Alma
/ Alma 153 I'm a Person, Too.
Old, young, man or woman; It did not have any bearing on the shifting silhouette. Neither did the race of the shadow. Human, Avunian, Eisalon, Cuanian -- the difference did not change anything for the kneeling mortals.
The unbelievably intoxicating power surging through the veins of the Chosen during the Age of Chaos had proved too great a responsibility for them. Without the supervision of the Ancient Mulians, who had fled into their own hidden dimension, the world fell into chaos after the Great Barrier War.
Abandoned by their superiors, the original first-generation of Chosen -- the Otherworlder Generation -- lost themselves in despair over the nature of their circumstances.
Trapped in a cage, surrounded by an unstoppable foe outside, and without a way back home to their original homeworlds. Left to fend for themselves on a strange planet at the edge of a foreign universe, not even their own.
Confined in a sealed prison cell with other strangers, too. Peculiar races from different stars. New neighbors, who were unlike them.
Could they be trusted? Could anyone be trusted? What were they to do from now on? What was there to live for in a doomed reality?
Was Hope even alive anymore, or had She drawn her last breath on the day that the Heavenly Barrier was activated? Were... they delaying the inevitable?
These questions plagued the first generation of Chosen in their dreams, to the point of madness.
"Some Chosen who could not stand the pressure of their drawn-out existence eventually broke. They, by their own hands, ended their torment. Rather than continue to endure the suffering of living in a damned, hopeless existence for potentially thousands of years, they chose to..."
Reed closed his eyes and said, "Stop it... I can't go on anymore. Please." He had seen enough.
This suffering. This hopelessness. This is too much.
He clutched his chest and drew out the warmth within his bosom in order to soothe himself. The outline of the Mark of Responsibility shone dimly underneath his clothes as it stirred itself into action.
It was not long before Reed calmed himself down, his frayed nerves eased by the mysterious, yet familiar warmth he had grown attached to.
"...Why have you shown me all of this... suffering? What do I stand to gain from this?
Should I be furious over the injustices done to the mortals of the past?
Disappointed over the long history of oppression enforced by the Chosen of the past?
Am I to feel betrayed that I and the rest of the world were not told about these atrocities, despite the fact that they hold no relevance to today's Chosen?"
Reed was furious, disappointed, and did, in fact, feel betrayed, but that did not mean that he would blame the Chosen of the present for the sins of their ancestors. Truth be told, he did not even have the hatred to blame the Chosen of the past, either.
Their entire world shattered into pieces, right in front of them on the day of the Heavenly Barrier War. Reed couldn't even conceive how unimaginably heartbreaking it must've been to see the destruction of their hope.
He condemned every Chosen who had abused their power during that hopeless time period, but that did not mean he was not blind to the unfortunate circumstances of the time.
"I can't say that they'd all be pure saints had everything not gone to shit, but I'm willing to wager that they were all decent enough before the world went to hell. Not the demented, lost souls you showed me.
They were people. Sure, they were also Chosen, but that doesn't mean that they were immune to the despair brought on by the Great Barrier War. Anima, for all it's good for it's capable of, isn't all that effective in the face total despair.
It'd be pathetic of us to judge these people over what had likely been the darkest period of their lives."
Lu'um pointed backward and said, "So you're willing to let all of that slide because the times were hard?"
When Reed turned around he felt his eyes water in pain from the sight of the monstrosity behind them.
It was taller than anything he had ever seen on Mulia. A mountain of corpses lay before them, stretching far into the sky above without end into the crimson clouds above.
Mortals, Chosen, the Old, and the Young. A terrible achievement in savagery of such sickening proportions that it could not be described with language alone.
Rotting flesh, bone, blood lay in a grand display, as if to present itself to the world, so that all may see the horrors that people were capable of. The terrified screams, desperate pleas, and forgotten prayers of the dead filled the bloodied battlefield with the timbre of unrestrained madness and despair.
Reed's mind would have probably broken had he not developed the mental fortitude he possessed now. A thousand year's worth of suffering assaulted his mind as it passed through him.
"I-It's not... okay. I'll never approve of what happened." Reed bit his lips, and said, "B-But they were people and... in times of desperation, even the best people can falter and become lost...! People make mistakes, goddammit!"
In the blink of an eye, the torment ended. The scenery had changed dramatically.
Reed heaved crazily and looked around in confusion. It was the Silvermoon Grasslands. They had returned back to the calm, lush fields of verdant life.
"'People make mistakes.' ...Is that right?" said Lu'um.
"Y-Yeah, of course, they make mistakes! What's so special about that?! It's obvious as could be!"
Lu'um stared at Reed square in the eyes and said, "Then... what's so special about me making mistakes, then? What's so special about my people making mistakes compared to the Mortals and Chosen in Mulia?
I'm a person too, you know, despite whatever you've been thinking about me.
I am not some goddess, and my people aren't infallible angels, either. We're the same, even if we're not Human, Avunian, Eisalon, or Cuanian... The only thing we have on the rest of the races is time. We're a little more grown-up than them because we were born first."
Lu'um stared off into the distance and said, "You said that you couldn't really fault the Chosen too much because of the circumstances they found themselves in, yes? That they probably had the capacity to be better people, but were hindered by the tribulation of their time."
Oh.
Reed suddenly felt his heart drop into his stomach.
"Then what of my people? We once protected the entire multiverse, only to be beaten down and chased back onto our original homeworld. Watched as our families, friends, and the trillions of living beings we swore to protect were stolen from us one by one.
Planet by planet. Star by Star. Galaxy by Galaxy. Universe by Universe.
We're people, too. We wanted to live. Wanted to save our dying reality.
And when we were pushed up against the wall during our darkest time, we became desperate just like these people did... Because, believe it or not, we weren't perfect.
We just acted that way to give the other races Hope. Give them a sense of comfort knowing that they'd always have us to protect them.
We-- I did things... I made very, very bad mistakes. I am not proud of what I did when I was consumed by fear, desperation, and despair. None of us are.
Even now, my sins still haunt me in my sleep, Reed."
She looked at Reed with such an honest gaze that he nearly could not look at her.
"I keep these... terrible secrets to myself because of my shame. Don't think for a second that I hide things from you because of some hidden, machevillan reasoning. I would never do that to you."
Lu'um gripped Reed's hand weakly and said, "I'm a person, too. I don't know what sort of projection you've cast onto me, but I'm not who you think I am."
She leaned very close to Reed, so close that he could see his own reflection within her clear light-brown eyes.
"I'm only me."
Reed squeezed her hand tightly, as if to stop her trembling and said, "...I'm sorry."
He didn't know a better way to express his feelings than that. Rather than make a mess in explaining himself to her, he decided to keep it simple and clear. There had been enough ambiguity and vagueness between them.
"I haven't been very faithful, have I?"
He didn't know a better way to express his feelings than that. Rather than make a mess in explaining himself to her, he decided to keep it simple and clear. There had been enough ambiguity and vagueness between them.
Chapter end
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