Osananajimi ga Zettai ni Makenai Love Comedy Volume 1 Chapter 4 part2

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Our first love revenge was complete Part 2

The "Confession Festival" functioned as the end of the cultural festival - a part of the program for the closing ceremony. For that reason it was a certainty that the entire school would be there to watch it.

Participants were to assemble at least half an hour before the closing ceremony in the student council room.

There was no need to apply. Anyone could take part, planned or otherwise.

The windows of the student council room were obscured by black curtains during the cultural festival, allowing people to enter without others knowing.

It was a common pattern in years past for someone to remark "Huh, where'd he go to?" during the closing ceremony, only to find out that the person in question had secretly joined the Confession Festival.

Candidates wrote down their names and classes in the student council room, to submit to an MC appointed by the student council to read off.

Beyond that there was a remarks column for people to enter what they intended to do. The student council members who ran the "Confession Festival" would try their best to authorise what was written there. Nominally each person had a time limit of five minutes, and anything that they could do within that time was basically fair game.

Still-

"I really don't have anything to do until then though…"

"Ooh, so you're free then, Haru…"

As I stood by the window gazing outside, Kuroha, who was wearing a mini kimono, muttered while the vein on her temple bulged.

"You can't see the five orders that just came in…?"

"Sorry I'll get to work immediately."

I began grinding coffee beans in a panic.

My class, 2-B had decided to set up a "Japanese cafe".

Establishments which derived their popularity from having female frontmen were common, as evidenced by the cosplay and maid cafes of years past. Yet it was not rare either to have an ugly battle of the sexes over doing such an item, which in the end saw the guys lose in an extremely painful fashion.

Thus the boys in my class had marshalled our collective wisdom and suggested doing a "Japanese cafe".

The Japanese theme did not push for the girls to cosplay. The girls were also agreeable after gathering and having their own discussions, knowing that the boys would also for example wear jinbei¹ or kinagashi² in proper Japanese clothing. The decision was made with unusually absent opposition.

Unfortunately, the class representative for trash, Kai Tetsuhiko, and his fellow male scum had clamoured for more.

As a result the girls' outfits had been secretly standardised into mini kimonos, awaiting today's crucial moment to arrive.

How I wished you could have seen them. Those dazzlingly radiant thighs.

You wouldn't be able to see those with a maid outfit. I mean, wouldn't the long skirt basically hide them? The ordered kimonos were masterpieces that stopped more than ten centimetres above the knees. In terms of exposure it was a clear victory for the mini kimono. It was also a victory for us boys, and meant brisk business for the cafe.

"Shidsan! Please let me take a picture!"

"Sorry∼. Photo-taking is strictly against the rules. It was originally supposed to be alright, but… the boys went a bit crazy with the dress selection so…"

"Eek!"

The guest who had asked for the photo let out a small squeal. If I wasn't mistaken he was in the tennis club and from the class next door… I see, so he hadn't known how scary Kuroha could be. This had probably served as a good lesson.

"That's not fair! We said no, but Maru said to do it so…"

"Exactly! I tried to stop him, but Maru just pushed his own way through-"

The guys in charge of preparing drinks standing on either side of me nodded in unison.

With both my hands I proceeded to strangle each of their necks.

"Huh? How did it become only my fault that it happened? Y'all better not try and shirk responsibility, you hear?"

Both their brows furrowed before they knocked away my arms and pressed their glaring faces against mine, almost headbutting me in the process.

"Huh? You moron, you've already forgotten?"

"Who was it who kept skipping preparation because he had other things to do, huh?!"

"That's why we pushed all the responsibility onto you! Well, I suppose it was thanks to you coming on board that our class' ace Shidsan said it couldn't be helped and we should think positively about it, so everything turned out alright."

"If Shidsan hadn't persuaded the other girls, almost all of them would've sat out! You better be bloody grateful!"

"Exactly! You better play your own part at least, dumbass!"

Th- These guys were utter trash… How could they just decide to make my things my fault because I wasn't around…?!

But well, at least I now knew. Success had been achieved only in connection to Kuroha forgiving my crime. Kuroha's sociability and popularity were undeniable.

Thus to an extent I felt compelled to shoulder the blame, but-

"But I really only remember saying I would 'take my own share of the blame', you know."

"What are you talking about, dumbass? Kai said he got your proper acknowledgement."

"… Okay, now I know who to kill."

Tetsuhikooooo! That guy was truly a piece of shit…!

"Alright, where's Trashiko?!"

"He's in the second group, so obviously he wouldn't be around."

The class was split into groups numbered one to three, each on duty for a two-hour period.

I was in the first group in charge from 10 to 12 o'clock. So was Kuroha. It appeared that Tetsuhiko had been allocated to the second.

And furthermore, Shirokusa - ooh… had been put in the third.

… Well the plot didn't have any lines for me to say, and while I had talked a couple of times to Shirokusa since receiving it from her, it's not like we had any particularly meaningful conversations, you know? I mean, we were classmates, weren't we? Should I just come down and have a little peek for the hell of it?

"Come on, Haru! Hurry up and move those hands!"

"Yeah, yeah!"

Kuroha's order set everyone in motion. From the back of the counter I looked on as Kuroha served customers.

Watching every sharp movement tousle her braided medium-length hair conveyed to me the pleasant exuberance of a hard worker. The pink kimono she wore fit the small-animal-like Kuroha extremely well, and in terms of cuteness she far exceeded the other girls. Naturally she was also the one sought after by guests the most.

My childhood friend's specs were absurdly high. They were at a level where I probably would have felt too in awe to even talk to her had she not been my childhood friend.

"Here you go, Kuro. Three coffees."

"Okay."

Kuroha came over to the counter to collect them.

And when she did the 148-centimetre tall Kuroha tiptoed in order to get closer to my ear.

"So, what do you think? Do I look good?"

She grinned with all her teeth as if to laugh cheekily.

I replied while turning my face away.

"If I'm being honest… you look really cute."

"Oh, mm… it's kind of embarrassing to hear you say it so bluntly…"

Shit, she really is too damn cute.

But of course I had rejected her, and then even got her to pretend to date me - crap, a sensation of guilt naturally welled up within me.

But that remorse ended today. Our ambiguous relationship had also almost run its course.

"Mru-ku-n! Just because you all are dating doesn't mean you're allowed to flirt in class, okay!"

"Guiltyyyyy! You are guiltyyyyy!"

"You shameless dog! Our org is gonna beat you up!"

I found myself being surrounded and taken away by several male students while Kuroha was away serving guests.

Seriously. Our class really did have too many fanatics, huh?

At some point after constantly running, negotiating and counterattacking, two hours passed and the first group's shift ended.

"Yo, good work."

Tetsuhiko, who had arrived to swap places with me, raised his arm in greeting.

"Hurry up and strip, man. I'm wearing that kinagashi next."

I gave him my iron claw.

"Look, man… I'm gonna have to talk to you about how choosing the girls' clothes ended up being completely my fault…"

"Forget that and take a look outside. Someone's here to see you."

"Heh?"

Tetsuhiko's thumb pointed towards the bicycle parking area.

Our class 2-B was on the second floor, with an unbroken view of the bicycle parking area directly below the windows.

Over there stood a boy wearing a cap tightly over his head. His face was partially obscured, but I could tell that his features were well arranged. He was a handsome guy, like the princely Abe or the frivolous Tetsuhiko, but in a different way. He was probably best described as an androgynously beautiful man.

I wondered who that was. But then I recognised that look, which was like that of an abandoned puppy, from somewhere before.

The boy and I locked eyes, and he began phoning someone with them still trained on me.

My phone rang. What, did Tetsuhiko give him my number without my permission?

With some displeasure I picked up the call from the unknown number.

"Hi, just who are you?"

"It's been awhile… Suu-chan."

I hadn't been called that for years. My brain had to do several loops to piece together my jumbled memories before I finally found the right name to answer with.

"Are you… Shirou?"

Shirou immediately grinned like a loyal dog.

"… That's right. You remembered, Suu-chan. I'm glad."

He was a self-proclaimed fan of mine while I was working as a child actor, the son of a sponsor. He was also someone I had played and got along well with in the past, a person to whom I had promised to act sometime in a story he wrote - a dearly-missed friend.

We had finally met again after six years.

"It can't be…"

The colour of Kuroha's face changed.

"Haru, w"

"Oops, I'm gonna have to ask you to hold it right there, Shidsan."

Tetsuhiko grabbed Kuroha's outstretched arm.

"Why not let's just watch for a minute? I'm kind of interested to see how this'll go down."

"Tetsuhiko-kun… Just how much have you…"

Completely unaware of the above exchange, my voice was overwhelmed with delight for our reunion.

"Yes, it really has been a while! How've you been?! Since you're here, why not come on up?! We've got a Japanese cafe set up here, and all the guys are losers, but I'm telling you, the girls' clothes are to die for, you know?"

"Oh, no, I'm not so good with crowds so… if possible I'd like to talk to you somewhere a little less conspicuous…"

Come to think of it, Shirou did use to be a shut-in. I didn't know if he had managed to break away from that lifestyle, but as an androgynously handsome man it would be pretty easy for him to draw attention. It had probably been unwise for me to have asked him to come up.

"… My bad. I didn't realise. In that case you should keep walking straight into the school building and head up to the highest floor. The roof is above the third and it's been closed up, so I don't think there'll be anyone there."

"Okay, got it."

The call ended.

Charged with excitement over meeting a friend again, I hurriedly got changed and handed the clothes I got out of over to Tetsuhiko.

"Here ya go. By the way Tetsuhiko, please don't just go handing out my number to everyone who asks for it. It was fine this time cuz he turned out to be my childhood friend, but what am I supposed to do if some weird dude gets it?"

"Well, I didn't give your number to him."

"Hm?"

What was he talking about? Was there some sort of trick involved? Did Tetsuhiko not hand it to Shirou directly, instead passing it through an intermediary?

Either way, it didn't matter. What was more important was not making Shirou wait in a place he wasn't familiar with.

I left the classroom, climbing the stairs that would bring me towards the roof. The roof itself had been sealed off, while the space in front of the door leading out onto it had been turned into a storage area. Probably the only people who could show up were student council members fetching tables stored here for an event.

I waited and Shirou came up the stairs.

"Ooh, so you are Shirou after all."

I couldn't see his face clearly in the darkness inside the entrance to the roof, but his appearance and demeanour coincided with my memory.

Shirou stopped and stood where the stairs doubled back, whispering with his eyes still hidden beneath his cap.

"It's been a long time, Suu-chan."

…Huh? Had Shirou always been this delicate?

Despite his rugged-looking parka and trousers, I could see that his wrists and ankles looked extremely elegant along with his thin neck.

Perturbed, I began descending the stairs to get closer, but I was interrupted by Shirou saying "Suu-chan, stop."

"What's wrong?"

"… Well, I'm just a little nervous because I haven't seen you in so long, so let's just stay at this distance."

He was a person who said some really strange things. Perhaps he still lived as a recluse?

Ah well. Everyone had their own issues. Besides if we were just talking this distance was good enough.

"Anyway Shirou, you really made it all the way here. Thanks. I'm really happy you did."

"Ah…"

Shirou's expression seemed to brighten after hearing those words.

"… Mm, I hoped you would say that. I was afraid that if you had forgotten me, I'd be treated like a nuisance."

"Oh no, of course I wouldn't do that."

"But Suu-chan, you stopped acting, and stopped coming to see me… so I wondered if maybe you had forgotten about me or just didn't like me anymore."

"Ooh∼…"

I rapped myself sharply on the forehead.

"That was my bad. It wasn't like I hated or forgot about you or anything."

"Then… why?"

I briefly told him about the accident my mother had died in.

"So because of that we somehow managed to finish filming the drama, but after that I couldn't act anymore. It was because you said you were my fan, you know? I just, you know, felt bad, felt that I couldn't look you in the eye. Your dad was a sponsor, so I thought he would've offered to give me a lift to and from your house if I decided to go, making it hard for me to… but maybe that's just an excuse. We promised each other that you'd write a story, and I'd act in it too, but- … Eh-?"

Shirou was crying.

Perhaps he himself did not realise it. His eyes were wide open, looking at me as large tears rolled from them.

"You remembered our promise…"

"Heh…?"

What he had said was too soft for me to hear, and when I inadvertently spoke Shirou hurriedly rubbed away his tears with his sleeves.

Thinking that I had said something in poor taste, I changed the subject.

"Err, oh right! How've you been doing since then? Been going to school?"

Shirou carefully dried his tears with a handkerchief before replying with his head hanging a little.

"… Yes. I couldn't see you anymore, Suu-chan, so I went back for a bit."

"You didn't get bullied?"

"I did."

"F- For real?! Were you alright?!"

"Yes, I was. I didn't lose anymore. Because I'd decided to become stronger before the next time I saw you, Suu-chan."

It was a little hard for me to believe that I had managed to influence him that way. It appeared that my past self had been a different, far more amazing person than the mediocre guy I was now.

"Why, that's great! That's great news!"

"I thought I should eliminate my flaws so I wouldn't get bullied. So I studied, and then tried hard to get better at sports even though I wasn't any good at them… and in the end I still couldn't figure them out. But I put more effort into writing stories than anything else. To reach your level, Suu-chan, I kept working and working… until last year, my hard work was finally acknowledged."

"Acknowledged…? You mean you made your writing debut, or…?"

Shirou quietly concealed his eyes.

"… Yes, well, something like that."

"That's amazing! What's the title of the book?"

"……"

Shirou remained silent, his eyes still hidden. He seemed to hesitate, stopping himself from talking just as he was about to, and this pattern repeated twice before he finally made a sound.

"I've been chasing you all this time, Suu-chan."

"… Ah, yeah."

"All this time, I've wanted nothing more than for you to acknowledge me, Suu-chan."

"… O- Oh."

"I tried… and tried… studied… trained… researched how I could become prettier…"

"… Huh? Pre… ttier…?"

I was sure Shirou was glaring at me in the instant his head shot upwards, before he forcefully gripped his cap.

Beautiful, long black hair danced in midair.

… How could I not have realised?

When I thought back upon it now, the traces were there. Their auras had also been similar.

Shirou had been fainthearted. But there indeed had been times where he had pretended to be tough and projected an aura to keep others away.

Yes, the aura Shirou had given off whenever he was putting on a brave front - was exactly the same as Kachi Shirokusa's.

"Err, Shirou… Huh!? Kachi…?!"

"That's right. I'm 'Shirou'. That's what you ended up mistakenly calling me after you misheard my father calling me 'Shiro', Suu-chan. The 'Shiro' in 'Shirou' is the 'Shiro' in 'Shirokusa'. I've wanted to see you for so long, Suu-chan. …Though the truth is, we've already met."

My mind went blank.

I was truly an idiot. To have mistaken a girl for a boy. Especially when that girl had been Shirokusa.

"I won the Akutami award… Suu-chan. I've written… a story worthy enough for you to act in. So, have I become pretty now? I tried my hardest because of the frustration I felt from being seen as a boy, and also because I wanted you to acknowledge me, Suu-chan. I even have gravure photos taken of me now. Did you know that?"

"O- Of course I do…"

Her every word pierced through my chest.

Individual words they might have been - but within each lay accumulated an enormous amount of hard work, mixed with the smell of sweat from across years of single-minded drilling.

"I went to the same school as you did, Suu-chan, because I wanted you to praise me. But-"

I had no recollection of such an incident happening. But Shirokusa probably did.

Kuroha and I laughing as we walked home together from school. Shirokusa standing in the open waiting to be noticed - only for me to pass her by.

Yes, such a scene had probably occurred.

"-I wasn't happy at all."

In my incredible guilt I unconsciously dipped my head.

"Sorry… I didn't realise at all…"

"… No, it's fine."

Wiping her tear-stained cheeks, Shirokusa smiled a little.

"There was no way it could have been helped. You quitting your career as a child actor, not realising who I was - I now know none of it could have been avoided, Suu-chan. I wouldn't regret doing something as long as I tried my best, even if I failed because I was unlucky. I was angry at God for being so indifferent, but I've since forgiven Him. Because our promise - you remembered it."

Shirokusa's smile had a little more bashfulness on top of Shirou's.

I found it - extraordinarily adorable and beautiful.

Badump, badump went the pounding of my heart as it intensified. My heart, which had once given up and become consumed by the embers of revenge, had now been set alight by a different kind of fire.

The heart was not something that could be controlled even if the mind thought otherwise. For the heart had never operated on reason in the first place.

"So, Suu-chan. Is it alright if I still call you 'Suu-chan' from now on?"

"Heh?"

"I've been stubbornly calling you 'Maru-kun' since you didn't seem like you remembered me, Suu-chan, but I think to me you'll still always be 'Suu-chan'."

"Oh, ooh, of course."

It was honestly quite embarrassing so be addressed so informally by an icy beauty as Shirokusa was sometimes called.

"But as for me, I'd like you to stop calling me Shirou. Now that you know I'm a girl."

"But of course. What should I call you then?"

"-Shiro."

Shirokusa's reply was immediate.

"I've found it an earsore hearing you call Shidsan 'Kuro' for the longest time."

"Eh?"

I felt like I had just heard something incredibly terrifying…

"If she's 'Kuro', then you should be fine calling me 'Shiro' as well. That's what I thought at least, so maybe that's why I want you to call me 'Shiro'."

"Oh, ooh… alright! From now on I'll be calling you 'Shiro' then!"

"Yes, please do, Suu-chan."

Wow, she's so cute.

But at the same time I felt like I had just seen a scary side of hers. More importantly, if I called the Shirokusa whom everyone feared 'Shiro'… what would become of me then?

"But you know, Kachi…"

"Shiro."

The name I had used without thinking received an immediate rebuke.

But it was not scary at all. In fact it was adorable. Shirokusa puffed out her cheeks, showing her displeasure conspicuously.

She had always sold herself as a cool beauty, so what had brought on the difference here?

Could it not be that Shirokusa was actually incredibly affectionate to people she considered herself close to?

-I thought I should eliminate my flaws so I wouldn't get bullied.

Ooh, now I understood. Shirokusa's faintheartedness made her a target for bullying. For that reason, to hide away her flaws, she had been steeled herself for the longest time. To avoid showing weakness her expression never changed, and she projected a dignified, self-assured aura.

In order to deal with the unpleasant classmate who had asked her to show her notes, for example, Shirokusa had taken actions one could have called excessive. They were an act of fierce resistance by someone who had in the past experienced bullying and stopped going to school, and as a result no longer wanted to lose. Now knowing that Shirou and Shirokusa were the same person, the above was easy to accept.

"Sorry, I should've said 'Shiro'."

"Yes, that's good enough. That's how I want to be called."

Shirokusa was near. I felt like we had gotten closer not physically perhaps, but emotionally.

Shirokusa had kept the fact that she had been Shirou hidden for a long time. Since that secret had come to light, perhaps she could now be honest with me. However-

"Why, though?"

"Hm?"

Shirokusa tilted her head to one side.

"Well, you've known about me all this time without revealing yourself, right, Shiro? So why now then? I mean of course I'm happy, but I just don't understand why you've chosen this particular timing to do it."

"… Yes, I guess I could imagine how you would see things that way, Suu-chan."

Shirokusa made as if to fold her arms, yet stiffened halfway before dropping her hands to her sides. It appeared that in order to cross-dress as a male, she had been forced to tightly bind her chest.

Shirokusa had originally been well-endowed. Her parka hid the bulge, but compressing it to that extent must have been quite the challenge. Despite her best efforts looking closely I could still make out a bump, and I just kind of knew lying there was something horribly erotic.

Shirokusa's cheeks dyed scarlet and she turned her back to me.

"If I'm being honest… I was really quite angry."

"You mean because I didn't realise you were Shirou, Shiro?"

"Yes."

"Well, that's to be expected I suppose…"

Shirokusa continued talking with her face still hidden and her back turned towards me.

"I hadn't yet heard about your mother back then, you see. Why couldn't you see who I was?! You idiot! Do you want me to stick needles underneath your fingernails?!… Those were some of the things I thought."

"Okay, hold up just a minute. That last part was way too scary."

That was an actual torture method, right?! That was the Shirokusa who hated guys who had appeared for an instant!

"But then you read my novel, and made me really happy when you gave such high praise to it, and then there were also times when I would get mad and feel like you were such a loser for not coming to speak to me in class, making me regularly think about eliminating you…"

"I'm gonna feel depressed if you call me a loser so casually, you know?! Also seriously please don't kill me!"

"… But I couldn't restrain myself after hearing you were going to act again in this year's cultural festival. I was so excited that day I ended up finishing the plot before the next."

Shirokusa glanced to see how I was reacting for a moment, before hiding her face again as soon as her gaze met mine.

With the remnants of Shirou superimposed onto her, Shirokusa all of a sudden looked quite like a dog. As Shirou she had resembled an abandoned puppy more closely, but with the passage of time perhaps a bit of wolf had been mixed in, giving her an aura of pride. She projected the image of a proud dog who took to no one aside from her master.

For how much of a loyal dog was she, to be excited enough to finish writing the plot in one day simply after hearing I was going to act? It was completely as if her tail was wagging vigorously from side to side in an incredibly adorable fashion.

"It was afterwards when I heard about why you stopped being a child actor, wasn't it? I did some reflection after that. About how it had been wrong for me to assume you were a cold person, Suu-chan. I realised that it had all been unavoidable, and if and when the chance arose I thought I should tell you everything."

"So that was… today, huh?"

"Yes. I thought you wouldn't be persuaded unless I showed up cross-dressed as Shirou like this… but more importantly, today I was told you had finally come back to life, Suu-chan."

Anxiety raced within me. I felt the glitter and pressure of the stage all the way up to my fingertips, and my entire body tingled.

"How much are you planning to stick to the plot I wrote? I believe the only thing you said was that you were going to use it as reference."

"That's… a secret."

Shirokusa spun around. Then staring squarely at me, she asked.

"Then let me ask you just one thing. Who - are you doing this for?"

Shirokusa implored me with her eyes. I couldn't figure out what meaning they held, only that they were meaningfully watching me.

"You're dating Abe-senpai, right?"

"And?"

Shirokusa scowled, expressing her anger.

"So what if I were?"

"-Just look forward to what's coming."

At my indefatigable smile Shirokusa appeared to respond with moderate surprise.

"It's your plot combined with my acting. I'm going to cause as much chaos as I can."

No sooner had I said that when Shirokusa looked up to the ceiling, perhaps out of exasperation, whispering "I've wanted to hear those words for a long time," as she smiled.

¹ Informal Japanese summer clothes for men comprising a short jacket and trousers

² Wearing a kimono without the outer jacket

Chapter end