Ch.94: I Understand It All

Leyla lowered her head, unable to say anything more. She started to shed tears so thick that it was hard to open her eyes. The tears started to drip down onto Kyle's hands as he sat on the floor.

Kyle had lost all his will to fight and was staring up at Leyla as she sobbed. Her disheveled hair was half-covering her gaunt face and neck. Her partly open blouse and pale, trembling hands were painful for Kyle to look at.

"That's the reason," she continued. "So please, Kyle..." Her face was marked with deep sadness and embarrassment.

Kyle let out a devastating moan. Duke Herhardt, who had approached Leyla as though he was about to pick her up and carry her away, stepped back and watched the other two. A sliver of the pale moonlight revealed to Kyle that the duke was smiling.

"You're engaged," Kyle said, glaring over Leyla's shoulder at the duke. "You're about to be married!"

Matthias nodded indifferently. His posture and facial expression were calm and composed, wholly unlike the way he had looked moments earlier when he was engaged in a fistfight like a common ruffian.

While Kyle let out a bitter sigh and ran his fingers through his messy hair, the duke helped Leyla stand up. Then he gently swept her hair away from her wet cheek, stooped down, and kissed the edge of her tear-filled eyes.

Like an animal licking its wounds, he slowly continued to kiss the tears from her face. With her eyes closed, she put forth no resistance as he did this.

How could you? Kyle thought. He would have preferred to have gone mad, but his mind was clearer than ever.

The duke patted Leyla on the head as if he was telling her she had done a good job, then he buttoned up her blouse and fixed her collar. "I'll be back after the uninvited guest leaves," he whispered in an intimate tone.

She nodded. A few tears hung on her chin, glimmering like diamonds.

Before leaving the cottage, the duke walked over to Kyle, who made no effort to stand up. The duke bowed his head to him politely as if the fight between them had never happened.

The sound of his footsteps could be heard passing through the front doorway onto the porch, then out across the yard. Once it was quiet again, Leyla went to Kyle's side. She gasped at the sight of his bloody lips and swollen cheeks. If the fight had gone on any longer, he might have been seriously injured.

Her lips were quivering, as were his, though for different reasons. They both spoke at the same time.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

"Don't touch me," he said.

She froze at the cold, harsh tone of his voice. She had never heard him speak to her like that before,

Ignoring her question, he staggered up onto his feet and asked, "How could you do this?"

"Kyle..."

"Of all people, how could you, Leyla Llewellyn, do this?" He looked at her with eyes full of a deep sense of betrayal, as well as sympathy for her. "When you coldly rejected me, was it so that you could live like this? When you talked about working hard to achieve a life without shame, were you talking about life as the duke's secret mistress?!"

He wanted her to cry. He wanted her to make an excuse. Or if not that, he earnestly wished that she would turn on him and shout angrily. But all she did was bite her quivering lip and put her pale hands together before saying, "I'm sorry."

It was the last phrase Kyle wanted to hear.

"I'm... really sorry, Kyle."

He couldn't believe that he was hearing her apologize, using the same lips with which she had just said she loved the duke moments earlier. "I'm sorry. "He could never have imagined how insulting that phrase could sound. He let out a wild, desperate scream that seemed to shake the walls of the cold cottage.

Then, with his bloodshot eyes, he looked around the familiar cottage. For years, it had been a second home to him. He looked at the kitchen table and thought about how he and she had sat there, talking and laughing, all the way back when their legs were too short for their feet to reach the ground. The cottage was packed with precious memories like that for him. Then he looked again at Leyla, his beautiful first and only love, who on top of that table had just been kissing a man who would soon be another woman's husband.

Once the last trace of his anger had subsided, he snidely asked, "How long has it been going on? Did I get in the way?" That bastard, he thought. Even though he was filled with such a deep sense of shame that he wanted to rip his own tongue out, he wouldn't stop.

She shook her head, sniffling. Even as she clutched the hem of her skirt and pounded her fists against her legs, she looked extremely slender and frail. When he realized how emaciated she was, it deepened his hatred of the duke even more.

He stiffly wiped the tears from his cheeks and asked, "Are you still not going to stop? The duke is going to become Lady Claudine's husband very soon. Saying that you love a man like this... You know exactly what that means, Leyla. You can't live like that!"

He vividly remembered the future that Leyla used to imagine for herself. She had told him countless times that she wanted to become an ornithologist so that she could study birds. The brilliant young girl had talked about how one day she would become as free as a bird and set off somewhere far, far away. Whenever she talked about this, her eyes had sparkled with expectancy,

"The duke can't give you the future that you used to dream about, Leyla. Do you really not realize that loving him means giving up on all that?"

As he looked at her breathlessly sobbing, he thought back to the spring day when she had finally accepted his proposal. As she had told him she wanted a house full of children with faces that looked like theirs, she had seemed so hopeful and innocent, while now she looked forlorn.

It pained his heart to think that the very same Leyla was now reduced to being the mistress of a man who was going to make her lonely for the rest of her life.

"He's going to ruin your life, Leyla."

His plead now sounded like a prayer.

"I know, Kyle," she replied, dropping her head so that she wouldn't have to look at him anymore. "I know all of that."

"Leyla, you....."

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Kyle."

She put her hands over her face and burst into sobs again. Tears started falling from his eyes again as well.

The pale moon hung high in the sky and dimly illuminated the two of them. Their tears continued falling for a long time.

Eventually, Kyle left the cottage. Matthias still had not returned.

Claudine gazed at the moonlit garden with an amused expression on her face. Matthias had sent word that he was busy with work and would be having dinner separately in his cabin. It was something he had done many times before, but now it was harder to believe him.

He probably went to see her, didn't he? she thought. Perhaps all three of them met. But Kyle is gone now, so why hasn't Matthias returned?

After question upon question filled her mind, she put on a coat and headed outside for a nighttime stroll, leaving her maid behind. As she walked through the forest at a brisk pace, she giggled. She had received many things from Matthias and Leyla. Now, for the sake of the Brandt family's honor, she was going to pay them back.

Once night fell, the forest was spooky, as though it was haunted. Claudine gradually increased her pace, as if she was being chased by the nocturnal birds whose calls rang out eerily amid the trees. She breathed a sigh of relief when she finally reached the riverside.

She narrowed her eyes as she saw that the lights were on inside the duke's cabin. Perhaps he hadn't gone to see Leyla after all. Or perhaps he had brought her to the cabin.

She shook her head to try to rid herself of the unpleasant thoughts that were coming to her mind, but her suspicion wouldn't go away. Just then, the cabin went dark.

Startled, she rushed to hide behind a willow tree that was growing next to the river. Soon, a tall man walked out of the cabin.

It was Matthias.

Later that night, Matthias returned. Leyla could tell that it was him just from the sound of his brief knock at the front door.

Sitting on her bed with her arms around her knees, she had been quietly waiting for him. She hadn't locked the door. She knew he would have done whatever it took to get to her and satisfy his lust. A meaningless act of resistance would only lead to more misery for her.

Matthias knocked once more, then opened the door and walked inside. The sound of his unhurried footsteps and the floorboards creaking gradually grew nearer.

When she heard him knock on her bedroom door, she went from being about to cry to snickering to herself. Sure. Duke Herhardt has always been classy. Even when he's tormenting me.

She watched with ice-cold eyes as the door slowly opened. He briefly glanced inside the room before stepping over the threshold.

He looked more or less the same as he had earlier. He was still wearing a formal suit, and his hair was neatly combed back. His necktie was immaculately knotted. The only clue that he had just been in a vicious fight was the wound at the corner of his mouth. She grew even angrier as she thought about the mess that he had made of Kyle's face.

"Did you have a nice, friendly chat?" he asked, standing at the foot of the bed.

She glared at him, gritting her teeth. "How could you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Kyle's injured. Because of you."

It wouldn't have happened if he hadn't barged into your home uninvited."

"No. You're the one who barged in here, Your Grace. You're the reason it happened."

Her tear-filled eyes glistened as she glared at him. Showing no particular reaction to the contemptuous look she was giving him, he caressed her hair with an especially tender touch.

"Say it again, Leyla."

"Say what?"

"That you love me.

He sat on the edge of the bed and faced her. She stared blankly at him for a while, then sighed and turned her head away. He then grabbed her face and turned it towards himself again.

"It was just a lie I told to protect Kyle," she said.

"I don't care." A slight smile appeared on his lips. "Lie to me, then.

"No. Why should I tell such an awful lie again?"

"Awful...?"

"Yes. Horrible. Have I said enough?"

"What a great friend you are to endure such an unpleasant task for him. It makes me want to cry." Snickering, he grabbed her arm and pulled her towards him.

In an instant, she was right in front of his face. Unlike previously, however, she showed no fear. His eyes grew even colder at her defiant attitude.

"It was for Kyle," she said, looking straight at the duke.

He looked back at her just as defiantly.

"Kyle."

The sound of her uttering that name made him feel like a stain was being left. on his heart.

If it were for Kyle, I could say it again a thousand times. But not now. I don't want to say it now."

"You sacrificed your body for Bill Remmer, you sacrificed your heart for Kyle Ettman... What do you think you are, some sort of saint?"

"I would do anything for Uncle Bill or Kyle, even if it means acting like a saint," she retorted.

She then tried to back away, but he firmly held her near him.

"I love him."

When she thought about the lie that she had stammered out in front of Kyle, she wished that she had bitten her tongue instead. She didn't understand why the duke was so intent on hearing her tell that one lie, when their deal involved her doing plenty of other things.

"Why? Do you need a saint to rescue you?" she asked. She would rather mock him than let him see how much he had hurt her. Yes, I hate him, so I should find a way to hurt him, somehow. One way or another, I'm going to...

"Have you eaten dinner?" he suddenly asked.

She was thrown off guard by the unexpected question.

"You should cat something first. And then-

"What are you saying?" she asked, cutting him off. "Who do you think you are? Because of you, Kyle is injured, and I had to hurt him by telling that horrible lie! And now, you have the audacity to tell me to eat dinner?"

"Leyla."

"Just do it."

She forcefully shook his hand off her face, then proceeded to remove her blouse. "I understand it all. Anyway, you just came here now to finish what you started with me before."

122 As he silently looked at her, she sat on his lap.

"I love him."

That awful lie was still ringing in her ears.

"I love him."

She would have done anything to wipe that memory from her mind.

"So, let's hurry up and get it over with."

Chapter end