Allure 30 Chapter twenty nine

"Mr Quinn has really outdone himself this time," Emilia said to Sara as they admired the decor of the hall.

I set my eyes on the swinging chandeliers in an effort to ignore the stares of the servants. Judging by the bulging eyes which obviously indicated shock, I was certain they were the household helpers who were surprised to see a living replica to the late heiress. It could be that... Or the fancy dress I was made to wear. Still, I wasn't comfortable with it.

The royals abandoned me before I could even notice and I watched them join a group of elite women. It was a basic instinct to join them but considering how vain our conversation was going to be, I knew I had to pass.

I drifted my attention to watching other people be happy or pretend to be. Even my father seemed to be having a conversation with this certain boy.

Look who doesn't have a social life.

Considering I grew up in a conservative environment, It wasn't that far to guess why I was so antisocial.

...or jumped at a marriage in a week.

"Hey..." Conrad jumped right at me, Interrupting my mental report.

"Hi."

"How are you faring? Heard you're getting divorced soon."

"Who told you that?"

"Word spreads fast. You should know by now that the walls have ears."

"Yes. This place is definitely disturbing."

So disturbing that everyone was going to watch the Regent-Soon to be Prince marry for the third time.

I gave a quick glance at Lucy. My cousin who was next in line where we had failed. She was trolleying my grandfather right my way. I wondered if She would be okay with it.

"If you're thinking it's not okay for Eric to remarry, I'll tell you this. Our father married five times before settling down with the late Queen and I'm not adding his mistresses. So...It it's tradition." Conrad filled me in before taking his leave right before my grandfather walked in on us.

"How are you doing tonight darling?" My grandfather says, giving a glare to Conrad at the same time.

"Fine."

"Considering all the things going on in your life, You're definitely putting a brave front. Reminds me of Tatia."

This made my toes curl. Yep, I was tired of being compared to Tatia. Everyone here wasn't ready to let go of her memories. Father was right. After the divorce, I had to leave Nodith.

"When you're in the wrong place. It doesn't hurt that much."

Grandfather turned to Lucy and asked her to excuse us. She bowed in respect and left us.

"Maisy," He said holding my hand, "You are home and I know you might not understand it now but Nodith is home."

Somehow I had this suggestive premonition he wasn't hinting on Eric.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"I'm not supposed to tell you this... But I have to tell you about the women of our family."

Women of our family? 

I didn't know if It was my curious nature or the stillness that overwhelmed me but I actually have him my attention.

***

Eric

Mingling with masks could be tiring sometimes but it was a way to get the blank thoughts out. I fixed my attention on Maisy. She was listening with rapt attention to her father. My guts wrenched knowing her time here would soon be up.

I gulped down a goblet of fine wine. The sting in my throat made me feel like a man again even if I was shattering on the inside.

Anthony approached me walking hand in hand with Lucy. He wasn't going to give me the time to think. He never did.

War is coming and you need time to think?

I hated the inner voice. I hated my role but It was something I just had to do with a smile. I had been taught that since childhood. Smile and everyone thinks you know what you're doing.

Brother," Anthony coughed, gaining my attention, "Lucy wants to hear what you have to say to her."

God! He didn't even break the iceberg. The hard job was always left to me. Heartless.

Having said that, He abandoned me with Lucy.

"Lucy... I..." I stuttered, unable to find the right words.

I needed to make sense but I knew better than to believe she'd just take anything I threw at her.

"Sara has filled me in Your Majesty." She informed, her eyes faced down.

"What... Well..."

"Do I accept?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure?"

"I am. I'm pretty sure Tatia would have wanted this and I wouldn't want this kingdom to go down in flames."

Excitement wasn't quite what I felt at that moment. It was actually a relief. I could almost burst out laughing at the world.

"I never expected this conversation to be this easy," I confessed.

Lucy gave a nervous smile and said,

"This is for everyone's good and if I can give a helping hand, I will."

"What can I say? This is just so good to hear from you true."

"Thank you works." She replied.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. So... I was wondering about you and Maisy... Are you going to let her go this easy?"

"It's the right thing to do. If I care about her at all, I have to let her go."

"Is that what Tatia would want?"

"I don't know."

Tears welled up in my eyes remembering Tatia's last night alive. I couldn't protect her then but this version of her could be protected but definitely not by me.

"You're sad."

"No I'm not."

"Is this about Tatia? It's noctem mortuorem after all."

"Please stop!" I warned. It was hard to muster the words and an even greater task to keep calm.

Conceal...

"I know it's been months but you're allowed to care." She said.

"I've moved on," I muttered.

"You literally want to cry."

She then moved closer to me and said,

"I was never close to Tatia but you were and I can't imagine the pain you're going through right now but it's okay to show them. It's okay to cry."

Those words were the last straw. The waterworks were coming full force and there was no stopping them.

I walked out of our conversation and headed outside.

As I raced out, Flashes of my happy times with Tatia filled my blurry eyes.

Nobody compared to her, Not even Maisy. It was difficult trying to move on. Pretending to forget it all.

My tears were the only thing that kept my spirit alive when it was burning in pain. The pain could not be extinguished but they made me live.

It is my tears that keep my soul alive in the furnace of this pain. They cannot extinguish what has been, yet only carry me forward until a time comes when that seating despair would die. So maybe Lucy was right. It was okay to cry. It was a thing of pride.

So I let it out, All of it.

***

Maisy

The secrets Grandfather told me was enough for me to make me a living dead. Frankly, I wasn't in control of my legs as they strode to where they pleased.

"The women in our family have been blessed by the gods to see the dead. Have you been seeing Tatia lately?"

His words resonated deep inside me.

Small pieces of the past came together. How I had these tremors being close to the sick. Those ones who never made it. I always knew.

The painful part was Mother. I knew she wasn't going to make it. If I knew, It meant she knew too. She knew she was going to die but kept it from me. How could one live so happy knowing your time in this world was over?

That mere thought brought tears to my eyes.

"Are you okay?" A voice asked.

That voice pulled me back to reality. I faced the speaker which turned out to be Conrad.

"I don't know." I disclosed.

He walked up to me and said,

"Are you crying?"

"Maybe."

"Do you maybe want a shoulder to cry on?"

"I... would like that. I would like that very much."

Tears they say makes you weak, vulnerable but sometimes you have to be vulnerable to heal.

Our bodies touched and I instantly felt the pain wash away. Humans were communal creatures, Unable to do without interaction. I learned that today. Sometimes, The best interaction was silence. That and crying on someone's shoulder, One that gave off the vanilla scent.

Chapter end