundly sleeping in a nearby seat from her exhaustion, a side-glance for a suitable time, then turned around and checked upon Minami and Hijiri.

…She really, had become stronger.

But from then on I didn’t turn around anymore and just looked forward… I continued to eat the snacks that Hiiragi-sensei offered me.

When the bus reached the school, the clock had turned to eight in the afternoon. I should quickly head over to the middle school and return home with Nazuna--- is what I considered to do, but when I got off the bus, Machina was surrounded by the girls from class and wouldn’t get away from them.

While I pondered what to do, Minami approached me and clung onto my arm with a smile while saying “Nanjou-kun”.

“Just some physical contact between friends. Don’t worry about it, Nanjou-kun.”

“Then it’s physical contact between two people, who are more than friends, but less than lovers.”

“After all, I can’t give up on you, Nanjou-kun. I want to be by your side and get along better. So if you ever change your mind, tell me right away. Then…I’ll give you some service.”

“It might be, that I seek physical contact with you like this from now on to get you to change your mind, but turn a blind eye on it with a smile.”

“Fufu, make sure to take responsibility if anything happens, Shinobu-chan.”

…From now on I didn’t just had to train my body, but also my reasoning too.

“Yo, what were you talking about with Sakura— I mean, with Minami?”

Hijiri replied to my question with a small smile.

Infected by Hijiri, I also smiled and opened my mouth.

“…Eh? It certainly welcome you, but it’s troublesome so suddenly. I still have to mentally prepare myself…”

“I also want to learn from Sougo-san what you learned, Hijiri. I’ll come on a day when Sougo-san has time.”

“…Then I’ll mail you when my father is at home. My father seems busy lately, so it might not be right away, is that fine?”

“Yeah, I think my father will be pleased too.”

“…Uhm, it seems my father is on bad terms with Elni, so I think you better don’t do that.”
While I talked like that with Hijiri, Machina came back. Then we went to pick up Nazuna….closing the curtain on the seaside school.

Chapter end