For My Healing Life Chapter 22

Editor: Essence

[T/N: Lee Suan's POV]

The members who had come in as soon as my father had left, said they each had personal matters to take care of and left the hospital. At that time, when I saw the appearance of Park Jitae and Oh Rion especially hurrying out, it caused a strange feeling.

What is it? That causes them to hurry to such a degree.

From the members, I was able to hear the news about how the reality filming would be shot at the hospital. Seo Yoon hyung and Ryu Sunho went together with Choi Hoso PD-nim to talk in the hospital's lounge, this was after Oh Rion and Park Jitae left the hospital saying that they would be back after going to talk with the company.

What's going on, that they all have to leave like that. Are they starting to feel uncomfortable around me?

Once I opened the floodgate, all sort of negative thoughts started to fill my mind. [Korean idioms will be the death of me. 물꼬  – a sluice gate which you raise and lower to control the flow of water into a rice paddy. 물꼬를 트다 means ‘opening the sluice gate' so the idiom can mean something like ‘the floodgates had opened up'. The only problem? The sentence used is actually ‘물꼬를 잡기' which means ‘taking hold of/catching the sluice gate' which makes no sense. I could be completely off track. If any of you have an idea, please drop a comment.]

However, it shouldn't yet be the time that Park Jitae's grandma passed away…….

[T/N: Lee Suan's conversation with… daddy dearest ^.^*]

'In the end, you still signed the contract after all? Che, useless bastard.'

'……'

'Don't bother about something like breach of contract and go to medical school.'

'I don't want to.'

'What's good about being a lousy entertainer. Acting so uselessly stubborn, you're exactly like your mother.' [T/N: the word Suan's father used was 딴따라, it's a disparaging word from back in the past when entertainers were looked down upon.]

'I'm relieved if it's like that, since that means I'm not similar to father.'

'As I thought, you shouldn't be tolerant while raising your own brat. How is it that you only kept the bad parts of your mother.'

'If you're going to say things like that, please get out. You have no use for me, and I can smile even if you call me trash. But if you're going to bring up mother like that, I won't endure it.'

'So? You won't endure it? If the likes of you can't endure it then what, what can you do? Look at the attitude your using towards your father.'

'Yes. I won't endure it. Was it Han Soo Jung?' [T/N: Suan might be referring to a woman his father had an affair with.]

"You, you…… how could you know about that…….'

'You should be careful. My maternal grandfather and grandmother are all still alive?'

'Stupid bastard. Drop the useless act and live with your mouth shut.'

My father turned his back and left the hospital ward.

'……I don't want to see you again.'

After being left alone, I started to pack up the belongings lying on one side of the hospital room. Don't know whether the members had brought necessary belongings for this short time, but they had more than I thought.

Not even a second. I don't want to stay one more minute in this place. I was anxious to the point of wanting to simply get out of this place.

I ripped out the IV connected to my hand. [T/N: Please, please never do this IRL]

– tok tok

Blood dripped from the back of my hand where the IV needle had gone in and fell to the floor, dyeing it the colour red.

The thought that not long ago I was in the same space with the person called my father, caused the goosebumps that had just disappeared to rise again.

– huk

Vomit came up. My insides turned and I felt nauseous.
I covered my mouth with my hand and ran into bathroom inside the hospital room, shutting the door and locking it, and grabbing the toilet seat.

I don't know if I should feel relieved that there is a bathroom in this room or if I should resent the fact that I am in this hospital.

– huk

Despite the stinging discomfort in my insides, nothing came out of my mouth through my throat. It was simply dry heaving. I hadn't eaten any food, so it was clear that no vomit would come up.

– hruk

No, there was something coming out. White. No, the transparent colour of gastric juice was spit out. I flushed the toilet water and at that moment I saw my appearance.

Hah, seriously. My appearance really makes someone speechless.

I walked towards the washbasin and looked in the mirror, I saw my figure in the mirror was covered in blood.

If someone saw this, wouldn't they think they saw a zombie?

My absurd appearance caused a senseless laugh to trickle out. I must have grabbed my neck while retching, around the vicinity of my neck blood was drying in the shape of handprints. My hospital gown had already been stained with crimson blood.

The floor around the toilet, the place where I had gripped the toilet, and the sides of my mouth which I had covered with my hands were all covered with blood.

Ah, if this appearance was captured by the camera, it would be a big problem.

– kwang kwang

"Lee Suan!" [Jitae]

"Hyung!" [Rion]

The sound of Park Jitae and Oh Rion yelling and calling could be heard over the sound of them banging on the door like they were going to break it down.

Ah, I'm going crazy. They wouldn't have brought along a camera as well, right?

– kwang

"Yah. Open the door!" [Jitae]

"Hyung! What's going on! Are you sick?" [Rion]

Ah……. I don't know what I should say.

"I'm alright. The IV needle just fell out, so I went to the bathroom." [Suan]

– kwang kwang

"If you're alright, then open the door." [Jitae[

"Hyung, is it true that you're really alright?" [Rion]

I hurriedly turned on the faucet and rinsed the blood stains on my hand with water. With my clean hands I wiped my face and mouth, and also around my neck.

What to do about the clothes?

The injury wasn't coagulating and blood kept flowing from the back of my hand, I placed it under the faucet's flowing water. Slowly removing the badly stained pants, I hurriedly turned my head and spoke towards the door,

"Bring my clothes that are inside the bags I piled on the bed."

"What? Yah, Lee Suan what are you saying? Do you understand?" [Jitae]

"No I can't. Hyung, I can't hear well because of the sound of water!" [Rion]

Aish. So embarrassing.

"I'm asking you! Bring over! My clothes! Inside the bags! On the bed!"

I rinsed away the watery blood from around the washbasin and with the hospital clothes I had removed, I wrapped the back of my hand to stop the bleeding. With my uninjured right hand, I wiped away the red line that had formed inside the washbasin.

Ah……now, what to do about the floor?

– kwang kwang

"Hyung. I brought it over." [Rion]

"Yah, open the door already!" [Jitae]

I removed the top of my hospital uniform and wrapped it around my hands and wrists. [In case you're confused, Korean patients don't really wear a one piece long gown but rather pajama like clothes. Long pants and buttoned top.] 

Looking down at the hospital bathroom floor flooded with bloody water, it was a situation where misunderstandings were inevitable, no matter who looked at it.

With a slight turn, the locked door opened.

"Yah. Why do you make people worry so much……? What is that?!" [Jitae]

"Hyu, hyung? That……" [Rion]

I knew it would be like this.

I violently shook my head left and right and took the clothes from Oh Rion's grasp. No, I tried to take them.

"You, you… did you self harm?!" [Jitae]

"Hyung… no matter the circumstances… this isn't right." [Rion]

What sort of thoughts are these two having again. I'm saying it's not like that!

***

[T/N: Park Jitae's POV]

In the distance, the hospital room door opened and Lee Suan's father wearing a white gown walked out into the hall.

"Hyung, I'll go to Lee Suan first. PD-nim, see you later!" [Jitae]

With an urgent heart, I spoke quietly only to Seo Yoon hyung and without even thinking about getting PD-nim's understanding, I thoughtlessly tried to enter the hospital room.

"Is that so, I must have forgotten [about the MV release]." [PD-nim]

"PD-nim, you're too much. How could you not tell us in advance?!" [Sunho]

As the shooting period had carried on, the PD-nim had become quite close with us. He listened to Ryu Sunho's whining for some time and then spoke with a playful expression, "I don't forget that much." matching the rhythm of the conversation.

"Jitae-ya. No matter the circumstances, PD-nim is here, how can you leave like that?" [Yoon]

If the person gripping my wrist and preventing me from quickly running away wasn't Seo Yoon hyung, I would have recklessly run away.

"Ah, Seo Yoon-ssi it's alright. Also, Jitae-ssi you should hurry and go. It seems as if you want to go take care of something urgent." [PD-nim]

PD-nim without letting Seo Yoon see, looked in my eyes and naturally winked one eye, then spoke in a playful tone of voice.

"Yes? Jitae hyung's in a hurry? Really, really want to go? Feeling like it's going to come out!" [PD-nim is speaking as if he were a member who is saying that Jitae has to use the bathroom urgently]

"Pffhahahaha, Jitae-ya if it's like that, you should just speak honestly." [Yoon]

Pushing back Ryu Sunho who was asking if it was true, Seo Yoon hyung and Choi Hoso PD-nim naturally smiled with a 'Just go ahead' type of feeling.

"Hyung. I'll go with you too." [Rion]

Oh Rion who had stood silently listening to our conversation, suddenly followed me and spoke.

"Rion was also in a big hurry?" [PD-nim]

"Ehh? Rion as well?" [Yoon]

Pftt, that's right, I shouldn't be the only one suffering.

"He says he's really in a hurry, he wants to go like crazy. Pftt." [Jitae]

Without bothering to listen to any long conversations, I lightly tapped Oh Rion's shoulder and ran to the hospital room. If I did it to this point, he should know and follow.

"Hyung, let's go together." [Rion]

Passing by the open hospital room door I saw Lee Suan standing near the bed, deep in thought. Don't know why, but I had a feeling of wrongness. It felt as if he were left alone, something big would happen.

Ah, as I thought it bothers me. What to do? Is it better to follow and see?

Without knowing what sort of thoughts he was thinking by himself in front of me, but seeing Lee Suan's blank and unfocused gaze, I made my decision.

"Lee Suan, I'm going to make a call to the company! Yah, you [Rion] come with me too.” [Jitae]

"Hyung? With Suan hyung I'm… Ah! Come on. Let go of me and walk." [Rion]

"I'll follow along by myself?" [Rion]

Seeing the Oh Rion who was following behind me and unlike how he usually spoke, was continuously grumbling about his dislike of my actions of dragging him along, I let go of his wrist's sleeve.

"I just saw the person who's called Lee Suan's father walking towards the emergency exit. Something is probably strange, let's follow and see." [Jitae]

"……." [Rion]

Oh Rion tightly shutting his mouth with no answer, the continuous grumbling disappearing, and quietly followed behind me.

Ah, is it not here?

Although we arrived at the emergency exit, we could not see a single person anywhere wearing a white doctor's gown.

"Are you sure he went this way?" [Rion]

I carefully opened the emergency door exit and spoke.

"Ah, I definitely saw him going this way……."

"Shh!" [Rion]

Oh Rion, who had hurriedly covered my mouth with his hand, with soundless footsteps carefully climbed the stairs. He sat down in the middle of the stairway, pointed with a finger towards the stairs leading to the top, and spoke soundlessly.

'Here. He's here.' [Rion]

I lightly nodded my head up and down and deadening my footsteps as much as I could, I carefully stepped towards where Oh Rion was sitting.

The poll for sfx was almost a tie. In the end, Korean sfx won by just a litttle. So I will continue using Korean sfx. We'll see if that changes in the future. 

What sort of hospital patient clothes do your hospitals have? Gowns or pajamas?

Chapter end