Living Life As A Game: Through And Through 58 Lamenting Her Own Impulsiveness

Looking at Sun's still questioning expression, Elizabeth squinted her eyes as she just about had it with dealing with him. Before totally abandoning him however, the last hair of patience still within her, pushed her to into questioning why he would purposely ruin his foundation. Gradually, her face started to come back down to neutral as she asked, "Tell me, why did you ruin your foundation? Was it to get stronger faster? Did you think it wouldn't matter if you left your foundation a bit lacking now because you were only in the first stage of cultivation? Was it because you wanted to capitalize on the strong body you cultivated that you abandoned improving your spiritual prowess?"

"I… I don't know what you mean!" Finally, Sun reacted with something that wasn't shock as he was tired of being yelled and berated at for seemingly no apparent reason. "Why do you keep saying that my cultivation is bad? My foundation is ruined? How?! You saw for yourself! My Qi Connection is far more advanced than normal Pawn Stage Practitioners."

"Fuck did you say? What do you take me as? An Ignorant Idiot? Or do you really not know how badly you've screwed up? In either case, are you really content with such garbage as your Mag… Qi Connection?!" Due to the heat of the moment, Elizabeth almost blurted out Magic Connection, but luckily managed to cover the slip-up.

"Content? What am I supposed to do about it?! You want me to change my natural talent? That's impossible! I'm just cultivating to the best of my ability!"

"Mhmm..." By now, Elizabeth was starting to believe that Sun didn't actually know about improving his spiritual ability. As a matter of fact, this was the first time she'd even considered this possibility as she just assumed Martial Qi techniques had a method to raise spirituality like her meditation techniques.

Elizabeth asked P through their mysterious and perpetual bond, "You know my thoughts, so… could it be that he really doesn't know?"

Oddly enough, the first thing Elizabeth heard from her connection to P wasn't a word response. Rather… a twisted wheezing and laughing fit could be heard from somewhere in the ether as P chucked and began to speak. P said, "Oh my god, why are you so dramatic? The poor guy can't catch a break… Hahaha..."

Annoyed and extremely peeved by P's response, Elizabeth tried willing away her connection to P and somehow she accomplished her goal as the laughing stopped. Elizabeth looked at Sun and still half-angrily she said, "What do you mean you can't change your natural talent? First of all your wrong, as I've already changed mine! Secondly, I wasn't even talking about that, I'm talking about your… Qi Connection. Don't you know that you're supposed to improve your spirituality before you start generating Qi?"

"Huh? Spirituality? I literally have no idea what you're talking about!" If Sun was confused before, now he was beyond flummoxed as the word "spirituality" seemed to completely misalign with his understanding of the Martial Path. Spirituality? What would he need that for? To be religious? To know himself better? Naturally, Sun wouldn't understand what type of spirituality Elizabeth was talking about, as this was his first time hearing about the subject.

'Uh oh...' Elizabeth was starting to get worried… Did she just beatdown the only person she could trust without hesitation over a misunderstanding? Furthermore, where had all that rage and action come from? She had never once reacted to irrationally. To think that she had not only verbally abused Sun, but also slap him twice and dragged him around as if he were worthless garbage…

Elizabeth admitted that when she first probed Sun and found the abysmal Qi Connection he had created and broken through with, she felt exceptionally disappointed and betrayed by him. Though now that she thought about with a relatively calm mind, she asked herself, 'What the hell is wrong with me...'

Perhaps her disappointment and those feelings of betrayal, manipulation, and anger were justified when she recounted that she didn't yet know of Sun's ignorance. She honestly felt cheated when she realized that Sun had gone ahead and broken through with such terrible preparation and even now after the fact, she still thought it was a shame. If she had to compare this incident with a gaming analogy to better express her feelings, restoring and reviving Sun having watched him return to her as a barely above-average plebeian in contrast to the entire world of cultivation was just a horrible as grinding for the perfect IV Pokemon then ruining all the effort put into the grind by ignoring EV Training… Like working on the line art of a painting for days only find that while you left to take a break, a kid decided to pollock up your hard work.

As she became increasingly aware of how big of a screw up this was shaping up to be, she let go of Sun's rash guard and asked, "You… what did you do to break through to the Pawn Stage? I want to know exactly what kind of preparation you did before manifesting your Qi Connection!"

"Wh-? Preparation? I've been cultivating my physical strength for 7 years straight! Obviously, I was more than fit to break through to the Pawn Stage in one session of galvanizing Qi." To Sun, it seemed like a reasonable response, but to Elizabeth, it resolved the root of her misunderstanding.

"You went straight to galvanizing your Qi without any preparation at all and you had no idea of the consequences..." Now, Elizabeth couldn't even function properly, much less think of what she was supposed to say. Never in her life had she acted out like this and now that she understood her mistakes and genuinely felt horrible, she didn't know how to respond. So, like a child who had misbehaved and was reprimanded for the first time, Elizabeth could only awkwardly and silently voice a weak apology. She said, "S-sorry… I didn't know..."

Now that it was Elizabeth's turn to devolve into a depressed mess, Sun also didn't know how to respond. When he looked into her now frozen eyes which emanated the embodiment of regret, even through all the abuse she had rained down upon him, Sun couldn't help but want to comfort her. Only, given his obviously lacking experience with women, he had no clue where to start.

For a couple odd seconds the two of them just stood with blank minds, neither knowing what to do, when Elizabeth decided to even things out and try to make dues. To Sun's surprise, she took his hand and shakily put it about a foot away from her face, all the while, saying, "H-hit me..."

"WhNo!" Sun hurriedly moved his hand away, easily overpowering Elizabeth who wanted to force him into hitting her. With panic evident in his voice, Sun asked, "Why?!"

"I deserve it… Besides… Aren't you angry with me? I've not only hit you twice... the misunderstanding on my part probably opened up some old wounds and rubbed salt on them to add insult to injury..." Elizabeth couldn't even stand to look Sun in the eyes, as a tribute to how awful she felt and thought it was true she was feeling horrible, the cause of those negative feeling had very little to do with the excuse she gave Sun.

She did feel a bit down by putting Sun down with her words, but that was all; feeling just "a bit" down. What edged her on to reach depression was how she blamed herself for the way she acted, the way she read the situation incorrectly, and worst of all, the way she could have affected her Affection Rating with Sun. Elizabeth wouldn't deny that she had goodwill towards Sun, given his lack of hesitation when it came to saving her. But more than goodwill, her view of him ever since has been that of a partner and a tool.

His strength and loyalty made him a trustworthy companion, so she didn't reject the notion of being by his side. As long as Sun kept placing his life below hers and "served" her to a satisfying degree, she wouldn't mind treating him as a friend and even reciprocating a bit of that care in the form of guidance. That was the plan, until Elizabeth screwed it all up before she could start conditioning him anyways…

Well, reality wasn't as cut and dry as Elizabeth imagined, as Sun didn't automatically hate her now. Instead, given how quickly she had changed from furious to lamenting, he thought there must be some underlying reason for her behavior, and now knowing that she acted out but still wanted to make it up to him was enough for Sun to soften up to her again.

Sun put his hands on her shoulders which in turn caused her to look up at him. When Elizabeth saw Sun's face smiling back at her she felt another itch in her chest, only this time it had nothing to do with fire-energy or anything of the like. Alas, before she could even complain of how odd the sensation felt, Sun said, "Look, I still don't understand why you got mad in the first place. I can see that you've realized that I'm ignorant of some things, so could you explain what's wrong?"

Elizabeth remained quiet as color started to return to her eyes. She looked Sun right in the eyes and as she saw no underlying hatred or bitterness, she made up her mind to later fix him… again.

Chapter end