Omae o Otaku ni Shiteyaru kara, Ore o Riajuu ni Shitekure! Volume 10 Chapter 5

OMAE O OTAKU NI SHITEYARU KARA, ORE O RIAJUU NI SHITEKURE! Index

 
Omae Otaku ni Shiteyaru kara, Ore o Riajuu ni Shitekure!

Volume 10 Chapter 5

I ride on the train headed to that location. Leaning on the wall of the train, my thoughts run wild.

…There’s one thing that has me flabbergasted. Earlier, it was clear to anyone who can see that this woman was drunk, yet oddly enough…when she grabbed hold of me, I didn’t smell any alcohol at all. Even though she was wearing perfume, before when she was drunk, she still reeked of alcohol despite having on perfume, but…this time…there was no smell of alcohol, even a little bit. However, that shouldn’t be. It has to be my imagination, surely. That’s because she drank 5 glasses of that cocktail called the Shirley Temple. In addition, if she weren’t drunk, she…probably wouldn’t do what she did to me. Well that’s what I least think. So, she really has been drunk from alcohol.

Really, today in the span of a single day, too much stuff has happened. It’s been a long, long day. If I’m not careful…I would probably be moved to tears a bit. At this point, my eyes would be easily moved to tears to a pitiful degree.

Now my heart beats like this…for one girl. I can’t get her out of my head.

…Azuki-chan.

If I close my eyes, her face is what comes up. Her smiling face, her crying face, her angry face, that voice, that scent. It’s a feeling that makes me want to cry it out. My chest hurts. It’s painful. Heartrending. Saddening.

…However.

To me, I have no right to say this. Right now, more in pain than me…is surely, none else than…

Azuki-chan.

I close my eyes and…slowly go over in my mind what has happened today.

"I like you, Naoki-kun! I love you the most in the world…! O-once again, please go out with me!"

After school, on the roof.

I heard the straight-forward confession of love from my girlfriend…

"…(gulp)…"

The words I thought to say would reach my throat…but didn’t come out of my mouth. Though her voice was shaky, she declared all her feelings to me. My loving girlfriend. The one I yearned for…my girlfriend I loved. With that same Azuki-chan before me…there’s no way I could say it. I was trying to say such a horrible thing. There’s still time to turn back. You can fix this. Those feelings burst forth one after another. With her in front of me, my emotions swayed. I’d wonder if the conclusion I had reached myself was really fine and such doubts gushed forth.

If I’m not careful, tears swell up in my eyes.

Thinking back on it, my memories with you…are all fun. I can recall my memories with Azuki-chan as clearly as though they all happened yesterday.

Azuki-chan brought me happiness that’s immeasurable. She brought me invaluable, beautiful days.

Azuki-chan always wanted to make memories and always took pictures. Let’s make many more memories…I would look at her, and such is what I would think. I believed and did not doubt that Azuki-chan and I would be together forever.

When we first met, things between us were bad and hostile. At that point in time, no one could have thought we’d form such a relationship as we have now.

You liked cosplay, were an otaku, and were a fujoshi (TL note: someone who is obsessed with homoerotic comics and the like), who would soon be fanatical about BL (Boys’ Love), you were my girlfriend. Even in happy times, you’d be soon to cry, you were a cry baby of a girlfriend. Even though you were so shy, from time to time you’d be shockingly bold…you always gave to me such a straightforward love….Your crying face, your angry face, your smiling face…all of it, all of it…

"I loved you…"

With tears flowing, those words came out of my mouth.

"I…truly…loved you, Azuki-chan…I want to always be with you is what I had thought.."

Azuki-chan listened to my teary-eyed words with a serious face.

"But…"

At my words, her shoulders started trembling.

Even though I thought I didn’t want to hurt her again…

Even though I thought I didn’t want to see her face become sorrowful again…

I knelt down in seiza on the floor of the roof.

"Na-Naoki…ku…?"
With both hands in front of me, I put my head against the floor in a kowtow.

I didn’t think that she’d forgive me if I did this, though.

"…I-I’m sorry…Azuki-chan…would you please…"

"Break up…with me…"

While bearing the sobbing, I finally…thrust the…worst words at my girlfriend. I didn’t have the courage to look at Azuki-chan’s face. But, just this…to do this properly, I had to look at her.

Even if it’s hard, I had to…properly look her in the eye and convey such. I still…have things I must say.

I slowly raised my head and looked at the face of the girlfriend I loved. Due to the tears I couldn’t see very well. She, without a tear or a look of surprise, was expressionless as she blankly…stared at me. I resolved myself, and spit out my words.

"…I..I, right now…more you, Azuki-chan, think I have more feelings…for…"

"Koigasaki Momo…I like…her…"

I said it. Oh boy, I said it. I, today, came here to tell Azuki-chan this. Out of so much worry and worry, this is the result of my thinking, my decision I am putting forward.

Azuki-chan was probably dumbfounded at my words, but eventually only her mouth moved into a smile.

"…Eh?"
At her response, I doubted my own eyes.

"Oh…stop it, Naoki-kun. Stop prostrating yourself. Like this, it looks like I’m the bad guy."

"Eh…"

She laughed. I thought for sure…that she would be crying, but the one wailing is me while she’s laughing like everything is fine.

"Come on, get up."

She grabbed my hand and stopped me up from lying like that on the ground.

"Azuki…cha…"

"Really, what’s to do with you crying? Isn’t it bad for the man to do such?"
"Azuki-chan…"

The girl who is a crybaby all the time…today has kept the tears away and is not crying.

"Sure enough, it’s no good….But, Naoki-kun, you’re response was about how I guessed it would be. So, I can be fine now."

In a calm way, smiling, she said such.

"Naoki-kun…thanks for everything up until now. Fight on…confess to Momo-chan. I will be supporting you in this after all."

"Azuki-chan…"

I could not believe her response.

To her…being able to break up with me isn’t such a big deal. This is extremely selfish of me, but…I thought it was something I had to do and just was completely pained wondering how I’m supposed to break up with her, feeling much sorrow. For some reason, I couldn’t think that it was a good thing that she’s surprisingly fine about this. I was absolutely dumbfounded by her reaction.

"Then…I’ll go back to the classroom."

Azuki-chan said, and she turned her back to me and started walking.

"…!?"

But, in the instant she turned away from me…I didn’t miss…that there was something shining on her cheek.

"Azuki-chan…"

Without thinking, I grab her shoulder and turn her to face me.

"…!"

In her eye…a tear was coming forth.

"…Eh? A-ah…?"

In a hot haste, she wiped her tear with her hand.

"Aah…really…this is bad…for me…for this last time…I wanted to laugh and walk away…"

I notice that one after the other, from both sides of her face, giant tears overflow from her pupils.

Azuki-chan…for my sake, until now you’ve been holding back your tears…!?

To leave me with a smile…? To keep me from being enveloped by guilt? Why do you, to the end…worry for my sake…?

Why must you be so kind to the last of the last with me being so horrible to you…?

If I think about it, you always…did worry about me. You thought about me the most.

"Azuki-chan…it’s fine, you don’t have to do such a thing…"

"I want…you to show me more of how you really feel….Until you are satisfied, be angry at me, even if you have to hit me, even if you resent me, let me see it…"

"Na…Naoki-ku…"

At my words…her face quickly changed to her sobbing.

"…uagh…(sob)…"

Azuki-chan wept so much that it seemed she wouldn’t stop.

"…uagh….uegh…ugh…"

In a hot haste she stopped my hand which I had extended to touch her.

I…no longer could hug this girl crying in front of me.

"…(sob)…stupid…liar…said I was the one you loved the most…that you didn’t want to break up…!"

"…!"

While crying, Azuki-chan…finally let out her true feelings against me.

"..I’m sorry."

"My…first love…first date…first kiss…all of it, you stole all of it…!"

Azuki-chan’s screams of bitterness…stabbed me right through the heart. It really is how she says…I really am a really stupid piece of trash.

"Yeah, I’m sorry…"

Like an idiot who only knows one thing, my pathetic self continued to apologize and say nothing else.

"(sob)…stupid…horrible…liar…! Really…really, Naoki-kun, I…!"

While wailing loudly she had another thing to say…

"…love yoooouuuu~~~~~~~!"

"…!? A-Azuki-cha…"

In a shockingly loud voice, she…while sobbing while crying, gave me a love confession ranked among the greatest in history. .

"I don’t want…to break up…(sob)…I always…always…wanted to be together with you…as Naoki-kun’s girlfriend…!"

No longer bothering to wipe away the tears, she continued to appeal to me.

"From here on out…I…definitely, definitely…won’t come to like any other person but…Naoki-kun…"

"…."

She didn’t stop the tears.

If I lost my focus for just a little bit, I felt like I’d say something I would later regret. I couldn’t overturn my decision on everything. So, I had to stifle my words to death.

If I close my eyes, the memories of her and me come up as clearly as if they had happened yesterday one after another as though they were on the inside of my eyelids.

"Mo-move—!"
What a way for us to meet, bumping into her in cosplay coming down the stairs.

"Kashiwada-kun, um…thank you very much for contacting me."

"But…it’s not like that, you said….That a sincerely kind person would be…"

"Ho-how about we…go see the movie together!? Um, not as a date…there’s no one around here who wants to go see it, so…"

"Umm, it’s really fine to let me be! I don’t want anyone to come with me!"

"Kashiwada-kun, that’s not fair. You’re too kind…"

"I love…that Kashiwada -kun! The one I like is Kashiwada! My feelings…will not lose to anyone!"

"I cannot believe it…I’m so happy…I also, I as well love Naoki-kun the most in the world…!

"Ever since that day at the Sky Tree, it’s been like I’ve been in a dream…The Naoki-kun I loved so much is my boyfriend…that he said he liked me…"

"I want to..have many memories to remember. I don’t want to forget anything we’ve done together, Naoki-kun…if someday, I were to forget them, I’d hate it."

"…I like you…I love you…Always, always…no matter what happens from here on out..I love you, Naoki-kun!"

At first she was just Koigasaki’s friend, but she slowly grew more and more on me. Before I could realize it, she had become the most important girl to me.

The day we had our first kiss on the beach. Without a doubt, through my life until now, that was the happiest I have ever been. My knowing the immense happiness of being liked by the one you like…is thanks to Azuki-chan. Will another day as happy as that one come again for me? That is what I thought from the bottom of my heart.

I loved her.

I loved the girl named Sakurai Azuki…

Unable to do anything to keep them from flowing, the tears continued to fall.

On that quiet roof, only our sobbing reverberated around us.

Looking out the train window at the very dark scene before me, I noticed the reflection of my pathetic crying face. Thinking back on today’s events…when I let my guard down, I again am crying alone. The passengers in front of me notice this and start looking at me strangely. But, now, I don’t have time to waste wiping away tears.

Around now, Murasaki-san should be arriving at Azuki-chan’s house. Upon hearing my story, she got worried about Azuki-chan and set off towards her place. I truly cannot be thankful enough to Murasaki-san.

"It has to…get through."

I unconsciously whispered in a voice…so low that no one could hear it. They may be words I needed to tell myself.

I…no matter what, have to get these emotions through…to Koigasaki. If I don’t do that, I can’t look at Azuki-chan with a straight face.

At last, the train arrived at the station near her house. I strengthen my resolve and get off the train. And I at once walked towards her house.

After calling her five times, Koigasaki answered her phone.

"…Hello?"

"Umm, well…is now a good time?"

"Eh? I guess…"

"Now…I’m at your house…"

"…Eh? Huuh?! What’s up with that!? That’s scary!"

"Just a bit…won’t you come out here…?"

"Eh?…Now? At this time?"

"Ah, well…there’s something I want to talk to you about. Not on the phone, but in person, directly…"

In the time that Koigasaki was changing to come out, while I was standing in front of such a stupidly huge house, it almost felt like today’s events were not real but some illusion, and all I did was wait for her to come out.

…It appears like today is going to be one long day.

*End of Chapter 5

OMAE O OTAKU NI SHITEYARU KARA, ORE O RIAJUU NI SHITEKURE! Index

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