Ch.81: The Unchanging Heart

Matthias felt himself grow enraged at her words. His hand came up behind her head, grasping her hair tight in his hand.

He wanted to make her afraid, to intimidate her once more to submission. He wanted her to look at him and know that he could destroy her beneath him without having to lift a finger.

He wanted to see her cry and beg for his mercy before he’d callously toss her aside like the trash his mother sees them as!

But when he imagined that all happening, he couldn’t help the sinking feeling in his gut. His grasp on her loosened up, losing his will to do those terrible things to her.

Instead, he pulled her closer, pulling her up flush against his warmth. He cradled her in a gentle way, and Leyla went along with no resistance. He knew she told him she wouldn’t disobey him any further, but something was unsettling by how easily she always complied with his wishes.

He then stood up from their seat, and carried her towards the bed, gently placing her down over the covers. He tucked a stray lock behind her ear, and kept her gaze on him as he took off her clothing one by one; her shawl, her coat, were the first to go.

Somewhere in losing her clothes, Leyla’s eyes wandered all around the room once more, refusing to keep eye contact with him. She resembled a doll, with her strings cut off. She knew by the way her sight blurred he’d taken off her glasses, then the chill bit her fingers as her gloves were taken off as well.

She gasped when he gently interlocked their bare hands together, making her look back at him in shock. He then gathered her in his arms, seeing the way the goosebumps ran up her arms once the coldness returned.

Leyla looked back at his deep blue eyes, and felt a different kind of warmth fill her as he stared at her with those tender eyes she’d seen him look with before. Her heart fluttered at the knowledge it was now directed at her, filling her with an odd sense of relief.

Matthias held themselves together, content at their current contact as he busied himself with keeping her warm. Leyla wanted to look away from him again, but found herself unable to. She was drawn to him. She’d always been drawn to him.

She could feel the blood rush to her cheeks the longer they kept eye contact, filling her pale face with a healthy complexion once more. Matthias found himself so captivated by her, he’d let go of her hand, making her gasp.

Whether in shock or relief, Leyla couldn’t know. He surged towards her, capturing her dried lips into his warm mouth, and began to kiss her without meaning to.

It just felt right to do so.

Leyla moaned at the feel of his lips against her, feeling his tongue prod at her lips to gain entrance. She gasped as she tried to pull away, only to let his tongue in, making her feel dizzy as the kiss gave her newer sensations.

“Ah..”

Her body quivered under his roaming touches. One of his hands was busy fondling her, rubbing friction against her skin in a bid to keep her warm, while the other fisted in her hair, tightening in a pleasurable way as she let out a wanton moan in response.

These feelings were making her uncomfortable, it was like she had to succumb into his ministrations. She squeezed her eyes shut, but it only heightened her sense of touch, and taste. She must remember why she’s even allowing herself to be taken like this so helplessly!

Yes, memories of the hurt she felt by the Duke, his blackmailing, and the immense betrayal she felt when he demanded her to do this was enough to save her from drowning in the tenderness he was showing her.

It was as though he was trying to suck the life out of her, with how long he kept making out with her. When he finally pulled away, Leyla could tell her lips were swollen from the kiss, but at least her body was no longer freezing, instead there was a heat pooling under her stomach. She looked up, half-ready to be disappointed.

“Are we done?” she asked him in a breathy whisper, they were both gasping for air, their chests heaving in tandem. Matthias just kept staring at her, “Does that mean I get to go home now?”

When he still remained silent, Leyla took it as a go-ahead, and began to leave the bed, when Matthias grabbed her by the arm, stopping her from leaving. He then snaked an arm around her waist, and pulled her flush until her naked back pressed against his chest. His warm breath grazed the back of her ear…

“Be more like your body Leyla,” he whispered against her ear, “It’s been so honest so far.” his husky voice encouraged, making her shudder against him. She could feel her cheeks flush once more at the intimacy of their position, feeling his index finger caress her cheeks.

She could feel herself getting wetter the more she spent in his arms.

Matthias appeared at ease with himself, confident in the way he’d molded her body to respond to him…

And she hated it. She hated how her body did respond to him whenever he’d touch her. How she’d lean into it and respond so readily to him.

“I-I can’t control how my body responds!” she protested, gasping when he rubbed up against her, “It’s similar to how you shiver when you’re cold or grimace in pain when you’re sick…… It will be the same no matter who touches me. This is not what my heart wants.” she finished. Matthias only hummed, nosing against the nape of her neck…

“Is that really the truth? Or you’re just denying it?” he couldn’t help but ask her. His aloofness made Leyla more nervous in his hold…

“Believe me,” she hissed at him, the flickering flames of the fireplace catching her vision despite its blurriness as the fire reflected in her eyes, “I meant it with all my heart that I hate you!”

The memory of Claudine’s maid giving her money for her services, was burned painfully in her mind…

“And that will never change!” she declared, feeling the tears well up in her eyes, but she didn’t dare let them fall.

‘I can’t keep living like this!’ she screamed in her head as she desperately wished for time to fast forward where she was past all this!

The anger in her surged through the surface with her wish. All the pent up resentment and hatred she couldn’t express towards Claudine because of her guilt in her affair, reared its ugly head towards the Duke who was the main reason why her life’s been tumbling down the wrong road.

“Aren’t you prideful enough to not let a woman berate you like I do?!” She hissed at him, and Matthias nodded in agreement,

“You’re right.”

“Then just let me go and no woman ever will again!” she exclaimed. Matthias just clicked his tongue.

“I told you already Leyla,” he stood up, peering down at her with an intense gaze as he gathered her up in his arms until they’re pressed chest to chest with each other, ignoring the way she squirmed in his hold. “I also find your rebellious ways so endearing,” he teased.

He then laid her on the bed, glancing at her naked body in greedy lust as he hovered above her, trapping him within his arms. “You’re so captivating, it’s driving me crazy to be around you,” he whispered to her, his voice dropping into a low octave, sending shivers up her spine at how hot and bothered she currently felt.

She bit her lips, forcing herself to not make a sound. She just needed to endure it, it will be over soon enough, just like the previous times. And then she can go home again and forget.

And so she turned away from him, and caught sight of the wall paneling on the side instead. She kept her eyes trailed on it as she heard the ruffling of clothes, and felt Matthias’ warm body close to hers.

Chapter end