For My Healing Life Chapter 20

Editors: Essence & Nafia

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[T/N:Lee Suan's POV]

I hate it…….

"So, that bastard. He wants to do it by himself again?"

"Mm, they said it would be that way."

"Oho, Iridescent must be supporting Lee Suan."

No.

"I heard that he's being sponsored [as in sleeping with higher-ups], isn't that why they're only supporting him?"

"Hah, that dirty bastard! Does he really want to go solo by himself that much?"

It's not true…….

"That's why there's that rumour that that bastard was a male whore."

"It's pitiful being on the same team as him, truly pitiful."

I never did anything like that!!!!

"That's what I'm saying. If it was me, I would have withdrawn already."
.
.
.

No. I've never done anything like being sponsored!

I never wanted to go solo. If it was like that, I would never have joined a group!

The memories of the past were slowly playing in my mind, like scenes from a movie. One of my saddest memories, where I hid and just listened in that waiting room, was reproduced and shown to me.

"So, you're saying? We are pitiful?"

"Huk. Ah, hello! We're the newbie group, 'U-boy', that just debuted. Please take care of us!"

"Ah, hello!"

"Yah. I asked you a question, you think we're pitiful?"
.
.
.

Although on the outside, it seemed as if the other singers treated the members of Iridescent as sunbaes and quietly bowed their heads, in reality, they were cursing at them behind their backs. No, I was the only one being cursed at.

Dirty bastard, male whore, selfish bastard. They called me so many names that you wouldn't be able to count them on your fingers.

During that time when I monopolized all activity it was because I was selfish enough to stand out and believe in my musical talent. Our bad beginning and our misunderstandings due to not being close. It had always been painful.

Hate it. I said I hate it!

"Th…is. Eh…"

For a short time, the replay of my memory stopped and a small sound slipped through the gaps of my memory. It was the sound of an urgent voice. After a minute had passed, those painful memories started again and that slight sound was buried.

I want to wake up. Please…anyone, please take me out of here.

Uuuh, my head…….

I don't know if I had a nightmare because it's been a while since I've slept for such a long time, or if the fact that I was so stressed and suddenly fell into a deep sleep were to blame. I opened my eyes to a throbbing headache.

What?

A pure white bed, and pure white blankets covered my body. And attached to the back of my hand with a bunch of tape, was a long line. Following the line, I saw it was connected to what appeared to be a glucose IV.

Why am I here? I definitely had gone back to the dormitory, laid on my bed, cried for a while to the point of exhaustion and fell asleep……?

I peeled back the blankets that covered me, sat up, and put on the slippers that were lying beneath my bed.

Who exactly brought me to the hospital? I tried to make sense of the current situation, as various thoughts came up in my mind.

In this single person hospital room, there was the bed I had just laid on, a long sofa, a small refrigerator, and next to the bed, a dresser to store your belongings in.

The bright sunlight streaming in from the hospital room's side window, once again reminded me that I had been sleeping for a long time.

I should have woken up if I was moved like this.

Whether it was because my body was too tired from being overworked for so long or the fault of the nightmares that had played repeatedly all night, I could not remember a thing.

I dragged the IV drip that was connected to me and moved towards the sofa. When I reached my destination and extended my hand to touch the sofa's arm, as if someone had been on the sofa a short while ago, some warmth remained.

Ah, my head hurts…….

The more I thought deeply about it, the more my headache worsened, I was unable to think any complex thoughts.

I massaged my drooping head and stood still in one place, and stared at the sofa. While trying to endure the pain from my headache, had more than 10 minutes passed? No, it seems as if it was at least 15 minutes. The sound of the hospital room's tightly shut door opening was heard.

"Hello, you've gotten up? Do you know where your guardians went? They were up nursing you all night long."

The nurse greeted me while entering the room with a blood pressure machine. Saying she would take my blood pressure, she pulled me to the bed along with my IV drip from where I was standing next to the sofa. Then she immediately tried to take my blood pressure, sitting me down, and using the machine, wrapped the cuff around my arm.

"I……"

"You should not talk while having your blood pressure taken."

I wanted to ask a question, but as soon as I uttered the first syllable, the nurse's curt response came immediately.

"Okay."

"You should not talk."

At the nurse's increasingly stiffening facial expression, I shut my mouth, nodded my head, and sat quietly.

"The blood pressure is normal. I'll check your temperature now."

She removed the cuff wrapped around my arm and set the machine aside, before pulling a thermometer out of the front pocket of her clothes and bringing it up to my ear and taking my temperature.

"Your temperature has fallen to 37.2 degrees [Celsius]. You came to the hospital with a high fever, your guardians were very worried about you, it must be a relief."

"I don't remember how I came here. May I ask if you know who brought me here?"

"You came early this morning, at that time there was another nurse on shift, so I was unable to see when you arrived. The chart said you were admitted around 2 AM."

The nurse took the transparent card stuck to the side of my bed and read it.

"Since you came through the emergency room and then checked in, you probably came to the hospital around 1 AM. When I arrived to work this morning and you were transferred to me, there were four men. I think they took turns nursing you, two at a time."

"Four men?"

"Yes, they were still here when I came to change your IV at 8 AM.

"By any chance, is there anywhere else that you're feeling uncomfortable?"

I answered that I was fine, not even giving a second thought to the headache that was bothering me.

"What time is it right now?"

It's 11 AM right now. It'll be lunchtime soon, so you'll have to eat and then take your medicine."

The nurse, who had no other duties to carry out, left the ward room with a smile and those words that seemed almost threatening.

Left alone in the hospital room, I sat down heavily on the bed and sorted out the nurse's words. Last night while I was sleeping, those guys came in to make sure I was asleep, found out about my fever, took me to the hospital in the middle of the night, admitted me, and stayed at the hospital till morning while nursing me.

It was 11 AM when the nurse left after doing some simple tests, so the time I woke up must have been around 10:30 AM. I spent 20 minutes wandering around the room trying to gather my thoughts, so if they had left right before I woke up, it must have been around 10:20 AM.

So why did they bring me to the hospital?

They should have just left it alone. Disregarding is what they're all good at.

Why do you all keep pretending to be friendly and taking care of me? Why is it that in my memories all of you are different than now.

– tududuk [the sound of a door sliding open…]

"Lee Suan! Are you alright?"

"Suan-ah, did you sleep well?"

"Hyung, I really thought yesterday that you would leave like mom did……"

"Hyung, yesterday I was really stupid."

When the hospital door opened, I could see the worried faces of the Iridescent members and hear their warm voices. Even without lifting my head, their voices were instantly recognizable.

I had no idea how to react to their friendly appearance as if nothing had happened and everything was normal.

"Lee Suan, were you scared when you opened your eyes and there was no one around?"

"Suan-ah, are you still very sick, no right?"

"Hyung, please don't be sick."

"Hyung?"

"You……."

Nevermind.

Their expressions of being ready to listen to my every word, really caused me to become speechless.

There was quite a lot I wanted to say and ask you all. However, those are all things in the future and none of you would be able to know them. I made my presence smaller.

When I had first returned to the past, I didn't feel the reality, since I remember sleeping after I had retired. Therefore, I wanted to achieve all the things I had once wanted, within that dream.

I couldn't help but think that all my lingering regrets came together and created this dream where I could achieve what I wanted.

Something I didn't want, and something that no one else could empathise with. Who in the world would believe time had turned back to the past.

-tok tok tok

The sound of regular, firm knocking was heard at the door.

Who is it?

I lifted my head and stared at the door, which had not opened but where the sound of knocking came through.

"Is there someone who is going to come? Did you call someone?"

"Are they from the company? As soon as Suan-ie was admitted, I had left a call for the chief."

"I don't know."

"Shall I go out?"

No, I'll go out. Our maknae should just go over there……. and play with his hyungs."

Seo Yoon hyung patted Ryu Sunho's and Oh Rion's shoulders and headed for the door.

As soon as the door opened, I saw a person who I had hoped to never see again.

Chapter end