Omae o Otaku ni Shiteyaru kara, Ore o Riajuu ni Shitekure! Volume 3 Chapter 1-6 + afterword

Chapter 1

“Sempai, you have exchanged emails with Mai-chan at the party yesterday, right? Did you mail her after that?”

August started today, and temperature increased drastically. I, Kashiwada Naoki, with my eyes similar to that of a dead fish, bothered by the sweet voice of a woman in the kitchen behind me. Yes, I’m at work, on the front.

“Well, we have not exchanged our addresses, to say more precise, I gave her my address, but she didn’t write me anything.”

“Oh, are you serious? Well, I thought you were so nice to each other.”

Of course, girls from work would not talk to me. I’m just hearing her conversation with that creepy Kato-sempai. Despite today is a weekday and now is summer vacations, customers are few, so they can chat like this.

I’m just serving rare customers, and warn them that they have five minutes left. I’m silently listening to the chat between the creepy-flashy Kato and so-called workplace idol woman. They sure have their spare time, talking all this time in the kitchen. It’s not like they are skipping their job: once an order came, they do drinks and meals and carry to customers.

By the way, they planned to go to a barbecue yesterday, but rain interrupted their plans, and they did a drinking party instead. I was right to skip it. If I had been there, I would just listen to other’s trivial chats without saying a word, and I wouldn’t have befriended with anybody. I have been listening to their conversation in the kitchen for a while, and I finished my shift at 2 PM.

Once the job was over, I took out my phone. Koigasaki didn’t write to me today as well. Nobody is around, so I can make a deep sigh. Since the ‘gratitude call’ two days ago, we didn’t exchange by a single email.

Why I behaved as a mad? I don’t understand myself. I don’t like this awkward situation, yet I don’t want to contact her at all. I guess, I’ll look for previous emails. I have no received emails today, and yesterday I had a single spam message. Before that, there were four messages from Sakurai Azuki dated July 30, the day of the cosplay event. I want to read them again.

That day, Sakurai-san send me an email for the first time, and I was surprised how cheerful it was. I thought she disliked me, and I don’t know why she became so cheerful all of sudden. The first mail.

[Thank you for yesterday! I appreciate your help. Let’s do a cosplay by three of us next time! (smile)

P.S. Kashiwada-kun, are you in love with Momo-chan?]

When I had read this mail for the first time, I wasn’t sure that to do, read it again and again, and ended up replying:

[Thank you for today! You helped us a lot!

Eh… A cosplay? I don’t mind if you’re fine with me! (smile)

Am I in love with Koigasaki? Why do you think so? (smile) Not at all. (smile) ]

I polished own text to be nice to Sakurai-san, however after I sent it, I started to think that her invitations were but pleasantry, and what if this email is her joke? And I’ve replied with in earnest… She might be laughing reading my reply. And I was sad for a while, before she sent me another email.

[Seriously? You have promised! (smile) You are not in love with Momo-chan, you say? You helped her so much I was sure you love her. (laugh)]

I’ve promised? What did she mean? A cosplay? So she really wanted someone like me to do a cosplay? But why?.. Also, why she’d think I’m in love with Koigasaki? Besides, why is she so concerned by this? I could not understand a thing.

[No-no-no! There were other deep reasons for me to help her. There is no way I’d love her. (laugh) Further to say, we’re a small quarrel now (sweat) ]

[Really?? Deep reasons, means it would be uncomfortable for me to ask? (laugh) And what about the quarrel, I thought you were friendly! What happened? ]

Well, I did tell her about the quarrel, but I’m troubled if you’d ask a reason. I don’t know can I tell her about Suzuki, and, of course, I can’t explain why I got mad. Even to myself.

[It’s nothing serious, I’m not sure I can call it a quarrel. (smile) ]

After that, I couldn’t resist my fatigue and fell asleep. Next morning, I read an email from her.

[I see! I’m worried! (sweat) I wish you reconcile faster! Oh, it’s about twelve o’clock now! (sweat) I’m sorry to keep you late! Good night! ]

I quickly typed her [Morning! I’m sorry I fell asleep yesterday], but then I remembered something and stopped.

I had heard a talk among two girls on work.

“Do you remember that guy who was with me from that matching party? On the evening, I sent him [Okay, good night then (star)] meaning to end that conversation, and the next morning I received [Good morning!] from him along with the yesterday’s conversation. Why don’t you read between the lines? I ended the conversation. It so annoyed me.”

It seems girls are annoyed by “Good morning” along with a yesterday’s conversation. Therefore, Sakurai-san may be annoyed if I’d send her an email now. That’s not good. After struggling a while, I removed my message. On that, our letters ended by seven emails.

I got onto the train to home and noticed that there is no email from Koigasaki as of yet. What kind of man am I to worry about this?

The next day was a day before when I should go to Odaiba with Hasegawa. Of course, no emails from Koigasaki had come. Also, I had no conversation with Hasegawa since that time.

I guess, it would be good to send “Looking forward to tomorrow” at least now. However, she had not sent me a single answer since then, and it seems Hasegawa don’t like to text with me, so I had not enough of braveness to email her.

I spent the day reading magazines and looking on the net, and decided where to go tomorrow.

We will have a lunch, then go to play in Joypolis, and then walk to the Odaiba Seaside Park that Hasegawa wanted to visit. I don’t know about a curfew in Hasegawa’s house, so I won’t make her walk too much, and will have to start home in appropriate timing. I think it’s a good plan as for me.

The rest of problems are… I have to make a good hairstyle, to not fail during that day, to be able to keep conversation… Hey, it’s a pile of problems! Well, there is no point to worry right now. Watch in the future more positively, me, it’s a date with your beloved Hasegawa!

It’s just to put wax on hair. I’ve grown practiced in this. I got the dense wax from Koigasaki, and I had read magazines at counters, then I had been training to put it properly, so there should be no problems. As for eyebrows, Koigasaki showed me the proper way to handle them, and I continue with it since. And I got proper clothes that were selected by Koigasaki.

Oh, I end up relying on Koigasaki completely. Most of all, it’s Koigasaki who did this so I can go to the date with Hasegawa. It seems I can’t do a single thing alone. I want to email her, I hate this awkward situation. Also, I want to apologize for my behavior, and I want her to be happy she left a good impression to Suzuki. I want an advice for the date with Hasegawa. And yet, I just don’t know what to say her.

Then I remembered that Koigasaki gave me a “date hints” when we were on that date simulation. I think, I need to use that memo right now. But where I put it? I searched in my school bag, then in my wallet, then in my school suit pockets, but I couldn’t find it.

Just why I’m so lame, I thought and depressed. Looking at my wrist watches, I noticed that it’s already five o’clock. A have a shift from the 6 o’clock, so I have to get ready for that. I have no choice but to give up on the memo.

That day, I was in bad mood on work. I rummaged every place it might be, but there was no purpose of that. I think, chances to find it is very low. I have to give up on the memo. Probably, it would be the quickest way to ask Koigasaki directly, saying that my date is tomorrow. I can restore relationship at the same time. Yes, it’s not the time for indecision. Right after I finished my shift, I decided to write an email to Koigasaki while I’ll be on a train.

[Hi there. I’m sorry if you thought I was angry. I wasn’t. That’s good distance between you and Suzuki decreased. By the way, the date with Hasegawa is tomorrow, so I thought to look at the note “date hints” that you gave me, but it seems I lost it. I’m sorry! (sweat) Could you please give an advice for a pitiful me? (cry) ]

What a miserable text I’ve typed… It seems like I’m apologizing to get an advice. But I’m really sorry, and it’s easier to send an apology along with something else. I read it again and pressed the send button.

However five minutes past, ten minutes past, but Koigasaki is not replying. I checked if the message was actually sent, but it has the tag “sent” for sure. Even though Koigasaki always replied within three minutes. I could assume that she is so mad she wouldn’t answer despite I sent my apologies. Is this not enough?

I’m starting to worry. Should I write another email, or maybe I should call her? However, my thoughts led me to a certain point. Did I commit something that bad? I was cheerless receiving her call, and nothing more. And I did help Koigasaki a lot, even used my own body for her sake. And now she’s so angry she wouldn’t forgive me despite I apologized? Something wrong with your anger, Koigasaki. I feel annoyed even more, and my will to send her one more message vanished.

The stress I received at work piled up on this annoyance, so I returned home in a very bad mood. Current time is over 11 o’clock, both mother and sister are sleeping. I warmed my cold meal in the microwave and started to eat it thinking what to do with my growing anxiety. My last ray of hope Koigasaki would not reply. I can’t find the memo.

Suddenly, I remembered a relationship guidance that I bought in the previous month, “Bible of popular men”. I opened my bookshelf and took it out. I have looked it through once, but it wasn’t that helpful for a senior high school student like me. However, I have no other choice. I found “The Date” item.

“Women love gorgeous café with view on the city in the night.”

“Women are suspicious towards those who drags into a hotel after the first date.”

“Avoid showing anger when you driving a car.”

… and so on. This is a guidance for working adults, and have nothing useful for a high school student. Next, I turned on my PC and go to the net. I’m usually looking on the net everything I don’t know.

I googled “date hints” and articles about dates displayed. Most of them were intended for women, but I found something for men.

“Close the distance on the first date!” was the title of the article. It seems to be for a pair who are not dating yet, so I though it fits me.

“1. Talk with the girl. Try to listen to her even if bothers you!”

Oh, I get it. I’m not sure whether it works on Hasegawa, but it should be effective. I typed it into a notepad on my phone.

“2. You managed to drag her out on the date? Don’t let it over on “you are a good person”! Try to impress the girl! When it would be a pleasant atmosphere, grab her hand!”

What? It’s too hard to be the second! I’m grabbing Hasegawa’s hand… Nope, I can’t imagine that. It would be a challenge for me.

“Even if you can’t afford that, gather your courage for natural physical intimacy! Let her know that you are a male!”

Natural physical intimacy?! Well, it might be easier than grab her hand, but I don’t feel I can afford that as well. Is it necessary to give her understand that I’m a male?.. Okay, I’ll write this down as well.

“3. It is not necessary to confess her on the first date, but at last demonstrate her your affection.”

That’s hard again. I won’t struggle this much if I could do that. I rather try to conceal my affection from her. I finished reading, and found this text at the end.

“All we said earlier requires courage from you, but if you will show at least a little of courage, the distance between you will get closer!”

I see. Courage is needed everywhere. If my courage will make me a bit closer to Hasegawa, that’s worth to do. I’ll try to put some effort to do something among these tomorrow!

The clock tells that current time is 1:30 AM. Crap, it would be worst to oversleep tomorrow. I turned off my PC and immersed in the bath. I was tired at the work, so I almost fell asleep here, but I forced myself to go to the bed. I thought to dry hair after that, but I was so sleepy that closing my eyes for a mere moment to get rid of fatigue caused me to conk out on the sofa. I don’t remember anything from that moment on.

Chapter 2

“Wa-a-a-a!!!” – I saw the clock and screaming. It’s 11 AM. I have only ten minutes left before I have to leave home. How did it happen? I was supposed to wake up early to I would have a one hour before departure to get all together. But I still have ten minutes, I’ll be okay if I’d hurry up!

I run to the bath to wash my face.

“?!” – I lost my words upon looking in the mirror. Few times.

My hairstyle is awful. This is a ridiculous bed hair. By the way, I fell asleep with wet hair.

“Craaap!” – I screamed and turned on the water to wet my hair.

“Naoki, don’t scream from the very morning.” – my sister woke up, but I have no time for her. I’m drying my hair again. Seven minutes have passed since I woke up. I surely have no time for breakfast, so I’m drying hair with my left hand, and brushing my teeth with the right hand. After that, I shaved, put my contact lenses, and put the wax on my dried hair.

The clock tells that the time I had to leave home is passed. I left my hair as is, changed my clothes, and threw the phone into my bag and run out. I reached the station on the bike and got into a train. It was the train that goes 15 minutes after the train I planned to use. I checked the transfer station schedule by the phone. Crap! It seems I’ll arrive in ten minutes after the agreed time. It is the worst thing to happen – a delay for the first date with Hasegawa, and that should never happen! First of all, it’s impossible that Hasegawa would be late.

I looked at the reflection in the train windows and panicked. My hairstyle is not settled at all. I tried to set them, but that was useless. Oh… I often saw a scene when a young man uses the reflection as a mirror, and was creeping out by that, but am I doing the same now? Today I understood their feelings.

I arrived at Shinbashi station and run with all my might from carriage exit to boarding place of Yurikamome line. I passed the wicket, and to Yurikamome boarding by the free side of the escalator. Owing to this, I managed to get on the train before the one I found it the schedule earlier.

I was panting, but when I get into the carriage and opened the schedule again. It seems I will arrive at the meeting place five minutes late. I must overcome the scheduled time! Even if I’ve decreased five minutes, I’m still five minutes left. Should I send Hasegawa an apology email? I took out my phone again, and noticed that I have an unread email. Is it from Hasegawa? I closed the schedule and opened the mailbox.

I was surprised by what I saw.

[From: Koigasaki Momo]

It has been four days!

[I’m sorry. I was in the journey when my phone discharged… I’ve bought the charger today.]   

I thought I would cry for real, so calmed I was by this email. Koigasaki wasn’t angry at me. Why am I so happy? Something wrong with me. Let’s read it ahead.

[Why would you lost the memo?.. Whatever. You’re meeting with Hasegawa today already?! From when?]

I wanted to reply Koigasaki saying I’m sorry, but first I have to tell Hasegawa that I’ll late, so I typed message for her.

[Hello! I’m sorry, today I’ll come five minutes late!] and crying emotion at the end, then I sent it. Koigasaki is next.

[What should do?! I’m on the train, I’ve overslept today, and I have a terrible bed hairs in addition! Please save me!]

[Why are you always like this?.. Well, where do you plan to go? ]

[A café > Joypolis > Odaiba Seaside Park, I guess]

This email had come within a minute, but next one is not coming. But I received an email from Hasegawa.

[Understood.]

That’s all. She might be angry. I thought it would be persistent, but I sent her [I’m sorry!].

Koigasaki’s mail is yet. Could it be she’s disappointed with me and she gave up? When was about to get sad, my phone rang. It’s an email from Koigasaki.

[I gathered the most important for you, be grateful.

– At a café. Give her the inner seat. Let her see a menu first. Watch your manners.

–    Joypolis. Watch if she feels bad.  Let her go anywhere she wants.

– At the park. Watch if she feels hurt. (Esp. if she wears sandals)

If you could follow this, she won’t think badly of you! ]

Oh, I feel reassured reading this. She’s a great person, after all!

[Thanks a lot!!! By the way, I didn’t get a reply from you yesterday, so I looked for them in the net. I found something like I have to do physical intimacy and impress her, but what do you think if I’d do that?]

Koigasaki sent me an unexpected reply.

[Physical intimacy?!.. At this moment the effect will be the contrary! A girl would be happy when a boy she likes shows thought for her, however if she thinks nothing about him, she would either increase her guard or just disgusted.]

Are you kidding me? It was dangerous! What if I’d act as they wrote on that website?

[I saw scenes in your manga when a girl accidentally happens to be hugged by the main hero, and falls in love with him since. But this is absolutely unreal for the real world, you know? Aside a situation where a girl likes a boy from the start, the only way for you is to raise your attraction points step by step.]

What a long email from Koigasaki! Moreover, she’s making my heart hurt.

[B-but… If she agreed to meet with only me, might it be that she doesn’t think about me as a nothing? ]

[How can you know that? She might have come only because I didn’t come… Okay, I get it. Watch her closely and do according to a situation. And decide what Hasegawa thinks of you by her actions! I doubt this is true, but if your attraction points are high, you can go with that intimacy thing and show her your feelings. If she not likes you nor hates you, a usual behavior, you can be friendly to her. If she hates you… well, you have to do something with that. If you’d touch a girl who doesn’t like you, you will be hated! ]

It seems logical to watch her attitude and change your own accordingly. However…

[But I think I won’t be able to get a grasp of what she thinks of me by her attitude.]

[You’re right. Okay. Tell me by an email how was her attitude today. I’ll think about it and send you an email with recommendations.

HOWEVER!

I think you understand it, but don’t you dare to play with your phone in front of Hasegawa! Email me when she went to a toilet or like that. If you can’t email me, you don’t have to try at all. ]

Then I was close to the station of the destination, Odaiba Seaside Park station, so I put my phone into a pants pocket without replying to Koigasaki.

I was grateful for her emails. I returned my spirits again.

On arriving at Odaiba Seaside Park station, I ran through the wicket and saw Hasegawa. I’m late for five minutes, just as planned.

“Oh, Hasegawa! I’m sorry for being late!” – I quickly ran to Hasegawa.

“You didn’t have to run.” – said Hasegawa. She’s as cool as always, but I guess she carried about me. Restoring my breath, I’m looking at her. A knee-length white lace one-piece dress and bluish cute sandals with a ribbon. Hairs… a ponytail tied with a scrunchie, and she has a basket bag in her hand. The tidy white one-piece is a popular summer fashion… It so bright I can barely see it. Like a summer angel.

“Kashiwada-kun?”

Oh, crap, my mind halted for a moment. That’s all because of the heat.

“Oh, sorry! Let’s go, then?”, – tried to say a prearranged phrase, but I guess my voice was strange after all. The nervousness, excitement, and fatigue piled up so I’m in danger.

“Kashiwada-kun, you’re sweating too much, are you alright?”

“Eh?”

I’ve only noticed this when Hasegawa pointed it, but I’m sweating as much as I’m under a shower. Well, it’s only natural. Aside from the hell hot weather, I have been running all the way except when I was on a train. I opened my bag to take some handkerchief. Oops, I obviously forgot them.  I want to die already.

“Could it be that you have no handkerchiefs?”

“Yes… I forgot them.” – said with a shameful smile to Hasegawa. She’s… offering me a handkerchief.

“Here, if you would like to.”

Really? She is an angel’s kid!

“No-no-no! It’s all right, I can’t use your handkerchief for wiping my dirty sweat.” – I said quickly, so even emotionless Hasegawa smiled a bit. However, it might be she laughed at me. Yet, I was happy.

“Let’s visit a cold place where we could take a drink, then.”

What is it?.. Hasegawa carefully suggested this for me. What a good girl. I plan to take a lunch, though. We left the station and entered the building of DECKS Tokyo Beach to find a café to have a meal. Joypolis is located in this building as well.

“Hasegawa, did you have a dinner?”

“No, but I have a breakfast recently and I’m hungry that much. Kashiwada-kun, are you hungry?”

“No, I’m…” – said, when my stomach rose its voice. What is with thing manga-like timing? I’m impressed. I want to drop dead. In fact, I didn’t have a breakfast and I’m starving now.

“I see. Let’s have a meal somewhere, then.”

“Yeah. Sorry…”

Many restaurants should be on the sixth floor, so we used an elevator to get there. I used a pocket tissue to wipe out my sweat (you have to avoid sticking pieces of a tissue to your face, so it’s unexpectedly hard), looking at Hasegawa standing in front of me.

The likes of me could go to Odaiba with that Hasegawa… I still can’t completely believe in it. If makes me excited just looking at the back of her head… Oh, hey! It’s not a right time to be carried away! I guess I have to get rid of this awkward silence.

“Ha-Hasegawa, when did you come to the station?”

“Just before you came. I arrived just in time we agreed.”

“I…I see.”

…

The conversation is over. Hasegawa never was a garrulous type, and I’m not so good in speaking, so when we alone the silence comes. I couldn’t find anything to speak about, and we arrived at the six floor.

“Hasegawa, what café do like to go?”

“I… A place where we could get cold drinks will be enough for me.”

Okay, where we can get some drinks?! It’s almost everywhere, isn’t it?

“I don’t mind going to a place where you could take a lunch.”

“Eh, really?!”

The most important thing is to allow a girl to choose, but Hasegawa says she is fine to go anywhere. Does it mean I have to choose myself?

“Then…”

I started looking around. There are many restaurants, but I don’t which is the better.

“Let me see…”

I want Koigasaki’s salvation already! Then, I caught sight of an impressively tasty hamburger.

“That looks so tasty!”

“Let’s come here, then.”

“Eh? Are you sure?”

“Yes, I don’t mind.”

I feel miserable to select a café by my own preferences, but I liked that hamburger. We entered the café and were introduced to our seats. The café was crowded due to lunchtime, but there was an empty table for a two, so avoided waiting. I was going to take a sofa in high spirits, but I remembered the Koigasaki’s email.

[Give her the inner seat.]

“Oh, Hasegawa, please, take a seat there.” – I stopped and said to her.

“Eh? T-thanks…” – Hasegawa surprised, but thanked me.

“Please, have a menu.” – a waiter gave us a menu. I wanted to choose the hamburger already, but I remembered the email again.

“Oh! Hasegawa, please, choose first.”

“Eh? Ah, thanks…” – Hasegawa hesitated again, but she took the menu and made her choice.

“I’ve selected already, all right.” – she promptly returned the menu back to me.

“Well, I will…” – I was confused seeing the menu. I’m hungry, hence everything seems tasty to me. After a while, I decided to take Double Cheese Hamburger with Rice and Salad Set. Double cheese hamburger means it’s big, but it’s fine as I’m taking both breakfast and dinner.

“Have you selected? I’m calling for a waiter. Excuse me!” – Hasegawa called a waitress in a smart manner. Oops. I should have called for a waitress, but Hasegawa did it for my sake again.

“One ice tea, please.”

“Double Cheese Hamburger with Rice and Salad Set.”

“Thank you very much! I’m taking the menu.” – she said and left us along with the menu.

The silence came again.

Okay, I’ve cleared the two items from Koigasaki’s email, and now my manners are next. When we were on the date in Harajuku, Koigasaki said they are terrible.

A date is complicated. Hasegawa looks outside. I tried to think up a topic to talk, but I failed, and just looked at Hasegawa’s face.

“Thank you for waiting! The ice tea and the double cheese hamburger with rice and salad set.”

Great! They did the order earlier than I expected. The ice tea in front of Hasegawa, and the double cheese hamburger with rice and salad set in front of me. Also, I thought the double cheese hamburger will not be this big. Then I noticed Hasegawa is staring at my бmeal, with her mouth agape.

“I’m sorry, I’ve ordered so much…”

There is a huge visual difference between my order and her order. I thought I’d better be hungry.

“Why are you apologizing? I’ve ordered what I wanted to.” – steadily said Hasegawa.

Next, I started to eat what I saw, remembering about manners. I tried to cut the hamburger smoothly, or to put it in my mouth nicely. Crap, my hand are trembling because I’m about Hasegawa might watching me.

“Oh.”

With a ringing sound, I overturned my almost full glass with water.

“Oh, crap.” – all the water that was inside my glass spreads on the table, and I started to panic.

“Kashiwada-kun, are you alright?”

I wiped the table using all tissues and napkins I had, and Hasegawa took out her tissues and gave them to me. A waitress came quickly and wiped out the table and the floor by a dish towel. Just why I’m doing such trivial misses? I’m feeling so miserable I can’t look at Hasegawa’s face. After everything was cleaned, I vanished my double cheese hamburger with rice and salad set. It was too much for me in the end, so I was more than full.

During the eating, “yummy” slipped out from my side, so we didn’t talk at all. Honestly, I was so immersed in eating I couldn’t talk.

“I finished! I’m sorry for waiting!” – I started to pack my thing to leave the café.

“We don’t have to go so quick, you better have a rest after the lunch…”

“No, it’s alright, it’s alright!”

Hasegawa had to wait while I finish eating, and I have no intent to keep her any longer, so I got up from my seat and went to the checkout. It would be good if I could pay her bill.

Actually, I had no money for the date, so I broke my depository where I’ve been storing my New Year money for fifteen years and get 10,000 yen from there.

I didn’t really want to broke it because my parents told me to save that money for a rainy day. I have to live all this month using this 10,000 yen, so in fact, I don’t have so much money to pay her bill. What a miserable man am I? I paid only my bill and left the café.

“Can I visit a restroom?” – said Hasegawa once we exited from the café.

“Oh, of course!”

Hasegawa went to a toilet, so I took out my phone and checked the time. Two hours earlier… It was less than one hour since we met, but I’m exhausted already. What the hell is this?

I started to type an email.

[To: Koigasaki Momo

Crap! I’ve committed a lot of misses! I have nothing to talk with her! What can I talk about?]

The reply came within a minute. She said she’s traveling somewhere… Could it be that she’s free?

[Relax! I can imagine your nervous face. (smile) What about Hasegawa-san? Did she look angry when you were late? What did she say to you? How did she behave?]

[Nope, she didn’t seem to be angry at all… I think. She gave me handkerchiefs, worried about me… She is an angel! ]

[So this time is enough for you to be given handkerchiefs and to be worried? I can imagine that as well, though… But if she’s worried about you, she probably doesn’t hate you. But be careful and try to avoid doing reckless things if you don’t want your attraction points to decrease! Don’t push on her! Behave like a classmate, so she could think that you are a good person.]

After that, Hasegawa returned, so I quickly closed my phone.

“I’m sorry for the waiting.”

“Not at all! Let’s go, then!”

“Did you decide where we go after this?”

“Yes, to Joypolis, if you don’t mind.”

“Sure.” – she said with her usual emotionless face. I’m remembering the last Koigasaki’s email. Be careful… To avoid doing reckless things… Do you have anything concrete? Thinking about this, I couldn’t speak to Hasegawa until we reached to Joypolis.

“Hasegawa, have you ever been to Joypolis?”

“Yes, I was here once long ago.”

It was unexpected. A calm girl like Hasegawa had visited such a noisy amusement park… It does not match with her image.

I bought two adult passports (entrance + free use of all rides) at the selling machine. Hasegawa was going to put money into the machine as well, but I quickly stopped her.

“Ah, I’ll pay because we came today to thank you for teaching.” – said and gave her one passport. I’m forgetting it all the time, but our purpose is to thank her for teaching.  Hence, I thought you won’t be a gratuity if I’d not pay this much for her ticket. I got all my savings, after all.

“You don’t have to, this is not why I came today…” – Hasegawa shook her head and taking out a money for a passport.

“I can’t accept otherwise! Please, receive it!”

Crap, I’m so impressive!

“But…”

“No, it’s all right if you take it!”

I have to push here.

“Well, if you insist… Thank you.” – finally, she took the passport with an uneasy feeling on her face and we entered the park.

“Hasegawa, which one would you like?” – I asked Hasegawa showing an opened pamphlet to her.

“Well…” – Hasegawa became thoughtful looking at the pamphlet.

“Hasegawa, do you have dislikes among the rides?”

“No, I could ride anything so far.”

“Eh? So you’d be fine with screamers and a ghost house?”

“I guess…”

Are there bounds of your almighty? That’s Hasegawa for you. As for me, I’m fine with screamers, but I can’t deal with a ghost house. For getting things worse, I noticed that I’m feeling not so good because of that hamburger. I thought it is all right after I finished the meal, but time changes things. I guess, I have to evade rough rides for now. My eyes were caught by a small rotating coaster.

“How about that one?”

“Okay.” – Hasegawa agreed, so we went to the end of a line.

“Whoah…” – I uttered, so bad my stomach was.

“Kashiwada-kun, are you okay?”

“Eh? Ah, yes, I’m okay!”

Why would I utter such sounds on a date? In addition, I made Hasegawa worry about me. Get lost, already! Work better, my alimentary system! After a while, earlier than I expected, we got into the coaster. Of course, I sat near Hasegawa, but… Are not we too close? I can grab her hand from this distance, and the ride would not be the main event anymore.

Then, the ride started. I’m usually completely fine with this, but my stomach is ill now.

“Ooh…”

I thought I’ll endure such a small coaster, but in my condition, it feels like a hell. It was over within a few minutes.

… I should not have ridden it. I’m sincerely regretting it. Oh, I should better regret I’ve eaten the double cheese hamburger with rice and salad set. At least, I should have taken a usual hamburger set. However I can’t have Hasegawa notice that I’m feeling bad. I must endure this.

“H-Hasegawa, where would you want to go next? It… it was one of my favorites… So… We should go to those of your favorites…”

“Kashiwada-kun… Your face is pale. Are you okay?”

I might be not okay, if you can tell it just looking at my face. To say it honestly, I’m reaching my limits.

“I’m sorry… Can I… leave you for a moment? I’ll get back quickly…”

“Yes, sure.” – I tottered away looking for a toilet. After a while, I found a men toilet, quickly took a free room, and stood in front of the toilet bowl.

Oh, that’s harsh. I think it’s untidy, but I’ve squatted on the floor and tried to do that few times. What a disgusting feeling when you can’t vomit. I involuntarily took out my phone.

[To: Koigasaki Momo

Crap…I’ve eaten too much and now I feel bad, talking with the white telephone… And we didn’t ride a single ride yet! ]

And I sent it. Obviously, there is no way she can help me with this, but… Her reply came quickly.

[Your lameness is infinite… If you’re that bad, you should ride anything, for starters.]

[But we have a ride-free passport! And we did not ride what Hasegawa would want.]

[What if things got worse and you will give that back in front of Hasegawa? You should better rest a while. If Hasegawa said she wants to go to the sea, you could leave Joypolis and walk to the sea.]

I read Koigasaki’s email and rest for about ten minutes more in front of the telephone.  I couldn’t vomit, yet my condition had not improved and I couldn’t return, so I just squatted all the time. If there is no sign of improvement, I probably should leave Joypolis without enjoying other rides.

However, if we’d walk to the sea, I’ll have to speak to Hasegawa, and then the bad atmosphere will become even worse. I don’t know how to speak to her already. Sure! Yesterday, I’ve read the article on the net, saying that I have to listen to her. I’ve put it my mobile memos.

[I saw an article yesterday. What Hasegawa would think of me if I’ll only listen to her while we walking to the sea?]

I decided to confirm this with Koigasaki.

[Hm… Hasegawa-san is not a talkative type, right? It’s fine if you’d listen to her, but try to not push on her, like, when you got up this morning, or, what did you eat today, or was a train crowded? Such a pointless questions are annoying. Watch her mood. Don’t force her to talk what she don’t like to. Use easy topics… like a… about the school, or junior high, I guess. Listen to her if she wants to say something, and so on.]

Okay… So just listening to her if obviously is not enough. I rested in the toilet for a while and returned to Hasegawa.

“Kashiwada-kun, are you feeling okay?”  – she said with a worried voice.

“I’m sorry I had you to wait so long. Well, I’m feeling better.”

It’s not like I’m cured now, but I’m surely feeling better in comparison with me ten minutes ago.

“But your face seems to be not good, I think.”

My face is still obviously bad anyway.

“Maybe you should better rest home today?”

It was the phrase I was afraid the most. It is the long-awaited date with Hasegawa, and I want to avoid returning home. Probably, she doesn’t want to tag along with such a lame me… I looked at Hasegawa, and she was honestly worrying judging by her face. I blamed myself in my mind for that stupidity.  Then I remembered the email I received from Koigasaki recently.

“Yes, I’m sorry… I’m feeling uneasy saying this, but I guess I can’t ride anymore. So, if you don’t mind, we could go to Odaiba Seaside Park instead.”

“Eh? Are you sure, Kashiwada-kun?”

“Yes, I think I’ll feel better under the onshore wind.”

“Okay, then…”

Hasegawa agreed, and we left Joypolis and we headed for Odaiba Seaside Park.

The onshore wind at Odaiba Seaside Park feels so good, and I think I feel better now.

“Hasegawa, is it the place you wanted to visit?”

“Yes…” – contentedly answered Hasegawa. Her hair is flattered by the wind. We talked for a while, walking by the seashore. I was searching for the next topic to talk about.

“Hasegawa, do you like the sea?”

“Eh?”

“I thought, you wanted to visit the sea, because you like it.”

Hasegawa did not answer the question, but looked somewhere into the distance. Shortly, she started to talk.

“I was here long ago. So, if you would ask me where I’d like to go, this is the first place I’d remember.”

“You had visited this place many times?”

“Yes.”

I remembered Koigasaki’s advice there. Listen to her if she wants to say something. I can’t tell whether she wants to say something, but she wants to talk… I guess.

“Long ago, did you mean your junior high?”

“No, before my grade school.”

“Huh… With your family?”

“Yes, I was here with my family.”

Hasegawa looks like she’s remembering something from the past.

“I had enjoyed being here, so I thought to come here once more time.”

“You have a friendly family.”

If she had enjoyed being with her family, so I though they are friendly, but in that moment it seemed her smile was sad. Did I say something I should not have to? What if she had a friendly family, but now things are different? I remembered the Koigasaki’s email where she said to not force her to talk about things she doesn’t like.

She didn’t reply, so I decided this is what she would like to not talk about, so didn’t ask further. But I was surprised by sudden silence break.

“Kashiwada-kun, how do you feel?”

“I’m fine.” – remembered Hasegawa out of concern, but my condition is steadily improving indeed.

“There is a bench, let’s take a rest there.”

“Okay, thank you.”

We sat on the bench. Her concern makes me happy. Now I’m looking for a conversation topic. I had a question to Hasegawa.

“There is one thing I thought to be strange. Why did you come to the karaoke, when we invited you in June?”

I’m surprised she came today, but I was surprised back then as well. It seems like she’s putting other people aside, yet she agreed to come quickly. Why? Hasegawa started to think.

“I’m not sure how to tell you a reason.”

“Eh?”

“There is no particular reason. I had come because I was invited. That’s all.”

Came because you were invited? Does it mean that Hasegawa would come anywhere it she will be invited? By the way, she came today with no resistance.

“So if I’ll invite you again, will you come?” – I used this situation and asked a bold question. She was surprised.

“Eh… If you’re fine with someone like me…” – she said with no confidence in her voice. But I was happy hearing it.

“Let’s go. Are you feeling well?” – said Hasegawa looking at my face.

“Uh, yes, I’m fine now.”

I wish to spend at least a little more time with Hasegawa, but I guess we have nothing left to speak about. In addition, I can’t force her to walk so much, and my condition signals to me that I should better go home today.

After that, we walked towards the station, when Hasegawa suddenly stopped.

“Eh?” – she mumbled.

“What happened?”

“Whoa, is it you, Hasegawa-san?” – a young couple appeared in front of us, and the woman spoke to Hasegawa. They came closer.

“Long time to see you!~ I’m so surprised!”  

She speaks as an old acquaintance of Hasegawa.

“M-Morishima-san…” – was the first word she said to that woman. But I was surprised seeing Hasegawa’s face. Could it be that she dislikes this woman?

“You hadn’t changed at all since the junior high. What a surprise!”

This proves that they are junior high acquaintances, however strange is that woman seems to be of the same age with us, but she wears raffish and opened clothes, completely different type than Hasegawa. Hasegawa’s face is pale, and she tries to avoid looking into that girl’s eyes. Then, she looked at me, from the bottom to the top.

“Are you on a date or something?”

Probably I’m seeing things, but she said it with looking down tone. The man beside her is obviously older, with a lot of black things… Crap. They are making fun of Hasegawa because of me. They would think she has a lame boyfriend, like “my boyfriend is better, I won”.

“You’re wrong, we planned to go by three of us, but one couldn’t come. It’s not a date by any means…” – I think, I overdid with excuses.

“Oh, I see. My bad, my bad.” – she coldly apologized. I don’t understand why, but I have negative feelings towards her. I can’t put it into the words, but I think I’m emitting an unpleasant aura. Moreover, Hasegawa is frightened by the woman.

“By the way, Hasegawa-san, are you still speaking with Sonoda-san?”  

Hasegawa reacted and rose her head.

“I… am not.”

“I see… I emailed her once after the graduation, but she never replied.”

“Oh.”

“So you couldn’t contact with her too.”

Hasegawa’s face expressed many complicated emotions I had never seen, – a painful, frustrating face.

“Risa, let’s go.” – a man opened his mouth for the first time. He was obviously annoyed.

“Oh, sorry. Bye-bye then, Hasegawa-san!”

“Sure.”

The woman named Risa and her boyfriend have left.

“Hasegawa-san, are you okay?” – her face was still pale, and it seems she forgot how to utter a sound.

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

“Your face looks terrible.”

“Oh, is it?”

Hasegawa took out a handkerchief from her bag and wiped the sweat.

“Can I ask, who they are?” – I asked and looking at her.

I asked a natural thing I’ve been interested in, it rather would be unnatural to not ask.

“…” – Hasegawa is not replying. Crap, it seems I shouldn’t have asked.

“Oh, I’m sorry, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want.”

“We used to be classmates… I don’t know how to put it…”

She talks despite the emotions on her face.

“It would be a long and boring talk.”

“I don’t mind at all. Of course, if it’s something you can speak about. Also, what about us to take a walk to unwind? It’s early now.”

“Well, okay, let’s do that.”

And we wandered around the station.

“Today is a hot day, but the wind makes it easier to withstand the hot.” – it was unexpected, but Hasegawa and I spoke about trivial things.

“You’re right, I’m feeling better owing to the wind.”

However, it’s not the story I want to hear.

“Morishima-san… that girl mentioned about Sonoda-san.” – Hasegawa suddenly changed the topic. I was surprised a bit.

“She is my friend from junior high school.” – Hasegawa relaxed again and spoke slowly. By the way, Hasegawa’s face was terrible when that Morishima-san mentioned her.

“I see. You were close friends?”

“Yes… She was a bright and popular, and she always would speak to lonely me. She was a very kind girl.”

“Eh? What a good girl! She was the best your friend your middle school?”

I was surprised that she was alone, despite it might be rude.

“Yes…”

Hasegawa’s face became calmed, and wind played with her black hair. It seems she is remembering that friend.

“When I was a grade school student, I had to change my school due to father’s work. And I avoided befriending with anybody.”

“Changing the school in that age is surely hard.” – I was shocked a little.

“So you gave up making a friend because of the difficult childhood.”  

“No, not at all. Simply I was a coward.” – easily said Hasegawa.

“But despite such my cowardice and coldness she would always speak to me.” – said Hasegawa with a slight smile. She must love her, I though.

“However…” – suddenly, the smile vanished from Hasegawa’s face, and it became emotionless as usual.

“Because of her kindness to me, other girls from my class started ignoring her.”

“Eh? Eeeh?” – I was really shocked by that.

“Other girls from my class always told her to not get along with me, but she ignored that. In addition, she hid from both she was told to not get along with me and that she ignored that.” – said Hasegawa with deep remorse in her words.

“To not get along with you? Why would they say it?”

“I… don’t know, but… It seems they disliked me.”

Why did they say such things? Did Hasegawa do so something bad to them? I doubt that so kind Hasegawa could do it.

“The girl who told that was the girl we just met, Morishima-san.”

“Eh?!” – I was severely surprised.

“That’s cruel! And now she would just come to you like nothing happened?”

“Morishima-san has a good appearance. It might be I did something bad to her without noticing it, and she began to think bad of me.”

I doubt Hasegawa could do that.

“What about your friend, what’s happened to her?”

“In the end, she stopped going to school.” – said Hasegawa with so sad face, I’ve never seen it before.

“It was my entire fault… If I would not there…”

“I don’t think so. I don’t think it’s your fault.” – I strongly rejected that.

“So she didn’t graduate from the junior high school?”

“She had barely enough attendance days to finish the school, and managed to enter a senior high school. Despite what I said to Morishima-san, I sustain the contact with her. She’s nice to me as if nothing happened.”

“I see.” – I understood her feelings.

“I’m sorry for a long dark story…”

“Not at all, it was me who asked for this.”

What should I do? Hasegawa has told me so much, and I have listened to her, but I don’t know what to say now! I can’t find right words! It’s not a story for what I could just give her a little praise.

Hey, me, it’s the worst to get silent right now! Yet I’m not sure what to say to her. I remembered my own junior high school life. I see… Hasegawa had bad experience too… Nope, her one was far worse than mine. However, we are the same in term of a bad past.

“Hasegawa.”

“What?”

“I think it’s a sad story, but thank you for telling it to me. I was happy.” – I said what I felt as is.

“I’m not sure how it would seem if someone like me says this, but… I think it’s not fault, Hasegawa.”

Hasegawa is listening to me silently.

“Well… I had a bad experience in my junior high, not as bad as yours, though. And it affects my life even now. So I think, I can understand your feelings a bit.”

“What kind of experience?” – Hasegawa asked with interest.

“Ah, well… A girl I liked backbit about me, and such… Well, it’s often seen in junior high, I guess, it’s nothing serious.” – I told about my trauma with a sore face. I never told anybody about this junior high trauma. I wish I could forget this bad memory. And I had no intent speaking about it now.

“Why? I think it’s more painful than what happened to me.”

She stopped, and looks at me with a serious face.

“I have never fallen in love, so I can’t understand a pain of it, but I think being rejected by someone you love is far more painful than I could imagine.” – said Hasegawa looking at me. Her face expressed that pain as if she talked about herself. Her words were enough for me. I was saved by them for a little.

We walked too far from the station, so we had to return to get on the Yurikamome. We didn’t say a word on the way back, but I felt this atmosphere is not bad, and I had no urge to talk anything either. Probably, reasons for Hasegawa to take some distance from others lay in her junior high school period. She blamed only herself, saying she had put a strain on her friend, and that because of her… If she thinks it was her fault, because she was there, then it might be a good reason to avoid being involved with anybody.

On the other side, Hasegawa became a class representative for everybody’s sake. The same I can tell about that karaoke, and of course, she came today to meet with me. I guess, deep in her heart she wants to be involved, to befriend with others.

I’m falling in love with her even more after I had to know that she is really honest and kind person deep inside. I want to get closer with Hasegawa.

“Hasegawa, you know…” – I said, and Hasegawa reacted.

“I might be annoying, but I am absolutely sure that is was not your fault!”

Hasegawa opened her eyes wide. Hey, why did I say it just now? She might think I’m out of my mind.

“It might be my imagination, but I believe our classmates would want to befriend with you. So, well…”

I think Hasegawa can get friends in our class. That’s what I was tried to say, but I failed to finish the sentence. This is not business to say such things to her, I thought.

“Kashiwada-kun…” – said Hasegawa after watching at me for a while. She has a surprised face.

“Kashiwada-kun, you are…”

“Eh?”

“You’re a strange person, Kashiwada-kun.” – said Hasegawa and kindly smiled to me like she never did to me.

“Hase…gawa…” – I was surprised by that expression and was ready to hug her.

It’s going late, so we entered Yurikamome station to change stations later.

“This monorail… I have so warm memories of it.” – Hasegawa suddenly said.

“You used Yurikamome when you visited Odaiba with your family?”

“No, my father drove us.”

A strange reply. Why else would she use Yurikamome?

“I was here two times, aside from the visit to Odaiba.”

I used Yurikamome to get to the Comiket last year.

“Did you visited Odaiba alone?”

“I did… But not Odaiba, but Tokyo Big Sight.”

“Eh?”

Aside from Winter and Summer Comiket, what is held at the Tokyo Big Sight? But I can’t match her image with Comiket at all. I craved to ask her, but I couldn’t find right words after all.

Is Hasegawa an otaku? There is no way… No way!

When we arrived at the transfer station the Shinbashi, we had to part our ways.

“I’m sorry for all disturbance I caused today by my bad health.”

“Not at all…”

Today, I have talked about various topics with Hasegawa.

I could hear about her unexpected past. I was very happy to listen to her. I had a feeling that the distance between us decreased. I thought that if she told me so much, she definitely opened her heart to me. If I’d put it in attraction points, it would be not “love”, but above the “usual” at least. In date simulator terms, among five grades of “hate”, “dislike”, “usual”, “like”, and “love”, it should be “like”.

Therefore, I was blinded by what I’ve conceived of. I have planned to do an unbelievable, to invite Hasegawa to a new date.

“Ha…”

“Kashiwada-kun.” – she spoke to me at the same time, when I rose my voice. Her voice was louder, so she didn’t notice I was going to speak.

“Thank you for today.” – said Hasegawa looking at me.

“Oh, it’s me who have to thank you.” – actually, I was happy she thanked me.

“You paid for my passport, and… Also, you listened to me… I decided to try again making friends after hearing your words.”

“Eh?” – I wasn’t sure what she is talking about, and looked at her.

“I had given up already, saying honestly. I though I can’t make friends anymore.”

“But today I have understood that I have to give an honest try to do it again.”

My thinking process halted at that moment.

“I think it’s owing to you, Kashiwada-kun. Therefore, thank you.”

“Oh… You shouldn’t…” – I tried to smile, but I couldn’t understand her. You’ll try to make friends?.. What will happen with me, then? Didn’t she consider me as a friend?

“Goodbye.”

“Yeah, take care.”

I had no power left to invite her to a date again. I just smiled her and waved my hand. I entered the train that will ride me home with the feeling of emptiness inside my heart.

What am I for Hasegawa? Is it insufficient to call me at least a friend? I was carried away by the fact we got closer, but wasn’t it my delusion?

I forgot even to email Koigasaki that I’m feeling bad, I just lean to the carriage’s wall in prostration. I remembered again and again what she said in the end.

Chapter 3

[Kashiwada-kun… If it’s you, I don’t mind…]

Right now, a girl sits on my bed and says shameful things to me.

[Hinata!]

[Oh, no! Not so fast…]

A love scene with a bishojo started, when…

“You’re doing such ugly things from the very afternoon! Naoki you pervert!”

The door was roughly opened and my little sister Akari stares at me with anger.

“Owah!”

I was so surprised I thought my heart would stop, and I quickly closed my laptop.

“I told you to knock on my door before entering!”

“I can hear those your high anime voices through the wall! It’s a huge bother! And it creeps me out! Why would you play your eroge right from the afternoon on your summer vacation?! Is your life over?”

So I really should have used earphones. But they’re broken recently, so I must buy new quicker. I thought it would be if I set the sound volume low, but…

“Oh, cut it off. What do call an eroge…”

“I can see it!” – Akari pointed on the package near my PC of the eroge I’m playing right now.

“I though you’re relaxing at home once a while! You had a lot of a good time dating with girls! You are on dates outside, and playing eroge at home, just how far is your libido wide, you pervert!”

“A date?..”

“What are you trying to hide? I know it since long ago! Mama told me yesterday. Where a girl who would date with such a creepy otaku came from? I can guess, though!”

“A date? Date… Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!”

“Eww, Naoki, did you lose your wits already?!” – Akari looked at me with fear in her eyes on the older brother who laughs rolling on the floor.

It has been a day since the date with Hasegawa. Yesterday in evening, I was thinking what I should write to her, when I got an email from Hasegawa.

[Thank you for today. Take a rest and get better.] – she wrote, and I replied her on high moods.

[Thank you for meeting with me today! It was very fun! I’m feeling better now!] – I replied, and in ten minutes she sent [Fine then. See you at the school.]

In the school… In other words, don’t reply to me anymore. Also, she has no intent to meet during the summer vacation. Well, actually I understand that it’s my paranoia, and she’s only trying to be nice, but her emotionless answer broke my tension. As expected, after I sent to her [Yeah, thanks for worrying about me. Have a good summer vacation!] she never replied.

I couldn’t get free from sadness and emptiness since then. I though I did all  I could, yet I didn’t reach even “friend” level. What should I do now? How to get closer to her?

That’s why I wanted to run away from the reality. I ran away into the 2D world. I have no money to play outside or buy new clothes, and I can’t buy a new game, so I took out from the shelf the game which I liked the most in my junior high. The game itself is simple. You only need to understand its conquer information, one day is enough to clear the game. You can obtain the girl’s emotions easily.

But the reality is different. How long, how much time I spent going towards that date, yet I haven’t reached “friend” level. What should I do next in this unconquerable game? Still, the only thing left after conquering my game is knowledge of how vast is the difference with the reality, and it wasn’t fun. (However, it might be I’ve tired of a game I had cleared many times)

“Ha-ha… ha…” – I was tired to laugh anymore, and just looked at the ceiling.

“Naoki, something wrong with you, really…” – Akari looks at me with suspicion.

“Senior high school has its difficulties, you know.”

“Huh? What was that? Are you making fun of junior high?”

“Not really.”

My junior high was dark too, actually.

“If something bad happened…” – Akari wanted to say something, but my phone rang so loud I couldn’t hear her.

“Oh… I’ll pick up the phone.” – and I received the call.

“Hello.”

Akari was interrupted and she’s obviously angry. She abruptly got up and left my room, slamming the door. Why she got angry all of sudden?

“Kashiwada, is it you?”

I wasn’t sure who’s calling because of Akari, but I recognized this voice. Koigasaki.

“Are you alive?” – I was astounded by this question.

“Why are you asking that? I’m not going to die that easily.”

“Why?.. That’s my question! You asked me to help during the date! I thought you died

Chapter end