The Experimental Log of the Crazy Lich Chapter 172

"Albert.Lain."

"Job?"

"Freelancer knight, unaffiliated, but I’ve been hanging out with the Gentlemen Alliance recently. Everyone there treats me kindly, and they call me the Flower-dicing Swordsman of the Three Swordsmen."

I was a bit shocked at the rather open and free-spirited black-haired knight in front of me. I had already prepared myself for any kind of wretched "expert" that the Gentlemen alliance would send me after I contacted them, but what was with this extroverted handsome guy?

He had a squarish face that gave off a heroic spirit. His face was also clean and clear with a hook-shaped nose and bushy eyebrows. His black-colored knight attire gave him an aura of heroic coolness, while his long hair that reached his shoulders didn’t seem feminine at all. I had the mysterious urge to punch in his handsome face, cough cough, I don’t have any personal grievances with him though.

Wasn’t he simply the classic enemy of all men – a mega handsome guy? Why was he a member of the Gentlemen Alliance?

"…Do you know what you’re here for? Was there a mistake with the orders?"

Albert smiled wryly as he shook his head.

"There was no mistake with your message. The moment your message reached us, all my companions came looking for me first, as they believed I was the most suited for the job."

I was even more shocked upon hearing this. Just the maid outside the door who kept peeping in was evidence enough that this mega handsome guy wouldn’t lack women. Rather than him needing to chase after women, it was far more likely that women would chase after him.

"…It’s a long story, talking about the distant past."

Albert lowered his head in a manner that indicated it was humiliating for him to recall it.

"It’s all due to a mistake I made when I was young, back when I was still a child, I had a younger sister, she was my angel, my everything…"

Albert’s story was a common one in this day and age. Both his parents had died young, so he supported his family by himself, with his only living relative, his younger sister, being both his angel and his mental support. But when she was three years old, she was kidnapped by human traffickers.

"And so, I singlehandedly walked the continent in search of her, and I can’t remember my childhood memories anymore. The only special mark on her body is that she has a red birthmark on her waist. That’s why I practiced a highly refined sword style that especially aims for people’s clothing but won’t harm their skin, which is why I’m also known as the Clothes-slicing Swordsman of the Three Swordsmen."

The complex expression on his face showed how pained he was by all this.

I instantly nodded while expressing my sympathy. He was clearly an ordinary person who was misunderstood as a pervert, something I empathized with completely.

"You’ve had it rough. Relax, after you’re done with my affairs, I’ll use my power to help you find your younger sister."

"Really? Thanks so much then, I really want to hurry up and carry out your mission now, please give me the specifics, and I’ll begin immediately!"

Albert was so excited that he stood up immediately and bowed to me. I was also joyed, since this was much better than I expected. There was actually someone normal in the Gentlemen Alliance? It seemed like that Gentlemen Aura wasn’t too difficult to deal with, so I was filled with anticipation at the upcoming magnificent future.

"Hm, she’s probably about 14 to 18 years old today, with blonde hair… no, hair color can be changed with dye, so don’t let any girls of this age group slip under your radar, and since she might be disguised as a boy, don’t let any cute boys past either!"

"My lord, rest assured, I’m an expert! Not a single female can escape my eyes or my sword!"

His rapier sliced an arc through midair with the killing intent in his eyes appearing and disappearing instantly. This moment, I discovered that the person in front of me was actually a top-level fighter halfway to a legend’s level.

I immediately became overjoyed now, was I actually getting lucky? Not only was he a normal person who had morals and common sense, he was also a top-level fighter?

"So reliable!! Too reliable! …"

"Brother, I bought a Beast Fang sword pommel for you, you’ll definitely love it!"

A lively girl suddenly opened the door and jumped inside.

Wait, what did she call him? Brother? Since she obviously wasn’t addressing me, she could only be calling out to Albert, but wasn’t his younger sister still missing?

Right then and there, my smile froze solid. Thanks to my many years of experience in being fooled, I was already beginning to detect what would happen after.

"Lina? Why are you here? Weren’t you supposed to be at the mercenary headquarters?"

Albert obviously seemed surprised to see the ponytailed girl here.

"Big brother Beifeng told me to follow you here, since he said he didn’t know what you would get up to if I wasn’t around. He’s such a good person, he was worried that Brother wouldn’t be able to finish the mission, so he had many companions come over together to help. Brother, what’s this really important mission? That even you had to come here for."

Ok, why was I fooling myself, I should have guessed long ago that the Gentlemen Alliance wouldn’t have a single normal person, but he actually managed to fool me by acting all sincere, which meant he was skilled in his own way.

"Brat, how brave of you…"

"No, no, Milord, listen to me explain, everything I just said was the truth! I really was searching for my sister all this time, which was why I received my nickname."

Suddenly, the black-haired girl interrupted him angrily.

"Brother! Did you slice off some girl’s clothes again!? There’s already so many girls waiting for you at home, yet you’re still doing such things. Forget about the reason why you began doing such things; even though you found me three years ago already, you’re still using the excuse about my story to pick up girls, so how am I supposed to face everyone? I’m the younger sister of the Clothes-slicing Playboy? That’s so humiliating, how am I supposed to get married?"

Playboy? Many girls waiting at home? Pick up girls? Every term I heard caused my eyebrows to twitch, but as a veteran of the FFF group, I knew what I should do.

"Young lady, I’m currently having a serious discussion with your brother, so would you mind waiting outside for us? Oh right, please close the door for us as well."

That girl nodded energetically as she seemed to understand I was an important personage.

"Okay, Brother, I’ll be waiting outside for you."

What a nice sister she was, so understanding. Compared to my completely lawless younger brother, as well as all those rebellious kids at home, I was almost about to cry! Thinking about how I’ve been single for more than three hundred years already, while he had a harem when he was only in his twenties, plus the fact that he was still hunting for more girls to add to his harem, it truly made me want to cry.

"My finger is currently burning up with power, you winner in life that deserves to die, harem-collecting man, taste my Personality Fixing Heaven Crushing Fist! Take this!"

"Milord, listen to me explain! It definitely isn’t what you think it is!"

Explain? Yes, of course I’d listen to him, but only after an enjoyable beating did I finally stop hitting him and allow him to explain.

"Pfft, your greed knows no bounds, scum!"

"Wahh, it’s not like that, I don’t want to either, truly."

It seemed that my condescension touched a weak spot in him, and he actually started crying. Such a manly-seeming young fellow began crying like he was still a child.

Well, his painful sobs sounded real this time, so I temporarily held back my desire to rub salt into his wounds.

"I don’t want to either, it’s just that I got so used to shredding the clothes of women in that age group that I’ll keep doing it instinctually. And, all I’m doing is looking at their waists for birthmarks, why do I have to take responsibility for all of them? Harem? Have you seen harem members with hippopotamus bodies and monkey faces? All those that want me to take responsibility have such appearances. Even the few good-looking girls that wanted to be with me were chased away by them."

"How luxurious your worries are; are you bragging to someone who’s been eternally single (and a virgin)?"

"No, no, milord, you don’t know at all, the moment I leave, they’ll be fighting with each other either openly or secretly, it’s so chaotic, they’ll use any underhanded plots or techniques. Last month, I was poisoned by my food five times in a row, I kept finding poisonous needles in my shoes, and glue all the time in my clothes, I can’t take it anymore! Women are so scary! I’m already at the point where I begin shivering every time I see a woman! If I think about them, it scares me out of my mind!"

He actually did begin shivering as he said so with his teeth chattering as if he had gotten rabies. Judging by his sudden drop in body temperature and pale white face, he was actually telling the truth.

"You have androphobia? You’re a harem character with androphobia? That sounds like a cliché manga setting."

Fine then, since Albert was currently at the extent of foaming at his mouth, I finally had some sympathy for the young brat.

"Two people come here and help to call for a priest."

But the moment I opened the door, some familiar faces came in.

"Boss, Brother Beifeng asked us to come over and help out."

Those that entered were all familiar faces from the Gentlemen Alliance: Beyar, Jinya, Casio, and… wait, why was Xueti here as well, just casually coming over here, you’re supposed to be the highest-level priest.

"Lily is here."

The question I showed in my eyes received the answer I was waiting for. I understood immediately. With the Undead’s announcement and as a member of the Blood Tribe, of course Lily could become more active in the East Mist Communal Country. And if Lily who was so skilled at internal logistics took over all the work, this dumb ox would indeed become rather idle and have the free time to just do things as he pleased.

"That guy Beifeng was actually being quite considerate, where is he? Did he not come?"

"No, he came."

Beyar nodded but his smile was rather vulgar as he made a gesture with his hands that any man would understand.

"He saw a huge lion’s head, so he went off first by himself, and asked us to report in to you."

I instantly understood, but this wasn’t exactly a good thing!

"A huge lion’s head? What the hell, that guy’s trying to kill himself!"

Simultaneously, a sky-splitting roar came from outside the window.

"Unbelievable! There’s actually such a twisted soul in this world! And it even dares to set its sights on me, take my soul-correcting kick!"

Fine, that person outside the window on the clouds happened to be the vice-captain of a certain Gentlemen Alliance. From a certain angle, he really was unbeatable, as that lion’s head was more than two thousand years old, and even I wouldn’t dare to provoke it.

"Ah, it’s big bro."

Apart from Casio’s sounds of panicking, everyone else in the room seemed calm about it all.

"Relax, the good die young while calamities can live for thousands of years, so it’s quite a simple matter for Beifeng to live for millions of years."

Everyone nodded at this remark.

"I always feel like even if the entire world was destroyed, he’d still be fine."

The uniquely low and thick voice belonging to that man who descended from the sky right after only proved the truth of that statement.

"Ah, I almost died… Don’t be embarrassed, let’s chat a bit…"

"My sharp sword can slice through anything!"

With cool words and a shining trail through the air, the invisible wind emanating from his sword turned into a cold wind that passed by.

"Clang!"

As the handsome swordsman stood up straight with a steely face and returned his longsword to its scabbard, that’s when the swishing sounds of clothes ripping and falling to the ground finally happened.

"Ahhh, there’s a pervert!"

This was the moment with that noble daughter finally discovered that her clothes were completely shredded, while Albert merely scanned her over quickly but only chuckled coldly before continuing onwards by herself.

"Hmph, I cut something useless again!"

Right then and there, that girl went into a crying fit at the incomprehensible act that had just occurred, and her guards hadn’t even had a chance to take action yet.

Another tall figure suddenly appeared beside the girl as he covered her with his cape.

"…We’re currently in the midst of pursuing the criminal who intentionally shreds girls’ clothes, but we don’t know where he’s escaped to."

From a certain viewpoint, it could be said that Clint who was wearing heavy armor indeed seemed rather dignified, and as for him being the one who gets to act like a good individual, it’s doubtlessly because he’s also a human, so he wouldn’t attract too much attention.

"Progress is too slow."

On the platform to the side, I was unsatisfied with our current rate of progress. This morning we’ve only managed to check 40-ish girls, how long would it take to finish at this rate?

"…This is already pretty quick. Fortunately for us, the Lantern of Life’s reaction narrowed down our targets for us, we only need to check those that recently returned to the Northlands in the past three or four months, otherwise this really would take forever."

The Lantern of Life’s functions were limited. It discovered a reaction a bit over three months ago, which only told us that Princess Glina returned to the Northlands at that time, but as for her specific location? If it was capable of following even her specific location, how would the royalty ever have any privacy?

Its area was so wide, if only it was more exact, Kelly would have discovered me much sooner as well, at the very most it was only evidence whether or not a royalty member was authentic as well as still living.

"Milord, how about making everyone in this city naked?"

"…It’s winter right now, people will freeze to death, besides, how will we possibly deal with the aftermath?"

I felt helpless about dealing with Albert who was currently wielding his sword eagerly at a distance from me. Why was this androphobic swordsman so enchanted with clothes-slicing swordsmanship?

"It must be hard for him, since he has androphobia."

"Heeheehee, hahaha."

Just as I stated that, everyone around me started guffawing as if I had said something wrong.

"Is his androphobia just an act as well? This brat’s acting skills are really that amazing?"

"No, he’s not acting about this, but, take a look, the way his expression changes after slicing some girl’s clothes."

I focused on Albert, who sheathed his sword as he stated he sliced something useless again, but there seemed to be a sliver of joy in his mouth, and his expression was filled with delight, as if he was enjoying the process.

"He’s… enjoying this?"

"Yes, he does fear women to the point of death, and any woman touching him will cause him to scream, but precisely because of this, he especially enjoys the screams of women, which is why he’s unable to stop himself from acting as the ‘Clothes-slicing Demon,’ doubtlessly because this is the greatest joy in his life."

"Sigh, for such a young man to turn out like this, with his sword techniques, what a pity."

"That’s not quite so, Adam said before that Albert’s typical sword techniques are only ordinary, only when Albert’s in the midst of slicing clothes will he be at the level approaching that of a Sword Saint’s."

I was momentarily stunned at hearing this. Sword Saints are extremely rare, and require both incredible talent and an extended period of time to polish their skills. They definitely have the ability to take on intense challenges.

But analyzing things more closely, I found that this didn’t seem right.

"After his unsheathing slice, he’ll slice 100 times before returning his sword to scabbard, normally he’ll emit zero killing intent, but when he unsheathes his sword, his sword energy is so imposing that it can kill people formlessly, how is this approaching that of a Sword Saint’s level, he’s clearly already at a Sword Saint’s level, this guy is actually a Sword Saint!?"

"No, he can only reach that level when his target is a woman that he’s slicing the clothes off of, which is why Adam said he’s only approaching the level of a Sword Saint."

"As expected, there’s not a single normal person in the Gentlemen Alliance. Are the other two members of the Three Swordsmen similar to him?"

"Three Swordsmen? That’s what they call themselves, everyone calls them the Three Vulgar Swordsmen."

I shook my head while feeling rather helpless, but at this moment, someone spoke up from behind me.

"I found the Princess’s milkmaid from her younger days, there’s new information!"

Chapter end